Based off of '333 Ways to Get Kicked Out of Walmart' and '333 and More Ways to Get Kicked Out of HQ'. Rated T. Crack. Contains all characters and rare instances where the thing known as sanity appears. Winner of 'Best Anthology' at the 2015 Hetalia Awards.

Petunia married a biochemist, and Harry grew up reading science and science fiction. Then came the Hogwarts letter, and a world of intriguing new possibilities to exploit. And new friends, like Hermione Granger, and Professor McGonagall, and Professor Quirrell... COMPLETE.

Russia has been summoned again by England. He wandered around without knowing where he was located expect that he was still in England. The violet eyed Nation discovers a baby on a door step and on the spot decided to be the one to raise the baby Harry.

WHEN A MAN LOVES A DOG, PERHAPS TOO MUCH.

16 year old Alfred F. Jones had it good until his parents were killed. Now he has to live with his half-brothers, and he's trying to find his place in his new school. But one day, the Russian kid and his sisters catch his eye. so what now? RussiAmerica

AU As the soldier marches, he rethinks the morality of war. When he comes across a little girl and her sister, he must justify both his actions and war. Chapter Four: He said he'd come back. He said it would be soon.

Francis and Antonio decide to become Sex Ed. teachers at the local middle school. Rated for so many things.

"He wasn't entirely sure how he'd felt when he'd been kidnapped." Russia decides he wants a new toy, and that Canada will do nicely... and gets a bit more than he bargained for. Snapped!Canada oneshot.

I DONT EVEN KNOW

Italy finds and reads Germany's diary in hopes of learning more about his friend. Germany x Italy : Lots of fluff. T for language.

When a nation ceases to exist, he becomes a mortal. This is an AU in that the end of the Cold War meant not only the dissolving of the Soviet Union, but also made it impossible for the Russian Federation to form in its place.

'It seemed fascinating to the German that an entire nation's fate, including all his or her people, rests in ink on a chopped down tree.' Pretty much a story about what would happen if something worse happened to Germany after WW2. T to be safe. R&R

America finds himself lost in shock in the wake of Kennedy's assassination, and receives comfort from an unexpected source.

I've had enough... Snapped!Canada Rated for gore, violence, and character death.

"I thought you ver an angel…" Mathew has found a stranger covered in blood in the snow. And, with the price of helping him, Mathew might just have to restart a war he hadn't even known occurred. AU fic, USUK, later mention of GiriPan, GerIta, RusCan.

One-Shot. France speaks nonsense about dead nations with the vague goal of upsetting Germany. Nazi!GermanyxFrance

On April 25, 1945 on a river in Germany-after decades separated by the wall of ideology-Alfred finally gets the chance to see him. Historical/WWII era RusAme.

This was supposed be humour, but I guess that sort of went nowhere. Instead, I have this random drabble-like ficlet thing about Remus, Sirius, and a pencil. It's really not as pointless as it sounds... Oneshot. Please R&R

Remus goes to confront Sirius about his drinking and ends up falling in love all over again.

Giant. The first impression. It wasn't as big as China's great wall, but it was impressive enough with all things considered. Contains Rape. Don't like don't read.

The war is over, but for Francis and Ludwig nothing is well. Implied Fra/Ger.

The Cold War begins to thaw and America is faced with his biggest challenge yet: to get Russia to sample American cola.

"Argh!" Screaming. There was screaming. It was too loud. He didn't like it. The screaming was interrupting his cooking.

"Harry has a girlfriend," Remus says in a hushed voice, but Harry can still hear him from the bottom of the stairs. He shouldn't eavesdrop, but it's about him, so he has a right to know what they're saying. Remus/Sirius. AU. One-shot.

Over the vast distances of oceans, seas, and continents, Alfred F. Jones, Black Ops extraordinaire and legend on XBOX Live, faces his Russian foe in the midst of the digital Siberian tundra. All while whispering sweet nothings into their earpieces.

"He's immortal, and he's got a hundred year clock to find him. To find him before he's spirited away and dumped into another dimensional wasteland. And it begins to feel hopeless." Multiverse AU, dimension traveler!Alfred. RusAme.

Cold War era. Russia stalks his prey. Fail summary is fail.

