My profile!

Name: Nathaniel (Not Nathan. Nathans have no soul.)

Hair color: Blond

Eye color: Green

Skin color: Pale

Music likes: Pretty much most of everything. But not rap. NEVER rap

Favorite color: Green

Favorite sports team: The University of Utah Utes

Favorite anime: Kino no Tabi

Favorite subject: Writing

Favorite book: Il Principe by Niccolo Machiavelli

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Challenges time! This is where I'm going to post all my ideas for fics that I either lack the time or skill to write. I don't intend to try to rank them by dificulty or anything, and I only request that you PM me if you accept they are:

Naruto the Gunman
Catagory: Pure Naruto
Prompt: Naruto uses guns to become the ultimate shinobi. Standard firearm is either a Colt Single Action Army, a sawed off and stockless AIAW, or a McMillan Tac-50 of the same conditions, all moddified to fire chakra instead of bullets. May bring in other weapons, but guns are 100 unique to him. Pairing not required, but a NaruTen is recomended. Guns must be Akimbo style.
Special Conditions:
#1: Does not bother to vary his style from his guns. If someone mannaged to find a way around the McMillan, they'd find a way around a fire dragon.
#2: Most ninja are able to think "He's pointing that thing at me. I should run away," so that the gun is not an I win button.
#3: There are no loading problems.
#4: Kankuro is shot (repeatedly) in the first 10 chapters.
#5: Naruto does NOT learn the Kage Bunshin. I DO NOT want a 'More Dakka' effect.
#6: NO YAOI! It's not that I hate it and homosexuals, it's just that I intend to read this.
#7: Should you be so inclined, Naruto may even be a girl.

Naruto the Chivalrous
Catagory: Pure Naruto
Prompt: Naruto as a pure hero, without any of the 'stab him in the back' tactics or assasinations. Think samurai, not shinobi. No pairings. Think 'Lawful Good.'
Special Conditions:
#1: Naruto uses his fists and jutsu. NOTHING ELSE!
#2: The Uchiha Massacre is deemed unjust and he aids Sasuke in killing Danzou, before hog-tie-ing the Uchiha and draging him back
#3: NO YAOI!!

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Hey, I found this psychological disorder quiz online. Anyone want to see my results? Here they are!!

Disorder Rating

Paranoid: High

Schizoid: Very High

Schizotypal: Very High

Antisocial: Very High

Borderline: Very High

Histrionic: High

Narcissistic: Medium

Avoidant: Very High

Dependent: High

Obsessive-Compulsive: High

URL of the test: http:///misc/personality_disorder_

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New Laws of Anime Physics:

Originally compiled and edited by Darrin Bright and Ryan Shellito. Re-edited and added to by SharpLight before being shamelessly copied and used by InfinityorNone.

1. Law of Metaphysical Irregularity
The vast majority of the normal laws of physics do not apply.

2. Law of Differentiated Gravitation
Whenever someone or something jumps, is thrown, or otherwise is rendered airborne; gravity is reduced by a factor of 4.

3. Law of Nonatmospheric Sonic Amplification, First Law of Anime Acoustics
In space, loud sounds, like explosions, are even louder because there is no air to get in the way.

4. Law of Constant Thrust, First Law of Anime Motion
In space, constant thrust equals constant velocity.

5. Law of Mechanical Mobility, Second Law of Anime Motion
The larger a mechanical device is, the faster it moves. Armored Mecha are the fastest objects known to human science.

6. Law of Temporal Variability
Time is not a constant. Time stops for the hero whenever he does something 'cool' or 'impressive'. Time slows down when friends and lovers are being killed and speeds up whenever there is a fight.

7. First Law of Temporal Mortality
'Good Guys' and 'Bad Guys' both die in one of two ways. Either so quick they don't even see it coming, OR it's a long drawn out affair where the character gains much insight to the workings of society, human existence or why the toast always lands butter side down.

