"Christmas waves a magic wand over this world, and behold, everything is softer and more beautiful."
~ Norman Vincent Peale
"Edward?" A small girl with sweet brown eyes and a missing front tooth questioned.
"Yeah, Bella?" A mischievous, little green-eyed boy responded.
"Santa Claus is real, right?" The waiver in her voice was impossible to miss. Her older cousin had teased her relentlessly the night before when she announced that she had finally finished her letter to the jolly old elf.
Edward hesitated for just a moment. He too had been on the rough end of a teasing regarding Santa Claus, only it had been the year before. Edward remembered being so upset that he had found his mother immediately and demanded the truth.
The truth had left him devastated. He felt betrayed by all the lies until his mother had shared a loving nugget of wisdom.
"My sweet boy," she had said. "It isn't a man in a red suit, that rides around in a sleigh, pulled by eight reindeer that makes Christmas magical." Edward had looked at her with skepticism clearly painted across his cherubic face and his mother had chuckled softly. "I'm serious, Edward. The magic of Christmas comes from everything we give and share, on and before that magical day. People are kinder, more joyful. They aren't afraid to show their hearts. Christmas is magical because we make it that way. We give our love and receive it in spades."
Edward had still been upset by the news, but as he looked into his best friend's sad russet eyes, he thought he understood what his mother had been trying to say.
"I don't know, Bella. He could be? But even if he isn't, there's something magical about Christmas anyway, don't you think?" He mumbled while trying to finish his holiday coloring page for their first grade teacher.
"Yeah," Bella whispered, her eyes distant and thoughtful. "Yeah, there is," she gave a sharp nod and a small smile.
…
Edward startled awake with a sudden jerk. He rubbed his tired jade eyes as the wispy vapors of his dream swirled in his thoughts. He found it odd that such a random memory would resurface, seemingly out of nowhere. With a stretch and a rather loud yawn, Edward concluded that his upcoming Christmas in Forks must have been the reason for the rather disarming dream.
After a glance at his nightstand, Edward knew he could no longer linger in his warm and comfortable bed. He was supposed to arrive in his small hometown no later than seven o'clock tonight, and it was well past five in the morning. He heaved a long-suffering sigh, trying to tamp down the ridiculous burst of excitement he felt at the thought of finally returning home.
Edward had been certain that California was the place for him, he had dreamed of it for years. He had mapped out his entire life while he was merely a freshman in high school. Edward wanted to attend U of C Berkeley and study music. It was a passion of his. He couldn't think of anything more fulfilling than being able to make a career out of something he felt deep in his soul. He worked hard, incredibly so, to make sure that dream became a reality.
Throughout high school he knuckled down in his classes, he participated in many extra-curricular activities: football, track, baseball, student council and symphonic band. If it looked good on a college application, you could count on Edward being a part of it. He was steadfast in his resolve. He would go to the school of his dreams, major in music and music education and nothing would stand in his way.
Edward knew his father wasn't exceptionally keen on the idea of his only son following such a path. Carlisle Cullen was a highly respected doctor and had always hoped that Edward would follow in his footsteps. Therefore Edward felt it was necessary to make his dreams come to fruition on his own; the perceived slight against his father's wishes weighed heavily on his conscience.
And so he did. Edward received a full scholarship to his dream college, all on his own, and he could hardly wait to leave Forks behind for the sun, sand and freedom of California.
After four years, however, Edward felt worn and weary. California was beautiful, of course. But he missed the lush green of Washington. Edward missed knowing people by name and having ties to keep himself anchored. He missed home.
Besides his professors, neighbors and a few acquaintances, Edward really didn't know anyone in California. He had learned pretty quickly that he was in a completely different world from his quaint hometown. It took everything in him not to become jaded and he wasn't sure that he had succeeded completely. The only ties that had held him to California had been his small, albeit nice, apartment and one on again/off again relationship that Edward would never allow to be 'on' ever again.
Tanya had been the clichéd California girl. Blonde, tall, tan and gorgeous.
But that was all.
She had no depth and absolutely no conscience. Tanya expected to be catered to and spoiled. Edward had done his very best to keep her happy to no avail. It seemed like every time he got one thing right, there were ten more mistakes that he had apparently made. Tanya looked down her nose at everyone, always. She felt that no one compared to her. On several occasions Edward wondered what he had ever seen in the pretty, strawberry blond woman.
Needless to say, it became tedious and just outright awful to be with Tanya.
So after breaking all bonds with his quintessential valley girl and coming to the rather startling revelation that he would never be happy in California, Edward had looked into his options. With an outstanding offer from the University of Washington to complete his Masters and after finding an amazing apartment close to the campus – Edward renegotiated his lease, shipped the few belongings he simply couldn't part with and was returning home for the first time in years.
A bright, wide smile stretched across Edward's face. He couldn't wait.
…
The drive was long and boring, but Edward didn't mind. He knew he wouldn't have to make it again and that seemed to make it completely worthwhile. He hardly stopped on the way, only when his bladder screamed in protest or his stomach rumbled its discontent, would he pause his journey.
For some strange reason, Edward couldn't shake the odd dream he woke from that morning. With the never-ending expanse of road stretching out before him, he had too much time to allow his thoughts to wander. The memory danced on the edge of his conscious and he couldn't shake the feeling that there was something there. Something he was missing.
Edward also felt a pang in his chest when he remembered the pretty brown-eyed girl from his dream. Bella Swan had been his best friend for as long as he could remember. Until they reached high school, that is. Edward was aware that many childhood friendships didn't survive puberty and adult responsibilities.
Still, Edward found himself feeling a deep melancholy surrounding the fact that he knew nothing of Bella's life now. He wondered if she was still the same sweet girl he remembered. If she still looked at the world through innocent eyes, always seeing the good in everything. It had been one of the things Edward liked most about her and now, with the ever-expanding hollow feeling that resided in his chest, he felt a flash of jealousy that his childhood friend had always seemed so happy and carefree.
Why couldn't he have that? When had he lost his joy? Where could he find it?
A dry chuckle escaped Edward when he realized he was coveting something that very well may not exist anymore. Bella most likely had lost her childlike wonder as well and was just as jaded as he. He wouldn't know. He hadn't spoken to Bella at any length since high school.
Edward was startled when that thought caused a sickening sour feeling to erupt in his stomach. He chastised himself for his childish behavior and directed his attention to his iPod. It would do him no good to dwell on things that couldn't be changed, and with that thought he found a playlist that would hold his attention for the last stretch of his drive.
Much like he had a million times before, Edward pushed aside the feelings that rested deep within the confines of his heart and turned a deaf ear to their pleas.
He simply had no time to deliberate on such odd and immature things.
…
The winding drive that led to Edward's childhood home glittered with twinkling lights and Edward found that he couldn't contain his grin. He had missed this place. He missed his parents and the sense of comfort they brought him. Edward felt a small measure of relief from that gnawing, uncomfortable feeling that settled in his chest a long time ago.
He was home.
Esme Cullen was beside herself. She heard the gravel crunching under tires and couldn't contain her glee. With a squeal and a wide smile, she rushed outside to welcome her only child home. It had been too long. When her son's car came to a stop, it took every ounce of her strength not to race down the steps and crush him in a motherly hug. Instead Esme clasped her hands together and smiled brightly at her baby boy.
Edward didn't miss his mother's anxious behavior. He knew that she had missed him; missed having him home. As he parked his Volvo, he pondered how long it had been since he returned home. With a bit of a start, Edward realized it had been at least three years. His classes and responsibilities had made the trip more of a burden than anything else and Edward had begged his parents to come to him after Thanksgiving of his freshman year.
That hollow ache in his chest thumped once more as Edward watched a beautiful smile spread across his mother's face. It was easy to see that Edward hadn't been the only one missing something or someone.
"Oh, Edward," he heard his mother gasp as he climbed out of his vehicle. He shook his head and sent a small, rather embarrassed smile to his mother.
Esme could wait no longer, her arms ached to wrap around her son. The last time she had seen her son was over his summer vacation where he had seemed so sad and lonely. Tears pooled in her eyes as she flew down the stairs and met him with a warm embrace.
