FarDareisMai2
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Joined 01-13-09, id: 1803005, Profile Updated: 11-24-15
Author has written 31 stories for Sookie Stackhouse/Southern Vampire Mysteries, and Twilight.

The newest round of self-appointed censors is making their way through this site. As such, most of the stories below have been edited. You can find all my uncensored stories at Archive Of Our Own under fardareismai2. They don't tolerate trolls like this.

This time the troll is /u/7306876/ Last time it was someone else. This is a sock account created and used solely for trolling purposes, because they're too cowardly to do anything under their actual accounts.

It's sad that after so many years, these small minded and clearly bored with their lives people will be driving away long time users and readers of fanfiction. However, because of AO3 the stories driven from here in prudish hysteria will live long lives. In fact, thanks to these trolls, there will be all new readers for them.

So, to those trolls: I'm sorry your lives are so devoid of joy and meaning that therefore you seek both joy and meaning in attacking others. You are pathetic, and I pity you your empty lives. I'm sure you will fap over your perceived victory here, emailing your cronies with cackles of glee, and believing you've done some kind of service to humanity. However, you haven't in the least. In fact, you're among the worst of humanity, because your concern is false, your purpose is self-serving and mean, and you utterly lack the courage of your conviction. But thank you for making sure even more people will probably read the stories now.

The owners of this site are even more to blame, as they have failed to provide any real guidelines as to what exactly constitutes "acceptable," or "explicit," or "adult" under their code, and if a story gets reported, they'll often just yank it without warning and without review. Thus, stories become subjected to the irrational, prudish, and bankrupt moral compasses of a variety of people, who simply do not understand how NOT to read something that they don't like. If you are really bothered by these turn of events, you should let your voices be heard by the owners/managers of the site.

The community of friends I found here when I initially posted these stories was (and is) wonderful, but this site no longer suits most of our needs.

