What? She's posting another story? Yeah, I am. I know, I said "Trespass" was it for me, but at the time I made that statement, I wasn't in a very good place. RL events took more out of me than I thought it would, and some of the negativity that sometimes rears its ugly head in Fanfiction was more than I was prepared to deal with at the time.

Now, I've had time to regroup, of sorts, and well, I love this story. Edward's a flawed man who's made mistakes, and I love that side of his character. He's going to try…hard. I hope you'll accompany him on his journey as he continues to learn from his family and from the situations into which he's thrust.

Disclaimers (and there are a few): I'm not in the military, and I've never been an Army wife, but I have a niece and nephew who are and I'm close to them, so I've had the opportunity to draw from their experiences. Now, they don't know SK does this, so I couldn't hone in on a lot of details, but I did try to research things. If something isn't exactly right, I'd appreciate it if you'd give me a little creative license. I'm also not a mechanic, but I did try to research that as well, so I hope you motorheads will give me a pass. Lastly, I'm not SMeyer, so I don't own these characters. But, I'm sure that will be blatantly apparent.

##

The End and the Beginning

I was sitting on my front steps of the barracks where I'd been staying since I got back from my most recent deployment. I'd arranged for my things to be transported to my final destination when I was ready for them, and I was waiting for a friend to stop by to say good-bye. I'd just returned from a year in Afghanistan to coordinate the transport of equipment back to the States with the troop draw-down. My return coincided with my retirement date, and while I wasn't sure how I'd handle being a civilian again, I wasn't unhappy about getting out.

I'd enlisted right out of high school because I needed a good job to support my new family. The Army seemed like the best idea since I'd gotten my high school girlfriend pregnant and married her as soon as we graduated. The Army offered housing and health care which took two things off my plate to worry about, so I enlisted. And my Bella, she was my support system.

For fifteen years, I moved my family…Bella, our daughter Rosalie, and our son Jasper, all over the country. I survived multiple deployments, some into war zones, and some at foreign bases, and my wife became a master packer and planner, keeping our family functioning regardless of the location.

We were Army strong all the way until five years ago when I was actually stationed at Yakima Training Center which was about five hours away from both of our families in Forks, Washington. We lived in Ellensburg, which was about thirty-five miles from Yakima, and Bella and the kids loved it. I liked being close enough to our families to spend weekends with them, but as was inevitable, with my eventual promotion to Master Sergeant came another move…to Kentucky.

That was the move Bella wasn't willing to make. Our Rosalie was fourteen, and Jasper was twelve, and Bella wanted Rose to have a normal high school experience, so she had one move left in her…back to Forks. If I wasn't willing to get out, then they'd make the move without me, and I'd be making the move to Kentucky without them.

In all honesty, we hadn't been getting along well at the time and if I thought about it, things had been stressed between the two of us over much of the time we'd been together because we were too young when we got married and with me being gone a lot it just wasn't conducive to a happy marriage. When I called to tell her I was being deployed to Iraq, she asked me for a divorce. Since I wasn't willing to budge on my position I was going to stick it out until I had my twenty years in, I gave it to her with little hassle.

I didn't believe there was such a thing as a friendly divorce, but we actually had one. Hell, I still loved her, if I was being honest, but we'd grown apart, and I guess we were both stubborn at the time to fight for us, so it ended.

We still spoke a lot, even though we weren't married anymore, and she consulted me on every decision regarding the kids. When JC got into trouble after he turned sixteen, she called me regarding what I thought his punishment should be. I still laughed about it to this day.

"Edward, how are you?" she asked as she caught me one Saturday afternoon when I was washing my new Tahoe. I was set to deploy the next month back to Afghanistan where contact would mostly be through the computer via Skype or e-mail, so I was happy just to get to talk to her on the phone.

"Hey, babe. I'm fine. What's up?" I asked without thinking.

She was quiet for a minute and then she giggled the way I loved. "Did you forget we aren't married anymore? We've been divorced for almost four years, you know."

I sighed, hating the thoughts flooding my mind that I should have never let it happen in the first place. "I know, but old habits die hard. So, what's up? Just calling to shoot the shit?"

