Title: What is Love?

Author: Karrissarella

Genre: Romance/Humor

Rating: M

Summary: Shizuo loves Tom. Tom shows him how much he loves him. Kinkmeme fill.

A/N: /Celty's messages/

Thoughts

Shizuo had always been worried about how he looked in Tom-san's eyes. Tom was someone he looked up to, someone who he counted on and who counted on him. No matter how angry Shizuo got, no matter how many times Shizuo saw red, and only red, and when his vision came back – the whole town was nearly on fire - Tom never fired him like any of those other jobs that he would surely have gotten fired at. He took out a smoke, turned to the bodyguard and said, "Let's take a break then."

At first, Shizuo was just happy to find an adult that liked him, that wasn't scared of him, and in a way – understood him. He was generally just happy to have an adult to look up to – one he didn't wreck the store for and sprain their legs.

Shizuo had caught himself stealing glances over at the dread-locked man while his boss would talk civilly to the citizen that owed him money. He never really realized how good-looking of an older man Tom was.

Tom gave a sigh and rubbed his forehead, which was usually the signal for Shizuo to do what he had to do to the client and get him out of Tom's sight. He frowned, when he still heard rambling apologies from the civilian and no breaking of any tree from it's roots, or no street sign pole bending in half, and no enraged Shizuo.

"Shizuo-" he turned to find his bodyguard and blinked as he saw the taller man just standing there and staring at him, completely calm. "Shizuo. It's time." He waved his hand in front of his glasses. "Yo, you awake in there?" He said, knocking on his forehead.

Shizuo snapped back to reality, looking down at Tom now to see what he wanted. He saw the signal, and turned to look at the civilian who seemed to have gone silent for a moment, awaiting his fate. "Oh, right. Sorry, Tom-san." He said, reaching over and grabbing a lampost from behind him, ripping it out of the cement, sending the non-paying client flying back into his apartment as well as three other's.

–

"Do you need a break?" Tom asked, looking up at the blonde. "You seem kind of out of it today. Actually, you have seemed pretty out of it for the past couple of weeks."

Shizuo shoved his hands in his pockets. He didn't know what to think. He had never thought about Tom in a sexual or attracted way. He never noticed before that Tom would always put his hair up in a ponytail half-way through the clients for the day. He never noticed how many cigarettes Tom smoked that day or that he always got the same sushi at Russia Sushi. He never noticed any of this girly crap before now. What the hell was wrong with him?

"Shizuo...?"

Shizuo was inwardly scowling at his own thoughts. He turned to Tom, frowning. "Is it alright if I take the afternoon off? I can't focus on beating people up today." He murmured.

Tom blinked. To anyone else, that would be a good thing. A great thing. It would show them that Shizuo was capable of holding his rage back, but Tom knew Shizuo and he knew that something was seriously distracting Shizuo from doing his job.

Tom wasn't dumb though. He had plenty of lovers in his time, and he was more than experienced. He noticed the glances that Shizuo would take at him, and the awkward conversations that the bodyguard would try to start, but then realized casual conversation was probably not Shizuo's best trait. He knew it would take a long time for Shizuo to accept that he found someone of the same sex attractive, let alone trying to confess his feelings to one. Tom found this utterly cute and kept to himself until Shizuo was ready.

"Sure. You sure you're okay, man?"

Shizuo nodded quickly, "Yeah. I have to go talk to someone." He said, and with that he walked down the sidewalk until he found the familiar parked van outside a manga shop.

Shizuo moved down the isles aimlessly, ignoring the hushed whispers about the legend entering their shop. He finally found his high school friend, moving over to the man. "Kyohei." He stated, which caused the man to look up from the manga he was reading and over to the blonde.

"Shizuo. What's going on?" Kyohei asked. It was rare when Shizuo would come to him for things, but he knew why he would and that was because-

"I need your help and like hell, I'm going to that flea or that babbling idiot." That was why.

Kyohei waited. Shizuo looked over at the two teenagers who had stopped their nerd fight with each other to focus on the blonde. "Can we talk...outside? Alone." He said, and Kyohei simply nodded.

"Saboru. Make sure these two stay in here." Kadota replied, eying Walker and Erika. "Mostly her, though." He said, pointing to Erika who was about to melt into a fangirl puddle right then and there.

Saboru nodded, and gave his friends a thumbs up.

Erika inwardly squealed as he watched the two older men exit the store. "Dotachin and Shizuo! How rare! I wonder how feel Iza-Iza will feel about this!"

