So I have written this as a late birthday present/Christmas present for my friend Milkywaysupernova. I hope you enjoy it! As for the disclaimer, surprisingly I do not own anything to do with the Star Trek franchise no matter how much I want to.

Caffeine fix

"Computer, black coffee, hot," Jim Kirk ordered. He leant wearily against the wall waiting for his hot drink to replicate, and rubbed the bridge of his nose, body crying out for sleep.

"Denied," came the automated voice of the computer.

"What?" Jim exclaimed in frustration, he really needed that coffee. "Computer, black coffee, hot," the Captain tried again.

"Denied," the computer once again replied. Jim was sure it must be in his mind but it seemed that the machine was mocking him, enjoying the fact that he was unable to get his caffeine fix.

"Why the hell won't you make my coffee?" Kirk growled angrily.

"Question not recognised…" The computer carried on in the monotonous automatic voice that had never bothered the captain before but now irritated him more that he imagined was possible. He really needed to finish reviewing the files on his desk and without the caffeine he was likely to drift off to sleep half way through. There was only one more thing he could think of, if he had been a bit more with it he would try to fix whatever was wrong with the replicator. Unfortunately exhaustion was impeding his brain function and he just could not think straight.

He left his ready room and entered the bridge, the lighting was slightly dimmed and as usual gamma shift seemed to lack the vitality that was present during alpha and even beta shift. Speaking of which when the hell had gamma shift come on? He had gone into his ready room at the end of alpha; he could have sworn it was still only half way through beta. No wonder he was so tired, but those files simply had to be reviewed. Spock looked up at him and quirked an eyebrow, evidently he had not realised Kirk was still up. The Vulcan opened his mouth to speak but Kirk beckoned him over with a finger and his First Officer obliged.

"Can I help you Captain, I was unaware you were still awake?" Jim shrugged but when he looked up at Spock the Vulcan could see the exhaustion evident in his eyes.

"Uh, there seems to be something wrong with my replicator. If you could get someone up from engineering that would be great."

"Of course Captain but may I enquire as to why you didn't call someone up from your ready room? Can I assume that there is something wrong with the COM system also?" At this Jim put his face in his hands and rubbed vigorously, why was his mind moving so slowly?

"No Mr Spock, I just did not think of that." Once again Spock quirked an eyebrow at him.

"And what is wrong with your replicator. It is logical assume that engineering will ask when I call them."

"Oh, nothing major. I just am trying to order a black coffee but it keeps denying it." Spock's facial expression changed almost imperceptibly, if it had been anyone else they would not have noticed. But the Captain knew his First Officer well and he also knew that the expression Spock was wearing was the Vulcan equivalent of sheepishness.

"What? What is it?" Kirk demanded, obviously Spock knew something that he did not.

"Sorry Captain but your replicator is not broken."

"Well why can't I get my coffee?" Kirk asked, folding his arms across his chest.

"Dr McCoy gave me a list of items, he told me to program the replicators so that you would not be able to synthesise any of the substances." Kirk stood with his mouth agape, Spock stood in front of him having schooled his expression back into one of neutrality whilst trying to gauge his friend's reaction.

"What was on this list?" Kirk demanded. He was going to have to have a word with Bones about this.

"I believe it was a list of your allergies and a few other things. I am sorry Captain; I do not know the doctor's reasoning. I assume he has your health in mind, if you want details he is the one you should be talking to."

At this Kirk nodded his head. "Bones is just trying to get back at me for something I am sure. Anyway, thank you Mr Spock, you have been most helpful. You may return to your post." Spock nodded in reply and sat back in the chair. He watched as Kirk left the bridge, the makings of a smile playing at his lips before once again carefully controlling his expression.

Kirk knew for a fact that Bones was on gamma shift that week so headed straight down to medlab. Bones was sitting in his office and looked incredibly surprised to see Jim walking in. He rarely ever came down unless he was dragged in or another crew member had been seriously injured. Neither of which had happened so he went out to meet his friend.

"Are you alright Jim?" McCoy asked, scanning over his friend's wearied form with his eyes.

