A/N Thank you to CalliopeGalaxy for the beta! And thank you for continuing to read and all the lovely reviews! It means a lot to me. :) Please review because writers thrive on feedback!

Sorry it took so long but I felt like I needed to add the beginning to explain more fully Jon's reasoning for what he did.

Chapter 21

"I do not understand why you swore allegiance to Stannis Baratheon and not Brandon Stark, the true King in the North," Crowfood said loudly, with a fierce glare at Jon. "And now you intend to take Wildlings further south. I think you were beyond the Wall too long, my lord. I will not fight beside a Wilding."

The day after the wedding, Benjen allowed Jon to gather the Northmen in the Shield Hall so they could meet in private. So far, some of the decisions Jon had already made, including accepting Stannis' forced offer of some bands of Wildlings, outraged Mors Umber. At least Jon was allowed to choose the ones he would take and he did so based on his own knowledge of the different tribes.

Jon shook his head and began, "I understand your hesitation…"

"No, my lord. You misunderstand. I do not hesitate. I refuse. I will not fight beside a daughter-stealing Wilding! Lord Eddard Stark would never have…"

"I know better than you what my father would do," Jon said coldly. While others might be oblivious to it, Deirdre could see he quickly verged on losing his temper. "He taught us that for a man to refuse an order from his lord is an open rebellion and punishable by death."

Deirdre wondered if she should try to sooth the situation or remain silent. Before she could decide either way, Lady Mormont stood and, scowling at Mors, said, "Shut-up, you old fool. Whether you like it or not, you're not Lord Umber and the Greatjon would have told you that you are honor bound to follow Lord Stark, no matter which Stark it was. So if he tells you to fight beside a line of unicorns and shadowcats, you will do so. Stop all the barking and just listen to what he has to say."

"He's merely a pup…" Mors argued. "He doesn't know how the Wildlings will play us false. They'll agree to follow our rules and then stab us in the back with the steel we give them. Robb Stark wouldn't have been foolish enough to…"

Deirdre jumped when Jon shot to his feet, slamming his hands both down on the table before him. She placed a hand on his arm but did not dare to do more than that to interfere. Ghost prowled a little closer to Jon, sensing his anger, and Deirdre was reminded of the confrontation between another Stark and Umber where the Greatjon lost two fingers to Grey Wind.

"My brother is dead, as is my father. Perhaps I am not the Lord Stark you want but I am the Lord Stark you have. You will either follow my rule or face the block," Jon replied with ice in his voice. The room remained silent for a few minutes before Mors nodded to Jon, his mouth drawn tightly. Deirdre found herself taking a deep breath. "As to your reluctance about the Wildlings, I understand more than you realize. They attacked my little brother and I grew up seeing scores of people in the winter town, mostly women, lost over the years due to the raids. But like the people from the north are different from the people of the south and the Free Cities, different tribes of the Free People are more honorable than others. I will choose only those I know that I can trust. Despite your doubts in me, Crowfood, I know quite a bit about the Free People and the north. I was raised side-by-side with Robb Stark by our father, Lord Eddard Stark who everyone in this room admires and trusted. He taught us well so I ask that you give me some credit for knowing what I'm doing."

Most of the people in the room nodded silently. However, one man, who Deirdre had just met the day before, stood. "My lord, beggin' your pardon and I mean no disrespect, but we don't understand why you bent the knee to Stannis Baratheon at all," Morgan Liddle, son of the Liddle, said. "Your brother was the King in the North, selected by the Northmen and making us a separate kingdom from those who follow that king on the Iron Throne, the one that killed the Ned. His Grace has two sons, his rightful heirs and your wife was his queen. Why would you give up a title that was not yours to surrender and bend the knee to another southern king?"

Jon sat down with a sigh and Deirdre truly felt bad for him. She knew how tough the Northmen were with Robb, who was the rightful heir of Winterfell. Jon has been raised up out of necessity by a king that no one in this room had any faith in.

"Between all the Northmen Robb lost during the war and at the Red Wedding, we do not know how many loyal Northmen remain. The north is crawling with the Ironborn. The Karstarks and Boltons are no longer loyal to the Starks and surely the Boltons have other supporters. If I had refused Stannis' offer, we would have made yet another enemy and we're already surrounded. My father was loyal to Robert Baratheon and Stannis is his rightful heir. Robb made me Lord Regent to make these decisions because he knew I would know better than Deirdre what was best for the north," Jon explained. "And I was protecting his heirs. I do not want those boys hunted by Robb's enemies."