Saboru and Walker exchanged glances and just shook their heads, sighing heavily. Talking sense into Erika was impossible so they let her have her fangasm.

–

"So, what's up?" He asked curiously, looking up at the blonde.

"You've...had a lot of relationships, right? I mean, more than me anyway." He muttered, "and you seem like the sanest person to talk to about this." He murmured, pulling out a cigarette.
Kadota shrugged in response. "Only a few. Nothing too serious. Why?" He asked.

"Do you know what love feels like?" Shizuo asked, turning to his high school friend.

"Do you think you are, Shizuo?" Kyohei blinked, a bit surprised this was the topic Shizuo was asking him about.

"I don't know," he muttered. I'm afraid. Shizuo thought. What if I hurt him? What if he agrees to be with me, and I hurt him?

"Shizuo?"

"What if something happens?" Shizuo asked finally.

Kadota blinked, staring up at the blonde. "You're afraid?"

"I just need to know what love is before I can love," he paused, "I think."

Kadota moved off the wall he was leaning against, turning to his friend. "I don't know if I can tell you that, Shizuo. Love is a risk. Dangerous." He smiled, "but if you really love this person – you'll take it." He said. "That's all the advice, I can really give you man."

Shizuo sighed as he took his cigarette out of his mouth, watching the smoke evaporate into the air. "I guess that makes sense. Thanks." He said, turning on his heel before he stopped and looked back at the gang member. "Kyohei."

Kadota turned sideways to face Shizuo again before walking back into the store. "Have you ever felt something for the same sex?" He asked softly.

Kadota blushed, knowing if he mentioned any of his and Saboru's affairs, he would surely be done for by the said-man himself. "...Yes, and it's nothing to be ashamed of." He said, giving him a warm smile. "Is that it?"

Shizuo nodded, and turned, walking down the sidewalk.

–

Tom blinked as he heard a knock at his door. He stood up from where he was leisurely laying in his bed and opened his door. "This is a surprise." He greeted the celebrity. "Come on in." He said, moving out of the doorway.

Kasuka took the invitation.

"What brings you here?" Tom asked curiously, though he probably already knew.

"Shizuo." He answered simply.

"As blunt as ever, I see."

Kasuka turned to Tom, "you know." He stated, and Tom nodded. "I do."

They both stayed silent for a long moment before Kasuka broke it. "What do you plan to do?"

"I want him to come to me on his own. I think that would be best." The collector replied. "How did you know when he'd be ready? This isn't like some creepy brotherly connection, is it?" He joked.

Kasuka shook his head, "Kyohei called me." He explained, "What will you tell him when he confesses?"

Tom stared over at the younger Heijawama. "I think that's personal."

"...I see." Kasuka knew what that meant. "You love him too."

Tom stayed silent. Kasuka's voice brought his attention back to the boy at his door. "Shizuo-nii will either be thoroughly embarrassed that you already knew, or he'll get mad at himself for not noticing the hints himself."

"But I didn't really give any-" he started, before Kasuka raised his hand up in the air to stop him from continuing.

"It won't matter."

"Should I be worried about him?" Tom frowned.

Kasuka shook his head, giving the collector a faint smile. "No, because you're Tom-san." He explained, and that was all the explanation he had to give to Tom.

Tom would understand if Shizuo came up to him, frustrated while he fought with his feelings in front of him. It was okay because he was Tom-san, and Tom-san understood him and didn't look down on him like a lot of other adults in Shizuo's life. And if Tom-san loved him, Shizuo wouldn't have anything to worry about. He definitely didn't have anything to worry about.

"Would you like to stay for a cup of tea?" Tom offered, but Kasuka shook his head.

"No, I must get going. I just wanted to stop by, and see what might happen. I didn't want to see my big brother hurt."

"I won't ever hurt him, Kasuka. You have my word."

Kasuka nodded, and gave his farewell.

–

Shizuo was pacing back and forth in the park. He was muttering to himself that only he could hear himself clearly, but he was getting a few looks. It pissed him off. He had already threw a group of annoying teenagers into the air that tried to make fun of him.

He stopped pacing once he heard the familiar roar of a bike. He looked up to see Celty parking her bike and make her way over to him.

/Hey. Is everything okay?/ Celty asked. /Wanna talk about it?/

Shizuo sighed as he took seat on the park bench next to the dullahan. He waited as he heard the familiar tapping by her. He looked down at the message.

/What's up?/

Shizuo leaned his head back, turning his gaze to the sky. "I think I like someone."