"God, I wish. JC got arrested last night by my dad. He and Emmett McCarty got caught drinking at a dance. He's got a week's worth of in-school suspension, and then another three weeks of detention. I have to go to court with him next month to find out how much trouble he's in with the cops.

"Dad told me it would go in his favor if I showed up with a plan we'd worked out together regarding the punishment we've levied, and I thought we should talk about it."

I covered the phone and groaned. My son was going to be a hell-raiser just like me. He needed me to play a more active role in his life, and with me being thousands of miles away, it was pretty damn hard to parent over the phone.

"Damn that boy. Is he around?" I asked.

"Right now, he's cleaning out the garage. I thought maybe we should talk first, and then you can call him and yell at him and then we'll tell him what his punishment is. Does that sound reasonable?" she asked.

I scoffed. "The phone call from me is going to be the last one he gets on his cell phone. You didn't take it away already?" My tone was harsh, and she didn't deserve it because she was taking up the slack as Mom and Dad while I was in Kentucky. It wasn't a role she wasn't used to, and I felt like shit about it.

"Sarge, mind your tone, please. I'm doing everything I can. So, I'll take away his phone, and we can ground him until school is out, but I'm teaching summer school this year so it's going to be hard for me to monitor him with being gone every weekday morning," she reminded.

While we were married and after the kids were in school, she took college courses when she could and after the divorce, she took courses full-time to finish up. After her certification, she got a job at Forks High where she taught English and Literature classes. I was very proud of her, and even went back to Seattle for her graduation.

"I'm sorry, baby. Look, let me make some calls and call you back. I need to check into a few things and see if I can set something up that will guarantee JC won't have much time to get into trouble. I'll call you back in an hour, okay?"

"Thanks, Sarge. Are you okay? Getting everything ready for your deployment?" she asked with concern in her voice.

"Yeah. I'm storing my stuff here and moving back to base. When I come back, I'll have to find another place if I stay in. I still haven't decided. I'd like to come to Washington next week if I can get the time off to see the kids before I go," I asked, never assuming anything.

"Everyone would love to see you. I can pick you up if you'd like," she offered.

"I'd love that, Bella. I'll call you back."

My son, the cocky little shit, ended up spending the summer working two jobs to pay off the goddamn fine. The worst part of it for him was he worked where his grandfathers could keep an eye on him. At the hospital where my dad worked, JC worked nights as a janitor which was apparently the worst time in the world because that was when most of the work was done around the hospital as the patients slept.

For Charlie, Bella's dad, he worked painting their house and doing a lot of lawn care work around their place. He learned his lesson, and when I went to visit him and Rose for a week before I deployed, I read him the riot act as much as possible.

I also spent a lot of time watching the woman I was married to for fifteen years. The families were all friendly, and they had a party for me on the Saturday night before I left to return to Kentucky. For the first time in four years, I kissed Bella on the lips before she left. It brought all the old feelings rushing back.

"Sarge, we're gonna take off. Rosalie has finals to study for and projects to complete. Her transcripts have to be sent to UW by the middle of June so her admission is complete. Our little girl is going to college, Edward." She had tears in her eyes, and I felt like a guilty son-of-a-bitch because I wouldn't be there to take my little girl and all her stuff to settle her in her dorm like a lot of other dads would have the pleasure and pain of doing.

I pulled Bella into my arms and held her while she cried. I knew she wasn't looking forward to Rosalie going to college any more than me, but she wanted her to have a regular college experience, and that included her living in Seattle. God knew I was going to worry about it while I was away.

She pulled away, using the sleeve of my t-shirt to dry her eyes which made both of us laugh. "Don't be a fucking hero, you understand me? A lot of people need you, Edward. Our children need you, and I…" before she could finish the sentence, I kissed her passionately.

Much to my surprise, she kissed me back. It was as if nothing had ever happened between us to tear us apart, and for a few fleeting moments, I could pretend I was still happy. I could pretend I still had Bella as my wife. I could pretend I still had a heart in my chest.

She pulled away and looked into my eyes with so many questions. Instead of asking them, she reached under my t-shirt and pulled out my dog tags. The surprise on her face when she saw my wedding ring was next to them wasn't hidden, but she'd tried not to give it away.