So find me at AO3, or on twitter @fardareismai2


Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

The Experiment by SC Mom reviews
D.I.L.F. Contest Entry: Alice and Bella are best friends. Jasper is Alice's hot dad who Bella has been lusting over since high school. Now that Bella is all grown up and newly divorced, Alice thinks it's time for a little experiment. Rated M for a reason
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Chapters: 12 - Words: 46,521 - Reviews: 807 - Favs: 823 - Follows: 897 - Updated: 8/1/2019 - Published: 9/26/2009 - Bella, Jasper
Tropic of Virgo by In.a.blue.bathrobe reviews
He's a young but jaded musician writing lyrics for his band, and she's a naive, frustrated poet looking to break out of her shell; their words collide online. What happens when they meet in high school, unaware of their literary connection?
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Chapters: 37 - Words: 150,577 - Reviews: 20546 - Favs: 14,111 - Follows: 5,728 - Updated: 9/9/2013 - Published: 3/4/2009 - Complete
Of Kith and Kin by Chicklette reviews
"The greatest thing you'll ever learn is just to love, and be loved in return." -Nat King Cole. This story is about that. AH, Canon pairings.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Angst/Drama - Chapters: 24 - Words: 88,113 - Reviews: 4090 - Favs: 4,020 - Follows: 2,056 - Updated: 12/19/2011 - Published: 7/16/2010 - Bella, Edward - Complete
The Blessing and the Curse by The Black Arrow reviews
By pretending she is falling for Edward, Bella is fulfilling Esme's dying wish. But sexy, possessive Edward can read her mind. Will she ever get into his? Can Bella forget the pain of her teenage years, and can she resist his relentless seduction? AH.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Angst/Romance - Chapters: 22 - Words: 140,448 - Reviews: 14539 - Favs: 16,973 - Follows: 8,761 - Updated: 9/10/2010 - Published: 5/31/2009 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Say Something Else by vampireisthenewblack reviews
When he suffers the worst kind of heartbreak, Edward returns home, resigning himself to a lifetime of loneliness. But he had not counted on old friendships and old crushes. Edward is torn between old love and new... Slash, AH, OOC. Mature content.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Angst/Romance - Chapters: 12 - Words: 29,091 - Reviews: 660 - Favs: 227 - Follows: 123 - Updated: 5/28/2010 - Published: 3/30/2010 - Edward, Alec - Complete
Happy Birthday Zigster! by ZigsBDay reviews
This is a compilation of drabbles and one shots in honor of the fabulous Zigster. Hope you have a super special birthday girl! We love you! xo
Crossover - Twilight & Sookie Stackhouse/Southern Vampire Mysteries - Rated: M - English - Chapters: 9 - Words: 21,632 - Reviews: 53 - Favs: 14 - Follows: 1 - Published: 4/30/2010
Northman's Off Rivington by Zigster reviews
One night while Sookie is bar hopping with some friends on the Lower East of New York City she runs into, literally, a towering mystery of a man. AU - AH. Eric/Sookie
Sookie Stackhouse/Southern Vampire Mysteries - Rated: M - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 32 - Words: 99,261 - Reviews: 1642 - Favs: 854 - Follows: 581 - Updated: 4/21/2010 - Published: 1/25/2009 - Sookie, Eric - Complete
Deviation by Kyrene once Blood Roses reviews
A brother with a bullet in his brain, a tryst that should never have happened. A sister who thought she knew the future, one bond torn to weave two greater. “Life is twisted, and maybe it shouldn’t have happened, but it did.”
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 6,632 - Reviews: 49 - Favs: 54 - Follows: 9 - Published: 3/10/2010 - Alice, Edward - Complete
What Dreams May Come by scribeninja reviews
AH-AU-OOC Sookie has been dreaming about an amazing man lately, a man so perfect that there is no chance he's real. But what if he is? And what happens when she meets him? Rated M for later chapters. E/S COMPLETE
Sookie Stackhouse/Southern Vampire Mysteries - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 34 - Words: 140,191 - Reviews: 1231 - Favs: 498 - Follows: 332 - Updated: 3/8/2010 - Published: 4/27/2009 - Eric, Sookie - Complete
Son of a Preacher Man by LaViePastiche reviews
The wild son of a famous televangelist, Jasper likes to love ‘em and leave ‘em. Will he meet his match in Bella, who’s in love with his sister’s boyfriend Edward? And what happens when Edward finally notices her? AH, B/E
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 29 - Words: 189,838 - Reviews: 8254 - Favs: 4,915 - Follows: 3,039 - Updated: 3/8/2010 - Published: 5/12/2009 - Complete
Stars Fall Down by Chicklette reviews
What if the Cullens weren't vampires? What if they were gods instead? Bella/Jasper/Edward
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Supernatural - Chapters: 2 - Words: 5,283 - Reviews: 71 - Favs: 163 - Follows: 85 - Updated: 1/12/2010 - Published: 12/20/2009 - Bella - Complete
Wings by In.a.blue.bathrobe reviews