/Like someone?/

Shizuo nodded, "I think I'm in love with someone, or some shit, but how the hell do I tell if I love them, or if I just...really look up to them?"

More tapping.

/It could be both./

"You and that babbling idiot are together, right? Do you love him?" Shizuo watched his friends smoke bubble out from under her helmet. Probably from embarrassment by the question.

/Well...well, of course! ...Even if he is an idiot./

Shizuo chuckled at that. "How...did you know?"

/?/

"How did you know you were in love?"

Celty tapped the chin of her helmet, giving it some thought before typing a message back in response.

/I realized he's the person I want to spend the rest of my life with. For as long as I can, anyway./ She typed, before backspacing it and typing another message. /Shizuo. Are you in love with someone?/

Shizuo frowned, "I don't know. All of this girly shit is giving me a headache." He growled as he pulled out his box of cigarettes, and pulled one out, lighting it, shoving it in his mouth.

/So...you wanted to talk about your crush?/

"Sort of." Shizuo responded bluntly.

And as if Celty could read Shizuo's thoughts, she responded with this message, /What are you afraid of?/

Shizuo inhaled the smoke and watched as it released from his mouth. "Everyone I've ever started to care about got hurt by me in the end. If you weren't hurt by me, then you are either stronger than me – or my family, and he's neither."

Celty was surprised to hear the male suffix, but she didn't say anything. /You'll never know if you don't try./ She offered her wisdom.

"And if he doesn't reciprocate the feelings?" Shizuo asked hesitantly, as much as those words pained him.

/He isn't the one./

–

Shizuo pressed the button on the vending machine as two candy bars fell down. He reached down and picked them up. He walked back over, ripping the wrapper off one and shoving it in his mouth. He shoved the extra candy bar in Tom's face, not saying anything as he chewed on his own.

Tom looked at the offer, and read the wrapper. He smiled gently, pushing away the candy bar. "Thanks, but...I'm allergic to peanut butter." He said, looking down at the Reese's.

Shizuo yanked the candy bar back to him as quickly as he shoved it in his boss's face. Idiot, Shizuo thought. He could have killed Tom! This would never work. He would do something stupid without knowing and get Tom really sick! He grunted and shoved the rest of his candy bar into his mouth.

Tom looked up at the taller man, amused by this situation. "Do you feel better today?"

Shizuo turned to look at him quizically.

"After your break?" Tom specified and Shizuo blinked.

"Mn. Yeah, I guess."

"Just needed time to cool off? You seemed pretty distracted." Tom urged the conversation.

Shizuo sighed, digging in his pocket for a cigarette. "Yeah, I went to go talk to Celty so that helped." He muttered through his cigarette.

"Do I get in on the conversation?" Tom teased slightly as he lit his own cigarette. Their next customer wasn't scheduled for a meeting until the late afternoon.

"Mn.." Shizuo sighed. He was at loss of words. He didn't think it would be this hard. How fucking hard was it to open your goddamn mouth and say, "Shit, I fucking love you."

Tom blinked, turning to the blonde who seemed to still be deep in thought. Did he really-? Did he really just-? Did he really not realize that he said that out loud?

"I need another break. I'll be right back." Shizuo replied, turning to move back to the vending machine where he got his sweets before. He felt a hand grip around his wrist, stopping him from going any farther. He didn't know who it was so he swung his body around – already getting pissed at whoever was touching him without his permission before he turned to face his boss, who was just smiling over at him.

"Tom-?" He asked.

"If you take another break, you're going to lapse into a sugar coma." He laughed.

Shizuo could feel the heat rising to his face. Shit, shit, shit. His ears were burning. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Great, now what was he supposed to do? He'd rather have lapsed into a sugar coma than having Tom smile so sweetly at him like this. Like he knew.

Tom released the grip on the man's wrist and let his arm drop back to his side. He pulled out his smokes, "I love you too." He said casually, before lighting the stick.

Shizuo furrowed his brows. Was his boss a mind-reader? Why would he just say that suddenly? "What?" Shizuo asked, baffled, though he was pretty sure he was the same color as a tomato.

Tom chuckled softly, pulling his cigarette out and tapping the bud, watching the ashes fall to the ground. "I love you too," he repeated.

Shizuo felt his tensed up body relax, turning to face the collector. "How did you-"

"You said it out loud, you idiot." He answered, smirking, looking back at the blonde. He put out his cigarette and closed the gap between them. "It's okay," he said gently, reaching up to caress Shizuo's cheek which was burning with heat. "I love you too," he said.