"Oh, how I missed you," she gasped as Edward's arms slid around her delicate frame.
Edward was surprised to find himself battling against tears as well. He hadn't cried in what seemed like forever. In fact, he was certain it had been while he was still in high school when his grandfather had passed away.
"I missed you too, Mom," he whispered while holding onto his mother tightly. Edward felt shaken and he didn't like it all that much.
Esme let out a watery chuckle before pulling back and staring up at her boy. She wasn't surprised to see that his gorgeous jade eyes seemed dull and flat, she had been watching the spark within them dim for years upon years. It didn't make it any easier to swallow though.
"Sorry to bum rush you, sweetie. I'm just so excited to have you home," she murmured sweetly while pulling away from their embrace with a wink. "C'mon, let's get out of the cold. I'm pretty sure there's a plate full of your favorite cookies waiting inside."
Edward's impish grin and quick pace made Esme feel lighter than she had in a while. She had missed his happiness more than anything else.
…
Lying in his bed later that night, Edward couldn't quite pinpoint exactly what he felt. He was happy to be home, that he knew. He had enjoyed catching up with his mother and when his father returned home from his shift at the hospital they enjoyed a wonderful dinner, filled with laughter and high spirits. What Edward couldn't understand though, was why the very same thing that filled him with such warmth and happiness also made him feel an ache deep in his gut.
He had hoped being back in Forks would fix that miserable feeling. To be fair, he wasn't nearly as miserable as he had been for as long as he could remember, but still…
It felt like something was missing.
Edward didn't like it. He didn't like it at all.
…
Many faces smiled around him, but Edward couldn't seem to find the same youthful exuberance as his fellow graduates. He had several things he still needed to do. He hadn't finished all of his packing yet, he needed to get the oil changed in his car for the long drive ahead and he knew that his parents wouldn't allow him to skip the celebratory dinner they had planned.
All that and several other things that were weighing heavily on his mind left Edward with a moody disposition. He wanted the pomp and circumstance to be over so he could finally start living the life he wanted. But alas, life isn't fair and Edward had at least two more boring speeches about life and the pursuit of happiness to sit through.
After Principal Greene finished blathering on about how this was the most important time of the graduates lives and introduced the valedictorian for her speech, Edward's spirits lifted minutely. Bella Swan stood at the podium with a smile and blushing cheeks. Edward couldn't remember the last time they had spoken and for one brief moment he mourned the loss of their close friendship. He couldn't dwell on that any longer though, because Bella had started her address and he didn't want to miss it.
"I've struggled with how to start this speech for quite a while now. I mean, who really wants to hear: My fellow graduates, faculty and esteemed guests…blah blah blah? I know I wouldn't. So instead I'll start with this:
This is only the beginning.
Yes, that might sound trite and clichéd, but it's true.
For the past twelve years we've been following someone else's schedule, abiding by someone else's rules and living life by someone else's plan.
We don't have to do that anymore. This moment, right now, is the beginning of our journey. Whatever we do, where ever we go…it's all up to us.
It's up to us to make it worthwhile. It's up to us to be what and who we've always dreamed of. It's up to us to live. Truly live and make each and every second count."
Warm brown eyes met soft green eyes for a brief moment, long enough for the pair to share a small smile, before she finished.
"Don't lose yourself in the hustle and bustle of the 'real world.' Remember where you came from and those that mean the most. Dream. Dream some more. And then make those dreams come true.
Because if you don't, no one else will.
Good luck and congratulations."
And while his fellow classmates celebrated by throwing their caps in the air, Edward stood and made his way out of the crowd. He had too much to do, too many loose ends to tie up. He hugged his parents and accepted their word of congratulations and pride with a smile and didn't look back. He didn't need to cheer and awkwardly hug half of his graduating class. Edward knew exactly what his dream was and he was ready to make it come true.
…
Unlike the morning before, Edward found himself slowly awakening. The scent of cinnamon invaded his senses and wiped away any memory of his troubling dreams. His limbs felt warm and heavy and for the first time in a long while, Edward felt content.
That wonderful feeling lasted until breakfast was finished and his parents had left to start their busy day. The house seemed too large and way too quiet. Edward felt restless and adrift. He wandered the house aimlessly; he was unsure how to settle himself. Eventually his feet led him to his piano and Edward stroked the shiny black surface that covered its ivory keys with reverence.
A spark of excitement flared within Edward, it had been too long since he played just to play. Edward struggled to remember the last time he simply lost himself in his music for no other reason than to just enjoy it. He wasn't sure what that meant, but brushed it aside as he sat down on the bench.
Edward played for hours. Still in his pajamas and sleep rumpled, he lost himself in the music and slowly but surely, the uncomfortable weight that had settled against him, lifted somewhat. He felt more centered and peaceful than he had in ages. When his fingers pressed against the last chord and the house fell quiet once again, Edward promised himself that he wouldn't wait as long to play for himself again. He had missed it almost as much as he had missed home.
After a long shower and a quick lunch, Edward once again found himself feeling anxious. He knew he could laze around and watch television or read one of the several books that he'd been meaning to get to forever, but he felt too keyed up. Instead, he slipped into his shoes and grabbed his keys. Edward hoped a little fresh air would help settle him.
…
It only took fifteen minutes for Edward to remember there was very, very little to do in Forks. Nothing had really changed, it seemed. Well, with the exception of Old Lady Cope changing up her lawn decorations from flamingoes to those creepy looking gnomes.
Exciting.
Unsurprisingly, Edward found himself pulling into the Thriftway. There really wasn't anything else he could do at the moment and Edward figured now was probably the best time for him to purchase the few things his mother wouldn't have. Like beer and maybe a couple of frozen pizzas so he wouldn't have to expend much energy for lunch. But definitely the beer.
As he slowly made his way through the store, Edward found himself searching the faces that passed him by. He knew the majority of them, of course, but he didn't feel the need to strike up a conversation. Even when he passed Tyler Crowley and Mike Newton, two of his old team-mates. In fact, he even turned his body away from them when they turned down the aisle he was in.
It didn't make sense to Edward. Wasn't one of the things he had looked forward to when he thought of returning home, to reconnect with his friends? Didn't he want that small town connection? Just when he decided to call out to the two men, a warm voice rang out behind him.
"Edward? Is that you?"
He turned to find himself lost in a familiar brown gaze.
"Bella," he smiled. And his smile widened when she grinned back at him.
"Your dad told me you'd be in town this year," Bella said as she took him in. It had been so long since she'd seen him, but she could see that he wasn't happy. His usually coke-bottle green eyes seemed listless and dull and there was a crease between his brows.
"Yeah," Edward returned with a nod. "Actually I'm moving back. I'll be in Seattle at UW to get my Masters." He felt awkward and clumsy as Bella's eyes continued to dance across his face. Edward felt like running away, scared of what she might see. Would Bella perceive his return to Washington as a failure? Did it really matter if she did or not?
"Oh, that's great!" She said warmly. Bella meant it too. Her mind fluttered to Esme and each time they had run into one another. Esme always spoke with quiet pride about Edward, but missed him greatly. Bella thought it was wonderful that he'd be so much closer to home. "Your parents must be really excited. I know they missed you."
Bella's genuine smile disarmed Edward momentarily. He wasn't used to having personal conversations with people. Most of his friends in California only cared about classes, or their jobs or what party they might attend on the weekend.
"Oh, uh, yeah…they seem to be," he stuttered. Bella smiled at his awkward reply and he struggled to regain his balance in the conversation. "And I'm happy to be back, but I kind of forgot that there isn't much to do around here."
"Yeah, it can take some getting used to when coming back from a big city, huh?" Bella laughed. "Don't get me wrong, it's not like I live it up when classes are in session or anything, but it's nice to have a coffee shop or bookstore on every corner so you don't die from boredom." They both laughed but after it fell away they both found themselves in an uncomfortable lull.
Edward didn't know what to say, but he knew he didn't want to stop talking to Bella. He had nothing else to do and the thought of heading back to his parent's too-quiet house was loathsome. He wracked his brain to find something, anything to say to keep the conversation flowing.
"So…" he mumbled, "what are you shopping for?" Edward nearly smacked himself for his piss-poor attempt to draw their conversation out.
