Martha the Anorexic Ephalent
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Joined 01-19-09, id: 1809411, Profile Updated: 10-07-09
Author has written 4 stories for Twilight.

Heyy, it's Martha ! For anyone that's interested, Martha is just my pen name. I got it from an episode of Whose Line is it Anyways, where Collin said, "we'll back back to the production 'Martha the Anorexic Ephalent' in just a minute". I thought it was quite funny... and he said ephalent, not elephant. Hahahaha, it's a great show, you should check it out on Youtube or in one of the groups on Facebook if you haven't already. It's too bad they stopped airing...

A little about me...
- I love to write. Yeah, that's sureeee hard to guess on a site like this. I'm sure I've shocked all of you. Nawt.
- I'm a spelling and grammar freak. I'm far from a perfectionist, but I hate reading something without commas or periods, and it doesn't make sense. It just ruins the story! And when it comes to spelling, I have to admit, I'm not too bad.
- I have never, EVER been able to write a full story (to this date - January 24th) except for little one-four pagers for school and stuff. Believe me, I've tried, but my ideas are never all that good :'( I hope that using other peoples characters and stuff like that WILL help... (ahhhh, Edward Cullen =D). (Haha! Sacrifice is a full story!)
- I can't wait to hear other people's opinions in their reviews! I really could care less (to be exact) if you think I'm a piece of @@ and should never write again, but, well, it's good to know. And if a bunch of people say that, then maybe, just maybe, I really should never write again. But if you all let me know that you love my stories... (that'll be the day.)

UPDATES...

October 7th Update

Well, I haven't updated since forever. But I apologize. I swear I'll try to update my stories from now on... anyways, I felt like updating this cause it seemed a little... not updated. Well then. Anyways, I am updating again, and Angels on the Moon should be updated every weekend from now on. Don't hate me if I don't, cause I swear I'm trying!

As always, I love all my faithful reviewers and readers. It's reviews that really make me want to update faster! Sacrifice is doing pretty well, and I really appreciate that I'm still getting reviews from that - it took a lot of time to write, and it's one of my favorites. If I ever get caught up in writing AOTM, there'll be a sequel.

Thanks to everyone who's reading!

January 24th Update (Breaking Dawn spoilers ahead)

I'm new here, but I have a few ideas for my first few fanfictions. I love Twilight, so I'll be sticking to that for now. I can't wait to get my first chapter posted, but I've been kindof busy lately so I haven't been able to finish it. It has something to do with Breaking Dawn... I hope you guys will like it !

I'm quite aware that no one will be reading this because I'm new, and I haven't even started a story yet, let alone a popular one. But if you do, then congratulations! Yippee Doo-Dah Day! You're probably the first... and only.

If anyone reading this (which there probably won't be), I am still looking for a Beta Reader. Hopefully one that's good with grammar and can spell... english is one of my favorite subjects and I'm good at it, so I hope they'll be able to keep up.

I won't be able to add my first chapter of my first fanfic for another while yet. It's exams week, starting the 26th, and so I'll be studying till then. But, maybe, I'll be able to work on it for a break from studying? I don't know. And, speaking of the fanfic...

Time for some information about my first fanfic. I've only been reading fanfics on here for a few weeks, and I haven't seen any that are my idea yet. So if someone has the same idea, or the same story, I am extremely sorry. I don't think it's been done, but it's not a very impressive idea, so you never know. The fanfic is based on Breaking Dawn... so I'm sure that narrows it down for anyone that's guessing. I'll be doing... something... (it would give it away, and I don't want anyone to take my idea) and I'll be changing a few of the events in the book that I didn't like, or that I didn't think were very good or described very well (don't worry, no Isle Esme scenes...) The title for my story is also the title of a song. I thought that the song had a lot to do with the relationship between Edward and Bella, and... some other things. So, here it is... the title. (More info will be posted on the title soon, along with a very long description of how I came up with it. There are a few other songs that really reminded me of the book, and I will list them too, and mention them when I get that far in the fanfic).

ANGELS ON THE MOON!

I love that song. It is written by Thriving Ivory. I suggest you listen to it immediately if you haven't heard it before, because it's brilliant !!

Angels On the Moon - Thriving Ivory
Video Link - http://ca.youtube.com/watch?v=S38-mjy5NtA
Lyrics Link - http:///angels-on-the-moon-lyrics-thriving-ivory.html

Here are a few more songs that I think belong in Breaking Dawn (and I absolutely adore!)