–

Tom pulled his hand back, looking up at the awestruck blonde. "You know what? You're right. We can take a break. Our next client is scheduled until 4. We've got a couple hours. How about we hang out at my place since it's right around the corner?" He suggested.

Shizuo looked over at him, his brown eyes were wide behind the shades he wore, and he wouldn't have been surprised if his jaw dropped. Tom just confessed his feelings to him, and now he was asking him over to his house for a 'break.' He saw this in movies, well, adult movies. If he wasn't so awestruck, he probably would've thought this all was a dream and he was going to wake up with wet pants.

"Shizuo?" Tom's voice snapped Shizuo back to reality. "Do you want to?" He asked, and all Shizuo could do was dumbly nod. "Sure..."

Tom nodded and turned to walk back to his apartment complex. He stopped, not hearing any pattering footsteps behind him. He turned to see Shizuo still standing where they had both confessed. He smiled over at the younger man. It was sort of cute to see him all flustered like this.

"Shizuo?"

Shizuo turned to look up at his boss, noticing he had taken a few steps forward. "Oh, sorry." He said, frowning, glaring down at his feet.

"What's wrong?" Tom asked, raising an eyebrow.

"I can't move," he snarled at his feet.

Tom shot the blonde a weak smile. He reached down and grabbed Shizuo's hand and watched Shizuo's face burn with color. "Come on, my apartment is just around this block."

"I'll look like an idiot," Shizuo growled at their linked hands, embarrassed, and anyone who dare shoot them a wrong or questionable look was going through the nearest building. Even if it was embarrassing, it did feel nice – to hold Tom's hand like this. Yeah, it felt nice.

–

Shizuo followed Tom into his apartment. He looked around the living space. It was a bit bigger than his, but it was still nothing too fancy. He had been over to Tom's place a million times for a beer, or to watch the game, or just to chill, but now it was completely different. It was like he was walking in for the first time – he was noticing things he never noticed before, like how Tom's apartment was lined with pictures of friends and him, how big Tom's television really was, and how big his bed seemed to be.

He swallowed hard as he tried to shake those thoughts from his head. He blushed when he saw Tom turn to him and realized they were still holding hands. He slowly pulled his hand away, looking down at him.

Tom smiled weakly, "can you walk by yourself now?" He teased, which caused the bodyguard to give him a scowl. He held his hands up in defense, "So, you fucking love me, huh?" He smiled once he saw Shizuo's face change colors.

Shizuo turned to glance away, balling his hands at his side. "I even fucked up to confessing to you," he scolded himself, but was taken aback when he heard Tom's laugh. This was funny to him? Was this just some kind of joke to him? He glared down at his feet. If only you had worked, you stupid feet!

Tom shook his head, "It was cute." He said, taking a few steps closer to the blonde, leaving very little space between them.

"You of all people should know that's not a compliment to a man." Shizuo muttered under his breath. Tom sighed, looking up at him. "Fine, it was very...brave then." He said, reaching up to slip off Shizuo's sunglasses and sat them in the ex-bartender's vest. He pushed his face up to Shizuo, lips inches away from each other. "I suppose you want to kiss me?"

Shizuo tensed, he could feel Tom's breath brushing over him. He took a few steps back, "I-well, I mean, not if you-" He turned away, "don't want to," he said softly.

Tom rolled his eyes and gripped Shizuo's chin, pulling their lips together in a soft kiss. He wrapped his arms around Shizuo's neck, only because Shizuo was a lot taller than him, and it would've looked awkward if Shizuo wrapped his arms around his neck. He pulled his body against the bodyguard once he felt Shizuo's arms wrap around his waist and felt the younger man trying to kiss back.

Tom couldn't help, but chuckle into the kiss, and as if on cue, Shizuo backed up from the kiss, frowning. "Sorry, my kissing sucks."

Tom shook his head, and pulled Shizuo back down to his lips, kissing them. "Oh, shut up." He murmured against his lips, his hands reaching down to Shizuo's slacks.

Shizuo felt the weight of his pants hit the floor, leaving his bobbing erection exposed. Shizuo's eyes went wide when he saw Tom drop to his knees. "Wait-!"

Tom rose an eyebrow as he looked up at the blonde.

Shizuo balled his fists, closing his eyes tightly. "I-I want to do it to you," he said so quickly, Tom almost didn't catch it. "Maybe...it can make up for...the terrible way I confessed to you," he muttered, "or something."

