A/N: I have to study the NATO alphabet for CAT (Citizen Army Training). What better way to memorize it than writing a drabble for each letter?


Alpha

"Grrr…"

"San, stop growling at it."

"My—my—grrr—alpha female feelings Britt—grrr."

"Please. I dominate you in bed."

"Not—grrr-help—grrr-ing."

"San, your sexy canine teeth won't work against it."

"I—grrr—know."

"San?"

"Grrr?"

"Run!"


Bravo

"Bravo Santana! That was an excellent rendition!"

"Thanks Berry. Just don't let Brittany hear that."

"I—why would you say that."

"I caught you staring at my ass in that 70s suit. I think she did too."


Charlie

"I don't like the way he's looking at you B."

"Who, Charlie? He's the pizza guy, San. We flirt with him like all the time. We've never had to pay for a pizza in years."

"He looks at you like Quinn looks at bacon."

"You're the only one who'll get to see my pepperonis, babe."


Delta

"…so delta V's the potential difference? God B, how'd you do this?"

"Just go through your notes a lot San. And, like, remember that its value's proportional to the charge."

"B, if anyone calls you stupid again, I'm a go all Lima Heights."


Echo

"Britt? (Britt…Britt…)"

"Yeah, San? (San…San…)"

"D'you know there's this myth about the echo? (echo…echo…)"

"I do now (now…now…) Why? (why… why…)"

"It's just really sad (sad…sad…) Hold me? (me…me…)"

"I'll never let you go (go…go…)"


Foxtrot

"Finn, Rachel, are you ready to show us the steps?"

"While we are sufficiently practiced with the foxtrot, Mr Schue, I believe Brittany and Santana would be much better at demonstrating the dance in its entirety."

"Rach, most of us are boy-girl couples. I don't think they ca—"

"What do you mean, Finn? My fathers have been teaching young couples in our synagogue the art of the tango for years."

"That's the jewish church, right?"

"(Sigh.) Yes Finn. As I was saying, Mr Schue, they'd be the perfect candidates to demonstrate this dance."

"(Gulp.) Okay, Rachel. Brittany and Santana, would you take the honors?"

"Thanks, Berry."


Golf

"Glad you're finally here Santana."

"Tina? You're a lesbian too?"

"Not all golfers are lesbians San. Let's get you a club and see how you work the green."

*mumbling* "I'm only here because Britt thinks the getup is sexy."*/mumbling*

"What?"

"Nothing."


Hotel

"B, a hotel? This room? You didn't have to go through all this."

"It's my girlfriend's birthday and I don't go through all the stops? Unforgivable."

"Did I ever tell you how much I love you?"

"About a million times a day San. Now let me show you how much I love you by checking out how sturdy that counter top is."


India

"I think that guy's monkey tried to poop on me."

"He's an Untouchable B. India's caste system's awful. And like once you're born into it, the only way you get out is when you die. I mean, it's a lot better now, but still."

"Usually, you turning on your nerd turns me on, but that's really sad, San."

"Hey B, I brought you here to show you something. See that?"

"Wow. Is that the Taj Mahal?"

"Yeah."

"It's better than the pictures. That's saying a lot."

"The emperor, Shah Jahad, he built it for his wife Mumtaz Mahal when she died. He was super depressed and everything, and, I don't know B. It's just like, like it's love you know? It's his love for her that made this."

"That's beautiful San."

"I love you B."

"I love you too."


Juliet

"You got the wig?"

"Yeah Britt. Why the hell are we doing this?"

"It's Juliet Capulet, Mercedes. Uh, Angelica. And we have to get back at Sebastian Douchebag for slushying San."

"Uh…what's the plan then? Last I remembered, Smythe's as gay as a circle."

"No, we don't seduce him. We seduce the Crawford Country Day girls. Then we run through Dalton with them chasing after us, and we head for Lord Doucheyness and they swallow him up in a wave of humanity."

"…girl, what if that doesn't work?"

"Hmmmm. I'll think of that when we get there. Come on!"


Kilo

"A kilo of tomatoes, please."

"Santana, when have you ever used please?"

"When I talk to people deserving of respect. Now shut your mouth, Hummel, before I refuse to make guacamole for this sleepover."

"I hardly consider that as a threat, Santana."

"You will when you consider the fact that your girl Jones has a liking for my guacamole."

"Well…it is heavenly."

"Damn straight it is. Now where are the jalapeños?"


Lima

"I mean, why would they even name a coffee house after a lima bean? It has nothing to do with coffee!"

"I think it's cause we're in Lima babe. Plus, coffee's made out of beans, right? So, like, lima, bean, Lima Bean."

"But like, do they even serve something lima bean related? There's a Lima Bean Blend out there, I researched."

"I highly doubt that it's made of lima beans, S. Why are you so stressed out about this anyway?"

"Well, Fabray, you and the rest of the club seem to prefer the Bean over Breadsticks, when obviously, the latter is the better choice. Case one, the choice of name. I mean…"

*whispering* "Guys, just let my girlfriend win for once, okay?"*/whispering*


Mike

"…and she says Mike Wasowski and my heart dies a little every time. WHY PIXAR? WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS TO ME?"

"(Pap shoosh.) It's okay babe."

