Relaxing at the Onsen

Beautiful. Powerful. Smart. Sexy. Yes, these were the words to describe the kunoichi of the Hidden Leaf Village. Yet, for six of these women currently sitting in the hot waters of a nearby onsen, there were more words needed to describe them fully. They were: Manipulative, crazy, fickle, derange, evil, and of course, troublesome.

Oh how they would kill if an enemy should ever call them troublesome.

"I broke a nail." Inuzuka Karin said as she examined her fingers. "Baka… I should've killed him."

"You tried, remember? We stopped you." stated Hyuga Tenten, her hair worn down instead of her trademark buns. "For some reason, I feel kind of bad."

"Bad? They deserved it!" Karin retorted.

Tenten glanced at her closest friend in the group which was none other than Uzumaki Tayuya. As strange as it may be, Tenten and Tayuya had become friends quite fast and Tenten became one of the few people Tayuya addressed by name. Many people thought it was because they held a secret grudge against Temari.

Many people were right.

"…" Tayuya was quiet before sighing. "Okay, so maybe I should've stopped after the fifteenth shot."

"With what? Your fist?" Rock Sakura asked with a thin pink eyebrow raised.

Tayuya sunk in the water a bit and mumbled, causing bubbles to muffle her words.

"What?" now Akimichi Ino had joined the conversation as she normally did. Tayuya repeated this action. "Sit up, we can't understand you blowing bubbles."

Brown eyes glared at Ino as Tayuya rose from the waters almost completely.

"With my fucking doki Blondie! Kami you're so damn nosey!" Tayuya replied.

"Not that I care," began Sakura, though everyone knew she did. "But what did he do this time Tayuya?"

"I ain't telling so fuck-off Billboard!" Tayuya retorted.

It was no secret that Tayuya and Sakura had their differences since the redhead was dragged back to the village years ago. Mostly they argued over their respective past with Sakura calling Tayuya a snake-whore and Tayuya retorting to how weak and pathetic Sakura was. But since Tayuya and Naruto began dating, the pinkette had turned their arguments towards her former teammate and best friend, particularly whenever the redhead was mad and the blond ended up saddened and/or beaten.

Sakura frowned. "Well you did beat the hell out of one of my friends so obviously he did something wrong."

"She's obviously not going to tell so just stop bugging." Nara Temari said. As norm, she found herself being the 'mother' of the group. "Man you two can be so…"

"Troublesome?" Ino finished with a knowing smirk.

"No! I wasn't thinking that!" Temari lied and terribly at that. She hated the thought of Shikamaru rubbing off on her… Not physically of course. "I was going to say… Annoying."

"Ooh, good one." Tayuya said, Tenten snickering a bit.

"Hmph, I bet it wasn't anything important at all." Karin said.

"Oh really? And how would you know Nympho?" Tayuya retorted.

Karin's brow twitched in annoyance. Despite what the majority of the village thought because of her and Kiba's active sex-life, she was by all means not a nymphomaniac. In fact, if anyone could be called a nymphomaniac, it should be either of the two blondes present as they normally forced their husbands to incorporate some jutsu in their foreplay while Karin and Kiba just went at it like normal Inuzuka men and women.

"Disregarding that," Karin spoke. "I know so because my husband forgot about our anniversary. Now how can you trump that?"

"Neji had me explain to Hanabi what sex and masturbation was. I think my reason for beating him beats yours because we all know that Kiba had just returned from a mission anyway." Tenten replied, sitting up straight as if she was born a proper Hyuga.

Sakura snorted. "Is that all? Lee-kun brought me red roses and-"

"I love red roses!" Ino squealed.

"I know." Sakura said dryly before returning her glance towards Tenten. "And he commented on my forehead in front of my mother!"

Tenten sat quietly for a moment. No one but Ino and Tayuya got away with commenting on Sakura's forehead and sometimes Ino was not so lucky if the pink-haired jonin was angry. Tayuya got away with it because no matter how strong and frightening Sakura got, Naruto would never let anyone mortally wound Tayuya. Not Tsunade, not Madara, not Kabuto, not Sasuke, and definitely not Sakura.

"Huh… And here I thought forcing Choji to eat healthier was a pain in the ass." Ino stated offhandedly.

Now it was Tayuya who snorted in laughter.