As Russian-American relations warm up in 2010, America is invited to Russia's Victory Day parade for the very first time. America proceeds to freak himself out about it.

"It's not like I want to hear his voice... or I want to talk to him..." .:Late night impulses open doors to all sorts of possibilities:.

There was a boy who ran away from his not-so-evil stepfamily and found a house on chicken legs. And then he fell in love. RusAme. Crackish.

Follow resident high school student extraordinaire Alfred Jones through his junior year in the form of slang-ridden diary entries. A story of detention, something that could have been love, something that is actually love, loss, love again, a lot of foreign exchange students for some reason, and very bad humor because I was thirteen when I wrote this, give me a break.

Alfred, Prussia, and Canada sing a song by the Midnight Beast, and Italy discovers how to tell if you're drunk. YAOI CRACK! Contains GerIta PWP, and Prussia/Austria LMFAOage. Other couplings inside. Please read and review!

Ludwig couldn't explain why, but when the screams were bouncing off the walls and piercing his ears, he probably felt more comforted than now.

It wasn't a war, otherwise there would have been two sides. Smoldering cities dot the once great continent of Europe and nations are wiped off the face of the earth by a single affirmation. And contrary to popular belief, not all is fair in love and war.

America finds an amazing new fast food restaurant but things get a little out-of-hand when he sees France dancing outside of his window! America X France. One-Shot.

Francis Bonnefoy has interested Arthur Kirkland from the moment they first met. But it's not a romantic attraction at all. Arthur can't shake the feeling that there is something very wrong with the exchange student.

America and Russia work together on a ground-breaking project in space.

Alfred makes possibly the last mistake he'll ever make. Originally crack but turned more serious as it went along... could be perceived as either C: russia/america, rated M for lemons

If Canada were like a boss. In case you couldn't tell, yes, it is a "Like a Boss" parody

America somehow thinks roleplaying as France and England with his brother is a good idea.

America contemplates the facade of idiocy he's always worn for the world and all the consequences associated with it. Unfortunately, the alternative just might be worse. One Shot.

LudwigxFeli Ludwig's just drinking at his usual bar, in his usual place, but most of the crew watching him in the background think he's drinking too much. Where's that Italian when you need him? Proceed with caution! MATURE SEXUAL CONTENT

Ludwig frowned. "...You've been crying again." 6k words of unhappiness, a happy ending. A few side pairings. Involves Holy Roman Empire, France being maimed, and the death of a lamp. Really more serious than I can make it sound.

"He had always had a flair for the dramatic. He'd always imagined that he'd go out in a burst of glory, guns blazing, defending the weak and innocent, to be remembered forever. He wished that he could still go out that way." Total Drabble, OOC, Suicide.

It was November 9, 1938 in Ober Ramstadt, Germany. Screams and shouts pierced the air; smog and smoke billowed out in blankets.

Alfred thought it was just going to be another boring gauntlet of lectures and salads, but this time things go a little differently than the normal, and Alfred can't help but think he liked it better this way. Lemon-Lime-ish.

A world meeting in the midst of World War Two itself? The nations are treading on very thin ice every step of the way. They'd better watch what they say. ***Rated M for lots of bad language and very sensitive subjects.***

AU Domestic Verse II : Matthew is sick. Francis stays home with him for the day. Also, a stuffed bear is born.

She has a beautiful garden, but there are only four flowers in it that can make her cry. -Vietnam

Francis is an epicure, obsessed with eating the finest foods. When you've eaten everything in the world, what's left to enjoy? Battle the insanity within or be consumed. Based off Evil Food Eater Conchita by Mothy. Changed to M for death and cannibalism

It was nothing more than a war to him. All he wanted to do was take his revenge on those who had hurt him and his people. Yet, despite the pain and suffering he inflicted, Italy remained there.

"Ich kann nicht!" Gilbert's voice rang through his body, a tremor of defiance amongst the fear. But he could not fight the cold. Following the dissolving of Prussia .

France loves to start his day with a little molestation...but when he decides to take on Japan, he may have made a mistake. A oneshot. Please read and review, I'm trying to get known on fanfiction here!

