Nico couldn't imagine his father being too happy to see him after their last embarrassing encounter. He figured Hades would just ignore him until he decided to leave or something. Being swept away from his destination immediately after materializing threw him completely off balance, and he tumbled into his father's throne room on his hands and knees. "What the fu-" he spluttered, head spinning. "Hello, Father."

"You couldn't even spend a week up there? I couldn't get one week off?" Hades asked, annoyed. "Most gods only have to deal with their kids a few times in their lifetimes!"

"I couldn't stay at camp," he mumbled, "Percy and I had a fight and I didn't want to deal with him. And nobody made you call me here! I would have been perfectly fine on my own." Nico leaned against the back wall, glaring at his father in a way that surely would have gotten anybody else vaporized.

"Given the circumstances of our last meeting, I felt obligated to make sure you were… coping."

"Why?"

"Why did I want to make sure my only son wasn't still planning on killing himself?" Hades retorted, voice dripping with sarcasm. "You really aren't the sharpest sword in the armory, are you?"

Nico hung his head, trying to ignore the tears prickling his eyelids. "Come on Nico, think. Adolf Hitler, Stephen Akinmurele, Vincent Van Gogh- you're hardly the first of my children to become suicidal." Hades leaned back in his throne, taking in his son. He was a scrawny little thing, not at all what most would call attractive. His left eye drooped and his hair looked like it hadn't been washed in days, let alone combed. His clothes were old rags and he really should have gotten braces years ago. Compared to his brothers' kids, Nico could be described as little more than a joke. "But you are the first I've had a chance to help."

Nico blinked, accidentally allowing a tear to escape, but Hades either didn't notice or chose not to say anything. Okay who am I kidding, of course he noticed, he's a fucking god, for Christ's sake. "So who was that kid you were talking to in New Orleans?"

It seems like your tongue always chooses the most inconvenient moments to swell to twice its size. It certainly did for Nico, which made choking out, "You mean Percy?" much more difficult than it needed to be.

"Don't try to be smart, it's embarrassing for both of us. The one you played the stupid card game with."

Nico internally cursed himself for being so pale. The blood that rushed to his face was most definitely apparent to anyone who happened to be within a five-mile radius. "Oh, him… that- that was Anubis. The god. From Egypt. He's in charge of funerals."

Hades rolled his eyes. What happened to the good old days when every other man you saw was shacking up with a dude on the side? "Okay," he said. He just hoped this wasn't why his son decided to take the plunge. "Guy's a major pushover."

"I thought he seemed cool," Nico challenged.

"You just spent hours straight playing a card game," Hades jested, "You're dismissed."

Nico stalked back to his room in the palace, pondering his father's words. He hadn't thought anyone would really miss him if he died. Well, not until they needed another undead army to back them up, but they probably had at least a month until another hothead tried to take over the world. He arrived at his extravagant quarters and flopped down on the king-sized bed. The black and burgundy velvet comforter tickled his bare skin.

He thought about how his father yanked him through his kingdom to save him, an exhausting feat at best. He thought about how Percy followed him across state lines to make sure he was safe, how Anubis sat with him for hours teaching him how to play the greatest game in existance. With a jolt, he remembered one other person who'd miss him, who had been missing him for a while.

It had been weeks since Nico visited Bob. After they started getting close Nico let slip something he'd never told another being. He hadn't seemed disgusted or angry or even surprised, but Nico still couldn't bear to show his face to him again. Now though… somehow, after meeting Anubis, and talking to his dad, and everything else that had happened in the last few days, liking guys suddenly didn't seem like that big of a deal.

Bob's quarters in the Underworld were obviously far less lavish than Nico's, so the towering obsidian corridor walls were replaced with neverending white, one wall discernible from the next by nothing but touch. Nico ended up with a concussion the first time he made the journey. When at last he reached the blood-red door with a calligraphic Bob engraved in the center, he didn't even bother knocking before bursting in and greeting the titan with a real, full smile- his first one in days.

