Read the new chapter of a Conscience to Rely On to read everything about Akilah. Oh, yeah and I'm quitting.

My name is Amy i am 11 years old. I'm friends with xxXXMrs.Jasper WhitlockXXxx. We go to school together. I love Twilight and private.

Ohmygosh! "Vampires Suck" Movie coming out! At first when I saw the commercial, I thought that it was for Breaking Dawn. But then it only showed someone who looked like Bella and Alice falling into a hole and Bella hitting people in red capes saying something about Jacob... and I knew it was a parody! Ohmygosh! I love twilight but I'm still going to see that movie. Answer my new poll!

Jasper and Emmett’s list of HOW TO ANNOY EDWARD!!!

1. Prance around the house singing Madonna’s ‘Like a virgin’ at the top of your lungs every morning.
2. Especially loud when Bella is around to hear it.
3. Running it by Charlie that Edward has been ‘sleeping’ with Bella for the past 2 years, at the wedding reception.
4. Hire a stripper to pop out of the wedding cake XD
5. Buy a sex-ed book and shove it in his locker, making sure that whenever he decides to open it that it falls out, in clear view of the school.
6. Make sure and tell Aro that Edward wants to elope with him.
7. Smear your blood all over his new car freshener. Blame it on Jacob
8. Program his locker to—whenever he opens it to sing (LOUDLY)
YOU AND ME BABY WE AIN’T NOTHING BUT MAMMALS, SO LETS DO IT LIKE WE DO ON THE DISCOVERY CHANNEL! HERE WE GO NOW! YOU AND ME BABY WE AIN’T NOTHING BUT MAMMALS SO LETS DO IT LIKE WE DO ON THE DISCOVERY CHANNEL! GET HORNY NOW!
And repeat. Over and over and over. ( Link to video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ygkvjUw5ZEk)
9. Tell him it was Jacob’s idea.
10. Show him the twilight trailer. Ask him if he’s thinks that he looks like a pedophile or if it’s just you.
11. Ask him where babies come from. Tell him he’s stupid when he won’t answer your question.
12. For his birthday give him a $100 McDonalds gift card, and get offended when he tells you he doesn’t eat food.
13. Post his phone number and address on e-harmony.
14. Tell him Bella wants to elope with Paul.
15. Ask him why he likes watching Bella sleep. Call him a pervert.
16. Steal his Vanquish and program his radio to only plays Lollipop –unedited of couse. (D: THE HORROR, Link to video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ygkvjUw5ZEk) Make sure he can’t turn it off or get it replaced.
17. Replace his ringtone with ‘Outta my head’ by Asheele Simpson. Make sure he can’t change it.
18. Color on all his Bella pictures with Permanent marker.
19. Refuse to replace them.
20. Ask him to be a gangsta with you for Halloween.
21. Get offended when he refuses.
22. Take him to Victoria’s Secret with Alice.
23. Constantly whisper in his ear “Chinese Fireball….ooooooooh!” (HP REFERENCE)
24. Ask him how his bath with Harry was (HP REFERENCE.).
25. Constantly remind him that he almost lost Bella to a dog.
26. Key his car. ‘Jacob and Edward = LURVE’
27. Get him on that show ‘intervention’. Make sure everyone knows he addicted to heroin.
28. Tell him you have Bella as a witness if he denies it.
29. Picture yourself naked and covered in blood. Ask him if he wants you.
30. Call him a liar when he says no.
31. Throw boysenberry flavored muffins at him every time he tries to speak.
32. Tell him Bella is pregnant and eloping with Mike Newton.
33. Tell him you were kidding once he murders Mike.
34. Ask him if Charlie is secretly a unicorn.
35. Make him watch the twilight movie.
36. Ask him if he thinks Robert Pattinson is hot. When he says no, tell him he has low self esteem issues.
37. Buy him a dog. Name it Jacob.
38. Train the dog to follow him everywhere. P.S. Make sure he doesn’t eat it.
39. Ask him why he’s not as hot as Robert Pattinson.
40. Ask him if he’s a virgin.
41. When he says yes, take a picture of him and tape it to the 40 year old virgin movie poster.
42. Make him watch Hairspray with you. Ask him why he’s not as hot as Zac Efron.
43. When he says that he is, ask him why he wasn’t the star of the singing high school people.
44. Tape porn to his walls.
45. Make sure Bella sees it.
46. Nail his CDS to the ceiling along with his Stero.
47. Refuse to take them down.
48. Tell him Jacob thinks he’s a sex god.
49. Tell him Jane thinks he’s better than a sex god.
50. Start singing ‘Paper cut’ around him. Constantly.