For Elle.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,183 - Reviews: 509 - Favs: 609 - Follows: 113 - Published: 10/24/2009 - Complete
Unbroken by Chicklette reviews
Bella's been hiding from her past for the last 4 years. Can helping the handsome, blond cowboy face his own pain ease hers? AH/OOC – “For the Love of Jasper” contest entry.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 8,975 - Reviews: 111 - Favs: 273 - Follows: 56 - Published: 9/21/2009 - Jasper, Bella - Complete
Acting Out by eroticfan reviews
AU-human: Edward, Bella and Jake are juniors in Forks. Very NC-17 with Edward and Jake both bi, but not PWP - there's plot, angst, humor and romance as these messed-up kids figure out their three-way relationship. You'll like Jake here - trust me!
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Angst/Romance - Chapters: 29 - Words: 129,996 - Reviews: 756 - Favs: 941 - Follows: 425 - Updated: 9/18/2009 - Published: 12/11/2008 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Camels and Cloves by Chicklette reviews
It's not what they say, it's what they whisper: New girl Isabella Swan has heard nothing good about Jasper Whitlock. So why can't she stay away from him? Are the rumors true? AH/OOC M- drink/drugs/sex. "For the Love of Jasper" Contest.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 9,097 - Reviews: 161 - Favs: 566 - Follows: 80 - Published: 9/18/2009 - Bella, Jasper - Complete
Get Me to You by Chicklette reviews
Winner of Winter 2010 Indie! Pet names and Pop Tarts. Sunday mornings with Etta and Ella. Cibola. Candymouth. You finally realize the truth. What if it's too late? M for drinking, drug use, sex and effing language. ExBxJxAxEm/POV, AH, OOC.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 6 - Words: 36,522 - Reviews: 956 - Favs: 1,496 - Follows: 348 - Updated: 8/19/2009 - Published: 7/27/2009 - Bella, Jasper - Complete
When does it get easier to be me? by Kristin Elizabeth reviews
This story begins sometime after book four. Sookie has forgiven Bill for his deception involving Lorena, and they have reunited, however, there is an obvious significant strain on their relationship. Namely, Eric. Bill/Sookie/Eric
Sookie Stackhouse/Southern Vampire Mysteries - Rated: M - English - Supernatural/Romance - Chapters: 31 - Words: 68,348 - Reviews: 365 - Favs: 182 - Follows: 213 - Updated: 7/29/2009 - Published: 12/20/2008 - Sookie, Bill
Things I Am Not Allowed To Do At Hogwarts by Roozette reviews
Title is self-explanitory. With a Harry/Draco twist. I am bored.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 29 - Words: 50,167 - Reviews: 1168 - Favs: 1,683 - Follows: 1,172 - Updated: 11/14/2008 - Published: 5/2/2008 - Harry P., Draco M.
Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Three Graces And A Muse reviews
It's been seven years since Edward left and he's about to find out that things have changed in his absence. Now Bella is caught between forgiving her past or following her future. AH Rated M for language and lemons.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Angst/Romance - Chapters: 23 - Words: 44,469 - Reviews: 705 - Favs: 295 - Follows: 400 - Updated: 8/20/2013 - Published: 1/6/2010 - Bella
Finger Painting reviews
Alice drags her brother Edward to an art show, intent on introducing him to her friend. Instead, Edward meets an intriguing painter, who takes the exploration of colors to a whole new level. AH and rated M for a reason folks.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 13 - Words: 47,942 - Reviews: 1008 - Favs: 809 - Follows: 676 - Updated: 10/22/2012 - Published: 4/30/2010 - Jasper, Edward - Complete
Tendered Submission reviews
A series of four themed drabbles. They began as drabbles and turned into something else. AH.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 3 - Words: 794 - Reviews: 148 - Favs: 140 - Follows: 81 - Updated: 7/9/2011 - Published: 7/7/2010 - Complete
Il Sangre reviews
Carlisle's time with the Volturi in the 18th Century leaves an indelible mark upon him, and poses the question: is it all in the blood?
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,033 - Reviews: 24 - Favs: 30 - Follows: 9 - Published: 6/22/2011 - Carlisle, Edward - Complete
Odd and Ends reviews
This is where I will post those pieces I'm never sure what to do with. The birthday drabbles & stories we write for our fellow authors, that are our only currency, or the small moments in time inspired by a word or picture or friend. No actual x-overs.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Chapters: 2 - Words: 2,802 - Reviews: 28 - Favs: 9 - Follows: 9 - Updated: 3/31/2011 - Published: 2/21/2011
Fixing Precious: A Love Story reviews
Jasper's computer needs help from an expert. Enter Geekward. A little slashy o/s written for Yogagal's birthday.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 2 - Words: 4,969 - Reviews: 154 - Favs: 263 - Follows: 74 - Updated: 3/21/2011 - Published: 3/22/2010 - Jasper, Edward - Complete
