A\N: Hello everyone! It's been forever and a day since I wrote fanfiction, let alone CL fanfiction hasn't it?

This fic was SUPPOSED to be a one-shot but currently it's at almost 16,000 words. Probably a bit too long in that regard.

WARNING: This fic takes place during the Code Lyoko Evolution (season 5) universe, specifically during the events of episode 15 "Codeless". If you have not seen that episode and don't want to be spoiled, PLEASE DON'T READ THIS FIC!

Credit for the French-English translation goes to sandra- martins on Tumblr.

If there was something William Dunbar didn't like it was to be treated as though he didn't exist. He had had enough of that from before – before he joined the group, before he had proven himself a capable warrior, and before he gained their trust. They had accepted him finally. He belonged to the group. But why did he still feel like such an outsider? They accepted him, they trusted him, but something wasn't right.

Yumi. Plain and simple. Well… perhaps it wasn't all plain and simple. Yumi wasn't the problem. It was her actions, William realized, that was causing this discomfort within him; the unsure thoughts of whether or not he truly belonged in the group. Yet the more he thought about it, the more he came to the conclusion that his blame was more than likely misplaced. Blaming Yumi was too easy. It wasn't her. It was him and all his insecurities. It was the knowledge that she would never be interested in dating him. Ever. Her heart belonged to Ulrich, not him.

Ever since the incident with the essay she had written, he truly understood what he was up against. Though everything she had said about Ulrich – Eric - was true, he hadn't wanted to hear it. They fought. To be honest, it was the worst fight between the two of them that William had ever seen. But after Yumi purposely let herself get devirtualized by a Ninja, it became evident how much they cared for each other. That was never going to change.

As he sat down on the bench – their bench – he gave a half-hearted chuckle though he found nothing funny about the situation. Unrequited love…doesn't this just suck? He loved Yumi. It wasn't just a crush or some random fling. No. He honestly and truly loved her. He could see spending the rest of his life with her. He wanted to do that. In the couple of years that they had been friends he could think of no one else he'd rather date. No one else even came close to her.

Even amidst the clutches of XANA it was the thought of her that kept him going. It was only her that gave him the strength on a couple of occasions to break free of XANA's grasp, even if it were only for a few seconds. She was the only one that kept him fighting the A.I.'s control every step of the way. Now, sometimes it felt like she could care less about him.

Of course he knew that that wasn't true either. It was yet another moment of his insecurities bubbling to the surface. It was a trick his mind was playing on him. Without XANA chirping in his ear about how no one cared for him, his mind had since picked up the slack. It cast all sort of self doubt and self hate into his own thoughts, mixing them up and confusing him. What was worse was that sometimes he thought they were still coming from XANA, a connection that could not be broken. It would take William a second to remember that XANA's voice and his own voice had blended during his time under the evil program's control and often times he could no longer tell if it was his own voice or XANA's that he was hearing. Complete psychological manipulation at its worst. It haunted him even in his current state. He had nightmares about that voice; XANA's voice. His voice.

Whenever he was alone, the voice seemed to say the most. It never screamed at him, only whispered dark thoughts. It told him that the rest of the group didn't like him – they didn't really want him in the group. They just allowed him in to appease him and because, sometimes, they did actually need him. It told him that they weren't friends, that they didn't give a damn about him. It constantly scrutinized everything he did, everything he said. It pointed out his flaws and weaknesses. It made him feel guilty. It even had him convinced that the possession was all his fault. Even after talking to Aelita a little about it, and having her reassure him that it could have happened to any of them, that voice told him that it was still his fault. And it went out to point out that the others blamed him for it too. Everyone knew that it was fault. That voice. It was still whispering to him, blaming him, telling him that he was just no good.

William continued just to sit there, drowning in his own thoughts and emotions. He had so many demons and the worst part was that he was starting to lose the battle keeping them at bay. He was going to have to figure out a way to deal with them if he were going to ever be truly happy once more. He wanted to go to the others. Aelita would listen. She would understand and try to help. But he could never bring himself to really talk about it; to talk about what he experienced under XANA's control. It was not something he wanted to relive. Besides, they believed that he couldn't remember what happened to him while being controlled. When he was first rescued that was true, he couldn't, but little by little the pieces fell back into place until he everything. Then, of course, there was that small voice at the back of his mind telling him that he couldn't ask any of them for help because they'd never ever give it to him. He was on his own.

He cast a quick glance around the courtyard and spied Yumi in the distance. She looked as though she might be heading toward him. Not wanting to have a discussion with her, William reached down into his pocket and grabbed the mobile phone inside. Before she got to him, he turned it on and moved to his messages. He wasn't ready to talk to her – or any of them - just yet. He wanted his alone time but somehow he realized that it probably was not going to happen for a while. Something was up.

Just the sight of her made his emotions run haywire again. He wanted to watch her, tell her how much he loved her, and how much she meant to him. Yet the other side of him wanted her to leave him alone and not talk to him again. Leave him with his broken heart and unrequited love. That torture he could handle. What was harder was knowing that she didn't return his feelings and yet he still saw her all of the time.

She walked up to him and he quickly glanced down at his phone, moving his fingers across the keypad as he pretended to type a text message to an imaginary friend. Don't be stupid, the voice in the back of his mind whispered menacingly. She knows that you don't have any other friends. She knows that they are the only ones who can stand putting up with you for any length of time. The voice was always there.

Out of the corner of his eye, William saw Yumi sit down beside him on the bench. "XANA launched another attack."

