Disclaimer: I own no part of the Harry Potter franchise.

Foreword: By popular demand...well, OK, a few people asked...a sequel to "Money For Jam."

Filius Flitwick sighed gently as he prepared a classroom. It was approaching the time for what was becoming a traditional event. The first order of business was checking that the expansion charms were still working properly.

Dealing with Sirius Black's affairs was tiring, but the staff at Hogwarts had managed to come up with a workable solution. Pomona Sprout had joined Minerva McGonagall in the role of introducing muggle families to the magical world. There were so many families with "muggleborn" wizards and witches that the job was simply too big for one person.

Filius, on the other hand, got the unenviable task of running the "welcome to Hogwarts, here is something you didn't know about your parentage, and this is why you can't date anyone on this list" sessions. Frankly, he would much rather assist Minerva in talking to the families of the "muggleborn" but his ancestry got in the way.

Severus Snape's job was to be kept ignorant of the truth behind the large influx of "muggleborn" students over the past decade. Nobody wanted to know just how the Potions Professor would react to the knowledge that well over half of all the students at Hogwarts were the illegitimate children of Sirius Black.

Albus Dumbledore watched passively as Severus Snape blinked a few times as he tried to get his bearings. If he was being honest with himself, the Headmaster was getting worried about the future state of Severus' mental health if this kept on happening.

Once again, Hogwarts' Potions Professor had discovered the dirty secret behind the increase in the student population. Naturally, the Head of House Slytherin had stormed into Dumbledore's office demanding an explanation. Not to mention insisting that "something be done about this."

As usual, Dumbledore had listened patiently to Severus' rant before obliviating the unfortunate man of all knowledge he had regarding the offspring of Sirius Black. He was now waiting for his Potions Professor to recover from the process before Albus could send him on his way.

In truth, the Headmaster would like nothing better than to be find out just what was going on with the Black Family succession. Unfortunately, the most obvious course of action was currently unavailable. After discovering that Sirius Black was somehow fathering bastards while still resident in Azkaban, Dumbledore had tried to arrange to visit the prisoner in order to question him. He had been blocked in this by numerous bureaucrats at the Ministry of Magic who had come up with more red tape than the Chief Warlock had believed possible.

Professor Snape finally wandered off with some faked memories of a discussion regarding teaching standards - Albus lived in hope that he might eventually be able to influence the younger man to alter his classroom style. Now alone in his office, Dumbledore turned back to the letter he had been writing before he had been interrupted.

It was time to get the Head of the Department of Magical Law Enforcement involved. Amelia Bones was, as far as he knew, ignorant of what had been going on with Sirius Black's legacy. If nothing else, I can share the headache.

Hermione Granger was finding the trip on the Hogwarts Express to be quite exciting, starting right at the moment that she and her parents had entered Platform 9 3/4.

"That train is HUGE!" Patrick Granger exclaimed as he saw the locomotives and carriages assembled at the platform.

"I've never seen anything that big before," Hermione's mother said as they picked their way through the large crowd, "just how many students go to this school?"

"A bit over 1800 this year," a flustered person wearing a conductor's uniform replied distractedly as he hurried past, "excuse me, I'm in a hurry!"

Hermione and her parents exchanged a wide-eyed look before the crush of people forced them to move. Not wanting to endure the crowd any longer than necessary, Hermione hugged her parents goodbye before boarding the train. A chubby boy about her own age boarded right behind her, pulling his trunk with one hand while the other held a small cage that appeared to contain a toad.

"I've never seen a crowd like this before," the boy said, almost to himself.

"I haven't seen one like this since we went to the Boxing Day sales in London," Hermione replied as she glanced down the corridor of the carriage.

"Muggleborn?" the boy asked as the two started to walk down the corridor. Every compartment they passed was full.

"Yes. Are you?" Hermione inquired.

"No, I'm what they call a Pureblood. We're pretty rare at Hogwarts these days." Pausing to put his trunk down, the boy held out his hand. "Neville Longbottom."

"Hermione Granger," the bushy-haired girl replied, taking the offered hand and shaking it, "I think there's a spare compartment over there."