From The Ashes reviews
1st Place, 2010 Age of Edward, Literotica. The horrors of Nazi Germany are revealed to a group of stunned American soldiers. When Edward meets a young survivor, can they both salvage their lives from the wreckage of their dreams? Can they find hope again?
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 9,471 - Reviews: 117 - Favs: 277 - Follows: 72 - Published: 10/2/2010 - Edward, Bella
Learning To Surf And Other Valuable Lessons reviews
Jasper only signed up for surf lessons. But when he met Edward Cullen, he discovered just how much he had to learn. AH Slash. Rated M for a reason.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 7,104 - Reviews: 71 - Favs: 146 - Follows: 36 - Published: 10/1/2010 - Jasper, Edward - Complete
Just Like Chocolate reviews
Winner Slash/Backslash One Shot Contest. Jasper reminisces about his life with Edward, the texture of buttercream, and the capacity to love. AH. Rated M. Explicit sexual content. Additional outtakes will appear at random intervals.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 5 - Words: 14,040 - Reviews: 488 - Favs: 426 - Follows: 158 - Updated: 9/12/2010 - Published: 11/5/2009 - Edward, Jasper - Complete
House Of Flesh On Fire reviews
This is an AU/AH fic, inspired by some late night ficleting is that a word? over at the Sookieverse. Professor Northman teaches English at a distinguished liberal arts college. Sookie Stackhouse is an English major. Yeah, you know it's wrong.
Sookie Stackhouse/Southern Vampire Mysteries - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 29 - Words: 93,615 - Reviews: 2801 - Favs: 1,211 - Follows: 739 - Updated: 8/11/2010 - Published: 5/2/2009 - Sookie, Eric - Complete
Restoration reviews
Age of Eric One Shot Contest First Place Judge's Round - A melancholic Eric wanders Restoration London, but a chance encounter changes everything for him. AH Rated M - Slash. Mature sexual themes and content.
Sookie Stackhouse/Southern Vampire Mysteries - Rated: M - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 5,602 - Reviews: 56 - Favs: 30 - Follows: 9 - Published: 7/18/2010 - Eric - Complete
Lost in the Quiet reviews
Entry for the Black Balloon Contest. She was a whirlwind and he was the calm. Opposites attract, but staying together is harder than coming together. What happens when someone gets lost in the quiet? All human.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Angst/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,561 - Reviews: 36 - Favs: 38 - Follows: 8 - Published: 3/25/2010 - Edward, Bella - Complete
Epiphanies and Grenades reviews
FML One Shot Contest Entry. Foxholes and Germans and Sex, Oh My! We're not in Kansas anymore folks. Just how do Edward and Seth cope with the misery of Bastogne? Rated M for a reason. Slash/Explicit sex and language. AH/AU
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,643 - Reviews: 51 - Favs: 46 - Follows: 20 - Published: 2/11/2010 - Edward, Seth
Kindred reviews
2nd Place Mentalward o/s contest. It was heaven and hell all at once, because I knew no one else would ever satisfy me the same way, but I didn’t know if the monster would let me keep her. B/E. A/H. Drama, angst, maybe horror.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Drama/Horror - Chapters: 1 - Words: 12,453 - Reviews: 100 - Favs: 136 - Follows: 78 - Updated: 1/2/2010 - Published: 12/17/2009 - Bella, Edward
Hamburger Hill reviews
Eric n' Sooks Summer of '69 One Shot Contest Winner: Eric is a wounded officer in the hospital, and Sookie is his nurse, but she carries her own wounds. War and fate throw them together, but can they heal each other? Rated M.
Sookie Stackhouse/Southern Vampire Mysteries - Rated: M - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 2 - Words: 8,183 - Reviews: 96 - Favs: 120 - Follows: 18 - Updated: 8/20/2009 - Published: 8/13/2009 - Eric, Sookie - Complete
Sunshine of Your Love reviews
Eric n' Sooks-Summer of '69 One-shot Contest. Sookie goes to Berkeley and Eric goes to Vietnam, yet their worlds are inevitably and inexplicably drawn together, as the events of the 1960's irrevocably change them. This is an all human E/S story. Rated M!
Sookie Stackhouse/Southern Vampire Mysteries - Rated: M - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 9,507 - Reviews: 56 - Favs: 46 - Follows: 9 - Published: 8/10/2009 - Sookie, Eric - Complete
Chasing The Light reviews
It's five months since he recovered his memories, but Eric has kept Sookie at arm's length. Will being with her put her in danger? Spoilers through book 8.
Sookie Stackhouse/Southern Vampire Mysteries - Rated: M - English - Hurt/Comfort/Romance - Chapters: 34 - Words: 50,715 - Reviews: 1846 - Favs: 608 - Follows: 352 - Updated: 8/2/2009 - Published: 3/16/2009 - Sookie, Eric - Complete
The Divide reviews
Entry into the Weekly One Shot Challenge: To forgive is an act of compassion. It's not done because people deserve it. It's done because they need it. Fifteen years after the Were Reveal, the world is a much different place. Minor spoilers through DAG.