What did she want him to do about it? Get up and chase after her? It was a statement and, to be honest, he really just didn't want to go. He continued looking down at his phone, pretending to text that same imaginary person as before. He just wanted to be left alone for that time being. He had too many things to think about. After all, if Ulrich could skip out on a mission because he was sulking, why couldn't he? He heard a small "phht!" escape his lips but didn't move his eyes to look up at Yumi.

"Look, I know you won't enjoy working with me," Yumi said to him as he continued to look at his phone. "But we have no options."

Well, that was true. Ulrich and Aelita had already been to Lyoko and Odd was bound and determined as a "codeless" to protect them. Yumi was the only one who could deactivate the tower and he was really the only one who could help her do that. William glanced up and looked at her. There were so many things that he wanted to say to her, and yet at the same time he didn't want to be anywhere near her. But there she was, sitting in beside him, wanting his help. Before he could say anything, he looked back down at his phone, pretending that he had gotten a text message back.

"I suggest a truce. Just for the time being to take care of it," Yumi added. William looked back up to her. She hadn't said anything about the phone so perhaps he had faked it well enough. No. No, she just didn't care about that. "Okay?"

She stretched out her hand and waited for him. He made no move toward her or her hand. He really, really just wanted to be left alone for a little while but she was making it downright impossible to do so. After a few seconds of sitting there in silence, he raised his hand up and clasped her own. All the feelings he had about her rushed through him once more. The sensation of her hand clasping his was something that he didn't want to lose. "Okay," came his response. His voice was quiet and calm, partially due to his hand in hers and partially because he was reluctantly agreeing to go with her. There was not much else he could do. Whether or not he wanted to, he had to help her. He couldn't risk the safety of the world because of his own insecurities and demons. Besides, what better way than to get out his frustration than taking it out on XANA – the being that had caused the majority of his problems in the first place?

She withdrew his hand from his and the disappointment welled up once more in his mind. She would never love him like he loved her. Right now he wasn't even sure if he could be friends with her. For the time being, however, he would have to do his best to push that voice aside and ignore it. Sure, he knew that meant when he tried to go to sleep that night it would come back worse than ever, but he had to do what needed to be done. And he would do that.

"Come on, let's get to the factory quickly," Yumi said as she stood. William merely nodded as he stood up beside her. No turning back now, he thought to himself as she began walking toward the forest. It would be the quickest route to take to the sewers from that spot and also the safest. No one would see them or follow them there.

The walk through the woods was quiet. William didn't have much to say to Yumi and apparently the feelings were mutual. It was, perhaps, the most awkward time he had ever spent with her barring any interaction under XANA's control. An occasional "are you coming?" was thrown out every now and then followed by a "yes" from William but otherwise they said nothing to one another. He just didn't have anything to say to her that wouldn't affect their friendship in some way or another, or that wouldn't take a long time to talk explain. And, to be honest, he knew that this was neither the time nor the place for a serious discussion anyway.

Yumi stopped at the entrance to the sewer and glanced around before opening it up. Though not likely, it was possible that someone could have followed them to their secret spot and they didn't want another Laura on their hands. Satisfied that no one had followed them, Yumi slipped inside out of view. William watched her disappear inside the tunnels and sighed. Two attacks in the span of a couple of hours was a little much and he would have to remember to thank XANA for that later. And what better way to do that than by killing all of his stupid minions? At least that would give him a little satisfaction.

William moved over toward the entrance to the tunnel and slipped inside himself. His feet rested on the ladder as he reached up and slid the entrance closed before climbing down and walking behind Yumi. The tunnel was long and cold, but William didn't really care about that. Even though he was reluctant at first, all he could think about as he walked through the dark tunnels was getting to Lyoko and kicking some XANA-butt. That always made him feel better.

"I really hope Odd's idea will work," he heard Yumi mutter ahead of him. He wasn't sure if she purposely said it out loud or if it was just a thought that vocalized on its own accord, but William couldn't help but scoff at it.

"'Codeless protecting the Codefull?' Yeah right," he shook his head as he vocalized his own thoughts. "That has to be one of the lamest things I've ever heard."

He didn't mean for it to come off as harsh as it had sounded, but really the idea of himself, Odd, and Jeremie protecting the others was just dumb. It didn't even make sense. How could Odd expect to defeat a specter that no longer had any interest in him? He couldn't provide a distraction or anything because the specter knew that Odd's codes were gone. What did he expect to do, sing it a lullaby?

"At least he's trying," he heard Yumi mumbled ahead of him but didn't reply. He was pretty sure he wasn't supposed to hear that but he did and he felt a stab in his chest. See, what did I tell you? You can't do anything right.

He closed his eyes for a moment trying to rid the voice from his mind. Get out, I can't deal with you right now. Immediately William opened his eyes again and moved toward the ladder leading up to the bridge. They'd be in the factory in moments and on Lyoko in no time. It was easier to shut out the sounds of that voice when he was there. Climbing up after Yumi, it only took a couple of seconds to get through it and cross the bridge into the factory. From there, the two of them walked into the elevator. Yumi moved to the far left of the elevator as William walked in behind her and pressed the button. He didn't even venture to move closer to her. Her body language said it all; she was doing what he wanted and leaving him alone, making for an awkwardly painful elevator ride down to the scanner room.

A\N: I must say that this piece has, so far been one continuous day. There aren't any breaks in between "chapters" (really there are no chapters) so the chapters might have strange starts\ends. If that makes any sense at all?