"Robb would have wanted his sons safe more than he wanted them to have the crown," Deirdre added, hoping her agreement would settle some of the doubters down but like Robb before him and probably even Lord Eddard, Jon would have to prove himself to earn their trust.

"She's right," Ned assured the room. "I knew more about the will than anyone here as the king confided in me his reasons behind certain requests. Lord Stark made the best decision for the north and King Robb would have supported it."

"What's done is done," Crowfood replied with a subtle nod to Jon. "Do you have plans for the return of the northern prisoners that are held by the Lannisters and the Freys?"

"Lord Umber remains at the Twins and I doubt there is much we can do about that until we defeat the ironborn and Lord Bolton. However, King Stannis has assured me that when the north is able, he will support an assault on the Twins. My brother, Lady Catelyn, and the Northmen will be avenged, you have my word." Jon's tone was full of anger and pain. Deirdre watched the Northmen share looks that promised the old saying The North Remembers was true. "A raven arrived the other day from Seagard. Lord Mallister felt certain that the Freys would soon besiege him or he would offer his help. He has sent Lady Jeyne Umber, Smalljon's widow, to Lord Howland Reed. She carries Smalljon's child."

Deirdre quickly offered, "Jeyne is welcome at Winterfell once we regain it…"

"No, my lady," Crowfood said. "She is an Umber now and carries the heir to our house. Unless she wishes to travel to Winterfell, she will come to Last Hearth and we will take care of her and the babe. The Greatjon's wife and daughters would never forgive me if I didn't insist that she remain with us. With the loss of Smalljon and her husband being a prisoner, Talla needs some hope to make it through this winter. She is from lands further south and can help Lady Jeyne adjust to living this far north. If it is agreeable to you, Lord Stark, I will make arrangements to send men for her in Greywater Watch before she is too heavy with child."

Jon gave her a nod signaling his approval and Deirdre said, "I think Jeyne will learn to love Last Hearth and would want her child raised amongst Smalljon's people. If she wishes to stay with us for awhile though, she is welcome. Perhaps you will want Daryn, Robert, or Adair to accompany your other men since Jeyne knows my guards and would feel more at ease with someone she knew with her."

"You have my gratitude, Lady Stark," Mors said. "We will send Robert with our other men, if you can truly spare him."

"Yes, of course," Deirdre said with a smile. Turning to Jon, she said, "Lord Tully remains at the Twins as well and Ser Wylis Manderly is at Harrenhal. Can we do nothing for them?"

"I can do nothing for Lord Tully as the Lannisters gave Riverrun to Emmon Frey who is married to Lord Tywin's sister. Lord Manderly sent a raven that he is loyal to Lord Bolton and King Tommen," Jon replied. "I know Lord Manderly and he would not betray my family so easily. The wording of his statement makes me wonder how quickly that loyalty will turn if he regains his son. His Grace sent his Hand of the King, Lord Seaworth, to meet with him in White Harbor. We need his loyalty."

Her guard Balin rose from his seat in the back of the room and said, "I assure you, my lord, that Lord Manderly would not pledge his loyalty to the turncoat Bolton if Ser Wylis did not have a knife to his throat. His younger son died with the king at that accursed wedding." The room exploded into curses and angry words. Deirdre thought of the men who died with Robb and had been by his side so much, she knew them well. Smalljon had been as dear to her as Dacey and Ned. Ser Wendel had been brave and honorable, always ready with a smile for her.

"Men, as much as I would like to take the Twins apart stone by stone, we must focus on energies on the ironborn for now, " Jon declared and gave everyone a few moments to settle down. "Ramsey Snow will likely attempt to take Moat Cailin and secure passage into the north for his father and his men so that must be our first target while the king marches on Deepwood Motte. As you know, we must reach Winterfell and begin the repairs there."