Bella didn't mind. She could sense that he was a little on edge and could only guess that he felt a little out of place after being away for so long. Sure, things felt a little strained and awkward between them, but Bella could think of no better time to try and catch up and rekindle the friendship she once shared with Edward.
"Oh, well it's really exciting stuff," she started while widening her eyes comically. "I'm on a very important mission to locate the ingredients for chocolate chip and gingerbread cookies. It's highly dangerous, you understand?"
Edward couldn't help but bark out a sharp laugh while he nodded at her serious expression. He watched as her lips twitched and slow smile started to creep across her lips.
"You want to keep me company?" Bella asked kindly and Edward found himself agreeing without much pause. It wasn't like he had anything else to do.
The pair spent the next hour slowly making their way around the store while catching up. Edward asked Bella what she was studying. Early childhood education with a minor in psychology. She questioned him on California, but he kept his answers short and clipped and Bella quickly let the subject drop. Edward had forgotten how perceptive and kind Bella was.
He found it incredibly refreshing.
By the time they made it to the cashier to purchase their items, Edward realized he didn't want leave Bella's company just yet. At the same time, he had no earthly idea how to keep her with him for a little longer. As Edward scoured his mind for an excuse, Bella's attention had been stolen by the Angel Tree a few feet from them.
Usually she paid them very little attention, but this year the tree looked so full. Bella couldn't spy more than a couple spare branches. It made her heart ache just a bit, the thought of so many children having so very little at Christmas.
Coming up empty handed for a reason to continue spending time with Bella, Edward let out a long sigh. He could feel the uncomfortable melancholy setting back in before he chanced a look in her direction. Edward was completely caught off guard by the desolate look upon Bella's face. He swept his eyes around them quickly; trying to discern what it was that had made her look so sad, but came up with nothing.
"Bella?" he questioned softly. "Are you okay?"
She startled slightly at Edward's gentle voice and turned her attention back to him, somewhat sheepishly.
"Yeah," she whispered before clearing her throat. "Yeah, I'm fine. I was just…" unable to find the words she wanted, Bella motioned to the tree. "There's just so many."
Edward's eyes danced between Bella's troubled gaze and the tree for a few moments before abandoning his cart and making his way towards the tag covered tree.
"What is this for, exactly?" He asked her quietly, his serious tone matching the sadness he could still see in her eyes.
Bella chewed on the inside of her cheek for a moment before answering.
"Um, well if I'm not mistaken, I think the parents of underprivileged kids fill out what their child needs or wants and the person that takes the card buys the things listed," Bella's voice grew softer as Edward made his way around the tree, looking at several of the tags. She couldn't decipher the look that crossed Edward's face at one of the cards. "Edward? What is it?"
After swallowing thickly, he removed one card from the tree and handed it to Bella. She took it without question, but gave Edward a worried glance.
"Read it," he whispered.
Name: Jacob Black
Age: Five
Size: 5T or extra small
Three things wanted for Christmas: A hockey stick. A model car. A friend.
Bella's watery eyes and the heavy feeling in Edward's stomach decided exactly what they would do and it came with the added bonus of having a reason to spend a little more time together.
…
"I wonder if he's local," Edward mumbled while reading over the card again.
After putting back his frozen pizzas while Bella paid for her cookie supplies, they met back up at the entrance of the store. Edward proved to Bella that chivalry wasn't dead by taking her bags and following her to her car.
After a few good natured jabs about her old truck, which had sadly met its tragic end a few years before, Edward ran back to his Volvo and followed Bella down the familiar roads to her father's house. They were both excited to get started on Jacob's Christmas, though Bella's happiness is what really motivated Edward.
Of course the plea for a friend had tugged on Edward's heartstrings. He was no Ebenezer Scrooge. Still, he had wanted to find something to do with Bella and if he could spend time with her while helping a little boy have a happier holiday, well, then…it was a win/win scenario.
That's how he ended up sitting at the table in Bella's kitchen, flipping Jacob's small card in his hands. Bella said she needed to make the cookies before they went anywhere else and he didn't argue, choosing to watch her flit about the small kitchen and think about the task they had taken on.
"I don't know," Bella mused. "But I bet my dad would know if he was. I mean, you can't be a very good Chief of police if you don't know the name of your locals, right?"
Bella tossed a look at Edward over her shoulder while her hands kneaded her ingredients together and he gave a short nod in agreement. While Bella turned back to her task, Edward worried his bottom lip as he lost himself in thought.
They both seemed to jump at the sound of a car door slamming, having been off in their own world. Bella scurried to wash the cookie gunk off her hands so she could welcome her father home with a hug, while Edward sat up a little straighter, not wanting the Chief to think he was a slob.
Charlie Swan hadn't seen Edward Cullen in at least six years, if not more, but he'd never forget that riotous mop of penny-colored hair. Ages ago, his sweet little girl called it pretty hair while a young Edward would scowl but stay silent. Charlie knew him to be a good kid; responsible, kind and mild-mannered, so it didn't worry him all that much when he strolled into his kitchen and found Edward sitting at his table. His baby girl welcoming him home with a warm embrace probably helped his mood quite a bit as well.
"Well if my eyes aren't deceiving me, I'd believe Edward Cullen has returned home," the Chief grinned and Edward felt himself smiling in return. Edward stood and shook Charlie's hand after Bella had returned to her cookies.
"How are you, Chief Swan?" Edward asked amicably. He remembered the Chief to be a kind, if not quiet, man.
"Now, none of that. Call me Charlie, kid. It's not like you're a stranger," Charlie's easy words pricked at that hollow feeling in Edward's chest. It was true, he wasn't a stranger, but it had been years since he'd last seen or spent any time with Bella or her father.
"Okay. How are you, Charlie?" Edward corrected.
"Good, good. It's been nice having Bella home for the holiday. Lord knows my stomach sure does agree," the older man quipped and his daughter laughed while shaking her head. "How's California been treating you?"
Edward tried to hide his grimace, he really did, but he could tell he failed by the way Bella quickly redirected their conversation.
"Oh, Dad, I nearly forgot!" she exclaimed, catching both men off guard. Bella offered a sheepish smile, while her cheeks heated, "Has anyone new moved to Forks recently?" She asked with a much softer tone.
Charlie tipped his head in thought, before looking at his daughter with questions in his eyes.
"Not that I'm aware of, why?" he asked, ever the investigator.
This time Edward jumped to Bella's aid, realizing that her blush had grown and her father was staring her down like he was a man on a mission.
"We took a kid's name off the Angel Tree at the Thriftway and we were wondering if he was local," Edward explained calmly, smiling when Charlie relaxed from his Papa Bear stance.
"Well hell, Bells, why didn't you just say that?" Charlie questioned as if she had lost her mind.
"Because regardless of why I was asking, I wanted to know. And you would've told me even if I was on the hunt for cute boys. I'm a grown woman, Charlie," she punctuated her last three words by stabbing the air in his direction with a cookie-dough covered spoon.
Edward couldn't help but find Charlie and Bella's stare-down amusing. He could remember Charlie telling them both, even when they were innocent children, that Bella would always be too good for any mere mortal. It seemed that time had not changed the Chief's perspective in the slightest and Edward found himself agreeing with the older man.
Bella was something special, she always had been. This time that strange twinge in his chest throbbed so acutely that Edward had to rub his sternum to alleviate the ache.
After a long moment, Bella broke her father's gaze with a well-placed huff and roll of her eyes.
"I was asking because we have five year old boy that we're going to help and we just wanted to know if you knew him," Bella said while leveling her father with another look. "His name is Jacob. Jacob Black."
"Oh," Charlie whispered. Both Edward and Bella redirected their attention to the Chief at his somber tone. "Yeah, the Black's are local. Not from Forks, but La Push."
Bella, ever observant, quickly placed her cookies in the oven before taking the chair between Edward and her father.
"Daddy?" she questioned quietly. Bella was unsure as to why she used that childlike term of endearment for Charlie, but knew instinctively by his tone that whatever he was about to say wouldn't be pleasant.
Charlie was usually a very stoic man. It was something you had to be when you were the Chief of police. But this boy's story could make the hardest of hearts soften, even if only a little. Charlie roughly scrubbed his cheeks with his hands before looking up at the kids he cared for so much.