The compartment turned out to have two people in it, but as it was the first one that was not already full Hermione decided to take a chance. "Excuse me, can we sit in here? Everywhere else is full."

A red-haired boy looked up with a smirk. "That's just what I said. You might as well join us, from what my brothers have said the Express is usually packed tight."

The other boy, who had messy black hair and glasses, waved his hand in acceptance. Hermione pulled her trunk into the compartment, followed closely by Neville. After the two had placed their trunks in the overhead racks, Hermione sat down next to the red-head while Neville sat opposite her next to the glasses-wearing boy.

"Thanks, I was worried about finding a seat," Hermione said, "I'm Hermione Granger, by the way."

"Neville Longbottom," her recent companion offered.

"Ron Weasley," the redhead said, "and this is-"

"Harry Potter," the last occupant of the compartment finished.

Hermione blinked in surprise. She had read about Harry Potter, the "Boy-Who-Lived," in some of her books but to think she would actually meet him!

The door to the compartment opened again before anyone could say anything else. A boy stuck his head in, looking slightly frantic.

"Got room for four more? This train is really packed!"

"Sure," the redhead, Ron, replied, "we've got space."

The new additions were two boys and two girls, all of them about Hermione's age if her estimation was correct. They all looked somewhat similar, leading her to wonder if they were related.

"Thanks. I'm Brian Appleby," the firstboy introduced himself.

"Janice Longmore," one of the girls added.

"Richard Harrison."

"Martha Harding."

The rest of the introductions went quickly, Hermione noticing that none of the newcomers seemed to know about Harry. She decided to sate her curiosity.

"I have to ask - are you all related in any way? You look similar enough to be cousins." Hermione asked bluntly.

The newcomers looked at each other with no hint of recognition. "Not that I'm aware of," Brian said, "I only met Janice when I was looking for a compartment."

Janice nodded in agreement. "I've never heard of any family that have the name Appleby," she commented.

"Huh, you do look alike," Ron observed, "I take it you lot are muggleborn?"

"I am," Richard replied.

"Likewise," Martha added, Brian and Janice nodding in agreement, "does it show?"

"Sort of," Ron said with a grin directed at Harry.

James (not Jim, never Jim) Noakes had been driving the Hogwarts Express for over 30 years. For the most part it had been steady work with no real excitement - other than the ever-changing weather, the route was the same and it was not like he met the passengers.

It had all started to change in 1988. That was the year when the first year class had been a lot bigger than usual - the normal load was 600 students across all seven years. In 1988 that number went up to just over 900. It had been getting steadily worse ever since.

The Headmaster had given them a warning that things were only going to get worse, so the team had started planning for ever-larger trains. If James had his way they would split the train up into 5 or 6 smaller trains, but the hide-bound traditionalists were adamant that all of the students had to travel up in the same train and arrive at the same time.

The result was the monstrosity he was currently directing. And wasn't that a change - he was no longer driving the train, but had been relegated to the director of operations. The increasing size of the Express had forced the retirement of their carefully acquired and lovingly maintained GWR 4900 class locomotive. The old girl was just not powerful enough to keep up. Fortunately the American wizards still made their own steam locomotives and had been able to supply a number of more powerful locomotives at fairly short notice.

Now the Hogwarts Express had 32 carriages, up from the 10 they used to run. They had three brand new Union Pacific "Big Boy" class locomotives to move it all, two at the front and one bringing up the rear. The whole damn thing was over a third of a mile long and James did not want to even think about how much the whole lot weighed. The sheer length had forced the Ministry to send expert warders to expand the size of Platform 9 3/4 several times, with similar work taking place at Hogsmeade.

As the Hogwarts Express worked its way north, James looked back over his shoulder and could just make out the rear locomotive in the distance. Learning to operate a multi-locomotive train had been an experience in itself.

Looking ahead again, James sighed mournfully. He was not looking forward to when they had to unload this lot at Hogsmeade. To hell with what the brass says, next year we're running this as at least 6 separate trains!