8. Second Law of Temporal Mortality
It takes some time for bad guys to die... regardless of physical damage. Even when the 'Bad Guys' are killed so quickly they didn't even see it coming; it takes them a while to realize they are dead. This is attributed to the belief that being evil damages the Reality Lobe of the brain.

9. Law of Dramatic Emphasis
Scenes involving extreme amounts of action are depicted with either still-frames or black screens with a slash of bright color (usually red or white).

10, Law of Dramatic Multiplicity
Scenes that only happen once, for instance, a 'Good Guy' kicks the 'Bad Guy' in the face, are seen at least 3 times from 3 different angles.

11. Law of Inherent Combustibility
Everything explodes. Everything.
First Corollary - Anything that explodes bulges first.
Second Corollary - Large cities are the most explosive substances known to human science. Tokyo in particular seems to be the most unstable of these cities, sometimes referred to as "The Matchstick City".
Third Corollary – Anything that doesn’t bulge before it explodes will either be on fire or tick.

12. Law of Phlogistatic Emission
Nearly all things emit light from fatal wounds.

13. Law of Energetic Emission
There is always an energy build up (commonly referred to as an energy 'bulge') before Mecha or space craft weapons fire. Because of the explosive qualities of weapons, it is believed that this is related to the Law of Inherent Combustibility.

14. Law of Inverse Lethal Magnitude
The destructive potential of a weapon is inversely proportional to its size.
First Corollary- Small and cute will always overcome big and ugly. Also known as the A-Ko phenomenon.

15. Law of Inexhaustibility
No one EVER runs out of ammunition. That is of course unless they are cornered, out-numbered, out-classed, and unconscious, or female and attractive.

16. Law of Inverse Accuracy
The accuracy of a 'Good Guy' when operating any form of fire-arm increases as the difficulty of the shot increases. The accuracy of the 'Bad Guys' when operating fire-arms decreases when the difficulty of the shot decreases. (Also known as the Stormtrooper Effect)
Example: A 'Good Guy' in a drunken stupor being held upside down from a moving vehicle will always hit, and several battalions of 'Bad Guys' firing on a 'Good Guy' standing alone in the middle of an open field will always miss.
First Corollary - The more 'Bad Guys' there are, the less likely they will hit anyone or do any real damage.
Second Corollary - Whenever a 'Good Guy' is faced with insurmountable odds, the 'Bad Guys' line up in neat rows, allowing the hero to take them all out with a single burst of automatic fire and then escape.
Third Corollary - Whenever a 'Good Guy' is actually hit by enemy fire, it is in a designated 'Good Guy Area', usually a flesh wound in the shoulder or arm, which restricts the 'Good Guy' from doing anything more strenuous than driving, firing weaponry, using melee weapons, operating heavy machinery, or doing complex martial arts maneuvers.

17. Law of Transient Romantic Unreliability
Minmei is a bimbo.

18. Law of Hemoglobin Capacity
The human body contains over 12 gallons of blood, sometimes more, under high pressure.

19. Law of Demonic Consistency
Demons and other supernatural creatures have at least three eyes, loads of fangs, tend to be yellow-green or brown (but black is not unknown), and can only be hurt by bladed weapons. Supplementary notes: exceptions to this law are commonly found in Naruto and partially in Bleach.

20. Law of Militaristic Unreliability
Huge galaxy-wide armadas, entire armies, and large war-machines full of cruel, heartless, bloodthirsty warriors can be stopped and defeated with a single insignificant example of a caring/loving emotion or a song, often coupled with a rather large amount of explosives.

21. Law of Tactical Unreliability
Tactical geniuses aren't... until they are.

22. Law of Inconsequential Undetectability
People never notice the little things... Like missing body parts, or wounds the size of Seattle.

23. Law of Juvenile Intellectuality
Children are smarter than adults. And almost always twice as annoying.

24. Law of Americanthropomorphism
Americans in Anime appear in one of two roles, either as a really nasty skinny 'Bad Guy' or a big stupid 'Good Guy'.
First Corollary - The only people who are more stupid than the big dumb Americans are the American translators. (Sometimes referred to as the Green Line Effect.)
Second Corollary - The only people who are more stupid than the American translators are the American editors and censors.