“There. That should do,” Jasper said as he finished writing. He turned to Emmett. “Ready?” “HELL YEAH!” Emmett yelled.
Jasper smiled. “Let’s do this.”

Disclaimers:

We are not responsible for any,
Ripping/shredding/tearing/beating/bruising/bleeding/general destruction of you or your property.

We can only guarantee that you will ANNOY THE SHIT OUT OF EDWARD.
^^ Have fun!

40 ways to annoy Jacob Black (Made by Edward Cullen)

1. Force him to wear a leash and collar and tie him to a pole.
2. Put up fliers saying "Lost Dog" with his picture on it.
3. Give him mouthwash for his birthday. Tell him he has dog breath.
4. Constantly remind him that Bella would rather ‘die’ then be with him.
5. Throw silver spoons at him. (It’s a werewolf pun XD)
6. When he’s a werewolf steal his pants.
7. Paint his motor bike hot pink.
8. Buy him a cat.
9. Name it Edward.
10. Buy him dog food. Act offended when he won’t eat it.
11. Ask him what he’s getting Edward and Bella for a wedding present.
12. Tell him Bella is allergic to dogs.
13. Ask him how he lost to an old man.
14. Call the dog pound on him when he phases
15. Lock him in a room with Edward
16. Post the results on YouTube
17. Tell him that Aro and Bella are eloping in Mexico and he’s not invited.
18. Tell him he’s not a REAL werewolf, he’s just a shape shifting loser. (Breaking Dawn reference)
19. Ask him about puberty.
20. Force him to watch Shark boy and Lava girl
21. Ask him if he thinks Taylor Lautner looks hot in a tight leather suit (Shark boy and Lava girl Reference)
22. Tell him he’s Remus Lupin and Sirius Black’s crack child.
23. When he doesn’t believe you, ask him why his last name is BLACK, and he’s a WEREWOLF.
24. Post the reactions online when he puts the pieces together.
25. Every time he does something nice say, 'Good boy!'
26. Show him the honeymoon scene in Breaking Dawn.
27. Post his reaction on YouTube.
28. Tell him to sit and wave a dog biscuit in his face.
29. Buy him a dog bed for his birthday
30. Ask him if he’ll be your ‘guard dog’. (Breaking Dawn Reference)
31. Show him Edward/Bella fan art, particularly ‘PG-13 – NC17’ Rated things
32. Start an ‘Edward dazzles me’ fan club and elect him as president.
33. Force him to attend the meetings, every week.
34. Ask him if he actually drinks out of the toilet
35. Refuse to believe him when he says no.
36. Ask him if Edward dazzles him.
37. When he says no, use his (ANNOYING) catch phrase. “Sure, Sure.” Just to piss him off.
38. Ask him if he knows the only thing worse than imprinting on a two year old. When he asks, tell him ‘imprinting on a two day old girl, that just so happens to be your arch enemy’s vampire/human child’. (Breaking dawn SPOILER.)
39. While he’s sleeping put ketchup packets all around his bed, making it impossible to get out of bed.
40. Laugh at him when he tries anyway.

Disclaimers:

I am not responsible for any,
Ripping/shredding/tearing/beating/bruising/bleeding/general destruction of you or your property.

I can only guarantee that you will ANNOY THE SHIT OUT OF JACOB.
^^ Have fun!

50 Ways To Annoy People At The Movies
1. Throw popcorn in the air and yell, “It’s snowing!”
2. Go, “Oooooh…” whenever anyone kisses.
3. Clap when the good guy gets killed.
4. During the previews, yell, “Can you fast-forward it?”
5. Whenever the bad guy is doing something devious, say, “Watch out!”

6. Laugh very loudly at all the corny jokes.
7. Tell the man selling popcorn that the bathroom is flooding.
8. Yell out what is going to happen.
9. Wear a cape and when its your turn to get popcorn yell, “I’m Batman! Hahaha!” and run away.
10. Say that they cannot sit next to you because you invisible friend already is.

11. Dress for every movie as if it were the Rocky Horror Picture Show.
12. Use empty chairs next to you as catapults with candy. Aim at specific people behind you and see if you can hit anyone in the back row.
13. Wear 3d glasses. Complain loudly how bad the effect are.
14. Bring a flashlight. In the middle of the film do shadow puppets on the ceiling.
15. Bring a remote control. Complain that you can’t change the channel.

