An Alternate Dreamland

"Mulder?"

"Scully?"

The two agents stood just feet apart, staring at each other in disbelief.

The rip in their reality had hit them both squarely in the middle of the highway just outside Area 51 as the bright light passed overhead. Scully had felt the way shedid when she'd gone tree climbing with her brother Charlie as a little girl and had fallen from a low branch. All the air in her body had felt punched out of her with one giant wallop. Momentary panic had enveloped her back then as it had a few moments earlier. In both scenarios, she wasn't sure if her breathing would ever start again. Of course it did.

But….but this time she thought she must have hit her head. Standing directly in front of her was….her!

"Mulder?" she said again. Her hand went to her throat, as the voice that came out was definitely not her own.

"Oh, geez, Scully, I don't believe this," Mulder squeaked, staring directly into his own face.

Mulder and Scully looked down at the bodies they inhabited. Mulder was entranced by the fact that he was wearing a skirt and chunky black shoes. Scully was amazed at the length of her legs and the height from which she was looking down at the shiny men's shoes on her feet.

"I'm you," Scully whispered.

"And I'm you," said Mulder, looking nervously at his partner.

Scully suddenly felt very angry. She crossed her arms and glared at her partner. "Dammit, Mulder, wasn't I just saying in the car a few minutes ago that this is the kind of crap our lives revolve around? That we drive thousands of miles through towns where people have families and play with their kids and we have…. this," she shrieked, grabbing the edge of Mulder's blazer and ripping it away from her chest.

Mulder watched as two buttons fell to the pavement.

"Hey, that's a really expensive jacket, Scully. Mind the threads."

Scully gave Mulder a murderous look. "Mind the threads … MIND THE THREADS?" she screamed. "I'm standing here in your body and you're in mind and you say mind the threads? Mulder, you are certifiably insane. Do you have any idea how serious this is?" she shouted.

Mulder was silent for a moment. "Serious enough for you to give my poor male body a heart attack, probably," he pouted. "Let's just take a breath, Scully."

Scully sighed and turned away, walking away from her partner. Mulder hung his head, then looked up at the stars trying to calm himself. He took a deep breath and started to walk toward Scully, but tripped over his feet in Scully's lady shoes, falling to the road.

"Shit," he yelped.

Scully came running, her footfalls landing confidently. "Mulder, what happened? Are you…. uh, and I …. okay. I mean, are you okay, Mulder?"

"Yeah, I guess I'm okay," he said hesitantly, "but I think I ripped my pantyhose." He shyly lifted his head and grinned at Scully. Scully was silent for a moment, snorted, and then broke into full-out laughter, dropping to the pavement beside Mulder. The two agents wrapped their arms around each other and rocked back and forth, laughing hysterically.

"Boy, oh boy, Mulder, have we done it this time," said Scully, hiccupping though manly giggles. "I think we'd better get you back to the motel and get you cleaned up," she said, taking out a tissue and blotting a small trail of blood trickling down from Mulder's knee.

"Let me help you up," she said.

Scully was surprised by her own strength. She'd just meant to give Mulder a boost, but she almost threw him over her shoulder. He was so small and light.

"Thanks, Scully," he said, leaning on Scully and limping on the way back to the car.

"Mulder?"

"Yeah, Scully?"

"Think if I drive, my feet might actually reach the pedals?"

Mulder grimaced at the memory of him saying something nasty to Scully once about her little feet but felt instant relief when he saw the grin on her face.

"Yep, you get to drive 'cause you're the guy. You da man, Scully, you da man," he laughed. Scully kept smiling and helped Mulder in before getting behind the wheel and driving back to the motel.

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