Just like she'd done every time I had to be away from her, she kissed them and held her hand against my naked chest over my heart. "You come home, Sarge."

"Hey, Cullen, you all packed up?" Alec George asked. He was a Lt. Colonel, and had been up my direct chain of command several times over my career when we ended up at the same base. When I landed at basic, he was a First Lieutenant fresh out of West Point. Despite the fact he was an officer and I was a grunt, we became friends, and over the twenty years I'd been in, we'd kept up with each other. He was actually instrumental in getting me transferred to Ft. Campbell so I could get promoted. He also blamed himself for my divorce, but I didn't. It was just something that happened when two people chose different paths…the wrong paths.

"Yes, sir, I am. You know, in two months when I'm officially retired, I won't have to address you as 'sir'." He laughed.

"Oh, yes, because you always follow the book. So, what's your plan after you get back? Start up some sort of gym and put soft civilians through a boot-camp experience?" he teased. I'd mentioned it one night when we were in Afghanistan and I was trying to figure out what to do for a civilian job. I thought we were brainstorming. He was just collecting ammunition to humiliate me with when he had the chance.

"With all due respect, sir, fuck off. I've got a buddy back home who owns a body shop, and we're in talks to maybe expand it. I got a kid in college now, and JC will be going before I know it. I've got expenses, so I don't have time to 'find myself'. I'm a mechanic, and a damn good one, so it's safe to stick with what I know.

"How about you? I thought Jane wanted you to retire. You've got your twenty-five in, Colonel." Jane was his wife, and she was all Army, but he'd told me when we were overseas she wanted him out and she wanted him to take a job working for his father's company, and I knew he wasn't too keen on the idea.

He sat down and pulled out a cigar, offering one to me. They were actually Cohibas, and I took it, giving him a cocked eyebrow because they were actually illegal. "Still got a bit of the bad boy in you?" I joked.

He clipped both of them and lit us up. "One year when I had time off, Janie and I went to the Dominican Republic for vacation before we had the kids. I bought and smuggled a humidor of these, paying an obscene amount of money for them. It was years ago, and I've kept them in a climate controlled case ever since. After these two, there's one left. That's for my retirement.

"I've smoked one on the important events in my life, and your leaving is an important event. You're a good friend, Cullen. Are you going to get your wife back?" he asked. He also knew I still loved Bella. I'd told him I wished I'd never re-upped one night after I was notified the divorce was final and a lot of drinks had been consumed. We didn't talk about it after that, and I'd thought he'd forgotten.

I took a pull of the Cuban and looked at him. "She's with someone else, or so I've been told. I think he's a gym teacher or some shit like that. Anyway, the kids tell me she's happy with him, and apparently, it's getting serious. Hell, he's even met my parents, and they love him. I'm not going back to Forks for Bella, Al. I'm going back to be there for my kids as much as I can. I've been an absent father for nearly all their lives, and it's time for me to put them first.

"I want Bella to be happy, Al, and I'm not the guy who can do that for her. I let her go a long time ago," I lied.

He chuckled, seeing through me completely. "So, did you say good-bye to your booty call?" That wasn't something I wanted to talk about either.

Chelsea Ford was a girl I'd met when I got back from overseas. She was too young for me, but she and I had worked off some energy together a couple of times. It was nothing serious for either of us, and I was sure she knew it. That was until her car pulled up in front of the barracks where Al and I were sitting with our cigars.

"Apparently, if you told her good-bye, it didn't stick," he teased.

"Stay here. This won't take a minute," I told him as I stubbed out my cigar and placed the rest of it on the step to get back to after the uncomfortable confrontation with the girl I'd spent time with a few nights before.

"Eddie, I'm glad I caught you. When are you leaving?" she asked as she hurried around the side of her car and wrapped her arms around my neck. I quickly pulled them down and held her hands in front of me.

"Chels, I told you, I'm leaving today. We said our good-bye the other night," I reminded.

"No, we didn't. You left me a note on your pillow, and you've ignored my calls. I had to take off this morning to make you tell me a proper good-bye. Look, there's nothing here that ties me to the area. I can go with you," she implored.

