This was crazy she needed to go get her head examined. It was the only explanation as to why she was having such thoughts about a man that was nothing more then a killer. Albeit a killer that saved her life, and saved her son's life but a killer nonetheless. But here she was sitting in her lonely ass apartment holding a glass of wine thinking about those piercing blue eyes, and that sexy voice of his. John Reese was getting to her, and she wasn't happy about it. She was a damned NYPD police detective, and yet she was risking her career, and freedom for a man that gave her little reason too. But she couldn't even really blame it all on Reese because she had no one to blame but herself. John Reese didn't twist her arm in fooling the CIA agents, or the FBI nope she did that all on her own. She did it because even though he was a killer at some point in his life he was doing good now. He was saving people that would most assuredly have perished had himself, and that Finch character not taken great strides in saving them. Now she was working with them to protect the innocent that would be overlooked. She just didn't understand how they knew what was going to happen, but she was starting to learn to trust in them which scared the hell out of her.

Joss Carter didn't trust easily nor did she trust many, but damned if she didn't trust that blasted man with those big baby blues, and cute smirk. She cursed herself for even romanticizing the man in any way. There wasn't anything cute about John Reese. He was a hundred percent all hard man, and fucking hot. She reserved only times when she was alone to even allow herself to admit that she found Reese unbelievably attractive. She hadn't been with a man in a very long time nor had the notion to even date a man been on her mind for a very long time. But she needed to get laid because if she was going to think about Reese constantly it meant that she needed a guy, and needed him bad.

She sipped her wine closing her eyes as the stress began to fade away. Her mind wandered thinking about what type of lover Reese would make. No doubt he would be a skilled lover taking great care to pleasure his woman before thinking of himself. But Reese didn't appear to her as a man that gave up control easily, and most likely he was the one that called the shots in bed. Well if he was in her bed she'd call the shots, and force that quiet and stoic man to lose that precious hold he had on control. He looked like a man that needed some ruffling up someone to surprise him. She sighed her mind slowly peeling piece after piece of clothing off of him knowing that she would find a body of a scarred Adonis beneath those damn dress pants, and dress shirt. She could already hear that sexy moan he would give when she licked a trail down the wide expanse of his chest pausing slightly to suck at his flat and dark nipples. Joss opened her eyes groaning as her wandering mind was falling quickly into the gutter. Damn that bastard!

Joss nearly dropped her wineglass when she heard the sound of a knock at her door. She forced herself up, and off the couch making her way over to the door. She peeked through the peephole, and cursed under her breath opening the door glaring at the man that had been currently starring in her slowly becoming erotic daydream.

"What do you want?"

"Do I have to have a reason to come visit you?" he asked standing before her in his long black trench coat that hung open showing off his white dress shirt, and a dark blue blazer. She really needed to tell him he needed to loosen up. She'd bet he would look stunning in a pair of jeans especially that ass of his.

"With you yeah. You never just drop by for no reason Reese so what do you want, and might I remind you that today is my day off." She stared at him sizing him up. She narrowed her eyes realizing something was off with him. It was his eyes they were red rimmed as if he had been crying.

"I sorry to have disturbed you." he went to turn around, but she reached out without thinking and grabbed his arm. He paused turning just his head to look at her, and there it was again the look of exhausted vulnerability. Something was up with him, and she wanted to know what it was now!

"Get your ass in here." she snapped.

"With that offer how can one refuse." he said quietly but made no real attempt at entering her apartment. She sighed, why was everything a fight with this man?

"Look Reese you came here for something, and I'm sorry I just jumped to the conclusion of you wanting me to work, but usually that's why you're here."

"I know. Like I said I am sorry to have intruded on your day off I'll leave."

"And I said get your ass in here Reese before I have to haul it in myself."

"Promises." he half smiled and she blinked was that his way of flirting? She shook her head she was just allowing her daydream to get to her. She stepped back, and he entered allowing her to shut the door with him inside. She locked up. Taylor was hanging out with his friend at his house, and wouldn't be home till tomorrow. She was glad her kid had a good friend like that since she was always working. She eyed Reese from behind he just stood in the foyer of her apartment like he didn't know what to do with himself. This guy was a puzzle.

