Christmas Choices' Epilogue

"It appears your memory is fine, Dina." The Agency doctor put the photo album away. "Do you have any questions for me?"

"No, sir. May I be excused?"

He stole a quick peek at the one-way mirror. "Of course, Dina. By the way, I'm really impressed with how you carried yourself this mission."

Dina gave him her most winning smile. "Thank you, Doctor." Because he was part of the Social Welfare Agency, she felt that ember of pride, that programmed response to anyone from the Agency giving her praise. However, it wasn't like when Paolo did that; when he said anything like that, her heart felt like it was going float away.

She closed the door and leaned against the wall, grateful he hadn't asked the one question she dreaded the moment she saw him. What was his name again?

The next door opened. Priscilla rushed out, crouched, and hugged her. "Oh, Dina! You are so sweet!"

At her words, Dina's spirits soared. Again, not as much as if Paolo had said those same words, but much more so than when the doctor lauded her. She wrapped her arms around the brown-haired young lady, but as soon as she did, a guilty pang stole that joy away. Her smile shrank, faded. "Thank you, Priscilla."

"Is something the matter, Dina?"

"Well, our gifts got wet when they attacked Signore Dori- I mean Dominic. I had to drop them to protect Signore Paolo."

"Of course, Dina. That's what we pro- uh, that's what we trained you to do, right? You did great."

"Thank you, Priscilla." She looked away. "But, I'm afraid we won't be able to give you your gift in time for Christmas. It's out for dry cleaning. Oh! I shouldn't have said that! I'm sorry! I didn't mean to give it away!"

Priscilla kissed her forehead. "That's fine, dear. I didn't have any idea what to get you."

"Well, Signore Paolo gives me dolls…"

"That's his gift, Dina. I don't want to copy him. But … I still don't know what to give you. Do you have any suggestions?"

Dina nudged a spot on the carpet with one of her patent-leather shoes. "Uh… I'm not sure if I should ask it…"

"Go ahead, dear. I promise, if I can, I'll do it!"

She looked back at Priscilla, her eyes brighter than before.

"I promise, Dina. Tell me, please." The young woman looked at Dina, waiting.

"Well, remember I was talking to Nonna Lorelli, right?

"Nonna Lorelli?" Priscilla blinked as she tried to recall the name.

"The woman in the hospital room? With Dominic? She was telling me a lot of things about her life, and how she spent Christmas. Then she died." The little girl took a deep breath. "Could you have Christmas dinner with Signore Paolo and me?"

"Of course, Dina. Where does he want to go?"

"I don't know. I mean, I didn't ask him yet."

"Wait, does he know I may be coming?"

Dina looked down at her shoes.

"That's very sweet of you, Dina, but you shouldn't invite other people to someone's Christmas dinner. What if he has plans?"

Dina looked up at the data analyst. "He didn't tell me any. He gave me a doll, and told me Merry Christmas. He didn't tell me we were going anywhere tonight."

Priscilla paused and tried to phrase the thought carefully. "Dina? He may have other plans. Perhaps ones that don't include either of us."

The little girl's eyes wavered and moistened. "But … but …" She looked away.

"Hey, it doesn't mean he's abandoning you, Dina. He may just have things he wants to do, that's all."

She nodded. "I wish he didn't get me another doll."

Priscilla knelt on one leg and lowered her self so she was looking level at Dina. "What did you want instead?"

"I wish he and you would have dinner with me, like Nonna Lorelli's family."

"Well, nothing is stopping us from having our own Christmas dinner, right?" Priscilla tried to sound upbeat.

"It's not the same."

"You miss Paolo?"

"No. I mean, yes. I always miss him when he's not here. But that's not why."

"This is important to you, right?"

Dina sucked in her lower lip, scrunched shut her eyes and nodded.

"Can you tell me why?"

"I don't want to be a monster, that's why!" Dina lowered her head on Priscilla's right shoulder so they were ear-to-ear. "I don't want to be … to be a monster."

"Wait, what?"

"Signore Inspector called me a monster." She sucked in a lungful of air. "He called me a monster. I don't want to be a monster. I don't, Priscilla. I don't."

"Shh. Shh. Don't cry, Dina. How would having dinner with me make you not a … how would it make you feel better?"

Dina took three more deep breaths, each ragged and uneven. "If I could have dinner with you and Signore Paolo, then we'd be a family, just like Nonna Lorelli's famly, right? Then, I would just be a normal girl. I would have a family. I would be normal."

Priscilla nodded, but her mouth grew dry.

"I would have a family. We would have Christmas dinner together. I would be just a plain, boring girl. But we can't. We can't, so I'm a monster." She turned, burying her damp face in Priscilla's hair. "I'm monster, Priscilla. I'm a monster, and I don't want to be ... to be one."

"Shh. Shh, Dina. You're not a monster. You aren't. Remember what you said the first day we met? 'I said it, so it must be true?' "

Dina's breathing slowed. "Uh-huh." She swallowed, the sound loud in Priscilla's ear.

"I'm saying it now. You are not a monster. You are not a monster. You are not a monster. Okay?"

Dina nodded.

Priscilla took a deep breath. As she exhaled, words escaped. "You're not the monster, Dina. We are."