"Yeah right. That fat ass will never eat healthy food. Hell, I have a better chance getting Naruto to stop eating that damned ramen!"

"Take that back!" Ino replied quite childishly.

"Fuck. No." Tayuya answered slowly.

"And to think, I snapped on Shikamaru because he had another mission that required Shiho…" Temari said with her eyes closed. The other women looked at her expectantly knowing that the once short-tempered blonde had more self-control now. "Oh, I beat him because he told me to shut up."

"So glad I married Lee." was all Sakura said and Ino nodded as well considering out of all of the women in their group, Lee and Choji were the least likely to say that to anyone off the battlefield.

"Come on Tayuya, tell us what he did." Tenten said. Tayuya only turned her face away from the other women, her nose in the air. "Please tell us. We'll get dango tomorrow. My treat."

Tayuya's brown eyes met Tenten's for a moment as she considered the deal. If ever a proper analogy for Tayuya's like for dango, it went something like this:

Dango is to Tayuya what ramen is to Naruto. No other description needed.

"I can't." was the redhead genjutsu user's initial response.

The weapon mistress frowned. "What? Why not?"

"I have an appointment for…" The other women, especially Karin and Ino, leaned towards Tayuya as she dragged her words. "My…" By now Ino and Karin were practically breathing down the Uzumaki matriarch's neck. "…Get the fuck back." They did but still leaned forward. "Pregnancy."

"Holy shit."

The group turned to the normally proper and prim Aburame Hinata who was running late due to a mission. They all stared at her in shock as the words left her mouth. Little Hinata, as Tenten referred to her in a teasing manner, using such language was a rare thing to behold.

"S-sorry." Hinata blushed as she got into the warm waters in-between Tenten and Sakura. "Forgive me for my tardy. Shino-kun tells me that you six 'beat your husbands senseless' again."

"Damn straight." was Tayuya's response.

"They deserved it." Karin said. "Every single one of them. Well, I don't really know why Tayuya did it, but the rest of us had a reason."

"The bastard had me explain to the hag about the baby after he promised he'd take care of it!" Tayuya shouted.

The, now six, other women all visibly cringed. It was no secret of the mother-son relationship that the Hokage had with Naruto. In fact, one could call Tsunade a little overbearing. While she was all up for Naruto getting married (a bit objective to Tayuya though) she was a little skeptical about the knucklehead having kids now. So any woman, wife or not, had to be pretty stupid to march into the Hokage's office, slam her hands onto the Hokage's desk, and state that they were "having your fucking grandchild whether you approved or not." Needless to say that no other woman would have done this, but Tayuya did it this way.

She now regretted it.

As for Hinata, she just sighed. This kind of thing was nothing new to her. Her six friends (yes she was friends with Tayuya as well) all had their problems in their marriages. She was only happy that she had a nearly perfect marriage with Shino. She was still getting used to seeing him without his shades on in the morning.

"If I may," the former Hyuga Heiress began. "But it seems to me that you forget why you love your husbands sometime. And though they may make mistakes, as all humans do, they make mistakes that you should be used to now."

"Says the girl who lies with fleas." Karin remarked.

Ino stared at Karin with a blank stare while Sakura giggled behind her hand.

"You fucking idiot." Tayuya muttered loud enough for Karin to hear.

"I don't lie with fleas! Hana makes sure that Akamaru is clean." Karin retorted as she crossed her arms over her chest. "Besides, Lady Uzumaki, we all know that you and Naruto are going to go back home and settle this like you normally do. By screwing each other's brains out."

"Why you cum-stained nymph-"

"She's right." Hinata's voice came again. "In fact, you all are. And then you'll tell me."

Everyone heard how Hinata said the last bit in an unenthusiastic tone. Then it dawned on the other six that Hinata had secrets about all of them. Secrets that they wanted to know.

"So how does Forehead do it?" Ino asked quickly.

Sakura gaped. "What?! Hell no! We're not talking about-"

"Lee's Eight Inner Chakra Gates." Hinata answered blandly.

Temari absentmindedly licked her lips. "Sounds enticing."

"I always knew you were a freak Sakura. Now I know!" Ino stated with a smile.

Sakura glared at Hinata. "Tell me about Ino and Choji now!"

Hinata sighed lifelessly. "Partial Expansion Jutsu."