"You know you can take your jacket off, and actually enter my apartment." she half laughed as she walked around him putting her wineglass down on the end table nearest the couch and to Reese. He looked down at her even though she was a tall woman he towered over. Making her feel small and most definitely feminine. She rolled her eyes when he just looked at her unsure of what to do, and she took pity on the social inept man. She walked around him reaching up to his shoulders pulling down his trench coat, and taking a nice look at his broad back, and butt. She inwardly sighed as she turned to hang his coat up on the coat hook on the back of the door on top of her own dark colored peacoat. "I could pour you some wine, or I have beer if you want."

"Beer would be preferable." she nodded walking to the adjoining kitchen where she could still view Reese who was giving her apartment a general once over as if he was observing it for danger. She pulled out a beer bottle, and snapped the cap off exiting back into the living room where he hadn't moved an inch. She handed him the beer. She motioned for them to sit on the couch and he did so first. Joss grabbed her glass of wine, and sat down beside him. They sat in silence she eyed with him quietly as she sipped her wine. She smacked her hand against her thigh.

"What's going on Reese?" she asked not beating around the bush. She was tired of just going through the motions pretending that he came here for a social get together. He was anything but social. He looked over to her, and he had that pained expression on his face again making the detective in her suspicious while the woman in her wanted to comfort him.

"Do you ever think about the moments you've lost because of what you chose to do, or chose to be?" he asked quietly, and her trained eyes could see the tension in his shoulders.

"Sometimes, but I don't dwell on that stuff John. What ifs can kill ya." she spoke after taking a moment to get her thoughts together. He turned those blue eyes on her once more, and she saw the shadows that were always in them but they seemed more pronounced. He was raw, and exposed and he had come to her for comfort. Joss don't do this to yourself, don't start thinking about everything he's been through or you'll be trouble.

"Carter, do you ever wish you've chosen to do something else, and not become who you are today?"

She stared at him for a moment before putting her wineglass down. "I never wished I've done something different even when I made mistakes. I learnt from them, and every mistake or error I made makes me a better person today. So to answer your question no I never wished to change a thing about myself."

"I see."

"Well maybe I wish I had a slimmer waistline, and a bigger bust." she chuckled eyeing her modest bust, and average waist.

"You're perfect the way you are Carter." she felt her insides twist as they were skating on thin ice. Men shouldn't say things like that without meaning them, but she knew without a doubt this man never spoke anything but the truth. Ignore it her mind screamed.

"What's making you think about this? What happened?"

"It was nothing I shouldn't have bothered you." he set the beer bottle having barely drank any onto the coffee table that sat in front of her couch. He went to stand up, and she shook her head tsking at him putting a hand on his shoulder pushing downward. She knew as well as he did that he could easily stand up, but he allowed himself to be pushed back down onto the cushions. His whole body was tense. He wasn't ready to tell her what was wrong, but she had an idea of something that could help relax him. She sighed she just hoped like hell that she could handle it, and keep her damn libido in check. She quietly stood up sliding her hand down to his grabbing it tugging. He had an inquisitive look in his eyes, but he allowed himself to be pulled into a standing position, and then tugged to the hallway.

"What are you doing Carter?"

"I haven't seen anyone as damned tense as you are John, and you need to loosen up a little before you snap." she said as she flicked the light on as they entered her bedroom. He stopped and she nearly ripped her arm off as she was getting used to tugging him, but found him immobile. She turned to look back at him. He had a look on his face causing her to smile. "I am not going to molest you or something. You can enter my bedroom I have only pure intentions." his blue eyes if possible grew even brighter, and bluer then before.

"Are you sure?" he asked as if it was a let down and she chuckled.

"Positive." he entered her room further, but cautiously causing her to chuckle. He appeared to be still suspicious as to why he was in her room in the first place, but he said nothing more as she disappeared into the bathroom connected to her bedroom. She reappeared, and watched him with laughter as he was fidgeting a bit like he was nervous. She liked unbalancing this man a bit. She threw a white towel at him he caught it in his right hand eyeing it perplexed. "Now get naked." she grinned walking back towards the bathroom shutting it leaving it slightly ajar

"No looking." he called out.