"Well, Billy and Sarah both grew up here, but moved once they finished high school. I think Billy's in his mid-thirties. Anyway, about six months ago they were living up in Sequim and had been out celebrating Sarah's birthday. I guess it had been raining and the guy driving the other car was drunk…" his words trailed off momentarily as he watched both Edward and Bella's face twist with horror. When Charlie continued, his voice was just a whisper. "Sarah was killed on impact and Billy was paralyzed from the waist down. Jacob didn't get a scratch, but he was there and saw it all. They moved back here once Billy was out of the hospital. He's Harry Clearwater's cousin. You remember Harry, don't you Edward?"
Edward nodded in the affirmative, afraid to try to speak. His stomach rolled with nausea and he had to swallow hard to keep his emotions in check. Bella had no such control and silvery tears steadily made their way down her cheeks.
"That poor boy," she whispered rubbing the spot over her heart.
"Yeah. He's had a rough road to travel, but you guys wouldn't believe what a trooper that kid is. I don't think I've ever seen anything like it. Well, not since you two were kids anyway. Jake's got a real good heart but it's been broken pretty badly. I'm glad that if anyone got his card, it was you two. I know you'll do right by him," for once Charlie's words weren't awkward or stilted. He really did know that the pair in front of him would do everything in their power to help that little boy. Especially his Bella. And Edward might not have been around as much as he was when he was still just a gangly kid, but Charlie knew that boy. He knew his heart, even if Edward himself didn't.
Jake would have a wonderful Christmas, Charlie thought. Bella and Edward would make sure of it.
…
The kitchen was silent after Charlie dropped that knowledge at Edward and Bella's feet before taking a Vitamin R from the fridge and making his way toward his television. Two minds whirled and swirled at the monumental task before them. Jake was a little boy that was hurting. It was his first Christmas without his mother. And it was now their job to make sure that it was something special.
"We have to do something," Edward whispered fervently. He didn't know what, his mind was still trying to wrap around everything they had been told but he saw Bella's fierce nod in agreement.
He couldn't help but watch her while she stared down at the linoleum floor vacantly. She had her bottom lip sucked into her mouth and her fingers drummed restlessly against the counter she was leaning upon. Edward knew that she was thinking through their options, he had seen this particular face many times before, even after they had drifted apart. Bella Swan was a problem solver. He had no doubt that she would come up with an answer quickly.
As if Edward's faith in her was exactly what she needed, Bella took a deep breath and met his eye.
"He wants a friend, Edward," her voice was soft but strong and fiery determination burned in her eyes. "We're going to give him what he wants and then some."
Edward couldn't help but grin at the woman across from him as a happy warmth tingled through him.
Not more than twenty-four hours ago, Edward had talked himself out of feelings of jealousy and anger, assuming that time had changed Bella Swan. That she would be just as jaded, if not more so than he was. Edward didn't know if he would ever be as happy to be proven wrong as he was in that moment.
…
The next day, Edward woke up to his cell phone ringing.
"I'll be home for Christmas…"
Although, to be fair, Edward didn't know it was his phone at first.
"You can count on me…"
He blearily glanced around his room trying to locate the source of holiday cheer. Edward wasn't feeling very cheerful at the moment.
"I'll be home for Christmas…"
When his eyes finally spied the lit display of his phone, he grabbed at it quickly, still debating whether he would answer or not.
"If only in my dreams."
Bella's name flashed steadily across the front and his mind was made up without another thought.
"It's not very nice to change someone's ringtone without advising them of it, Swan," he muttered groggily by way of saying hello.
"Good morning to you too, Grumpy McGrumperson," Bella's happy voice chirped through the receiver and Edward couldn't help but smile.
"To what do I owe the pleasure, Bella? And at," he glanced at the clock on his bedside table. "Seven-thirty in the morning, no less?"
Her laughter was warm and throaty. Edward liked the sound of it. He liked it very much.
"Today is day one of Operation Merry Christmas!" Bella exclaimed. She and Edward had discussed what they could and couldn't do at length the day before, both coming to the conclusion that if they really wanted to give Jake what he needed, they would have to speak to his father. Bella had taken that responsibility on herself, getting the number to the Black residence from her father and making the call once Edward had left.
She had never heard a man so grateful of a just a little kindness in all her life.
With that squared away, she placed a couple more calls, because somehow she understood this wasn't just about Jacob. Edward needed this too; he needed to believe in the magic of Christmas and the good in people.
It was Bella's mission to help both of them, because if she didn't, who would?
"Is it now?" Edward's tone was easy and light and it made Bella smile. "And what, pray tell, are we going to do on this special day?"
"I'll fill you in on the way. Can you be ready in thirty minutes?" Bella asked kindly. Edward absolutely adored the fact that she really was asking and would change her plans if need be; not demanding and coarse like Tanya had always been.
"Sure, I just have to shower and grab a quick bite to eat," he responded while swinging his legs over the side of the bed. Edward rubbed his eyes with the back of his free hand to rid them of sleep and stretched his tight joints. "I'll most likely be ready in twenty."
"No need to eat, that's part of the plan. I'll see you soon, Edward."
…
Bella arrived right on time to pick Edward up and sent his parents a friendly wave before she pulled away from the house once more.
"So what's the plan?" Edward asked while taking in the interior of her car. It was clean and smelled like laundry fresh from the dryer. Edward decided he like it much better than the pseudo fruity smell that most girls chose for their air freshener.
"Well first, we're going to pick up Jacob," Bella smirked. "And then we're going to breakfast. After that, I thought we'd head up to Port Angeles and have a little fun."
"His dad's okay with us taking him that far?" Edward didn't want to rain on Bella's parade but if she hadn't confirmed these plans with Billy Black, she'd most likely be disappointed.
"Of course, Edward," Bella huffed good-naturedly. "I spoke with him last night. Not to mention that you can't get much safer than the Police Chief's daughter, unless it's the Chief himself."
Edward could only nod with a hum of agreement. Her words were true.
"Plus I figured being in Port Angeles would give us a chance to shop for his presents as well. Two birds, one stone and all," Bella shrugged with a smile before making the turn that would lead them down to La Push.
A nervous feeling shot through Edward, he wasn't sure how many activities Bella had planned, and suddenly the idea of killing two birds with one stone didn't sound all that appealing. For some strange reason, Edward wanted to spend as much time as he could with Bella. He didn't know why. He only knew that he enjoyed being around her, he enjoyed her warmth and easy smiles. Edward didn't want to let that go.
The car slowed to a stop outside a small house with a handicap ramp. An older Native American man, seated in a wheelchair, was waiting on the porch. Bella and Edward shared a brief look before climbing out of the car and making their way over to introduce themselves.
"Bella. Edward," Billy welcomed while shaking their hands. "I don't think I can thank you all enough. My boy, well…he's a good boy and he deserves to be happy right now."
Both Bella and Edward waved off his thanks, but before either of them could say a word, the screen door opened and a young boy ran outside.
Jacob Black was a small kid, but what he lacked in size he made up with personality. His dark brown eyes shimmered with childlike mischief and he had a bright smile that could warm even the coldest of hearts. Jake had been unable to quell his excitement since he woke up this morning and his dad had told him that he'd be spending the day with some friends of his.
To tell the truth, Jake had assumed he'd be spending the day with Harry and his daughter again, so he was more than a little surprised to see the pretty girl and tall guy.
"Jake," his father called. "This is Bella. She's Chief Swan's daughter."
Bella couldn't contain her grin when Jake blushed and stuttered a greeting.
"H-hi, Miss Bella." Jake thought she had to be the prettiest girl he'd ever seen.
"And this is Doctor Cullen's son, Edward." Billy concluded.
"'Sup, dude?" Edward asked, feeling charmed by the young child. He extended his fist and smiled when Jake's little one bumped against it.
"'Sup." Jake returned, feeling kind of grown up and cool. He liked this Edward guy.
Bella glanced at Billy, before shifting her attention to Jake. She really hoped that he'd want to go with them today and that her plans wouldn't fall flat.