Tom stood up and moved over to his bed, sitting down on it, he began to unbutton his pants, before he felt two large hands over his. He had never seen Shizuo so nervous before, his hands were shaking as they undid the belt and fell through the loops to the ground. He felt cold air graze across his exposed erection now. He watched Shizuo slowly open his mouth and engulf Tom's length. Tom gasped at the touch, a hand moving to Shizuo's head, fingering through the blonde locks. He leaned back on his bed as he felt the warm tongue swarm around him, licking, and sucking.

Shizuo had never done anything like this before, not even with a woman. He preferred to be the bottom, because this way, he wouldn't be the cause if someone got hurt. He wasn't worried about himself being on the receiving end – he had cars, trucks, vans, buses run into him and he survived all of that, being the catcher couldn't be that bad – at least not for someone like him.

Shizuo pulled his head up once he heard the brunette's words of how he was going to come if he didn't stop. He watched Tom sit back up, and Tom looked down at the blonde with his lips now so wet and pink and plump. Tom had to keep himself from jumping the bodyguard.

"Are you sure you want to do this?" Tom asked him, and Shizuo's only response was a small nod. He noticed that Shizuo wasn't exactly an expertise when faced with a bedroom situation like this. He pulled Shizuo up by the man's hands onto the bed.

"Relax," Tom chuckled as he pushed the taller man down on the bed, crawling on top of him. He reached down to kiss Shizuo on the lips, to his cheek, to his jawline, down his neck. A hand moved to unbutton Shizuo's vest, and then his undershirt. Tom's touches ghosted over Shizuo's toned chest, tweaking a nipple between his fingers which earned a soft whimper from the bodyguard.

Shizuo's face was burned with heat, he had never squeaked before. That was embarrassing. How could he not though with all those gentle touches and sucking the dread-locked man was doing to him? Tom didn't seem like he let it phase him. Shizuo watched as the braided hair tickled his chest and watched his boss's lips close around a pink nub, sucking on one while the other hand twisted the other.

Oh god, this was torture. He would rather have someone ramming into him so he wouldn't feel anything, but Tom's touches were so soft, and gentle, and it made him want to shake the man. It was so good it was torture.

Shizuo's face was flushed, as Tom came back up to kiss him once again, this time he opened his mouth and pushed his tongue to Shizuo's lips which the blonde gladly opened his mouth to. He felt the coolness of Tom's rings against his face. It felt nice against his face that he swore was getting higher every time Tom touched him.

Tom pulled away from the kiss, "you're sure?" He asked once again, and this time it was Shizuo's turn to chuckle. "Yes," he told Tom, reaching up to cup his cheek. He just hoped he wasn't dreaming and would wake up with wet pants.

Shizuo felt his slacks ripped off his legs, a hand moving over his length for a quick, slow stroke before he heard a cap pop open and felt two fingers push into him. He gasped, arching his back up to the touch a little, pushing against Tom's fingers.

Oh god, why was he torturing him with this slow-ass pace?

"God, just fuck me." Shizuo muttered, and Tom looked up at the bodyguard who's face was pushed against the pillow, giving small moans every time Tom pushed his fingers fully into him. He moved his fingers at a faster pace which caused the blonde to pant heavily from the sensation flowing through his body.

Shizuo whimpered once Tom pulled his fingers out and hadn't put them back in. He watched the brunette sit up on his knees, spreading Shizuo's legs as he slowly pushed himself into Shizuo's entrance.

Shizuo began to breath heavily, his vision went white once he felt Tom stop pushing into him, filling his boss's length fill him. He felt Tom move his length back out at a slow pace before filling him again. "Shit. Doesn't that thing move any faster?" He growled softly.

Tom chuckled, pushing his full length into Shizuo, before leaning over the man, placing kisses on his neck. "Not everything has to be faster, harder, stronger...Shizuo." He said softly, picking his speed up to a moderate pace.

Shizuo's only answers were whimpers and grunts, before his eyes went wide as he felt Tom hit his prostate. "Fuck! There." He said, looking up at the brunette with half-lidded eyes as he finally felt Tom pick his pace up to the speed he had desired for a while.

Shizuo curled against Tom's body, feeling his release inside him and shortly after, his own problem exploded over his stomach.

Tom looked down at Shizuo who had pressed his head against his chest, still trying to catch his breath. He moved down to cup Shizuo's cheek, lifting his face up to look at him. "Hey," he started, "I fucking love you." He smirked.

Shizuo's cheeks flushed, and buried his head back into his boss' chest, "Shut up."

A/N: Hope you enjoyed! Tom/Shizuo is very fun to write! :) Don't forget to R&R!