Dumbledore surprised Amelia Bones when he drank his tea down in a single long gulp. He looked at her sheepishly as he lowered his cup.

"My apologies for the lack of decorum, but the start of the school year is a trying experience these days."

Amelia nodded. She had heard about the increasing size of the student population. Shopping for school supplies with her niece Susan had been a trying experience, Minerva McGonagall shepherding a large group of muggleborn and their parents around Diagon Alley with a look of quiet desperation on her face.

"So, I received your letter regarding Sirius Black. I have good news and bad news." Amelia stated, eager to get to the heart of the matter and avoid wasting time.

"That was quick," Dumbledore said with some surprise, "I only sent it yesterday."

"Yes, well the College of Arms sent me a similar letter a few months ago," Amelia explained, "so we'd already started to look into it."

Dumbledore nodded. "That makes sense. I know the Heralds have been worried about this. So, any luck on getting permission to organise an interview with Sirius?"

"Unfortunately, no," Amelia replied, rubbing her eyes tiredly, "the usual rules are that only immediate family are allowed to visit. Any formal questioning has to be done under official procedures."

"I fail to see the problem," Dumbledore said, "surely we just need to fill out the relevant forms and we can be on our way."

"You'd think that would be the case," Amelia responded, "unfortunately the paperwork turned into a nightmare. One of my clerks was far too good at her job and discovered that Sirius Black never had a trial."

Dumbledore blinked in surprise. "What, the records were lost?"

"No, the records never existed," Amelia explained, "it turns out that Crouch just decided to send Black straight to Azkaban without bothering with a trial first. That means that Sirius Black has been incarcerated illegally, and we can't go in and question him without dealing with that first."

Dumbledore pinched the bridge of his nose. "So, now we have to run a trial that's at least 10 years overdue. Just what I needed to hear in the middle of trying to introduce over 300 muggleborn students to life at Hogwarts. Anything else to make this week even worse?"

"Actually, yes," Amelia said, smirking slightly, "we've already started on the background investigation for the upcoming trial. We questioned Crouch and he was far too evasive to my liking, so I sent a team to surprise him at home."

"And?" Dumbledore asked, sounding weary.

"And they found Barty Crouch Junior locked in the basement," Amelia continued, wincing slightly when she saw Dumbledore's reaction, "it turns out Crouch smuggled his son out using polyjuice. The body we buried was Crouch's wife. He's been keeping his son in the basement under the Imperius ever since."

"Oh that's just perfect," Dumbledore half-snarled, "all we need now is definitive proof that the Minister is taking bribes and the week will be complete!"

"Bite your tongue," Amelia said quickly as she sorted through the piles of parchment on her desk, "we don't want to tempt fate right now."

After Professor Flitwick finished his presentation to the 300 or so students that had been assembled, a stunned silence settled in.

"Well, that's all from me," Flitwick said, packing up his notes and heading for the door, "but if you wait for a moment there will be somebody else to see you in a moment."

After the door closed behind the Charms Professor, one of the girls near the front of the class spoke up without turning around. "So, did everybody already know that they were a test tube baby?"

There was a muted chorus of agreement, with some comments such as "mum told me as soon as she thought I'd understand" and "I only found out when Professor McGonagall came to talk to us."

"It's a hell of a thing to learn, right?" Everybody in the room turned at that, to see a fourth year student in Hufflepuff colours standing at the door. "Hi, my name is Jacob Greene. I'm here to invite you to our club."

"What, there's a club for all of us?" a girl in Ravenclaw colours asked.

"Yep. We don't have an official name, but we're all in the same boat. It comes as a shock to everyone, so we try to support each other."

A first year Slytherin boy looked relieved. "That's nice to hear. I was getting a bit worried."

"No official name," another boy mused, "any unofficial names?"

"Well," the fourth year said hesitantly, "some people have called us the Black Bastard Club."

"Crass but accurate," a Gryffindor boy commented, "anything we need to know right now?"

"Just one thing. The first rule of the club is that nobody tells Snape about any of this. That comes straight from the Headmaster, so don't even think about breaking it."