"So Jake, Edward and I were going to go out to breakfast and then head up to Port Angeles for the Christmas Festival and we thought it might be fun if you came with us. Would you like that?" Bella's smile was warm and her eyes sparkled with just a touch of mischief, much like Jacob's did.
Jake's eyes bounced between his father, Bella and Edward a couple of times before he bit his lip and nodded excitedly.
"Will there be a parade?" He asked.
"Oh yeah, little man. A big one," Edward assured.
"And will Santa be there?" Jake had started to bounce in place a little, causing the adults around him to chuckle.
"Of course he will," Bella told him seriously. "He has to make sure he gets everyone's wishes in before Christmas Eve."
Jake nodded somberly at Bella and Edward had to bite his cheek to hide his smile. Edward was almost positive that Bella could tell Jake the sky was purple and that unicorns lived in the tree-tops and Jake would believe her. It was kind of cute.
After giving Billy their cell numbers and getting Jake strapped into his booster seat, they were on their way. Edward didn't realize that his entire world was about to change and that he'd never be the same.
…
"Hey, Jake? Which do like more, waffles or pancakes?" Bella asked while peeking at the small child through her rearview mirror.
Jake tapped his lips and scrunched his forehead while he thought it over. Bella hadn't meant for it to be a serious question, but she found his deep consideration entirely endearing.
"Well, waffles usually come with all different kinds of toppings and that makes them really yummy, but you can get chocolate chip pancakes and chocolate always wins," Jake intoned seriously. "Pancakes." He decided and Edward laughed loudly while nodding in agreement.
"Ya know what, kid? I like the way you think," he supplied, winking at Bella when she grinned at him.
Forks Diner wasn't the classiest establishment in the world, but their breakfast was to die for. So it was no surprise that the trio eagerly made their way to a booth and started poring over the menu. Jake was set on his chocolate chip pancakes and asked for bacon and hot chocolate to drink. Edward ordered the same, giving the little dude another fist-bump for his excellent taste. Bella shook her head at the boys and ordered waffles with a warm blueberry topping and a cup of coffee. She knew instinctively that caffeine would be necessary for the sugar rush Jake, and most likely Edward, would experience after their breakfast.
When they were about halfway finished with their food, the bell over the door chimed and a loud voice boomed through the air.
"If I didn't know any better, I'd swear that mop of hair belonged to Edward fuhhhreaking Cullen," Emmett McCarty grinned good-naturedly. Edward was startled by his appearance, but smiled nonetheless. He hadn't seen Emmett since the last track meet of their senior year.
"Hey, Em," Edward said extending his fist once again. He couldn't help but notice the small crease between Jake's eyes and the sullen set of his jaw as he did so. "This is Jake," he nodded in the boy's direction, smiling when Emmett turned and gave the boy's fist a bump as well.
"What's up, little dude?" Emmett asked with no small amount of softness in his eyes. Edward was shocked when he noticed the gold band on Emmett's finger. He couldn't help but wonder what else he'd missed while he was in California.
"We're going to a Christmas festival!" Jake answered excitedly. "Bella and Edward are taking me and I get to see Santa Claus and there's going to be a parade and we got chocolate chip pancakes!"
Emmett's eyebrows continued to climb towards his hairline as the little boy rambled on, getting louder with each word, but his easy-going smile never faltered in the slightest.
"Where's Rose?" Bella asked after Jake's attention had returned to his breakfast.
"Working," He chuckled. "Apparently Alice woke up a little under the weather and someone had to be there for the kids, ya know?" Bella nodded in the affirmative while Edward tried to understand what he'd just heard.
"Alice Brandon? Whose kids? Is Rose your wife?" Edward hated that he didn't know these things, but once again chalked if off as growing up. The excuse rang false in his mind this time as his eyes drifted to Bella. She was an adult. Mature, kind, giving. She still had connections with people from her childhood. Yes, she had the advantage that Emmett was her cousin but Alice; well Alice had been the one that replaced Edward as her best friend. That was entirely on Edward's shoulders as well; he had been the one to pull away from everyone and everything.
"Alice Whitlock, actually," Bella provided with a smile.
"Yeah. She and Jazz got married, what, two years ago, Bells?" Emmett questioned.
"Yep. Met at UW. Love at first sight and all that," Bella remarked off-handedly, turning her attention to Jake, whose face was now covered in sticky syrup.
"Jazz," Edward mouthed in confusion.
"And I met my Rosie there, too. We got married last year," Emmett supplied helpfully. "She runs a daycare here in town." Edward nodded while his head swam. "Anyway, Bells called last night and told us you were in town and I really wanted to go with you guys today, but there was just no way. We're free tomorrow evening though, how about a bonfire down at First Beach?" Emmett glanced between Bella and Edward while waiting for a response. The burly man noticed Jake's wistful expression and amended, "Little dude, too. Wouldn't be half as fun without ya, man."
Even if Edward or Bella had plans, there was no way they would have been able to say no after that.
"Really?" Jake's eyes sparkled with excitement. "Oh, man, that's awesome! We can go right? I mean, you guys wanna go right? I'm sure my dad would let me go with you. Can we? Please?" He even stuck out his bottom lip in a pout to try and sway them.
Edward looked at Bella, who was fighting laughter with all she had. She gave him a small smile and questioning shrug.
"Yeah, Em. That sounds awesome. We'll be there."
…
After finishing their breakfast, the trio began their trek to Port Angeles. Bella had her iPod plugged in but turned down low so it didn't impede upon conversation.
"So you wanna teach music?" Jake asked Edward while swinging his feet back and forth. Bella couldn't help but grin at the little boy, his innocent charm was impossible to resist.
"Yes," Edward answered cheerfully. He had twisted in his seat so he could see both Bella and Jake easily. "I've loved music for as long as I can remember and decided there would be nothing better than to make it my job."
Bella knew all of that, of course. She could remember when Edward first started taking piano lessons and how excited he was. She could also remember when he decided that California was the only place he could make that happen and how much he had changed afterwards. Bella knew that Edward felt he had let his father down and had often wondered if that was why he had been so adamant about moving away and completely removing himself from the life he had in Forks.
The holiday music Bella had playing softly was the only sound in the car for several long moments before Jacob spoke once again.
"My mom wanted me to take piano lessons," the little boy mumbled in a sad voice. "I thought it was stupid and said no. I kinda wish I didn't now."
Edward swallowed hard and looked to Bella, who was worrying her bottom lip with her teeth. What could they say to that? Edward certainly didn't know.
"Could you teach me, Edward?" Jake asked in such a hopeful way that Edward's heart broke a little.
"I'm sure I could, yeah," But he wasn't. Even if he could teach Jake a little, he was heading back to Seattle in a couple weeks and most likely wouldn't be back home until Spring Break. Still, he couldn't tell the kid no. Not when it was something so important to him.
The grin that spread across the little boy's face had Edward deciding that he'd do whatever he could to make sure he learned the piano. Bella stared out at the road-way while trying to fight back tears. It was beyond obvious that Jake had adored his mother, simply by the tone he used when he spoke of her and Edward's selfless offer to help Jake fulfill one of her wishes…well, it was beyond touching.
"We can even start tomorrow, if you want," Edward said while smiling at Jake.
"Would you be there too, Bella?" Jake asked sweetly, his big brown eyes meeting hers in the rearview mirror.
"I wouldn't miss it for anything in the world, buddy."
…
The streets in Port Angeles were busy and crowded. Bella had expected this, but it made Edward a little nervous. They were responsible for Jake's safety, after all. He wasn't a baby, obviously, but still, he was a little kid and could get lost easily. Edward didn't like that at all.
"Oh, wow! Look at all the lights! IS THAT SANTA?" Bella and Edward laughed at Jake's outburst before affirming that it was, indeed, the jolly old elf.
Jake squirmed and bounced in his booster seat, unable to sit still with all the nervous energy running through him. He wanted to see Santa. He wanted another hot chocolate. He wanted to play with Edward and Bella. It had been far too long since Jake was really and truly excited about anything.
"Can we go now? Can we? Can we? Can we?" he babbled with a little too much enthusiasm.