25. Law of Mandibular Proportionality
The size of a person's mouth is directly proportional to the volume at which they are speaking or eating.

26. Law of Feline Mutation
Any half-cat/half-human mutation will invariably:
a) be female
b) will possess ears and sometimes a tail as a genetic mutation
c) and wear as little clothing as possible, if any
d) or any combination of those above.

27. Law of Conservation of Firepower
Any powerful weapon capable of destroying/defeating an opponent in a single shot will invariably be reserved and used only as a last resort.

28. Law of Technological User-Benevolence
The formal training required to operate a spaceship or mecha is inversely proportional to its complexity.

29. Law of Melee Luminescence
Any being displaying extremely high levels of martial arts prowess and/or violent emotions emits light in the form of a glowing aura. This aura is usually blue for 'good guys' and red for 'bad guys'. This is attributed to Good being higher in the electromagnetic spectrum than Evil.

30. Law of Non-anthropomorphic Antagonism
All ugly, non-humanoid alien races are hostile, and usually hell-bent on destroying humanity for some obscure reason.

31. Law of Follicular Chroma Variability
Any color in the visible spectrum is considered a natural hair color. This color can change without warning or explanation.

32. Law of Follicular Permanence
Hair in anime is pretty much indestructible, and can resist any amount of meteorological conditions, energy emissions, physical abuse, or explosive effects and still look perfect. The only way to hurt someone's hair is the same way you deal with demons... with bladed weapons!

33. Law of Topological Aerodynamics, First Law of Anime Aero-Dynamics
ANY shape, no matter how convoluted or odd-looking, is automatically aerodynamic.
First Corollary - The cooler and more futuristic it looks, the more aerodynamic it is.
Second Corollary- Humanoid mecha/mechanical human forms are the most aerodynamic things in the known universe.

34. Law of Probable Attire
Clothing in anime follows certain predictable guidelines.
--Female characters wear as little clothing as possible, regardless of whether it is socially or meteorologically appropriate. Any female with an excessive amount of clothing will invariably have her clothes ripped to shreds or torn off somehow. If there is no opportunity to tear off the afore-mentioned female's clothes, then she will inexplicably take a shower for no apparent reason (also known as the Gratuitous Shower Scene).
--Whenever there is a headwind, and Male characters will invariably wear a long cloak which doesn't hamper movement and billows out dramatically behind him.
First Corollary(Cryo-Adaptability) - All anime characters are resistant to extremely cold temperatures, and do not need to wear heavy or warm clothing in snow, with minor exceptions.
Second Corollary (Indecent Invulnerability) - Bikinis render the wearer invulnerable to any form of damage.
Third Corollary (Nude Hypnotism) – When a female character is rendered nude, all males in the immediate or implied vicinity will be susceptible to any and all commands.

35. Law of Musical Omnipotence
Any character capable of musical talent (singing, playing an instrument, etc.) is automatically capable of doing much more "simple" things like piloting mecha, fighting crime, stopping an intergalactic war, and so on... especially if they have never attempted these things before.

36. Law of Quitupular Aggultination
Also called "The Five-man Rule," when "Good Guys" group together, it tends to be in groups of five. There are five basic positions, which are:
a) The Hero/Leader
b) His girlfriend
c) His Best Friend/Rival
d) A Hulking Brute
e) A Dwarf/Kid
Between these basic positions are distributed several attributes, which include:
--Extreme Coolness
--Amazing intelligence
--Incredible Irritation

37. Law of Extradimensional Capacitance
All anime females (and some males) have an extradimensional storage space of variable volume somewhere on their person from which they can instantly retrieve any object at a moment's notice.
First Corollary (The Hammer Rule) - The most common item stored is a heavy mallet, which can be used with unerring accuracy on any male who deserves it. Other common items include costumes/uniforms, power suits/armor, and large bazookas.