Save You - Simple Plan Video Link - http://ca.youtube.com/watch?v=-fP9fBb8wjY
Lyrics Link - http:///save-you-lyrics-simple-plan.html

Fall For You - Secondhand Serenade
Video Link - http://ca.youtube.com/watch?v=FhU_FXcwNmg
Lyrics Link - http:///fall-for-you-lyrics-secondhand-serenade.html

The Scientist - Coldplay (also on Stephenie Meyer's playlist)
Video Link - http://ca.youtube.com/watch?v=V3Kd7IGPyeg
Lyrics Link - http:///the-scientist-lyrics-coldplay.html

Save You - when Edward is changing Bella, I can picture him vampire-crying while keeping her heart beating and this chorus playing in the background.

Fall For You - when they are dancing at the wedding, looking into each others eyes, once again, in the background.

The Scientist - in Jacob's perspective - when Jacob is running away from Bella after talking to her at the wedding, what he says and is thinking. Also, this works well with when Edward is leaving Bella early in New Moon (it's in the New Moon playlist on Stephenie's webpage).

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Bella Hale by JulesSC reviews
Six year old Isabella Swan was orphaned after a car crash took her parents away, and Edward and the Cullens find her. Alice decides to keep her, and Edward tries to protect her. Family drama and hilarity ensues as Bella grows up and ExB happens.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Family/Humor - Chapters: 51 - Words: 386,995 - Reviews: 13667 - Favs: 8,693 - Follows: 6,435 - Updated: 7/8/2011 - Published: 11/21/2008 - Edward, Bella
WHAT NOT TO WRITE by bitchinblackframedglasses reviews
Tired of seeing things that annoy you to death on fan-fiction? I was, here is my rambling about things NOT to write. Plus, some tips and responses for and from readers! REVAMPED-includes HP rants too! Enjoy.
Crossover - Harry Potter & Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Crime - Chapters: 5 - Words: 4,799 - Reviews: 143 - Favs: 39 - Follows: 14 - Updated: 2/5/2011 - Published: 1/24/2009 - Complete
When She Smiles by l'heure bleue reviews
Alice and Jasper have always been friends. First kiss at five, ”I love you” at six — and a terrible tragedy before they'd even begun high school. Can the love the share overcome the fear, and the pain? ”Daddy," he cried. ”Don't hurt me…” — COTN SIDE-STORY
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 24 - Words: 59,639 - Reviews: 5482 - Favs: 1,081 - Follows: 1,168 - Updated: 1/14/2011 - Published: 1/18/2009 - Alice, Jasper
The Twilight Chronicles by Jammeke reviews
Things the character would say—if I had anything to say about it.
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 12 - Words: 9,736 - Reviews: 531 - Favs: 479 - Follows: 134 - Updated: 10/1/2010 - Published: 1/8/2009 - Complete
The Adventures of Silly Bella by JulesSC reviews
A companion to Bella Hale. The stories about little Bella that wasn't told in BH. Just mindless fluff, with very little plot. BxE friendship, as well as Cullen family bonding.
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Family/Humor - Chapters: 12 - Words: 49,210 - Reviews: 605 - Favs: 570 - Follows: 409 - Updated: 9/23/2010 - Published: 12/25/2008 - Bella, Edward
Taking Over Me by JulesSC reviews
When Edward left Bella in New Moon, she never recovered. Saying her final goodbyes to the world, she hopes to get some peace. But something goes wrong and she ends up as a ghost. 75 years later, Edward and the Cullens comes back and finds her ghost. ExB.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Supernatural - Chapters: 4 - Words: 10,842 - Reviews: 509 - Favs: 440 - Follows: 485 - Updated: 9/23/2010 - Published: 12/17/2008 - Edward, Bella
Save Me by JulesSC reviews
Bella and the Cullens bond over a tragedy-Edward copes with comforting Bella and being there for her. Fluff for EdwardxBella, and fluff for BellaxCullens, but also an angsty edge to it. Romance, family, angst, and slight humor. M for sensitive subject.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 6 - Words: 14,839 - Reviews: 241 - Favs: 244 - Follows: 277 - Updated: 9/23/2010 - Published: 11/20/2008 - Bella, Edward
Twilight Spoof by CinderWitt reviews
One day, Alice decides to make a small spoof dedicated to their suddenly soap-opera resembled lives. How will it turn out when she sits the entire family down to watch it? With an embarrased Bella, a frustrated Edward, and a booming Emmett, the fun is endless for an entire laugh-filled night.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 11 - Words: 5,302 - Reviews: 193 - Favs: 74 - Follows: 42 - Updated: 6/19/2010 - Published: 10/28/2008 - Alice - Complete