God, I wanted to die. I was a fool for ever hooking up with her in the first place, and I knew it. Why I hooked up with her when I got back from my deployment was stupid, but I was drunk, having not had alcohol in a year, and I was horny. I'd spoken to Bella on the phone earlier, and I missed the old homecomings.

She'd meet me on base with the kids and the night was for family. We'd eat pizza and they'd tell me everything I'd missed. After they went to bed, we'd open a bottle of wine and she'd tell me everything I'd missed that they didn't tell me. Then, I'd take my beautiful wife to bed and make love to her all night long. It was that connection I missed when I got back from Afghanistan, and I didn't find it with Chelsea, though I'd tried. After she fell asleep, I hot-footed it out of her apartment and went back to the base, scrubbing my skin like I was covered in Napalm to try to scrub the memory away.

I went to my rack feeling like I'd cheated on my wife, which wasn't the case at all, and I'd avoided being anywhere I thought Chelsea would be until two nights prior when I ran into her again and told her I was leaving town. Her suggestion of one-for-the-road sounded good to my horny ass, so I followed her home. Clearly, that was a big mistake. "How'd you get on base?" I asked.

"Colin Craig's wife, Andrea, just went to work at Mustangs with me. They live on post, and she got me in. Look, Edward, I love you. I know you told me not to get feelings for you, but I have them, and I know you have feelings for me, too. I know you think I'm too young, but Edward, I'm not. I swear I'm not."

I took a deep breath because I knew I was going to break her twenty-three year old heart. I had no business being with her in the first place, and her behavior reminded me why. "Look, Chelsea, you're a sweet kid, and I'm sure there are a lot of guys your own age who would love to have your attention.

"I'm much too old for you. Hell, you're only a few years older than my daughter. You deserve to have a young man fall for you, take you on dates, and surprise you with things you never expected. I'm not that guy, sweetheart. I will only ever love one girl and I fucked up and lost her. You have your whole life to find your special guy, but I'm not him.

"I'm sorry for being a prick to you. I never, ever meant to lead you on, but I don't have a heart to give anyone. I'm not good enough for you, and you deserve someone to love you the way I love Bella," I told her honestly. It all sounded pretty fucking cliché, but it was true. It was time for both of us to accept the fact I was still head-over-heels in love with my ex-wife.

Thankfully, she reached up and slapped the piss out of me, which let me know it had actually sunk in for her. She stomped off to her car and drove away, nearly running over my damn foot. I walked up to the steps where Al was sitting, laughing his ass off, and I pulled the cigar to my mouth. "Light me up."

##

Considering I'd been thousands of miles away from my family when I was overseas on my last deployment, the 2,500 miles I had to drive between Fort Campbell and Forks, Washington seemed to take for-fucking-ever.

Three days later, with minimal stops, I rolled into my parents' driveway at ten o'clock at night. My entire body ached because of all that time in the Tahoe, and I just wanted a beer, a shower, and a bed.

I slowly climbed out of the SUV and stretched, knowing I'd driven too long without a break, but I was eager to get home, so I ignored the aches and pains and drove. I had far too much caffeine in my system to think I'd get to sleep anytime soon, but maybe with a couple of beers and a few shots, I'd get there.

I heard the front door open and saw my parents and JC standing on the steps with big smiles. Of course, my mom was crying, but hell, she cried all the time, so it wasn't as if I wasn't used to it.

"Hey! Can I get some help?" I yelled. My son, who was actually taller than me now, ambled down the stairs. I noticed his hair was too long immediately, and he had that shit pulled back in a ponytail which I didn't like either.

The kid was huge. I knew it was from football, but it surprised the shit out of me. He wrapped his long arms around me and hugged me. "Pop, I'm glad you're home. I've really missed you." I hugged him back and fought to maintain my decorum because crying in front of my son wasn't an option.

After we pulled away, I saw just what I'd missed. My little boy had grown into a man. He'd turned seventeen while I was overseas, and he'd turned into a man. He was on the varsity football team, and I knew he was a hell of a tailback. Bella had actually sent me footage of his games from the year before, and the kid had speed and a tight grip. The guilt at missing all of it was going to eat me alive.