"You wish." she answered back, but had her face plastered to the door watching him as he shucked off first his blazer, then his shirt, and followed close behind those pants that were hiding his hot bod. She fanned herself a bit, her teeth digging into her lip trying desperately not to moan as her eyes traced every bit of his body especially his nice package encased in tight ass black boxer-briefs. Drop them oh come on baby drop those boxer briefs her mind chanted. She felt fire rocket down her spine arrowing towards her sex as his hands went under the elastic of his underwear pushing them down. Now hot damn that man was equipped with a nice dick. She grinned not at all ashamed she was ogling, and taking full advantage of this moment. She sighed in sadness when he wrapped the towel around his hips hiding his nice and thick cock from view.

"Okay now I'm naked, but in a towel now what?" he called out clearly unused to be told orders. She grinned loving the fact that she was in control of him right now.

"Lay face down on my bed." she called out huskily hating that she was breathless from his little striptease.

"What's the matter with your voice Carter, cat got your tongue?" her cheeks burned as she realized he had known she was watching him the entire time. She didn't respond afraid of what she might say, so instead she opened the small cabinet pulling out her lotion, and oil. She pushed the door open, and was grateful he had listened to her, and was laying face down on the bed. Joss stared at him as he laid on the bed his head pillowed by his arms. Her eyes looked at the nice rump encased in the white terrycloth towel. She forced her increasingly turned on body to simmer down. She wasn't going to have sex with Reese she was just going to give him a massage. She walked over purposely throwing the lotion, and oil beside him on the bed slowly climbing on. She lifted her left leg over him and settled herself onto his butt. Joss stopped herself from moaning when her sex that was becoming wetter, and wetter as the more turned on she got was pressed intimately against his nice ass.

"When was the last time you had a massage John?" she asked quietly. He chuckled softly.

"A very long time ago." she didn't doubt that at all. The man was the epitome of tense, but it went along with the job she supposed.

"Well its been a very long time for me to give a massage so bare with me." she whispered in his ear as she leaned down, and she gasped a little when her hard nipples pressed into his back. She prayed she would be able to control herself as she grabbed the oil, and sat back up shifting feeling a spike of heat scissor inside her. She squirted some of the cool oil in her hand, and she rubbed her hands together to warm it up before bringing it to his skin. She closed her eyes as he moaned. Oh shit this was a bad idea a really bad idea, but for some reason she couldn't stop herself. She slowly began kneading his tight muscles at his shoulders first. Slowly ever so slowly she felt the tension in them begin to fade. The tight muscles she worked harder, and then gently rubbed and soothed his skin. His skin was hot, and smooth to the touch. He was like a drug the more she touched him the more she needed too.

Joss began running her hands down along the curvature of his spine dipping briefly beneath the towel just to slowly run back up. She did that numerous times as she felt him relax beneath her. Okay stop now Joss he's relaxed, but she didn't she moved down onto his upper thighs, and loosened the knot at his waist until it gave way.

"Carter?"

"Hmmmm?" she half sighed half moaned reaching her fingertips now beneath the loose material. Her hands brushing his buttocks.

"I think we should stop." was his voice now breathy or was it just her? Stopping was beyond her she couldn't, no she wouldn't stop.

"I think you have more muscles that need to be massaged." she purred feeling her entire body crackle alive as her hands became more bold as she dipped her hands lower, and lower then before. She was then massaging, and kneading his ass and he was loving it by the way of his soft moans were escaping him. His ass felt good in her hands, but she forced her hands to stop grabbing those incredible cheeks as she climbed off of him, and began massaging the backs of his thighs, down to his calves. "Rollover John." This time he turned only his head to look at her, and she could easily see the desire for her in them.

"I think the massage is over I should be leaving."

"Rollover John, or I'll roll you over myself."