"Nico!" Bob cheered, "Why have you been away so long?" Normally Nico would come to visit almost daily. Bob had gotten used to his company, and had spent the last month and a half wondering if he'd done something wrong.

"I had some things to take care of," Nico replied vaguely. Bob was (for all intents and purposes) far too innocent to get mixed up in his stupid drama. He put a stick of spearmint gum in his mouth and, after offering a piece to the titan asked, "How've you been?"

"Lonely," he admitted, declining the gum and making Nico feel guilty. He must have noticed this because he quickly added, "But it was nice! I had plenty of time to think about past me." For whatever reason, Nico had trouble seeing how this was a good thing. It may have had something to due with the fact that "Past Bob" had tried to kill him and his friends last winter. He was relieved, therefore, when Bob confided, "I don't think I like him very much."

"It's not your fault; you were raised like that. I don't think past me would like present me very much either." Nico glanced around the room as he spoke, taking in subtle differences. Bob had gotten hold of an old FM radio, which was set to a smooth jazz station. Nico decided not to ask how it got a signal down there. There were a few fishing magazines on the dresser, and his bed now had an actual blanket. Whatever Bob's job was, he must have been good at it.

"So are you and Percy dating yet?" Bob asked innocently.

Nico, who had plopped back on the bed, almost choked on his gum. He'd hoped Bob would have forgotten or ignored that little tidbit, since he had taken the news like it was nothing. "I-I- uh, no. It- that's not going to happen, Bob. It just. No. Could you maybe forget I ever even mentioned Percy?"

"Do you not like him anymore?" Bob asked, completely unaware that he was internally murdering Nico.

"No, I do, it's just… It was stupid. It never could have worked."

"Why not? I thought he seemed pretty nice. Do you know when he's going to visit, by the way? Or Thalia? They said they'd come see me," Bob added sadly.

"Oh uh…" Nico stumbled, uncomfortable. He'd mentioned Bob to Percy a few times, but he'd always been waved off. He hadn't even seen Thalia since the war. "They've been really busy. Percy's been overseeing things at Camp Half-Blood. It's been a disaster there, and there's been a lot of new campers. He's really overwhelmed with making sure everyone fits in." Lie. Percy's been spending day in and day out making kissyface with Annabeth. "And Thalia's the first lieutenant of the Hunters of Artemis. She's constantly moving around the country, trying to recruit new girls." Or at least that's what Nico assumed they did. Tracking down innocent girls and convincing them to join their legion of the imminently deceased.

"Oh," Bob accepted, looking put out but not angry. Those two had better be grateful he was there to keep Bob company. "So what things have you been taking care of, exactly?"

Nico hesitated. If there was anybody he could trust, it would have to be Bob. And not just because he'd recently had his mind completely wiped and took almost anything you told him at face value. "You know Anubis? That Egyption god?" Bob nodded and Nico continued, "Well we were hanging out earlier today and we… I think he asked me out." Nico smiled sheepishly and bit his lip. He hadn't allowed himself to get excited before, still feeling like scum just for thinking about it, but fuck that he was happy.

"I don't know if I've ever met him," Bob confessed, "What's he like?"

"He's mostly really polite and firm and patient and…" Nico hesitated for a second before remembering who he was talking to. "Bob, he's really cute." He covered the lower half of his face with his hands as if trying to hide his ever-growing grin.

"Is he cuter than Percy?" the titan asked. Percy may not have been his type, but Nico obviously saw something in him.

Nico sat up and continued to chew on his lip. "That's not even a question," he answered quietly. Nobody was as beautiful as Percy. It was like asking if Ares was smarter than Athena.

"It just wasn't meant to be," Bob said soberly, clapping a hand on Nico's shoulder. And while it was one of the most overused, empty cliches ever spoken, it felt right. He tilted his head back to the ceiling, thinking about how stupid he was to have avoided Bob for so long. He could deal with the living for a few more decades if it meant he got to keep talking to Bob. And saving Percy's ass. And giving Hades attitude. And possibly maybe going out with Anubis.