"How was the trip?" he asked as he went to the back of the Tahoe and popped the tailgate, grabbing my bags without my help.

"Long and boring. Is your sister here?" I asked as I followed him up to the porch. Just then, a large, tricked-out Jeep without a top came roaring up the driveway.

"Who the fuck is that?" I asked, blinded by all the lights on the damn thing.

"That's the hell I'm living. Posy's dating Emmett, and I hate it," JC hissed. Yeah, I didn't like it either.

"Edward Anthony, you get up here and hug me," Mom ordered from where she stood on the porch.

I hurried up the stairs and wrapped her in my arms, feeling her tears soak through my shirt. I kissed the top of her head and held her while she cried. I knew she'd missed me, and the letters she'd written while I was deployed had made certain I didn't forget it. What she didn't know, nor did anyone in the family, was that I was retiring. They thought I was only home for a visit, but I was done.

I'd have to go back to Kentucky when my vacation time was burned for the official ceremony, but I was truly done. It was time to concentrate on my family whom I'd shoved aside for too many years, and I had a lot of making up to do.

I felt Rosalie jump me from behind, and I let Mom go before I had all three of us on our asses on the porch. I grabbed my daughter's legs and turned my head toward hers. "You're too heavy to jump me like that, Posy," I teased.

She giggled as she slid down my back. I pulled her around me and engulfed her in a hug. I was so happy to see her I didn't notice she'd bleached her hair until I pulled away. Last time I saw her, she still had her mother's dark hair with some blonde highlights which was beautiful, and JC had my father's blond hair. Apparently, she'd taken the plunge and now both of my kids were blonde. I wondered what else I'd missed.

"Daddy, I'm not that heavy. You look good…well, except for the short hair and the gray," she teased as she reached up and brushed my buzz cut.

"Hey, little girl, every gray there is from you and your brother," I told her as I took her in. I felt sick. She was definitely a woman, and I just couldn't reconcile the beautiful young woman in front of me with blonde hair and the little brunette I'd played tea party or Barbies with when I was around. It wasn't something I was expecting at all.

"Damn, baby girl, you're not a baby anymore. Why'd you change your hair?" I asked as I looked into her bright blue eyes. Hell, the last time I'd really looked into them, they were greener than mine.

"Daddy, blondes have more fun, and before you ask, I traded in the ugly glasses for contacts a few years ago. Now, I'm getting colored contacts. How long are you here?" she asked with a big smile.

"Let's go inside and talk. We all have a lot to talk about," I told them. Everyone started inside, and Dad grabbed my hand.

"You got no love for your old man?" he asked.

I laughed as I hugged him. When we pulled back, he cocked an eyebrow at me. My dad knew me better than nearly anyone, and he knew what I wanted to know. "Is it serious?"

Dad shook his head. "I'm not exactly sure. He's Jasper's football coach, and he's a decent guy, son. He gets along with Charlie and Renee, and the one time he's been here, he's actually made a good impression. As far as I know, there's no wedding in the near future, but…"

I looked at him. "But, what?"

"Jake asked me if you had a girlfriend because he's apparently worried about you."

I smiled cockily. "What did you tell him?"

"I said you'd been away for a year, and you didn't have time for a girlfriend. He looked worried, son."

I chuckled. "He better be," I said as I walked into the house. If the boyfriend was worried, well, maybe I had a shot at making up to Bella for all those years of following me around the country. I hoped to fuck I did.

\\\

Housekeeping: In case it wasn't clear, Bella and Edward are both in their late thirties. Rose is nineteen, and Jasper is 17. I should have said up top that the italicized things are flashbacks, or sometimes internal thoughts, but I think it's pretty obvious.

Anything else comes to mind that confuses you, let me know. I hope you'll take the trip with me. (FYI – The story is finished, so there won't be the delays in posting like there are with "Trespass." I'll never start posting a story that's not finished again…Momma doesn't work well under pressure!)

I'd love to hear from you. Thank you for reading.

Till next time…xoxo

(All notes won't be this long, I swear!)