16. Sit front row, the minute the movie starts run out screaming.
17. Every time a character’s name is mentioned do the Richmeister. (for a guy named Nick say, the Nickmeister, the Nickenator, Nickarino…)
18. Bring a beach ball. Toss it around.
19. Try to start a wave.
20. Become a bookie. Take bets on who will die first.

21. Sit in the back and throw eggs at the projection window.
22. Every time someone curses cover your ears and scream, “No profanity!”
23. Sing with the theme music.
24. Bring and use your own air freshener.
25. At the ticket booth, request tickets for really old movies, “I’ll have two tickets for the Goonies.”

26. Throw spit wads on the screen. Try throwing them on the upper part of the screen so they can’t get scraped off.
27. Pass around a collection plate and see if anyone contributes.
28. Point a laser pointer at the screen. Give the audience a laser light show.
29. Bring a book and a bright light. Start reading the book with the light on. When someone asks you to turn out the light, yell, “Shh, I’m trying to read!”
30. Use binoculars. Stare at the audience rather than the movie.

31. Bring a Nintendo laser gun. Shoot at the screen.
32. Clap loudly every time a person walks into the theater late.
33. When someone kicks the back of your chair, scream, “Ahhh, whiplash!”
34. Ask what the theater’s return policy on popcorn is.
35. Ask the person at the ticket window, “Do you work here?”

36. Start a standing ovation at the end of the movie.
37. Quote all dialogue 4 seconds after it is said on the screen.
38. Get up frequently and leave the room while singing “Let’s all go to the Lobby to get ourselves a treat”
39. Every time there is a gun shot scream, “Hit the floor!”, jump on the floor, and cover your head.
40. Wear one of those “cat in the hat” top hats.

41. Get 3 people together and act like you are Crow, Tom Servo, and Joel from Mystery Science Theater 3000.
42. Before the movie starts, stand up, and imitate the Truth commercial saying, “The makers of this film couldn’t find any way to make their characters rebellious, rockin`, or cool so instead, they’ll just smoke.”
43. When someone walks by you in the aisle scream, “Ahhhhhh! Bad Touch!”
44. Play musical chairs, getting up frequently and moving right next to someone sitting by themself.
45. Bring your own beanbag chair and sit in the aisle.

46. During a love scene, stand up and run to the screen shouting “Hooters!”
47. Before the movie begins, tape fart cusions to various chairs in the theater room.
48. Bring a portable air popper, pop your own popcorn.
49. Bring a watergun and shoot it at anyone who begins talking.
50. Tie a cardboard box around your waist and walk up and down the aisles shouting “Get your popcorn, peanuts!”

Soda Mix-up

Coca Cola went to town,
Diet Pepsi shot him down,
Dr. Pepper fixed him up,
Now we're drinking 7up,
7up got the flu,
Now we're drinking Mountain Dew,
Mountain Dew fell off a mountain,
Now we're drinking from a fountain,
Then the fountain broke,
So now we're drinking plain old Coke

Bazooka Bubble Gum

My mom, she gave me a dollar, she told me buy a collar
But I ain't buy no collar, I bought some bubble gum!
Bazooka, zooka, bubble gum!
Bazooka, zooka, bubble gum!
Bazooka, zooka, bubble gum!
Some gum!

My mom, she gave me a quarter, she told me go to porter
But I ain't go to porter, I bought some bubble gum!
Bazooka, zooka, bubble gum!
Bazooka, zooka, bubble gum!
Bazooka, zooka, bubble gum!
Some gum!

My mom, she gave me a dime, she told me buy a lime
But I ain't buy no lime, I bought some bubble gum!
Bazooka, zooka, bubble gum!
Bazooka, zooka, bubble gum!
Bazooka, zooka, bubble gum!
Some gum!

My mom, she gave me a nickel, she told me buy a pickle
But I ain't buy no pickle, I bought some bubble gum!
Bazooka, zooka, bubble gum!
Bazooka, zooka, bubble gum!
Bazooka, zooka, bubble gum!
Some gum!

Bubble gum!
Bazooka, zooka, bubble gum!
Bazooka, zooka, bubble gum!
Bazooka, zooka, bubble gum!
Some gum!

Feel free to copy and paste these into your profile!

If you like waffles go read my stories!! and copy and paste in your profile!!

"Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes. That way you're a mile away from them and you have their shoes." (Been there, done that. God, witty, comebacks anyone?)

"People who say anything's possible haven't tried to slam a revolving door." (HEY!! I've done it before. the door just... umm... broke)

Everything here is eatable. I'm eatable, but that my children is called cannibalism and is frowned upon in most societies. (Not if you ate Michael Jackson. He's all plastic)

Tell the truth and run. (But what if I run slow?)

When angry, count to ten, when very angry, swear. (And I live by that every day)

What happens if you get scared half to death twice? (You DIE dumbass)

Amateurs built the ark. Professionals built the Titanic... (God, that is so true in so many ways... wait, what?)

"Have you ever noticed that if you rearranged the letters in mother in law, they come out to Woman Hitler?" (Nice one. God, I swear mine is one!)

Why do people say, "You can't have your cake and eat it too"? Why would someone get cake if they can't eat it? (God, I'd die if I had a cake and couldn't eat it)

"When life hand you lemons, throw those lemons right back at it and tell life to make its own dang lemonade" (GOD! Wait, I say god too much, don't I? No I don't. Yes I do. No I don't. Yes I do... continues to rant until the voices in her head get bored and leave)

You say I'm not cool. But cool is another word for cold. If I'm not cold, I'm hot. I know I'm hot. Thanks for embracing it. (So much for not making a comeback)

Don't mess with me I've got a stick (And I have no idea how to use it)

I ran with scissors, and lived! (DAMN YOU'RE GOOD!)

You cry, I cry, you laugh, I laugh, you fall off a cliff, I laugh even harder (So me)

I'm the kind of girl who will burst our laughing in the middle of a dead silence because of something that happened yesterday. (Okay, who's stalking me?)

The greatest challenge in life is to find someone who knows all your flaws, differences, and mistakes, and yet still sees the best in you. (voice of that when you see a cute puppy and go "CUTE!" Awww, it makes me wanna puke!!)

"When life gives you lemons, make grape juice. Then sit back and watch the world wonder how you did it." (God, that would be funtertaining)

"Those who don't learn from history are doomed to repeat it." (How many times have you heard that line? Come up with a better one, people, I'm getting bored.)

"Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else" (I am especially unique, if you catch my drift)

"Real girls aren't perfect, perfect girls aren't real." (Oh, fuck you. I AM perfect)

"I'd rather be hated for who I am than be loved for who I'm not." (Sappy, much?)

They say "Guns don't kill people, people kill people." Well, I think the guns help. If you stood there and yelled BANG, I don't think you'd kill too many people. (romclmao!)

Ever had writers block when talking? (Yep, everyday)

Life isn't passing me by, it's trying to run me over. (Wish I could say the same for some...erm...well certain fictional characters cough cough Tasha cough cough)

Smile, and the world will smile back at you. Laugh, and they'll all think you're on drugs. (God, how may of you have been in that situation. Someone say something, I'm feeling left out here)

Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear intelligent until you hear them speak.

If I could get a firm grip on reality, I'd choke it.

"This calls for a particularly subtle blend of psychology and extreme violence." (Okay, who wrote this? You get a high five!)

Some people are only alive because it is illegal to shoot them. (You know who you are)

I used to have super powers, but then my therapist took them away. (I had the same problem, but I got them back with much begging to the voices in my head)

Logic is a systematic method of coming to the wrong conclusion with confidence. (Okay, hands up if you think this is so true that the person who wrote it should get a nobel prize. That's what I thought)

Stupidity killed the cat. Curiosity was framed. (One of my favorites!)

I'm not a complete idiot. Some parts are missing. (Totally)

The voices in my head tell me that you're all crazy to think that I need therapy. (Actually, that would be my friend Rachael)

If you can keep your head while other people are losing theirs, you probably don't fully understand the situation. (I never do, what do you expect?)

My mind works like lightning...one brilliant flash and it's gone. (Okay, this is just uncanny...)

If you like chocolate as much as I do, copy this in your profile. (What girl doesn't not like Chocolate?)

If you think you have too many of these "copy and paste this into your profile" thingies, but have no intention of stopping now, copy and paste this into your profile.

If your profile is long, copy and paste this on it to make it even longer.

If you think the human identification thing when you log in to fan fiction is annoying,But at the same time funny, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you read people's profiles looking for things to copy and paste into your profile, copy and paste this into your profile (maybe...)