"I'd love to see you try." he cocked a brow. Joss loved a challenge. She grabbed his left arm and used all her might, and shoved she knew he was allowing her once again to have her way. He was flat on his back looking up at her, and she stared unceremoniously at where the towel was tented upwards barely covering him. "I'm a man Joss." he said quietly. "And you are a very beautiful woman that was touching me in ways a woman hasn't in a very long time." she grinned as she finally peeled her unhealthy stare from between his legs to up to his beautiful eyes. She lifted her leg, and straddled him again her eyes closing as she moaned feeling his erection pressing into her core. Oh god it had been such a long time since she felt a man's penis there. She gave an involuntary shudder, and a gentle roll of her hips.

"John." she stared down at him as he stared up at her.

"This can't happen." he whispered.

"Why?" she put her hands down onto the bed on either side of his head.

"Because." she chuckled bringing her mouth close to his.

"Now that's a good reason, it suspiciously sounds like my kid's reasoning when he was just a boy." she nipped at his chin. She could feel him tensing against her.

"I don't want to hurt you."

"You won't."

"You're right I won't because this is done." he snapped pushing her off of him. She sat on the bed staring at him as he threw the towel on the floor giving her a nice full unadulterated view of his ass. He began pulling his underwear, and pants on then it clicked in her brain he was leaving. She immediately got to her feet as he began yanking his shirt on.

"Damn it John what's the big deal we are both adults here?!" she demanded as she got in his face. She hadn't planned on having sex with him, but he was the first man she was attracted too. Her entire body felt like it was on fire and they didn't even have foreplay yet. His eyes snapped to hers and she saw desire in them for her, but also something else that was going to out win the desire he had for her.

"You're a very desirable woman Detective Carter you'll find another adult." he went to grab his blazer but she grabbed it first.

"Oh I will huh. Well newsflash you stupid dumbass I want you." there she said. She wanted him. She admitted it out loud, and to the man himself. His mouth opened slightly his eyes widened just a little, but then the emotions were shuddered behind a mask. His eyes looked blank as he stared at her. He snatched his blazer out of her hands. He quietly sat down, and began putting his socks and shoes back on.

"I do not deserve you."

"Oh fuck that I hate when men say that. You deserve better, or you deserve more. How the hell would you know what I deserve John?" she growled standing in front of him, and when he went to stand up she shoved at his shoulders to sit his ass back down. But this time he wasn't in the mood to let her win he used his power to stand anyways, and was once more towering over her.

"I know that you deserve a good man not a man like me."

"I get to decide whose right for me, and whose not its my life John." she snapped reaching up pulling his head down slamming her lips against his. It was like her body was made for his. All the oxygen fled from her brain, and it shut down as he kissed her back. She moaned as her arms wrapped around his neck feeling indescribable emotions fill her as the kiss raged hot, and passionate. His tongue licked at her lips seeking entrance, and she wasn't about to deny him. His hands grasped tightly at her hips as he pulled her flush against him his erection pressing into her belly. She moaned as his tongue explored the inner recesses of her mouth. His tongue then touched hers, and it was like liquid fire tearing through her as her panties grew even wetter. She couldn't get enough of his mouth. Her hands disappeared into his hair, and when it seemed like oxygen became abundantly clear that they needed it that was when the kiss ended. They both were drawing ragged breaths in as they stared at each other. "Stay John." she whispered licking her lips loving his taste on hers. His mouth tasted like beer, and mint.

"I can't." he shuddered pushing her away from him, and rushed past her. It took her a moment to realize he was still going to run even after that kiss, and she wasn't about to make it that damn easy on him. He was walking stealthily, and quickly towards the front door unlocking it.

"You talked about losing moments, and choosing to do something different. Well John do something different right now, and take a damn chance. Let me in." she demanded using all her might shoving the door shut when he went to open it. He turned just his head and stared at her. The vulnerability was back in his eyes, and she knew she wasn't going to win.

"I'll call you when we need your help with our next person of interest." he said as his eyes were once more emotionless. He shoved her hand off the wooden door grabbing his trench coat off the hook opening the door, and disappearing through it. She slammed the door behind him leaning against the door. If he thought that was the end of what just happened he was in for a rude awakening!