A Light in the Dark by Athenian Grace reviews
Vernon and Petunia Dursley didn’t see the letter Dumbledore left and brought baby Harry to a hospital. Will compassionate Doctor Cullen be able to let Harry go? Will they ever understand Harry's past? Twilight crossover
Crossover - Harry Potter & Twilight - Rated: T - English - Family - Chapters: 24 - Words: 103,722 - Reviews: 1708 - Favs: 4,350 - Follows: 2,667 - Updated: 4/30/2010 - Published: 1/2/2009 - Harry P., Edward - Complete
Silence, the Loudest Sound by reincarnatedcrazybutterfly reviews
Edward met Bella in Central Park during fall. Intrigued, he kept striking a conversation with Bella but Bella remained silent. It didn’t mean though that she wasn’t able to answer all of his questions. What Edward didn’t know is that Bella can’t speak.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 23 - Words: 97,060 - Reviews: 983 - Favs: 1,281 - Follows: 501 - Updated: 2/4/2010 - Published: 10/19/2008 - Bella, Edward - Complete
The Ultimate Survival Guide by Jammeke reviews
Trying to keep a specific person alive is much more troublesome than Edward would have believed. But that's probably just because it's Bella. To what lenghts would he go to keep her out of harm's way? You are about to find out.
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 5 - Words: 2,141 - Reviews: 84 - Favs: 79 - Follows: 18 - Updated: 1/25/2009 - Published: 1/18/2009 - Edward - Complete
A Child of the Night by l'heure bleue reviews
"I'm like a Vampire," she murmured. "Because, in mere seconds, the sun could kill me." - Bella Swan is a girl living her life in fear of the light. Edward Cullen is simply a normal boy. They're worlds apart, but... "You're my sun, Edward." – ExB ALL HUMAN
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 57 - Words: 194,119 - Reviews: 9731 - Favs: 2,486 - Follows: 1,034 - Updated: 1/18/2009 - Published: 7/19/2008 - Edward, Bella - Complete
Notes by Llama Mama23 reviews
Edward and Bella are caught passing notes in class. The teacher has the note read to the class. A series of embarassing events ensues, including Edward in a trunk, Bella in a gas mask, Carlisle as Tarazn, and Emmett with blue hair.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 13 - Words: 25,990 - Reviews: 2878 - Favs: 2,088 - Follows: 988 - Updated: 12/29/2008 - Published: 5/14/2007 - Complete
Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Angels on the Moon reviews
This is Breaking Dawn... almost entirely in Edward's perspective. Like Midnight Sun, you will be able to see into Edward's mind and learn how he really thinks of Bella... and how a few other people think, too. A few things are changed from the book... R&R
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 5 - Words: 23,238 - Reviews: 66 - Favs: 38 - Follows: 34 - Updated: 1/19/2010 - Published: 1/24/2009 - Edward, Bella
Survive reviews
Bella and her brother just moved to Forks, leaving behind a horrifying past in Phoenix. But soon after their arrival, Bella and her newest companions have to deal with a mystery murderer on the loose in the school. What will it take to survive? AH,not OOC
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Crime/Romance - Chapters: 3 - Words: 2,882 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 7 - Follows: 5 - Updated: 5/4/2009 - Published: 5/2/2009 - Bella, Edward
Sacrifice reviews
Jasper and Alice are on the plane on the way back from South America-they were unsuccessful in finding another half vampire. The fight with the Volturi over Renesmee is about to begin. Then Alice has a vision.. Alice POV "How could I choose? Them, or me?"
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Tragedy/Angst - Chapters: 8 - Words: 4,832 - Reviews: 25 - Favs: 13 - Follows: 13 - Updated: 5/3/2009 - Published: 2/17/2009 - Alice, Jasper - Complete
100 Things That Emmett Cullen Should Never Do reviews
This is a summary of 100 things that Emmett should never do. Although, if he did do any of these, it would be quite funny. Unfortunately, none of his siblings would like it very much. It's supposed to be humorous, and I hope you all enjoy it! Please R&R!
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,056 - Reviews: 13 - Favs: 26 - Follows: 3 - Published: 1/30/2009 - Emmett - Complete