Jon frowned and grew even more somber. "Lady Cerwyn sent men to Winterfell a fortnight ago and sent me a report. The ceiling of the Great Hall and one side of the First Keep have collapsed. The hot springs have formed into lakes at the bottom of the Library Tower. The Maester's Turret and the bridge between the Bell Tower and the rookery are destroyed. The King's Gates and the East Gate were burned, but the others appear intact. The First Keep hasn't been used since before my father was born so it matters little but we will need the Great Hall and the gates repaired right away. Perhaps the saving grace is that the Glass Gardens and Godswood had very little damage."

"According to Lady Cerwyn's man Ser Kyle, some of the smallfolk have returned to the winter town and there were also some squatters within the castle that were granted leave to remain as long as they began the repairs. But we will need skilled builders and masons to help. Until we know if any of the people of Winterfell have survived, we must assume they are lost." Jon ran a hand through his hair and he looked so weary, Deirdre reached out and took his hand, giving it a little squeeze. Eventually he continued. "We need servants, tanners, guards, a master of horse, blacksmiths, cooks, and men to work in the stables and the glass gardens. Some of the small-folk with skills will be assigned duties in exchange for food and shelter within Winterfell. Some of the Wildlings that are going to fight with Stannis will leave their eldest sons as our wards and they'll be apprentices in different trades."

"Most of the people who fled Mole's Town came to Last Hearth and our winter town is overcrowded. We'll send all that we can to Winterfell. Most likely, they'd be glad of a chance at a new future even if they are leery of the Wildlings," Mors replied.

"Once Winterfell has been repaired, it is the most secure keep in the North and it's surrounded by rich lands for crops, livestock, hunting, and lumber. Most folk would consider a position at Winterfell an honor," Lady Mormont pointed out. "I will send word to Bear Island to send some woodcutters and a few guards to Winterfell. We don't have many men to spare but if you don't mind women…"

A chuckle went up from the men and Jon smiled. "No, Lady Mormont, anyone you send is welcome." Standing he said, "I have to meet with the king now. We'll speak more at Last Hearth. I hope to depart at midday tomorrow unless the king has any objections."

x-x-x

"This way you'll be able to carry one of the babes safely on the horse with you," Jared Umber explained the strange contraption to Deirdre. "I made two of them but I did not know of the other babes traveling with us." The twins were two of five infants traveling from the Wall to Last Hearth, counting Mance's son with Val, Gilly's son, and Aline's daughter.

"Yes, there is an unexpected number of children," Deirdre replied with a smile. "I do not think Gilly or Aline intend to ride, preferring the wagons instead. If Val rides, she can leave the baby in the wagon with Gilly."

"Won't you be riding in the wagon as well?" Dacey said in surprise. "I just assumed…"

Deirdre shook her head quickly. "No, after the journey here, I want no part of riding in the wagon again. Besides, now I can ride with one of the boys. I suppose since Robert is going with the Umber men to get Jeyne Westerling, I'll ask Adair to take the other babe. He's the most skilled rider and I'd rather have yours and Ned's hands free to fight if there is an attack of some kind." The thought made her frown. "Although I hope there won't be much risk of that."

"We still do not know the intentions of the Karstarks since the king executed their lord," Dacey reminded her. "If they have aligned with the Boltons, we're in danger due to their close proximity to the Wall. Not to mention, we have no guarantees about the Wildlings or the Bastard of Bolton."

"Have they heard anything about Theon Greyjoy?" Deirdre asked quietly, attempting to get Brandon to fall asleep despite all of the visitors in her room. "Lord Bolton told Robb that he'd been captured at Winterfell but since he betrayed us about everything else, I don't think we should trust that."

"I'm certain Lord Stark is planning for all contingencies," Ned spoke quickly. Dacey's glance at him and his guilty look worried Deirdre but she waited until Jared had left to ask.

"You both are hiding something from me," she accused sternly. "Last time you kept something from me, Dacey, I ended up drugged and Brandon lost his title."

Dacey opened her mouth to retort then closed it just as quickly, glancing at Ned through narrowed eyes. Finally, he admitted, "It's not Dacey that is keeping secrets. She wanted to tell you because she feels it unfair and risky."

"What is it?" Both remained silent, Ned looking uncomfortably and Dacey continuing to stare at him. Deirdre hated making demands of them but at times she knew she must. "I demand you tell me."