Russia, England, and France make an Alliance before the start of WWI. But France wants to be called something cool! The Metal Pipe Alliance? The Alliance of Love? Friends Forever? Why is it so hard to pick a name? Crack, Drabble, No pairings

Herakles tries to get Kiku to reciprocate some kind of PDA. He fails spectacularly even as everyone else wrecks Athens' classiest hotel with their ridiculous public sexual exploits. Giripan with disruptive background GerIta, USUK, Franada, Spamano et al

Bathtime is sure enjoyable when your rival walks in on you naked in the bathtub. FrUk

Alfred F. Jones isn't gay. Just read his diary; you'll see. AU, Alfred/Ivan among others. RE-UPLOADED AND COMPLETE :

He could be patient. He would wait. He would watch. He would get his prey. Dark.

After years of being forgotten, Matthew Williams finally snaps. M Rating for: Violence and Gore.

One-shot, Yaoi, LietPol, smut. Based on the "While You Were Gone" strip. Poland catches glimpse of Lithuania's scars and throws a hissy fit over it. After that, their true feelings come to light.

Harry. Cedric. Slash. Love in the time of death. Slight voyeurism. One shot. Prepare yourself. *Special note: This is meant to be a comedy. So please enjoy how ridiculous it is. Because I want nothing more than for you to go "WTF?".

Always three times. No more, no less. He was afraid or doing wrong, maybe knocking one forth time. And four times was not okay. Three was very good. No more, no less. Simple and plain.

A little sign hanging on the door was what caused so much mayhem among the nations of the world. Giripan, little smex scene and strong language.

Germany invades Poland. Russia comes too. The equestrian tack comes in handy. GermanyxPolandxRussia, Bondage.

No one knew he was going. Not even her. He didn't even know why he came. It would change nothing. The war would still have happened. The missing were still missing. The dead still dead. And the ghosts would always haunt him.

"He was so very tired of pain." N. Italy during the Black Plague of the 1300s.

Germany can't decide what to do on his day off. Luckily, France and Prussia came up with a good idea. France/Prussia/Germany fic

A little drabble for my OTP of FrancexJeanne d'Arc. France grieves his love.

Russia must avenge the death of his precious. One shot, pwp, rape written by me and schoolgirl-cheesesculpture, for Sakily who was our 100th reviewer for our story To Keep You.

Toris and Feliks' separation begins to take it's toll. LietXPoland. Human names used. Rated M for mature subject matter, violence, and possible coarse language.

Russia is in Princeton for a world meeting, and he collapses in front of Wilson. Sounds like a case for Dr. House! No pairings.

Greece discovers lolcats. Greece/Japan

Springtime in Paris, 1980. Ludwig seeks out a certain Frenchman to set matters straight after WWII.

Canada does like to say ‘I’m sorry’ a lot. But it's only because he’s drunk. Mostly.

In the midst of war, she cogitates. The Vietnam War was a terrifying experience. Vietnam was torn on what to follow - her heart or her mind. What is love and what is logic? Hints: Vietnam/America, Vietnam/France, Vietnam/Russia. Oneshot for now.

America screws up one time too many, and Switzerland gets angry enough to lay aside his neutrality to deliver appropriate punishment. Neither of them is quite expecting what happens... Co-written with Demaisu.

When a Marine goes missing, his twin brother comes to NCIS looking for help. Then things get weird.

“Sticks and stones may break my bone, but Vash’s gun smex excites me!”

Remus was just trying to do his homework in peace. Now he's being attacked by drunken Marauders with the aim of making him equally drunk. What did he ever do to deserve this? Marauder's Era, one-shot, no pairing. Pure, unadulterated crack.

Or also known as: 'Why Itachi should never space out'. Itachi pairs people off, Hidan is amused, and Deidara struggles not to kill himself. Slight SasoDei and KakuHida. Brain breakage. You have been warned.

Neji Hyuuga...you're going to hell. Haven't you ever heard of them? Lust, pride, gluttony, wrath, envy, sloth, greed. They're known as the seven deadly sins, you know. How many have you committed thus far?

Because, after all, some things are so annoying that you just have to laugh at them. AU, Hidan/Temari, crack.

Companion to White Dog Night. Neji and Hanabi form a bond through secret training sessions, and they will need it to face the consequences of Hinata's last act as a Hyuuga.