"Of course we can, but you have to calm down, little dude, or you're going to give yourself a heart attack," Edward said as he opened the door and let Jake out of his seatbelt. Bella was too busy laughing at Jake's exuberance to be of much help.
"Listen kiddo, I know you're a big dude and all, but it's really busy around here today and it's freaking me out a little. Would it be okay if I carried you on my shoulders? I know you can walk and all, but I'm just scared we'll lose each other in the crowd," Edward was too busy preparing himself for an argument to see the adoring look Bella gave him. His offer and anxiety over Jake's safety was swoon-worthy.
"Really? You'd do that?" Jake asked in wonder. Edward was a little confused but nodded nonetheless. "My dad used to do that all the time before…" the little boy's words trailed off as his mouth pulled down in a frown.
Edward hated seeing so much sadness in such a little boy, so with forced cheerfulness he ruffled Jake's hair and said, "Then you must be a pro at it. C'mon, we gotta go see Santa."
That did the trick, and within minutes Bella, Edward and Jake were standing in line. Jake babbled excitedly about all the things he wanted to ask Santa for, smacking Edward's head and pulling his hair intermittently in his excitement. Bella would giggle and snicker with each wince Edward gave, which made him glare playfully at her in return.
The line was really long, but none of them minded. They peppered each other with questions while they waited, a lot of them directed at Jake. They asked what his favorite color was. It was blue. What was his favorite sport? Baseball, but he was learning how to play hockey with his cousin Seth and he really liked it too. Favorite food, favorite super hero…by the time it was Jake's turn to talk to Santa, Bella and Edward knew pretty much all of his favorite things.
Bella and Edward stood off to the side waiting, while Jake sat on Santa's lap. Bella bumped Edward's shoulder with her own and looked up at him with bright, playful eyes.
"Hey, Edward?" She questioned sweetly. Edward couldn't help but smile back at her.
"Yes, Bella?" he responded while mimicking her tone.
"Do you still believe in Santa?" she whispered before sneaking a glance towards Jacob who was still talking excitedly with the man in red.
"No," Edward answered truthfully. "I'm pretty sure Waylon ruined that for me years ago."
"Butt-crack, Santa!" Bella laughed. "Yeah, that was pretty awful."
"Why? Do you still believe in Santa, Bella?" he teased.
"No," she said, whispering again. "But I believe in the magic of Christmas."
Edward's mouth felt dry all of a sudden and an uncomfortable sensation settled into his gut.
"Must be nice," he mumbled before looking away from her too-kind eyes and softly frowning lips.
Edward's melancholy words hit a spot in Bella's heart and made it ache. She wasn't sure why exactly, but they did. Bella had many memories of a young Edward that was always so, so excited for this time of year. His mother would bake them cookies and they'd play in the wet snow for hours. His parents would take them both out to pick out toys for the kids at the hospital. Edward would play Christmas carols on his piano on Christmas Eve and they'd exchange presents while drinking homemade cider.
Bella couldn't imagine that boy growing up into such a listless man.
"What happened to you?" Bella asked, too quietly for Edward to hear.
…
Edward remained quiet while Jake posed for his picture with Santa, but smiled when the little boy finished and ran towards Bella and him.
"Whoa, Hoss. Where's the fire?" Edward laughed as Jake wrapped his arms around Edward's legs.
"What's a 'Hoss', Edward?" Jake asked while scrunching his face in confusion. Bella snorted out a laugh as Edward picked him up and placed him on his shoulders.
"Ya know, I'm not really sure," Edward said as they made their way to the photo kiosk. "My dad used to say it to me all the time."
"I think it's something cowboys used to say," Bella added helpfully while looking at Jake's pictures. "I like that one," she murmured to the clerk. "Three copies, please."
Edward pushed Bella's proffered money back and handed the clerk his debit card, ignoring the scowl Bella sent his way. "So Jake, what did you ask Santa for?"
"Oh, you know, the normal stuff," Jake mumbled distractedly. Edward followed his eyes and saw that Jacob was watching people ice skate in the mobile rink set up down the street.
"Normal stuff?" Bella laughed, after taking the pictures and thanking the workers.
"Yeah. You know, a Wii, a hockey stick, games…other stuff," Jake shrugged. At that point Bella noticed his distraction and grimaced slightly at the sight of the rink.
"You want to go skate?" Bella asked grudgingly. She knew she'd probably make a complete fool of herself, but she wanted this to be a day that Jake would never forget and maybe she could make Edward smile too. A few instances of total mortification would be worth it, she thought.
"Can we?" Jake asked with bright eyes, tugging on Edward's hair again in his excitement.
"Ow," Edward muttered quietly.
"Sure thing," Bella winked at Jake. "Hoss."She added with a wink towards Edward, who rolled his eyes but smiled despite himself.
…
They spent the next hour and a half skating, falling and laughing. Well, to be fair, Bella did most of the falling, but according to Edward she did it with style. And she had. The seat of her pants was drenched from the many butt-to-ice encounters and she was lucky she had on a puffy coat because she went sliding across the ice on her chest more than once.
Each and every time she fell, Edward would make his way over and help her back to her feet. Jake would ask if she was okay before continuing on. Edward, ever the gentleman, held her hand for the last thirty minutes they stayed on the ice, unwilling to let her actually hurt herself. Bella was the first to throw in the towel, muttering about hypothermic asses and bruised tailbones.
To make up for her less than cheerful behavior on the ice, Bella offered to get hot chocolate for everyone and both boys eagerly agreed. While Bella made her way to the nearest vendor, Edward helped Jacob get out of his skates.
"Edward?" Jacob questioned quietly.
"Yeah, bud?" Edward responded off-handedly, still focusing on untying Jake's skates.
"Do you think Bella's pretty?" Jake whispered while his cheeks lit up with a blush that had nothing to do with the chilly wind. Edward's startled chuckle was a loud and uncomfortable sound. Jacob didn't notice of course. "Do you?" he insisted.
"Uh…yeah, um, Bella's…really pretty," Edward murmured while rubbing the back of his neck. When Jake nodded in agreement, Edward went back to work on his skates.
"I think she's the prettiest girl in the world," Jake said softly a few moments later and Edward chuckled. He thought it was kind of cute that the kid had a crush on Bella. He could only imagine how deeply she would blush if Jake told her that himself.
"She is pretty amazing," Edward agreed, pulling off the small boys skates and handing him his shoes.
"Are you going to marry her?" Jake asked innocently. Edward choked on nothing before looking at the boy incredulously. "You should marry her, Edward. Before someone else does."
"Look, Jake," Edward started but struggled for the rest of his words. "Bella and I…we're not…well shhhnickerdoodles, Jake, she's just my friend."
The little boy looked at the older man in front of him and shook his head sadly. Sometimes grown-ups were stupid and Jake was sure Edward was stupider than stupid for not marrying Bella.
…
The next two weeks flew by all too quickly for Edward. After that first day with Jake, he really couldn't get enough of the kid. Yeah, he was a handful at times but he was also really sweet and earnest. He reminded Edward of himself when he was little, always eager to try new things and easily swept away by things he enjoyed.
Jake was a natural when it came to piano. He wasn't a prodigy, by any means, but he was a fast learner. And determined. In what seemed like no time at all, Edward had taught Jake to play an elementary version of Greensleeves and Jake's whole being would light up whenever he was praised for it. The boy had almost brought Edward to tears when he asked if Edward thought his mom could hearit in Heaven.
Edward assured him that she could.
Edward rekindled his old friendships over those two weeks as well. Thebonfire the night after Bella, Edward and Jake went to the Christmas Festival started off awkwardly. At first, Edward felt out of place among the close-knit group of friends. Sure, Edward had grown up with Bella, Emmett and Alice but he had left those friendships behind many years ago and was unsure how to jump back in after so much time had passed.
As it turned out, he didn't have to. Alice introduced him to her husband Jasper, Edward was still not sold on his nickname of Jazz, but he got over it. Emmett introduced him to Rosalie, who was beyond gorgeous and knew it, but also had a heart of gold. As a whole, the group peppered him with questions about Berkeley and his studies in Music. They asked about his plans in Seattle and if he knew what he wanted to teach.