Dacey practically pounced on the opportunity to spill the beans. "Jon has ordered us not to discuss the war with you. He will decide what he thinks is necessary for you to know. Otherwise, he doesn't want you unnecessarily burdened with talk of war. There was more talk of wars and battles at this morning's meeting than he wished so he pulled us aside afterwards. I suspect you won't be involved in many in the near future."

At first, Deirdre was angry but then she remembered previous conversations where Jon had already said that he wanted it this way. Part of her didn't like her guards becoming Jon's men or her loss of power. Being queen had brought her so much heartache but at least she was able to command her own men, feeling like they were always on her side. Robb could always have overruled her and, perhaps he did and she wasn't aware, but mostly he seemed to only give orders to Ned who was expected to relay them on to the others. This made her feel like a child but she knew Jon wished to spare her more suffering. His intentions were good at least.

Although she fully intended to talk to Jon about it later, she forced a smile and said, "I understand. It will take time for all of us to adjust to Jon's handling of things, but I do not wish to do anything to undermine him. He has enough people questioning him."

"As I said," Ned retorted with a look to Dacey.

Dacey smirked at him. "Since it's not war related, are you going to tell her about Adair or allow her to find out on her own?"

"No. Let him share it if he wants to." Ned shook his head and left the room without another word.

As soon as the door shut, Deirdre demanded, "What about Adair?" She sensed it was something humorous rather than of real concern judging from Dacey's mischievous expression.

Dacey sat on the bed beside her and started chuckling. "Have you heard how a Wildling doesn't bother with 'courting' but simply steals the partner they want? Apparently, after your wedding last night, Val stole Adair from his chambers at knife point. Ned did nothing to stop it when he found out as Adair was not on duty and honestly not in danger, but Ned and Patrek did have to track him down this morning. It took a little encouragement to get Val to release him. She only agreed when Ned promised Adair could return when he was off duty. Adair is now besotted by her, but Ned is less than amused by the whole incident."

Deirdre almost wished she had been there to observe that confrontation. "I'm certain all of the other men teased Adair about it even if they wished to be in his place. Val is a beautiful woman."

"I think that's partially why Ned was so irritated: Adair found a lover and Ned has not. I suppose it's not appropriate to speak to you about this."

Deirdre slapped her arm. "One of the blessings of no longer being the queen is that people don't need to be so formal with me, especially when we're in private. Besides I need humor as well. There has been far too much unhappiness and worrying. I desperately need to laugh more." Studying the other woman, Deirdre asked, "What of you and Ned? I thought for a time that perhaps you two might…"

Dacey glanced at her in surprise then looked away. "At a time, perhaps. However, Ned wants a wife and children."

"And you never want to that?"

Dacey was quiet for a moment and Deirdre worried she had pried too much. Finally Dacey said, "Someday I suppose. I am the heir to Bear Island and that means whoever I marry would have to live there. It's a hard place for any man to have his wife rule. Before the Battle at Oxcross, I started worrying that he was too serious and I did… something… to prevent that."

"Something… with Ser Marc Piper?" Deirdre asked, already suspecting it.

Shame crossed Dacey's face but contrary to her obvious regret, her voice was almost boastful. "We never promised one another anything so for Ned to be so jealous…"

"He loved you. Even I could see that despite both of you trying to hide the whole affair from me," Deirdre exclaimed in frustration. "I do not think he would care about you ruling or anything else. He loved you and you threw it away." She knew she wasn't being completely fair since she did not know the whole story but she knew Ned loved Dacey and it made her angry that Ned had been hurt. "You should attempt to mend fences with him. We both know that you will find no man more loyal and protective than him. He's handsome, kind, and smart; not to mention, he would treat you better than any man."

"You should know something. I don't know how to tell you…" Dacey began glancing at her hands for a moment before rising to pace the room. "But I don't want you to find out from Jon. It was before, long before you two were betrothed…"

When Dacey trailed off and looked awkwardly away, Deirdre blurted out, "You slept with Jon?" feeling hurt and angry despite knowing she had no right. She had no claim to Jon at that time.

Dacey quickly faced her, shaking her head. "No! I just… I attempted to comfort him. We were all such a mess when we arrived here and he had just learned about his brother. I tried to comfort him but he rejected me because of his vows."