If you are against fur coats, clothing, boots, etc, and the people who kill the animals don't use the meat, copy and paste this into your profile

Drugs are bad news. Spread the word.

Too many people are on crack. If you're not, copy this into your bio.

Too many people smoke marijuana. If you don't, copy this into your profile.

If you like animals, give one a home if you can. If you already have or can't but want to spread the word, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever been kidnapped and nearly eaten by evil flying squirrels before your vampire boyfriend saved you, then you found a flamethrower and vanquished the squirrels shouting “Die, squirrel beasts, die!”, copy this into your profile.

If you have an odd sort of love/hate relationship with your computer, copy and paste this into your profile

If you're random and proud of it, copy and paste this in your profile!

If vampires are real, post it.

If there are times when you just wanna annoy people for the hell of it then copy this into your profile.

If you have ever fallen up the stairs copy this into your profile

If you have ever tripped over air, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever run into a door, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever tripped over your own feet, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you know someone who should get run over by a bus, copy this into your profile.

98 percent of the teenage population does or has tried smoking pot. If you're one of the 2 percent who hasn't, copy and paste this in your profile.

92 percent of teenagers would die if Abercrombie and Fitch told them it wasn't cool to breathe. Put this in your profile if you would be part of the 8 percent laughing your arse off.

If you've ever had a mad laughing fit for no reason, copy and paste this into your profile

If you have ever pushed on a door that said pull or pulled the handle on a door that said push, copy this in your profile.

you've ever tried putting your hair behind your ears, and ended up poking yourself in the eye...copy/paste this into your profile!!

If you have ever dreamed or imagined being a vampire or a werewolf, put this in your profile.

If you have ever zoned out for more than 5 consecutive minutes, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever zoned out for more than 5 consecutive minutes about twilight, copy this into your profile.

Weird is good. Strange is bad. Odd is what you call someone who you can't decide what to call them. Weird is the same as different, which is the same as unique, which means weird is good! If you are weird and proud of it, copy this onto your profile

If vampires are real, post it

If you have read every vampire book you can get your little hands on, post it up!

For people that hate stereotypes: If you think people should just shut up and stop, put this on your profile. bolded ones apply to me

