FAKERS!

By

Hibiki

"I own nothing but the memories of a horrible joke gone wrong." ~Hibiki.

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It wasn't a high brow joke. Hell to be honest, it wasn't even a good one, just something her mother had said to her father just the other day that she had heard from one of her more gossiping friends. The girls night out at a local bar seemed the most opportune moment to use it, an with the few drinks in her like she had made it seem the most hilarious thing she had ever heard.

"…and he said "Would you like to try a screaming orgasm?"." She smirked as everyone of her friends, all of them unsaid but known virgins… much like herself though none of them would admit it. "And she replies, "No, but if you give me a few notes I can fake it!"!" She smiled trying to hold in her laughs to join in with the others… that never came.

"God Ino, that's horrible!" Sakura face palmed in mortification at hearing such a horrible joke.

"That had to be the worst… I can't even call it a joke. It was so… crude!" Ten-ten replied before downing her drink as if to remove the taste of the joke from her mouth.

"…" Hinata, as red as a tomato merely shook her head as she toyed with her index fingers.

"That was comedic gold gals! You all are just too…" bitchy crabby Ino thought. "High strung." She finished holding in her worlds twice better than she was her liquor.

"High? Strung?" Temari ground out, ironically proving Ino's point. "And what would YOU know of a 'Screaming Orgasm', Yamanaka?" Using her fingers to punctuate the 'S' and 'O' with added force and inflection.

Now there is a skill that should be taught to all Shinobi, from the moment they join till the day they die. Oushi-Kuso no jutsu. The Toro Kaka. The effluence from the Taurus of the Bovinae genus Bos. That's right kiddies. The art of the Bullshit. Some people are true masters of this art, and Yamanaka Ino was no lightweight in this regard, having learned the trait from her mother and subsequently her father (basically in the validity that he was not, in fact, whipped.). So without any conscious effort words poured from her mouth like a waterfall. She would later blame the spout on an item with the same name attached to a keg.

"From experience twit." Oh shit I said what? Her mind blanked but her body reacted with any grace a master of an art form could. No twitch, flinch, or gesture could be read to say otherwise and the smirk grew into a grin that assumed 'I know damn well what I mean.' Stupid body, it was going to get her killed one day.

"What did you say?" Sakura was paying attention to her best friend now, in fact they were all were. Crap.

"When!" Ten-ten, ever the more tomboy and outgoing one jumped in, shit brain go with the flow or we're sunk, Ino's body remarked, not that anyone could see only a smirk reemerge as she leaned in a stage whisper voice.

"Just about all the time, Ten-chan." She said loudly enough Hinata looked ready to collapse into a pile of red goo and Sakura's face matched her hair. The other blonde wasn't convinced however and, later on Ino would bother curse and love her for it, spoke up her skepticisms.

"Okay then, from whom?" The girls all looked to Temari as she focused on Ino's face, trying to pierce through Ino's random flying fictitious folly, then back awaiting her answer. "Or are you saying that your fingers do the job for you?" An out, of course, and prove she had no idea what she was saying and was fibbing. Oh hell no. The younger blonde was having none of it. But what… or rather whom could she use? She had to be quick, decisive and the clock was already ticking. Her eyes latched onto the other blonde, more specifically her hair and at once a name appeared. Why not, he was perfect. They all knew him, but not that intimately, and she knew he hadn't gotten with any of the girls present. Psh and it wasn't like he would hear.

"Naruto!" The room went silent from shock almost at once as the girls stared at her… then looked up. Why woul-?

"Ino-chan." Aw shit! She ignored the now passed out form of Hinata slumping against the floor as she looked up into the stormy blue eyes of a flushed and agitated Toad Sage.

"Hi Naruto." Stupid body.

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Welcome to my bizarre attempt at a mature humor story. I blame my dad for starting up a joke today, one some of you may have heard. About a man in a bar buying a drink and listening to another man and his monkey play a song. Once the song was done the monkey raced about collecting tribute. The monkey reached the drinking man only for the man to not have a dime left. In a swift motion the monkey turns about and dunks his rear into the man's glass. In anger the man strode up to the piano player and said 'Do you know your monkey has his ass in my cup?" to which the pianist replied "No, but if you hum a few bars I can fake it."

Being in the weird mood I was My mind makes an obscene joke that you find here. I had been trying to think out Memories 13, but the seriousness wasn't there, only a bad joke and Naruto plots in my head. This, aptly named 'Fakers!' is the end result. I do not know HOW far I intend to go with this. Only that it has merit and like my others just flowed from me. Memories at the rate it's being pulled out of me looks like sometime next month. This, however, might be updated next week… hell tomorrow perhaps.