Albus Dumbledore pinned Sirius Black with a glare that reminded the Marauder of how the Headmaster had reacted after a certain greasy git had nearly ended up inside Remus.

"I know that I owe you several apologies for how badly the Ministry, and I, failed you," the Supreme Mugwump began, "but before I get to that you owe me an explanation."

"For what?" Sirius asked diffidently. His respect for Dumbledore, and authority figures in general, had been badly undermined by his illegal imprisonment.

Dumbledore responded by throwing a thick file on the table in front of Sirius. "Read it."

Sirius suppressed his desire to tell Dumbledore exactly where he could shove the file, picking it up and starting to read. The first page had a précis of the overall report. By the time he reached the end of the summary, Sirius looked pole-axed.

"What the hell..." he muttered.

"That's what we want to know," Dumbledore replied icily, "have you any idea just how much trouble this has caused?"

"But I don't know how..." Sirius trailed off as his mind went into overtime. His eyes widened dramatically as a thought struck him.

"I think I know what happened. But before I explain anything, I want immunity from some minor legal breaches I may or may not have committed."

Dumbledore sighed, before he turned to the door. "Please ask Madam Bones to join us," he called out, "I think I'll need her expertise."

"Right, I think we've got this all sorted out," Albus Dumbledore said as he sat down with Amelia Bones and Minerva McGonagall, "Sirius Black has explained just how he ended up siring so many offspring."

The two women nodded, both of them looking equally frustrated and admiring. "I had no idea the muggles could do all of this," Minerva commented, "let alone that they would offer money for...donations."

"Let's leave it at that, shall we?" Amelia said hurriedly, "the annoying part is that there's nothing on the books that covers this. The only laws Sirius broke for his scheme were when he stole from Borgin & Burkes - and isn't that a joke in itself - illegal entry into other countries plus the illegal creation of portkeys. None of which is something I'm willing to pursue after he spent a decade in Azkaban without a trial."

"Quite," Dumbledore replied, "the problem now is that we have no way of finding and removing all of Sirius'...donations."

"Which means we can look forward to several more years of being inundated with Sirius' bastards," Minerva said in a resigned tone, "we'll just have to keep managing as we have. Though we're definitely going to need more staff, Albus."

"I know and I've managed to persuade the Board of that," Dumbledore said, "I've sent word to the other countries where Sirius visited and they are already starting to take measures to avoid any...unfortunate circumstances."

"You mean two half-siblings ending up married," Amelia muttered, "I feel sorry for these children. Spending seven years in a school mostly filled with your own family..."

Dumbledore hurriedly interrupted the train of thought. "Yes, well, Sirius has agreed to write a will so the College of Arms is satisfied. He's named Harry Potter as his heir for now."

"Do any of Sirius' children have a claim on the Black estate?" Minerva asked.

Dumbledore paused and thought it over. "I have no idea. I suspect that it will take a team of lawyers more time and money to sort out than any of us would care to spare."

"All this so Black could spend up big on Hogsmeade weekends," Amelia said as she looked at the ceiling, "at least none of his friends ever found out. Can you imagine what it would have been like if James Potter had decided to try the same thing?"

An involuntary shudder ran around the room. "I am grateful on Harry's part that Sirius never saw fit to share the secret of his money-making scheme with his friends," Minerva said as she pulled out a hip flask to top up her tea.

Severus Snape glared at the class of first year Slytherins. Ever since the number of muggleborn students had started to increase out of all proportion, running separate classes for each House had become mandatory. The result was that he had to spend more time teaching and had less time for his own projects.

Still, there was something about the students that had him on edge. Too many of them looked familiar in a way he could not quite pin down...

Author's notes: I have no idea just how many IVF babies are produced each year in the UK, so I took some liberties with population estimates for this fic.

Many thanks to Doghead Thirteen for the help in figuring out just how colossal a train for over 1800 students would be. I decided to skip over the logistics of unloading everybody at Hogsmeade, getting over 300 first years onto boats for the trip across the lake, and just how many carriages would be needed to get the other students up to the castle...