I'm SKINNY, so I MUST be anorexic.
I'm a NEGRO so I MUST carry a gun.
I'm BLOND, so I MUST be a ditz
I'm JAMAICAN so I MUST smoke weed.
I'm HAITIAN so I MUST eat cat.
I'm ASIAN, so I MUST be sexy.
I'm JEWISH, so I MUST be greedy.
I'm GAY, so I MUST have AIDS.
I'm a LESBIAN, so I MUST have a sex-tape.
I'm ARAB, so I MUST be a terrorist.
I SPEAK MY MIND, so I MUST be a bitch.
I'm a GAY RIGHTS SUPPORTER, so I WILL go to hell.
I'm a CHRISTAN, so I MUST think gay people should go to hell.
I'm RELIGIOUS, so I MUST shove my beliefs down your throat.
I'm ATHEIST so I MUST hate the world.
I don't have a RELIGION, so I MUST be evil and have no morals
I'm REPUBLICAN, so I MUST not care about poor people.
I'm DEMOCRAT, so I MUST not believe in being responsible.
I am LIBERAL, so I MUST be gay.
I'm SOUTHERN, so I MUST be white trash.
I TAKE (or used to take) ANTI-DEPRESSANTS, so I MUST be crazy.
I'm a GUY, so I MUST only want to get into your pants.
I'm IRISH, so I MUST have a bad drinking problem.
I'm INDIAN, so I MUST own a convenient store.
I'm NATIVE AMERICAN, so I MUST dance around a fire screaming like a savage.
I'm a CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be a whore...
I'm a DANCER, So I must be stupid, stuck up, and a whore
I wear SKIRTS a lot, so I MUST be a slut.
I'm a PUNK, so I MUST do drugs.
I'm RICH, so I MUST be a conceited snob.
I WEAR BLACK, so I MUST be a goth or emo.
I'm a WHITE GIRL, so I MUST be a nagging, steal-your-money kind of girlfriend.
I'm CUBAN, so I MUST spend my spare time rolling cigars.
I'm NOT A VIRGIN, so I MUST be easy.
I FELL IN LOVE WITH A MARRIED MAN, so I MUST be a home-wrecking whore.
I'm a TEENAGE MOM, so I MUST be an irresponsible slut.
I'm ITALIAN, so I must have a "big one".
I'm EGYPTIAN, so I must be a TERRORIST!!
I'm PRETTY, so I MUST not be a virgin.
I HAVE STRAIGHT A'S, so I MUST have no social life.(Well good grades)
I DRESS IN UNUSUAL WAYS so I MUST be looking for attention.
I'm INTO THEATER & ART, so I MUST be a homosexual.
I'm a VEGETARIAN, so I MUST be a crazy political activist.
I HAVE A BUNCH OF GUY FRIENDS, so I MUST be fucking them all.
I HAVE A BUNCH OF GIRLS WHO ARE FRIENDS, so I MUST be a player.
I have Big BOOBS, so I MUST be a hoe.
I'm COLOMBIAN, so I MUST be a drug dealer.
I WEAR WHAT I WANT, so I MUST be a poser
I'm RUSSIAN, so I MUST be cool and thats how Russians roll.
I'm GERMAN, so I must be a Nazi.
I hang out with GAYS, so i must be GAY TOO
I'm BRAZILIAN, so I MUST have a BIG BUTT.
I'm AUSTRIAN, so I must be exactly like HITLER and think like a NAZI
I'm PUERTO RICAN, so I MUST look good and be conceited
I'm SALVADORIAN, so I MUST be in MS 13
I'm POLISH, so I MUST be greedy
I'm HAWAIIAN so I MUST be lazy
I'm PERUVIAN, so I MUST like llamas
I'm a STONER so I MUST be going in the wrong direction
I'm a VIRGIN so I MUST be prude
I'm STRAIGHT EDGE so I must be violent.
I'm a FEMALE GAMER, so I MUST be ugly.. or crazy.
I'm BLACK so I MUST love fried chicken and kool-aid.
I'm a GIRL who actually EATS LUNCH, so I MUST be fat.
I'm SINGLE so I MUST be ugly.
I'm a SKATER so I must do weed and steal stuff
I'm a PUNK so I must only wear black and date only other punks
I'm ASIAN so I must be a NERD that does HOMEWORK 24/7
I'm CHRISTIAN so I MUST hate homosexuals.
I'm MIXED so I must be screwed up.
I'm MUSLIM so I MUST be a terrorist.
I'm in BAND, so I MUST be a dork.
I'm BLACK so I MUST believe JESUS WUZ A BROTHA
I'm MORMON so I MUST be perfect
I'm WHITE and have black friends so I MUST think I'm black
I'm GOTH so I MUST worship the devil (So I’ve been told)
I'm HISPANIC, so I MUST be dirty.
I'm NOT LIKE EVERYONE ELSE, so I MUST be a loser.
I'm OVERWEIGHT, so I MUST have a problem with self control.
I'm PREPPY, so I MUST shun those who don't wear Abercrombie & Hollister.
I'm on a DANCE team, so I must be stupid, stuck up, and a whore.
I'm YOUNG, so I MUST be naive.
I'm RICH, so I MUST be a conceited snob
I'm MEXICAN, so I MUST have hopped the border.
I GOT A CAR FOR MY BIRTHDAY, so I MUST be a spoiled brat.
I'm BLACK, so I MUST love watermelon
I'm BI, so I MUST think every person I see is hot.
I'm an ASIAN GUY, so I MUST have a small penis.
I'm a GUY CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be gay.
I'm a PREP, so I MUST be rich.
I don't like the SUN so I MUST be an albino.
I have a lot of FRIENDS, so I MUST love to drink and party.
I wear tight PANTS and I'm a guy, so I MUST be emo.
I couldn't hurt a FLY, So I MUST be a pussy.
I support GAY RIGHTS, so I MUST fit in with everyone
I hang out with teenage drinkers and smokers, so I MUST smoke and drink too.
I have ARTISTIC TALENT, so I MUST think little of those who don't.
I don't like to be in a BIG GROUP, so I MUST be anti-social.
I have a DIFFERENT sense of HUMOR, so I MUST be crazy.
I tell people OFF, so I MUST be an over controlling bitch.
My hair gets GREASY a lot, so I MUST have no hygiene skills.
I'm DEFENSIVE, so I MUST be over controlling and a bitch.
I'm a NUDIST, so I MUST want everyone to see my boobs.
I hang out with a FORMER PROSTITUTE.. So I MUST be a whore myself.
I'm TEXAN so I MUST ride a horse
I’m a GOTH, so I MUST be a Satanist
I’m a CROSS DRESSER, so I must be homosexual.
I draw ANIME so I MUST be a freak.
I am a FANGIRL so I MUST be a crazy, obsessed stalker.
I WATCH PORN so I MUST be perverted.
I'm an ONLY CHILD so I MUST be spoiled.
I'm INTELLIGENT so I MUST be weak
I am AMERICAN so I MUST be obese, loud-mouthed and arrogant.
I'm WELSH so I MUST love sheep
I’m a YOUNG WRITER, so I MUST be emo
I’m CANADIAN, so I MUST talk with a funny accent.
I'm a GUY, so I MUST ditch my pregnant girlfriend.
I'm CANADIAN, so I MUST love hockey and beavers.
I'm DISABLED, so I MUST be on Welfare.
I'm a FEMINIST, so I MUST have a problem with sexuality and I want to castrate every man on the earth.
I'm a TEENAGER, so I MUST have a STEREOTYPE.
I WEAR A BIG SUNHAT when I go outside, so I MUST be stupid.
I like BLOOD, so I must be a VAMPIRE.
I don't like YAOI or YURI, so I must be a HOMOPHOBE
I’m not the most POPULAR person in school, so I MUST be a loser
I care about the ENVIRONMENT...I MUST be a tree hugging hippy
I have a FAN CHARACTER, so I MUST be an annoying Mary-sue.
I CHAT, I MUST be having cyber sex.
I'm PAGAN so I MUST sacrifice babies and drink the blood of virgins
I'm PAGAN so I MUST worship Satan
I'm CONSERVATIVE, so I MUST be against Abortion
I'm SWEDISH so I MUST be a tall blond blue-eyed lesbian.
I'm a LESBIAN so I MUST want to get with every single girl that I see.
I like READING, so I MUST be a LONER.
I have my OWN spiritual ideology; therefore I MUST be WRONG or MISGUIDED
I am WICCAN, so I MUST be a SATANIST.
I DISAGREE with my government, so I MUST be a TERRORIST.
I am a WITCH, so I MUST be and OLD HAG and fly on a broomstick.
I love YAOI, so I MUST be GAY.
I'm a PERSON, so I MUST be LABELED
I DON'T CURSE, so I MUST be an outcast
I like GAMES, ANIME and COMICS, so I MUST be childish
I'm SWEDISH, therefore I MUST be WHITE.
I SPOT GRAMMATICAL ERRORS, so I MUST be a pedantic bastard
I'm GOTHIC, so I MUST be mean.
I’m STRONG so I MUST be stupid.
I'm Australian so I MUST hunt crocodiles and talk to kangaroo’s
I go to RENFAIRES, so I MUST talk weird, be a loser, and not be up with the times
I’m GAY so I’m after EVERY straight guy around.
I'm NOT CHRISTIAN so I MUST just need converting
I love marching band, so I MUST be a friendless freak.
I DRINK and SMOKE, so I MUST have no life.
I write Fanfics, so I MUST be a freak!