Edward answered the questions about California hesitantly, still feeling like a failure for not making it work. He had no issue talking at length about his wishes to teach music, however. He told them that he really wanted to teach younger kids, like Jake, but that he was getting his Masters, just in case. They all understood his worries over the current job market and Bella even agreed, stating she was doing the same with her degree.
Bella. Edward was confused about all things Bella. The pair had seemed to pick up right where they had left off so many years ago. They spent pretty much all of their free time together, granted it was usually in the company of Jake, or because of Jake, but Edward couldn't complain. He enjoyed getting to know the woman Bella had become and slowly opened up to her as well.
Edward wasn't at all surprised to find that Bella was just as warm and caring as she had always been, if not more so. He helped her bake cookies for Charlie and his deputies, they bought some toys and took them to the kids in the pediatric ward of his dad's hospital, but it went beyond that as well. Many times, after dropping Jake off with his dad, they'd go back to Bella's or his house and just talk.
Edward couldn't remember the last time someone just sat down and had a real conversation with him.
At first, being the patient and considerate person she was, Bella avoided talking about California all together. She'd bring up music or movies and they would chat for hours about what they liked, disliked and couldn't understand.
Neither of them understood Lady Gaga.
Slowly but surely, however, Edward began revealing little things about his years away from Forks. Finally, just a couple nights before, Edward had broken down and told Bella everything.
He hated California. He hated the way everyone there put on an act. He hated the smog. He hated that it never felt like home, no matter how hard he tried. He hated that he felt like a failure for not making it work, but most of all, he hated that he pushed away all of the people that really mattered for a misguided dream.
Bella had listened to him rant and rave for what felt like hours. She was patient and unassuming. She didn't jump in and tell him where he went wrong and she didn't take his side. She just listened.
Edward kind of loved her for it.
When he had finally finished purging himself of his demons, and had slumped down into one of his mother's oversized chairs, Bella spoke.
"Edward, you know you're completely full of shit, right?"
Bella was honest, too. Edward liked that as well, even if she was calling him out on his brooding emo-bullshit.
She had gone on, answering her own question.
"Because if you think following your dreams makes you a failure, well, you're either stupid or completely full of shit. So what if California wasn't the Land of Milk and Honey like you thought it would be? You still got into the school of your dreams and succeeded there. You got your Baccalaureate from UC – Berkeley, do you realize how big of a deal that is? Do you know how many people would kill to have made it that far?"
When he didn't respond, Bella had moved to kneel on the ground in front of him.
"And so what if you wanted to come back home? It's not like you came back home because you quit. You got into UW's Masters Program and you're going to finish what you started. How the fuck is that failure? Please, tell me, because I'm not seeing it. All I see is a guy who worked insanely hard to make his dreams come true, and to me, that's a success."
Edward had stared hard at her for several long and quiet moments, before finally averting his eyes.
"And what about you? And Em? And Alice? I figured out what I wanted to be when I grew up and left you guys behind. Who does that to their best friends? What kind of person does that make me?" he had whispered pitifully. It was something he had struggled to answer time and time again since running into Bella.
Everything seemed so easy. Everything felt so effortless. Surely he could have remained friends with the brown-eyed beauty, and everyone else for that matter, without them being a distraction. Edward knew for a fact that they would have cheered him on; they would have been there for him.
He felt like he didn't deserve them now.
"It makes you human, Edward. So you made a mistake. Big deal. It's not like we're holding it against you. I'm not holding it against you. You had a plan, you followed that plan and it still lead you back to us eventually. I'm not seeing the problem." Bella punctuated her words by grabbing both of his hands and squeezing them between her own. "I'm really glad to have you back now. Better late than never, right?"
Edward simply shook his head and gave her a small smile.
"You're not like anyone else, you know that right?" Edward laughed as Bella preened comically and batted her lashes.
"What can I say? I'm awesome."
Edward couldn't help but agree. Bella was amazing. She was the whole package: smart, funny, beautiful, compassionate, sweet, lovely. There wasn't much Edward could fault her with, that was certain. She was stubborn, but she'd always been stubborn and usually only in instances that called for it. Edward often found himself wondering if he could fault her for just being too nice; too desirable.
He had decided that no, no he could not.
Still, Edward was confused. His feelings for Bella were muddled and murky. It was more than just friendship. Edward knew this because people don't fantasize about their friends during their showers and people don't dream about their friend's hair splayed out across their pillow.
There had been several moments over the past two weeks that made Edward believe he wasn't alone in his confusion: Cuddles on couches, embraces to keep each other warm while out in the cold, holding hands just because. A few times when Bella looked at Edward a certain way, he was almost sure she wanted him to kiss her. He hadn't of course.
He still wasn't exactly sure why he hadn't, other than the thought that she deserved so much better than him.
The only thing Edward was sure of was that he would not let anything come between the two of them again. He could recognize a gem when he came across one, and Bella was definitely a treasure he wanted to keep.
Edward's eyes drifted over to the jewel case laying on his nightstand. He and Bella had promised not to spend anything on each other for Christmas, seeing as they both had gone a little overboard buying for Jake. They were supposed to meet at Harry Clearwater's tomorrow night, Christmas Eve, and were going to sneak his presents into Billy's room before the party.
Edward really wanted Jake to think Santa brought him everything he wanted. Being around Bella had revived that part of him that loved the magic of the season. He didn't want Jake to lose that just yet.
But Edward had to do something for Bella, so he spent his nights composing and would be giving Bella her very own song for Christmas.
He could only hope she liked it.
…
Jake was beyond excited that evening. Harry's house was overflowing with people, and the majority of them were Jake's friends. Bella and Edward, of course, but also their parents, plus Emmett and Rosalie, Alice and Jasper, and a lot of the people from the reservation.
Jake loved it. The past two weeks had been the happiest he'd had in a long time. Of course he was sad that both Bella and Edward would be leaving in a couple weeks for Seattle, but they had both promised that they would come back during their breaks and visit. Jake loved his new friends; he didn't care if they were older than he was or if Edward was stupid for not wanting to marry Bella. They were his friends and he loved them.
Everyone was settling down in the living room to pass around presents and Jake sandwiched himself between Edward and Bella on the floor. Like any kid, Jake loved presents, but Santa had already given him something he wanted more than anything else.
When Bella and Edward had taken him to see Santa, Jake had asked for the normal things like he told Edward, but he'd also asked if he could keep both of them as friends. He loved the way Bella made him laugh and took care of him and Edward was so cool and always made Jake feel like he was important. He didn't want that day to be last time he saw them. He told Santa that and the old man had whispered that he had nothing to worry about.
He really didn't. Bella and Edward really loved the little guy and would do anything for him; all he had to do was ask.
Once everyone was ready, presents were handed out. Jake had moved to the center of the room and was practically buried under a mountain of gifts. The adults in the room laughed as he yelled in excitement with each new uncovered treasure. Bella had given him the complete Harry Potter collection with a promise to read as much as they could before she left for Seattle. Edward had given him an electronic keyboard, so he could continue to practice and learn while he was gone. Alice and Jasper had given him lots of clothes and though Jake thought that was kind of a crappy present he thanked them profusely nonetheless. Emmett and Rosalie gave him every board game imaginable and Emmett had made Jake promise to play them with him often.
On and on it went, Esme and Carlisle gave him a small iPod loaded with music he loved, Charlie gave him a small fishing pole and told the little boy and his father that they had a standing invitation every Sunday if they wanted. Jake felt like the luckiest little boy in the world and quietly wished he could give them all something in return.
As the excitement died down, Jake noticed Bella and Edward exchanging presents quietly across the room. He watched as Bella opened hers, revealing a CD case before she looked up at Edward in confusion. Jake didn't know what Edward whispered in her ear, but worried when he saw a tear run down Bella's cheek. He really liked Edward and all, but you don't make girls cry. It's just wrong.
The small boy breathed a sigh of relief when Bella hugged Edward fiercely and he couldn't help but shake his head. Edward looked like he won a million dollars as he returned Bella's embrace. How could he not love Bella and want marry her and have babies and all that stuff people in love do? Jake just couldn't wrap his head around it. Again he thought something might be wrong with Edward's brain.