Ino smiled proudly. "My baby can grow up to ten times than any of your limp-dick husbands can!"

Karin snorted. "Right… That's why you have him use a family jutsu to get hard."

Ino's jaw dropped as Karin and Temari snickered at Karin's statement. Ino was going to retort until Hinata continued.

"Karin and Kiba use a combination of soldier pills and his Four-Legged Technique. It gives him stamina, wild in the bed and yadda yadda."

While Hinata apparently had no interest in spilling any of their secrets, Karin was blushing madly at the comment.

"Ha! Who's using jutsu to cover flaws now?" said Ino. "Your husband is a minute man! I wouldn't be surprised if that slacker Shikamaru was a better lay!"

"He is." was all Temari stated, her eyes meeting Ino's.

Like Sakura and Tayuya, Temari and Ino also had their differences on Shikamaru and what was best for him. Of course, the lazy Nara normally chose to stay out of it seeing as getting in-between them was "too troublesome" but every now and again he sided with whichever made more sense.

"Uses his shadows to reach unreachable places." Hinata answered the unasked question. "It's like having…" The blue-haired woman blushed a bit as she remembered Temari's exact words. "Two penises on one man."

"No enhancements needed." Temari gloated towards Ino and Karin.

"What about Tenten?" Ino asked, obviously getting more and more ideas to try at home.

Hinata and Tenten glanced at one another before Tenten spoke.

"Eight Trigrams: Sixty-four Finger Strikes. That's all I'm saying."

Ino and Sakura frowned at the statement before Tayuya's eyes widened in realization, only because Naruto had mimicked a maneuver on her like that not too long ago.

"You lucky bitch." Tayuya said.

"I'm lost." Karin said.

Hinata cleared her throat, still blushing a bit. "Well… While the Gentle Fist is normally used for battle, Neji has developed a way to stimulate a woman's pleasure by coating his fingers with chakra and, well, jabbing his fingers into them sixty-four times."

"Instant climax." Tenten said and Tayuya nodded in agreement.

"Maybe I should get Choji…" Ino trailed off before her eyes landed on Tayuya. "Oh this I have to hear."

By now, Hinata's face rivaled that of Karin's hair. While she may be married to Shino, there were times when she had… Fantasies of what life would be like with Naruto. Or at least what a round or two would be like. And with the ever-so-blunt Tayuya giving her details of Naruto's sexual capabilities, Hinata had a fairly good picture of what having sex with Naruto would be like.

And she was jealous.

"Kyubi-fied Shadow Clones." Hinata said quietly.

Ino blinked before pointing. "That's like all of ours in one guy!"

Sakura's shoulders slumped a bit. She should've gotten Naruto when she had the chance.

Tayuya gave Ino a playful wink. "Oh, there's more to that." Ino gasped. "Icha Icha Treasures? Page forty-nine."

"No." Tenten began.

"Fucking." Karin added.

"Way." Sakura finished.

Tayuya nodded. "Yep. That was us."

There was a silence that settled amongst them as the former Sound Four member grinned triumphantly at the other women. Lee had eight gates while Naruto had nine tails. Choji needed to use his family's jutsu while Tayuya was satisfied with Naruto's natural size. Kiba used soldier pills while Naruto was like a ball of limitless energy anyway. Shikamaru used his shadows to reach places on Temari while occupied with something else, yet Naruto could use his Shadow Clones to focus on one particular spot on Tayuya's body while he worked on another. And Neji used chakra to stimulate Tenten's arousal, but Tayuya knew that nothing felt as good as the warmth of the Kyubi's Yang chakra, now that Naruto had full control on the intensity that was released.

But what Hinata had left out was Tayuya's aggressiveness and her use of her Curse Seal. Yes, the Uzumaki household would be filled with little horny brats in no time in Hinata's opinion.

"I think we overdid it…" Karin stated.

Tenten smiled. "What made you change your mind?"

"…" Karin did not say anything, but her blush said it all.

"Nympho…" Tayuya said in a singsong voice.

"Ah what the hell! I'm going home!" Karin said as she left the waters.

"Choji would hate it to find that dinner isn't done…"

"And Lee worries when I'm not there before him…"

"Right. Right. Go." Tenten said to Ino and Sakura. "I have to go home to make sure that… Um… My weapons are polished! Yeah, that's it!"