"WHY BRITT? WHY? AND AT THE END, AND, AND THEY JUST LEAVE AS WITH A 'KITTY' AND A 'BOO' AND A CLIFFHANGER? WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT."

"There's a prequel coming out in 2013."

"BRITT BABY HOLD ME."


November

"It's been a year, Britt. She's still not talking to me."

"She'll come around babe. And if she doesn't, she's not the woman you thought she was."


Oscar

"If we get a boy, can we name it Oscar?"

"I—what?"

"When we have a family, San. Duh. So, Oscar? Like, when you get one when you win for Best Actress or something in the future, you'll have two."

"How'd you say asdfghjkl; in real life Britt?"

"That's something from the website without the 'e', right? Tumblr? I think you say it like what you just said."

"I love you. And hell no, we are not naming our kid Oscar."


Papa

"Papa Lopez?"

"Yes Brittany?"

"Don't tell Santana, but, may I ask for your daughter's hand in marriage? In advance, I mean."

"Brittany, after you saved her from falling of that bridge, I'd give you my wife if you wanted. Don't tell Maribel though."

"(Laughs.) Thanks, Papa."

"Even if I said no, she'd probably elope with you. You guys own each other's hearts and souls."


Quebec

"Vous êtes chaud."

*whispering*"What the hell is he saying?"

"He's saying 'you're hot', but, like, in French."

"When were you so good at French, Puckerman?"

"Hey, chicks dig foreign languages."

"Lucky we brought you to Quebec, then."

"Where's your girl, Lopez?"

"I do—"*/whispering*

"Santana!"

"Hey babe."

"Je t'aime."

"Britt, the only French I know is the kissing type."

*whispering* "It's 'I love you', dummy."*/whispering*


Romeo

"O Romeo, Romeo! wherefore art thou Romeo? Deny thy father and refuse thy name; Or, if thou wilt not, be but sworn my love, and I'll no longer be a Capulet."

"More feelings, Girl Chang!"

"Santana! You're back from California! Where's Brittany?"

"She got held up in Berkeley. She'll be here tomorrow. By the way, my boy Abrams says you got back together?"

"He—he told you that?"

"See your stutter's back, Lucy Liu. Boy Chang's Britt's best dude and all, but you look good with R2-D2."

"Thanks Santana."


Sierra

"You're a natural at this, Brittany. Not everyone can climb Sierra Madre Oriental."

"Thanks, Steve. You think I can bring my girlfriend here next time?"

"Is she scared of heights?"

"Uh…let me get back to you on that."


Tango

"Ms Corcoran?"

"Yes Brittany?"

"I have some ideas for the choreo at Regionals."

"I've heard that you're excellent at dancing, Brittany. Sure, show them to me."

"One condition though: I get to dance with Santana in the tango part."

"Sure Brittany. From what I hear, separating the two of you is a sin of the highest degree."

"Thanks, Ms C. So, the first step goes like this…"


Uniform

"Damn guys, why'd you have to rejoin the Cheerios? I forget what you look like out of the uniforms."

"I don't know whether to be flattered or creeped out, Trouty."

"Sam, do you think it's weird that Sugar's style's like a weird mash-up of mine and San's? Like her fur and my general awesomeness? Sorry babe."

"Now that I think of it, it does. And she's like a weird mash-up of you guys, like Santana's bitch with your awesome weirdness."

"Hey guys, I'm still here."

"I tried mashing up your faces in that facebook app? It looked a lot like Sugar. I was freaked out. Like she's that guy from Back to the Future. The one with the DeLorean."

"…I'm making a time machine with my dad's DeLorean."

"Oh my god Britt. Babe, Fish Lips, we need to keep an eye on Richie Bitch."


Victor

"And the victors are…the Cheerios, from McKinley High, Lima, Ohio!"

"I knew we stayed in this uniforms for something!"

*whispering* "You up for some victory sex, babe?" */whispering*


Whiskey

"Only good thing (hiccup) about Lucky (hiccup) is his stash of Irish whisky (hiccup)."

"That's (hiccup) mean San (hiccup). Remember when he (hiccup) gave me those Snicker (hiccup) bars?"

(hiccup) (hiccup)

"And he actually (hiccup) thought you (hiccup) thought they were LTs (hiccup) shit? Yeah."

(hiccup)

"Oh (hiccup) yeah. Pass me (hiccup) another glass, why (hiccup) don't you (hiccup) babe."


X-ray

"I swear, Britt, Bethany did that on purpose. It fucking hurts."

"San, let's just wait till your dad gives us the x-ray results. You're pain threshold's sort of low."

"Santana?"

"Yeah, dad?"

"I can't believe you drove all the way here for a bruise."


Yankee

"I still have no idea why people are so stressed about this game. So the Yankees beat the White Sox. Big deal, who cares?"

"Babe, not a lot of people care about breadsticks like you do."

"Shut up."

"Anyway, last time you held a bat, you hit three balls at once. I think Finn's eyes are still watery. I was so proud of you."


Zulu

"Britt, I can't believe your dad actually got us on a zulu boat!"

"What can I say Sam, my dad's got connections."

"Trouty, I always knew you were close to our aquatic brethren, but I never dreamed of you geeking over a boat."

"Hey, if Kurt can dream about cars, what stops me from this hunk of a babe right here?"

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