Jake continued to watch as Bella handed Edward his present and shook his head when it revealed what looked like another book. Jake really did love Bella, but books? What was it with the books? The little boy was kind of shocked to see that Edward almost looked like he was about to cry when he opened it. What was it with grown-ups? Weren't presents supposed to make people happy?
"It's a photo album," Jake heard whispered behind him. He looked over his shoulder to see Esme talking to Emmett. "She came by a couple days ago and asked if I had any pictures of the two of them that I'd be willing to part with." Jake was horrified to see that Esme looked like she was about to cry, too.
"Why can't they see it?" Alice whispered.
"See what?" Jake had responded without thinking.
The women shared a guilty glance, but Emmett simply answered the young boy.
"Those two have been joined at the hip for as long as I can remember, Jake. When we were your age, they refused to go anywhere or do anything without the other. And now, it's like nothing ever changed, they're right back to that but they don't see it. It makes me want to smack some sense into them," Emmett laughed softly.
Jake thought about what he said for a minute.
"They love each other don't they?" He asked with all the innocence of a child.
Alice and Esme laughed while Emmett shrugged.
"It sure does look that way, doesn't it?" And Jake had to agree, it really did look that way.
Jake thought about it while he cleaned up his mess. If Edward and Bella loved each other, or even if they just like-liked each other, why wouldn't they do something about it? Jake thought if he really liked a girl he'd just kiss her and that would be that. He knew that's what usually happened in the movies when a boy liked a girl. They kissed, got married and lived happily ever after. What was so hard about that?
Once the room was picked up, everyone started making their way to the kitchen for dinner. Jake watched in confusion as several of the couples would stop and peck each other on the lips as they passed through the doorway. He looked back over to Edward and Bella; they were cuddled together looking through the photos and laughing. Pursing his lips, Jake looked back to the doorway.
He saw the little green bundle hanging there, but he had no idea what it meant, or why everyone kept kissing under it. That wouldn't do, so he quietly asked Esme about it.
As she explained, a slow, almost devious smile lit up Jake's face.
…
Not very long after Esme explained that the green clump hanging in the doorway was Mistletoe and the tradition of sharing kisses under it, Jake had run into the kitchen. He knew he had to get Bella and Edward under that stuff. They would have to kiss if they were under it, and then they'd fall in love and owe Jake forever.
He may have had a daydream or two about trips to Disneyland to repay the favor.
Esme chuckled under her breath when she heard Jake yell.
"Edward! Bella! Come quick! There's a reindeer in the kitchen!"
Subtle, he was not.
Edward and Bella shared an amused glance before getting to their feet. Esme had to smile at how much of a gentleman her son was, offering his hand to help pull Bella up and keeping his hand on the small of her back while leading her towards the kitchen.
Then when the pair was standing just beneath the tiny Christmas decoration everyone heard Jake scream.
"STOP!" The little boy was bouncing on the tips of his feet with a bright smile only a few steps away.
Edward and Bella could only stare at the boy in confusion after he had nearly scared them to death.
"Dude," Edward whispered while shaking his head. Bella only laughed, wondering what the mischievous little boy had up his sleeve.
"Look up," Jake grinned. He was proud of his plan. They couldn't break Christmas tradition, that was a given.
A few snickers could be heard from the living room as Edward's eyes widened. He refused to believe his little buddy would set him up like this. It was like he hadn't thought about kissing Bella and doing other not so innocent things to Bella, but here? Now?
Bella on the other hand found the whole thing highly amusing. Their friends had questioned her feelings for Edward, several times over the past two weeks, and Bella would be a liar if she denied them. As such, she had simply avoided the question.
Sure enough when the pair looked skywards, a clump of mistletoe hung innocently over their heads.
Bella couldn't contain the snort of laughter that escaped her and buried her face in Edward's shoulder. Edward simply continued to glance between the holiday decoration and Jake's proud smirk.
"You two have to kiss now," Jake stated happily. "It's tradition. Esme told me so."
Esme's giggle could be heard from the living room and Edward knew the whole house was listening to the comical situation occurring in the kitchen. He refused to look and see if they were watching, Edward was pretty certain they were.
Jake watched as Edward rubbed the back of his neck with his free hand, the other still resting on Bella's lower back. Bella was still laughing quietly, with her face hidden in Edward's shoulder. The little boy was getting impatient. They were under the mistletoe and they had to kiss now. It was that simple. So he did the only thing he could think of to make them just do it already.
He pouted.
"Are you going break Christmas tradition, Edward?" Jake asked sadly while sticking out his bottom lip and making it quiver slightly. Edward swallowed dryly and glanced at Bella from the corner of his eyes. She was looking at him already, a rosy blush painting her cheeks.
"Well are you?" Bella whispered while her pulse quickened.
"Bella," Edward breathed. "Are you sure?" He wasn't against the idea per se, but he knew he didn't want to make her uncomfortable. As if it had a mind of its own, Edward's body turned towards Bella's and the hand that had been self-consciously rubbing his neck reached out to cup her cheek.
"Just kiss me, Edward," Bella barely whispered already lost in his intense emerald gaze.
Edward needed no further persuading, he had wanted this anyway. With all the tenderness he could muster, Edward lowered his mouth to hers. Gently, so very gently, he brushed his lips across her own and barely contained a gasp when a shot of warmth flooded through him. Bella's lips were so soft and Edward felt like a fool for not kissing her before. Had he known it would feel like this, no one would have been able to stop him.
Bella was of the same opinion. The tenderness in Edward's kiss was enough to set off a stampede of elephant-sized butterflies in her belly and it made her want more. Her lips were busy molding to Edward's so couldn't exactly tell him, but she could show him. Bella ran her hands up from their resting place on his chest over his shoulders where she tangled them in his hair. His barely audible moan was enough to fan the flames of her courage, allowing her to sweep her tongue gently across his lips begging for entrance.
Edward was a smart man, because he immediately granted her silent request. She tasted like peppermint and chocolate, and in the back of his mind, Edward knew that the one wish he'd made this Christmas had been granted. He knew, with just one taste of Bella's sweet lips that he'd never be able to get enough. He knew, deep within his heart, he'd never be able to let her go.
As the couple in front of him lost themselves in each other, Jake smothered a giggle. He had meant for them to kiss, yes, but it looked like they were barely keeping themselves from eating one another's face. Jake didn't know if that was normal or not, but he couldn't argue. They looked happy and that's all he had wanted anyway. With one last look and another smothered laugh, he made his way past them undetected. Even at his age, he knew when two adults needed privacy. Plus, the smacking noises were kind of gross. Jake briefly worried that he might have created a monster with his little plan, but shook it off.
Everyone knew a well placed gagging noise would break up two rambunctious adults more quickly than a bucket of ice cold water.
Eventually a sense of decorum managed to squirm its way into Edward and Bella's consciousness and their kiss slowed. It was hard to pull away though, so the pair continued to exchange several soft pecks before Bella buried her very warm face in the wide expanse of Edward's chest.
"Wow," she whispered breathlessly.
Edward could only nod in agreement as he ran his fingers through her hair. Wow, indeed. Even with all of his self-reflection over the past two weeks, Edward had never known exactly what he was missing. This woman, still firmly wrapped in his arms, was everything Edward could have ever hoped for. She was kind and sweet. She loved her family and friends with her whole heart. She was forgiving and warm.
Edward wasn't sure he could ever be good enough for her, but he knew, without a shadow of a doubt, he would always strive to be. One kiss had changed everything for him. He wanted her more than he had ever wanted anything in all his life. More than Berkeley. More than California. More than music.
Edward didn't know you could want a person like that. He didn't know that when you met the other half to your whole, that everything else in the world paled in comparison. Edward couldn't have guessed that his other half had been within his grasp since he was a child.
With a hum of contentment and a tender kiss to Bella's forehead, Edward allowed his cheek to rest atop her fragrant curls. Here, in this moment, he had everything he could have ever dreamed of. A slow, happy smile danced across Edward's lips then. Perhaps there was something to the magic of Christmas, after all. Edward knew he wouldn't have the woman he held in his arms without it and he decided then that he believed in it too.
As long as he had Bella, he had all the magic he never knew he needed in his life.
Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays, from me to you!
xo-
One Brave Lamb