Deirdre watched Dacey in silence, trying to quell the anger in her. Dacey hadn't done anything wrong and neither had Jon. Even if they had become lovers, she could say nothing. She forced a smile and lied, "It's fine, Dacey. As you said, it didn't actually happen. Think nothing of it." She quickly changed the subject and the two finished packing the remainder of Deirdre and the boys' belongings.

Jon did not return by supper so she ate with Benjen, who wanted to spend time with the boys before they left. He mentioned that Jon and Stannis were butting heads about the Wildlings and Stannis had declared that Benjen had no real say in the matter, sending him away.

"You're the Lord Commander of the Night's Watch. I would think you had plenty of say. It sounds like the king didn't want Jon to have someone there to support his arguments," Deirdre replied.

"I think it was one too many Starks for him," Benjen agreed with a smile. "Jon has Mors Umber and Lady Mormont in the meeting as well so Jon isn't completely alone in fighting the good fight. But I fear Jon might lose the biggest battle."

"What is that, if I might ask?"

Benjen sighed wearily, switching little Benjen to his other arm. "What the king wants the Wildlings to do is complicated and likely going to rile them even more. They're proud people who do not give up their freedom easily. He wants them to promise too much. Jon is trying to make him understand what he thinks they are willing to do. But mostly Jon is arguing that they will never follow Stannis if he burns Mance Rayder alive in front of them."

"What?" Deirdre gasped. "How could Stannis think that would gain him their loyalty? It's brutal and horrific."

Benjen shook his head and explained, "The brutality of it is not the main concern. If Mance were executed or killed in a battle, the Wildlings would understand that it was a result of war. But to burn him as a bound prisoner in sacrifice to a god they do not believe in, then ask them to bend the knee to a southern king is too much to ask for loyalty in response. They've been defeated by Stannis' soldiers, but what the king is suggesting means to degrade them a step further."

"If they are asked to bend too much, they will break," she muttered, her dislike for Stannis growing. "Is his death a punishment for his crimes or merely a sacrifice?"

"A sacrifice," Jon said from the doorway.

Deirdre glanced up in surprise; she hadn't heard him open the door. He looked as exhausted as he'd ever looked during the Battle of the Wall. "Have you had supper?" she asked.

"No, but I'm not very hungry."

"You need to eat something," Deirdre replied, rising and handing Brandon to Jon. "He's nearly asleep but I thought he might soothe you. I'll send for a plate of food for you."

The two men spoke softly for awhile before Benjen left, putting little Benjen snug in his basket. Jon allowed her to take Brandon to lie beside his brother. Suddenly Deirdre felt awkward and hesitated by the boys' basket. They were married now but hadn't grown comfortable enough with each other that it seemed natural to do what married couples did. Jon clearly felt the same as he kept studying his hands or glancing around the room.

"Perhaps we should sleep," she suggested. "We have a long journey tomorrow."

Jon merely nodded before leaning down to unlace and remove his boots. Deirdre walked to the trunk she had left open for things they would need tonight and in the morning and began undressing. When she removed the pins that held her hair, she felt Jon's fingers work through her hair, pulling it all loose, then draping it over one shoulder. She untied the bodice of her gown as his lips trailed along her neck. Her breath caught when he bit down gently.

"Are you tired?" he whispered, his hands wrapping around her waist and pulling her back to his naked body.

"Yes," she murmured, relaxing against him. "But I am not too tired."

"I want you desperately," he replied, urgently pulling her gown off the remainder of the way. "You wear far too much clothing now."

Deirdre couldn't help but laugh. "You've had me twice today already. And I wear the proper amount of clothing, unlike I did when I snuck to your chambers at Winterfell."

Jon groaned in annoyance as he started tugging at the laces of her corset. Finally frustrated, he moved on to her smallclothes as she quickly unlaced the corset, dropping it to the floor with her clothes. Turning her around, Jon grasped her neck to draw her to him, kissing her deeply until she felt dizzy and a rush of heat flooded through her body. She gasped when Jon suddenly released her only to pick her up around her waist.

"Wrap your arms around my neck," he commanded, pulling her legs around him and stepping forward to press her back against the wall. Deirdre clung to him tightly. He thrust into her, causing a moan from both of them, as his mouth covered hers.