"Oh yes, brilliant, but I would be a lot better if I was able to drink coffee."

"Ah," Bones stated, realising why Jim was down there; that made a lot more sense. He escorted Jim into his office and sat him on the sofa before returning to his chair.

"It looks like you could do with a good sleep and not a caffeine fix." Kirk shook his head.

"I can't, there are some files I need to review. Starfleet Command have requested a full report on the ship's status. That means I have to review a report from every department head." Bones frowned in concern.

"I know Jim, remember, you asked me for a report two days ago." A look of confusion passed over Jim's features before a look of frustration took its place.

"Oh yeah," he said slowly, rubbing his eyes and yawning. Damn the kid looked exhausted. "Anyway, I have five more to go I'm trying to get through Scotty's report, you know what Scotty's reports are like," he groaned.

"Why the hell would I know what Scotty's reports are like damn it? I'm a doctor not an engineer." At this Jim smirked.

"Well they're hellish. But I need to get through them tonight because I need to send the data packet off by 1200 hours. And I'm on alpha so I really need to get this done. And I need a coffee but you had to go ahead and prevent me from having it. Why the hell would you do that?"
"Because I am tired of seeing you this tired, it isn't the first time this has happened. I thought limiting your caffeine intake might help you sleep when you are supposed to. Anyway, you're restless enough as it is most of the time, the last thing you need is a stimulant."

"But I need this Bones," Jim whined and pouted causing Bones to chuckle.

"That look doesn't work on me kid. Anyway, I know for a fact that Spock can review those files. Get him to do it instead and get some rest. Caffeine is no substitute for a good night's sleep."

Jim waved his hand dismissively at his friend causing the doctor to emit a guttural growl but Jim didn't seem to notice.

"And why did you program the replicators so I could no longer eat any good food?"

"By 'good food' you better not mean the food you are allergic to."

"But why did you do that, I like strawberries!" At this McCoy shook his head in pure frustration.

"Yes, I know you like strawberries. You tell me like strawberries every time you eat one and then come down here with swollen lips claiming you thought that it was 'just flavouring'. Dammit man, even if it is just flavouring you know the likelihood is you'll be allergic to that too."

"But Bones, I like them." Jim sounded just like a spoiled child and he'd had enough. He had better things to be doing.

Throwing his arms up in the air he stood up and Kirk watched him closely. "Fine, you want coffee then I'll go and get you coffee. Just don't come crying to me when you collapse with exhaustion." McCoy was sure it was close to happening, damn idiot looked dead on his feet. He began to storm from the room but just before he left he turned to see a smirking Kirk.

"You did that on purpose didn't you? Annoy me into getting you a coffee because you know Spock is too stubborn to give in." At this Kirk nodded almost gleefully.

"Yes, and it worked too! Get me that coffee Bones; I will continue to annoy you if you don't." At this the doctor began to swear under his breath but left his office to carry out Jim's request.

A couple of minutes later he re-entered the office, steaming cup of coffee in hand. Bones headed over to Jim, a frown plastered on his face. "Are you sure you want to push yourself this much Jim, get Spock to do the files. You need to sleep." At this Kirk shook his head.

"No, just give me the damn coffee. Spock is busy at the moment anyway." The older man seriously doubted the validity of that statement.

"I'd just like to say that I do not agree with this."

"Yes, I know, you never do agree with anything I ever do." Kirk leaned forwards to grab the coffee but instead felt something sting his neck.

"Damn it!" he shouted, hand flying automatically to his neck. He looked up angrily at his friend. "What the hell was th-" he managed to say before collapsing unconscious back into the sofa.

Carefully putting to coffee down Bones removed Kirk's shoes before manoeuvring him so he was lying on the sofa. He looked down at his friend fondly. "Idiot," he muttered, shaking his head but smiling. Dimming the lights he headed up to the bridge, he needed to talk to Spock.

I hope you enjoyed that short oneshot. Merry Christmas to you all and to Milkywaysupernova, happy late birthday! :D