Sookie Stackhouse/Southern Vampire Mysteries - Rated: K+ - English - Hurt/Comfort/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,298 - Reviews: 56 - Favs: 19 - Follows: 10 - Published: 7/15/2009 - Eric, Sookie - Complete
E v E reviews
A Far-Thea production. Yes, this is a collaborative effort between myself and Gallathea. Eric the Vampire and Eric the Professor meet to discuss their stories. Hilarity ensues.
Sookie Stackhouse/Southern Vampire Mysteries - Rated: M - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 2 - Words: 4,701 - Reviews: 147 - Favs: 36 - Follows: 28 - Updated: 7/2/2009 - Published: 6/23/2009 - Eric
New Life reviews
This is a post DAG fic. It contains spoilers, so if you haven't read book 9, stay away. Takes place about a week after the events in DAG. Sookie reevaluates her life and relationships.
Sookie Stackhouse/Southern Vampire Mysteries - Rated: M - English - Drama/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 2 - Words: 3,325 - Reviews: 124 - Favs: 66 - Follows: 106 - Updated: 5/18/2009 - Published: 5/12/2009 - Sookie
Evisceration Nation reviews
Silly little ficlet inspired by a night of wine and random words. E/S.
Sookie Stackhouse/Southern Vampire Mysteries - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 441 - Reviews: 40 - Favs: 18 - Follows: 4 - Published: 5/11/2009 - Sookie, Eric
Dead Heart reviews
Eric's POV of Chapter 18 of Dead and Gone.
Sookie Stackhouse/Southern Vampire Mysteries - Rated: T - English - Hurt/Comfort/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,714 - Reviews: 63 - Favs: 58 - Follows: 22 - Published: 5/10/2009 - Eric, Sookie
Flowers and Chocolate reviews
A piece of pure V-Day inspired fluff. PWP. ESN Template. Rated M for a reason folks.
Sookie Stackhouse/Southern Vampire Mysteries - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 4 - Words: 2,123 - Reviews: 56 - Favs: 81 - Follows: 23 - Published: 4/24/2009 - Eric, Sookie - Complete
Mud People reviews
This is part of the Weekly One-Shot Challenge. Set in book 1.
Sookie Stackhouse/Southern Vampire Mysteries - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 735 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 10 - Follows: 1 - Published: 2/24/2009 - Bill, Sookie - Complete
Hidden Things reviews
This is a one off inspired by certain events in Bonds. It is an Eric POV fic about vengeance and the dark places we keep to ourselves.
Sookie Stackhouse/Southern Vampire Mysteries - Rated: T - English - Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,360 - Reviews: 27 - Favs: 22 - Follows: 9 - Published: 2/15/2009 - Eric - Complete
Bonds reviews
Sookie has taken blood from more than one vampire. Can a human be bonded to more than one? What happens if she does? Once again Sookie's life is complicated by Eric and Bill, and she needs to sort it all out. Absolute vampwich. Definite M rating.
Sookie Stackhouse/Southern Vampire Mysteries - Rated: M - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 28 - Words: 19,517 - Reviews: 189 - Favs: 209 - Follows: 86 - Updated: 2/13/2009 - Published: 2/7/2009 - Eric, Sookie - Complete
Letting Go reviews
A one shot from Eric's POV about his feelings for Sookie and the aftermath of de Castro's takeover. Spoilers for book 8.
Sookie Stackhouse/Southern Vampire Mysteries - Rated: T - English - Romance/Supernatural - Chapters: 1 - Words: 691 - Reviews: 41 - Favs: 44 - Follows: 12 - Published: 2/9/2009 - Eric, Sookie - Complete
Choices reviews
Sookie, Eric and Bill are at a summit with the new king. Tensions are running high and Sookie must make a choice. Definite vampwich and spoilers through book 8.
Sookie Stackhouse/Southern Vampire Mysteries - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 4 - Words: 2,776 - Reviews: 36 - Favs: 54 - Follows: 26 - Published: 2/5/2009 - Sookie, Eric - Complete
Goodbye reviews
A one off about what would have happened if Bill hadn't gone when Sookie sent him away at the Bellefleur wedding. Spoilers through all the books.
Sookie Stackhouse/Southern Vampire Mysteries - Rated: M - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 496 - Reviews: 33 - Favs: 12 - Follows: 3 - Published: 2/5/2009 - Bill, Sookie - Complete
Shreveport reviews
Eric and Sookie reconnect one night in Shreveport. Sookie panics and then learns that Eric does not like to be played. Can she get him to forgive her? Spoilers through book 8.
Sookie Stackhouse/Southern Vampire Mysteries - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 7 - Words: 12,841 - Reviews: 82 - Favs: 173 - Follows: 29 - Published: 2/4/2009 - Eric, Sookie - Complete
Mine reviews
This is how I think things between Sookie, Eric and Quinn should have played out in Definitely Dead. Spoilers through DD.
Sookie Stackhouse/Southern Vampire Mysteries - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 4 - Words: 1,882 - Reviews: 94 - Favs: 116 - Follows: 31 - Published: 2/4/2009 - Sookie, Eric - Complete