It was raw and desperate desire as they moved together aggressively. Jon nipped at her lips and she dug her nails into his back, eliciting a hiss of breath from him. Her back would likely be bruised tomorrow but she couldn't bring herself to care much.

"You set me on fire," he said, his mouth lowering to her neck. His thrusts were shallow but hard and they were pressed so closely together, she could do nothing but brace herself and kiss every inch of his heated skin that she could reach. She felt Jon's legs begin to tremble slightly so he began backing away towards the bed. Unexpectedly, he stumbled over something and almost dropped her, causing her to burst out in giggles.

"The bed," she said, biting his ear lobe. "Take me to bed."

He sat down and they tumbled back ungracefully onto the bed with her on top, but Jon quickly rolled her beneath him and entered her again in a swift motion. Deirdre wrapped her legs around his hips and her arms around his neck. Eventually his thrusts grew more urgent and he lowered his hand between them, to stroke her to completion. Soon she cried out, bucking up to him and Jon groaned, burying himself deep within her.

As he caught his breath and lay beside her, she frowned and sat up, saying, "I thought we agreed to wait on a child."

He was quiet for a moment before rubbing his face and replying. "It's hard to remember, at that particular moment. Forgive me."

"Jon, I just don't think it's wise now until we have Winterfell back. But if you don't want to wait, tell me. Don't attempt to…"

"I forgot," he said in an annoyed voice. "It's not like we took special care ever before nor did I with Ygritte. I…"

"Please, don't talk about her after we just made love." Deirdre answered sharply.

She could feel his anger in the air when he shot back, "Would you prefer to talk about Robb like last night?"

Tears burned her eyes as she shook her head. "I'm sorry. That wasn't fair. I just…I never thought I would be but it makes me a bit jealous, especially when I think that perhaps she could have had a child, your child, if she had lived. But that's not fair either because I have two children."

"And you don't want a child of mine anyway," he replied, his voice tight with anger.

She turned and studied him before shaking her head. "I want to have your child Jon, when we have a home, a permanent home, to keep them safe. Once we have a home, we can have a dozen if you wish. That is why I wonder if we shouldn't go straight to Ramsgate rather than Winterfell. It's undamaged and, although it's not a great castle like Winterfell, it is safe."

"The Starks rule from Winterfell. It has always been that way," he replied, reaching out to stroke her back. He sighed deeply and leaned over to kiss her side. "I am sorry I was cross with you. I try to be understanding and I know it's wise to wait for children but you're my wife now. It seems wrong to attempt to prevent something that is so natural for husband and wife."

Deirdre nodded and replied, "I don't know. Perhaps we shouldn't attempt to prevent it and allow the gods to decide. Unfortunately, the gods have never had very convenient timing for me."

"I'll be more careful. I promise," he said, pulling her back to lie beside him. "I cannot believe we are finally leaving this place. I will miss my friends. Sam intends to travel with Maester Aemon to Old Town then study to become a maester. Uncle Benjen doesn't feel it's safe here for the maester since Melisandre wants king's blood."

"Is that why she insists on sacrificing Mance?"

"I suppose. But I think I have convinced the king to postpone that. I have sent Val to make peace with Tormund on my behalf. He is one that I would truly trust, even though I betrayed the Wildlings. I know if he gave me his word, I could trust it. He would not make vows if he did not intend to keep them."

Deirdre glanced over at him in surprise. "I'm surprised the king allowed you to send the 'Wildling princess' back beyond the Wall. You sent her alone? Is it safe for her?"

"I sent her with Ghost. He'll keep her safe from the living and the dead," he answered. "We will remain in Last Hearth until I hear word from her on her success so don't worry."

Draping her leg over his, she stroked his chest and said, "Jon, I know you think it's wise to protect me but keeping things from me and telling others to do the same could put me in danger. Ignorance is not an option, I fear. I understand not talking to me of the details of battles or even not involving me in any decisions but I need to know what is happening before it affects me, not after."

Jon was so quiet she thought he slept so she raised her head to look at him. He was awake but his mind appeared to be elsewhere, she lay her head back down and closed her eyes. After a few minutes, he stroked her hair and said, "I feel I need to protect you but I will think about your words."

Deirdre simply nodded. Things would be easier once they left the Wall and she'd try to talk to him more about it. Until then, she'd encourage Dacey to keep her informed.