25 REASONS I OWE MY MOTHER

1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE.
"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished
cleaning."

2. My mother taught me RELIGION.
"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."

3 . My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL.
"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of
next
week!"

4. My mother taught me LOGIC.
"Because I said so, that's why."

5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC.
"If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the
store with me."

6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.
"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."

7. My mother taught t me IRONY.
"Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about."

8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.
"Shut your mouth and eat your supper."

9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM.
"Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!"

10. My mother taught me about STAMINA.
"You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."

11. My mother taught me about WEATHER.
"This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."

12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.
"If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"

13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.
"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."

14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.
"Stop acting like your father!"

15. My mother taught me about ENVY.
"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't
have wonderful parents like you do."

16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION .
"Just wait until we get home."

17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING.
"You are going to get it when you get home!"

18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.
"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that
way."

19. My mother taught me ESP.
"Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"

20. My mother taught me HUMOR.
"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don 't come running to me."

21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT.
"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."

22. My mother taught me GENETICS.
"You're just like your father."

23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS.
"Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"

24. My mother taught me WISDOM.
"When you get to be my age, you'll understand."

25. And my favorite: My mother taught me about JUSTICE.
"One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you!"

(¸.•´ (¸.•´~Pass the ribbon around if you know someone that has survived, DIED, or is living with cancer~¸.•´) ¸.•)( My maternal grandma died and since cancer is genetic I might have it too. :|