38. Law of Hydrostatic Emission
Eyes tend to be rather large in Anime. This is because they contain several gallons of water, which may be instantaneously released at high pressure through large tear ducts. The actual volume of water contained in the eyes is unknown, as there is no evidence to suggest that these reservoirs are actually capable of running out. The reason water tends to collect in the eyes is because Anime characters only have one large sweat gland, which is located at the back of the head. When extremely stressed, embarrassed, or worried, this sweat gland exudes a single but very large drop of sebaceous fluid.

39. Law of Inverse Attraction
Success at finding suitable mates is inversely proportionate to how desperately you want to be successful. The more you want, the less you get.
First CorollaryUnfortunately, this law seems to apply to Otaku in the real world...

40. Law of Nasal Sanguination
When sexually aroused, males in Anime don't get erections, they get nosebleeds. No one's sure why this is, though... the current theory suggests that larger eyes means smaller sinuses and thinner sinus tissue (see Law #38 above). Females don't get nosebleeds, but invariably get one heck of a blush along the cheeks and across the nose, suggesting a lot of bloodflow to that region. Supplemental note: In some rare instances, I.E. lesbians and super fangirls, a nosebleed happens alongside the blush

41. Law of Xylolaceration
Wooden or bamboo swords are just as sharp as metal swords, if not sharper. This also applies to other wooden object I.E. chopsticks, chairs, est.

42. Law of Juvenile Omnipotence
Always send a boy to do a man's job. He'll get it done in half the time and twice the angst.

43. Law of Quadrotriscadecophobia
There is no Law #43.

44. Law of Nominative Clamovocation
The likelihood of success and damage done by a martial arts attack is directly proportional to the volume at which the full name of the attack is announced.

45. Law of Uninteruptable Metamorphosis
Regardless of how long or involved the transformation sequence or how many times they've seen it before, any 'Bad Guys' witnessing a mecha/hero/heroine transforming are too stunned to do anything to interrupt it.

46. Law of Flimsy Incognition
Simply changing into a costume or wearing a teensy mask can make you utterly unrecognizable to even your closest friends and relatives

47. First Law of Romantic Obliviocity
A male character is always ignorant to the obvious affections of a female.

48. Second Law of Romantic Obliviocity
A male character will always ignore all existing romantic connections a female has in order to ask her out on a date.

49. Law of Concussive Invulnerability
No character ever attains brain damage, regardless of however many concussions he or she has inflicted unto them. This is due to a cushioning affect, most likely due to the affects of law 38.

50. Law of Dental Perfection
A persons teeth are always clean and perfect, no matter how long it has been sense he or she has seen a tooth brush or any side of a dentist’s office.

51. Law of Temporal Realization/Third Law of Temporal Mortality
A villain will always have time to see an explosive right before it detonates. This is to give them time to prepare a face to look cool as they get caught in the explosion.

52. Law of Daskalos Deus Ex Machina
As a hero/heroine is about to be brutally slaughtered, his or her teacher will always step in at the last second to save him or her.

53. Law of Feminine Insectophobia
At least one female character will always be terrified of insects, arachnids, and other bugs.

54. Second Law of Anime Acoustics
Intelligence is inversely related to volume.

55. Law of Intelligent Motivation
Intelligence is inversely related to motivation

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Things I'm Working On

Checkmate: How real is the world to you? I promise, it'll be a bit less real after you've met him. Naruto has been many things, but now he is the puller of strings and twister of your world. Pairings are realistic, Naruto wields genjutsu, it WILL be awesome.
Type: Pure Naruto fanfiction, minimal AU or changes.
Status: in progress, current chapter at
Chapter Buffer: 3-5 chapters
Chapters Finished: Zero

Mark of Honour: Sometimes, plans change. Sometimes, they change for the better. Even when you can't win the grail, maybe you can still redeem yourself. Archer X Erza.
Type: Crossover of Fate/Stay Night and Fairy Tail, changes unknown
Status: In progress, still planning
Chapter Buffer: None
Chapters Finished: Zero