Tayuya smirked. "Your weapons or his?"

Temari rose. "While you guys have to make excuses, I have to go home because I have a mission for Suna tomorrow and need my rest."

Ino and Sakura grunted, pissed that Temari actually had a real reason to go home.

"Well I'm going to go get a decent fuck." Tayuya said plainly as she rose. "See you tomorrow Tenten."

"Right." replied Tenten.

Poor Hinata watched her friends disperse, leaving her soaking in the waters alone. She hated the thought that each of them would come to her complaining about this and that before going on a tangent and explaining their recent sexual activities.

Hinata found Sakura to be a bit of a masochist since she had conquered Lee's Gate of Rest and was moving on to the Gate of Life. The thoughts of Lee using the same force he used to pound Gaara (no sexual pun attended) during the Chunin Exams on Sakura was a bit frightening. Yet, alluring somehow.

She thought Ino was a genius. The fact that Choji could alter his size to Ino's pleasure at any given moment must have been wonderful for the blonde. Hinata blushed at the thought of Shino pulling that stunt at home…

Her mind then turned to Karin. Inuzuka were always thought to be wild and crazy people in the first place. Giving one a soldier pill and telling them to transform into a beast-like state only amplified the wild and crazy persona. However, during her genin days, Hinata had once fantasized about this, so there was really no need to blame Karin for her plan.

Temari, like Ino, was a genius. No. A fucking genius. Every woman had that specific spot that they wanted to be touched and Temari had solved the problem of the man getting pleasure and the woman. Shikamaru could be working one hole while touching another and there was literally nothing wrong with that in Hinata's eyes.

She then thought about Tenten. Neji's technique must have been great as Hinata has always heard Tenten's moans before the two even really got into it. In fact, Hinata had her own version of the technique named Eight Trigrams Sixty-four Strokes. Needless to say it had similar affects on Shino as Neji's had on Tenten's.

Finally there was Tayuya. Oh how Hinata wished the two could change places, even for a night. Because of Tayuya's Curse Seal, she was able to heal a bit faster than normal (though not as fast as Naruto) and would show Hinata some of Naruto's "love marks" on her body. Hinata swore to herself that she would not need any transformation to please Naruto if given a chance, though Tayuya shot that down quickly. Naruto was Tayuya's and no one else's.

Sighing, Hinata found herself aroused and got up to leave.

XXX

Six men returned home from the hospital to find their wives extremely horny and extremely "persuasive". Six men went to bed that next morning with their smiling wives thoroughly winded. Said six women met up later to exchange their stories of their adventures.

"Best night ever!" Ino said happily.

"I now know why they call it the Gate of Life." Sakura added.

Tenten merely rolled her eyes. "Whores…" Sakura and Ino both stuck their tongues out at Tenten with a small giggle before Tenten frowned in thought. "I wonder where Hinata is."

Tayuya shrugged. "Probably reading one of those books that the Frog Perv writes."

Temari laughed. "Wouldn't it be funny if she had a better experience than all of us?"

The other women laughed as well.

"Yeah right!"

XXX

Shino lied in bed, completely nude, his hands handcuffed to the bed posts. Hinata walked in the room in a black leather corset with white bunny ears on her head and a small white bunny tail on her rear.

"You ready Shino-kun?" asked the woman with an alluring tone.

Shino growled before his "bunny" hopped onto him. Maybe having a wife that knew how everyone "did it" wasn't so troublesome after all…

Author's Note: So here is a small one-shot that can be attached to Troublesome. Not as funny as the original, IMO, but it still makes me laugh. On a small note, I know hot tubs and pregnant women don't generally mix as it is hazardous, but this is the world of Naruto where kids can walk up trees and water and summoning a fifty-foot talking toad is possible. Work with it. The prequel to Troublesome, which will be called Puzzle Pieces, will have its first chapter out in a day or two. For any NM:BoaL readers, Naruto Makaze will be posted sometime after Christmas. And to the Kaibunkage readers, that will be posted sooner than later. Also, to a special reviewer from Troublesome, I am not offended by your story, even if you did use a lot of the same material. And I do mean a lot. Anyway, I'm going to go enjoy my break now. Don't forget the 2Rs of Fanfiction (Read and Review) since it would be the best gift you could give me! See ya!