Name: Mystica Tempest

Age: Why should I tell you? It'll just change.

Birthday: I'm an Aquarius. That's all you'll know.

Enemies: That will be one VERY long list of people, places, and things.

Friends: You don't know them. At all. Or do you? Or are you one yourself?

Location: Earth. Duh.

Occupation: What do YOU think?

Important to know: I'm nuts. Meh.

Bio: I'm a daughter of Zeus. It's weird because I think he's annoying.

WELCS TO MY WALL!!!!!!!!

This is where I will post any of my important authorish stuff and random things I feel like saying.

(10/20/12) I am now off of my hiatus. Check out my new story, When Paul Met Percy!

Some people are like slinkies...they're really good for nothing...but they still bring a smile to your face when you push them down a flight of stairs!

Weird is good, strange is bad, and odd is when you don't know which to call someone. Weird is the same as different, which is the same as unique, which makes weird good.

Women are angels. And when someone breaks our wings, we simply continue to fly... on a broomstick. We are flexible like that.

If your name is Mr. Crunch, and you joined the Navy, would you eventually be Captain Crunch

Childhood Oneshots:

HEY EVERYBODY!!! To all my loving fans from Childhood Oneshots: You people are the most AWESOME fans EVER!!!!!!!

To all flamers in the FF universe: No flames?

(10/20/12) This story is still on a hiatus, unless someone gives me an idea.

••) .•).•.•) .•) (.• (.• pass the ribbon around if you know someone that has survived, DIED, or is living with cancer.

Okay, take 3 minutes and try this...it will freak you out...BUT NO CHEATING!

This game has a funny/spooky outcome.

Don't read ahead...just do it in order! It's worth a try.

First..get a pen and paper. When you actually choose names, make sure it's people you actually know and go with your first instinct.

Scroll down one line at a time...and don't read ahead or you'll ruin it!

1. First, write the numbers 1 through 11 in a column.

2. Then, beside numbers 1 and 2, write down any two numbers you want.

3. Beside the 3 and 7, write down the names of members of the opposite sex.

4. Write anyone's name (like friends or family...) in the 4th, 5th, and 6th spots.

5. Write down four song titles in 8,9,10, and 11. (Go with your instincts!)

6. Finally, make a wish.

And now the key for the game...

1. You must tell (the number in space 2) people about this game.

2. The person in space 3 is the one that you love.

3. The person in 7 is one you like but can't work out.

4. You care most about the person you put in 4.

5. The person you name in number 5 is the one who knows you very well.

6. The person you name in 6 is your lucky star.

7. The song in 8 is the song that matches with the person in number 3.

8. The title in 9 is the song for the person in 7.

9. The tenth space is the song that tells you most about YOUR mind.

10. 11 is the song telling you how you feel about life

NOW...post this bulletin (don't reply) within the hour. IF you do, your wish will come true...

If you don't it will become the opposite.

If you love nico, copy and past this to your profile.

The Percy Jackson pledge:

I promise to remember Percy
whenever I'm at sea
I promise to remember Annabeth :) ME
whenever a spider comes at me
I promise to protect nature
for Grover's sake of course
I promise to remember Luke
when my heart fills with remorse
I promise to remember Chiron
whenever I see a sign that says ''free pony ride''
I promise to remember Tyson
whenever a friend says they'll stick by my side
I promise to remember Thalia
whenever a friend is scared of heights
I promise to remember Clarisse
whenever I see someone that gives me a fright
I promise to remember Bianca
whenever I see a sister scold her younger brother
I promise to remember Nico
whenever I see someone who doesn't get along with others
I promise to remember Zoe
whenever I watch the stars
I promise to remember Rachel
whenever a limo passes my car.
yes I promise to remember PJO
wherever I may go

Now swear it on the River Styx!

Re-post this if you laughed...
Or are planning to do any of these things

15 THINGS TO DO AT STORES

1. Set all the alarm clocks in Electronics to go off at 5-minute intervals.

2. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms.

3. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone,
" 'Code 3' in housewares"... and see what happens.

4. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.

5. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

6. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department.

7. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask,
"Why can't you people just leave me alone?"

8. Look right into the security camera & use it as a mirror, and pick your nose.

9. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti - depressants are.

10. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.

11. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna look" using different size funnels.

12. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through,
say "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!"

13. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream..
"NO! NO! It's those voices again!"

14. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!"

15. Get several bouncy balls and throw them down an aisle shouting "pikachu, I choose you!"

Ninety-five percent of teenagers are concerned about being popular. If you are one of the five percent who aren't, copy this, put it in your profile, and add your name to the list: Queen S of Randomness 016, Queen B of Randomness 016, AnimieKittyCaffe, The Gypsy Pirate Queen, That Bloody Demon, The Astrology Nerd, Shadow929, Crazy Billie Joe Loving Freak, Yavie Aelienel, Hyperactively Bored, Spymaster E, Shanny-Boo, Gem W, Brown-eyed angelofmusic, piratesswriter/fairy to be, Bara-Minomoto, Em Quagmire, Buffy The Mary-Sue Slayer, Random Little Writer, Larxene II, Dragons Ark, freakyanimegal456, The Sage of Spirits, Twilight Princess6, Solo384, mythologirl, In The Closet FanFic Reader, MysticaTempest,

YOUR GUY SIDE

You love hoodies.
You love jeans.
Dogs are better than cats.(they're both adorable!)
Its hilarious when people get hurt
You've played with/against boys on a team
Shopping is torture.
Sad movies suck.

You own/ed an XBox

Played with Hotwheel cars as a kid.
At some point in time you wanted to be a firefighter.
You own/ed a DS, PS2 or Sega.
You used to be obsessed with Power Rangers.
You watch sports on TV.
Gory movies are cool.
You go to your dad for advice
You own like a trillion baseball caps.
You like going to high school football games.
You used to/do collect baseball/football cards.
Baggy pants are cool to wear.
Its kinda weird to have sleepovers with a bunch of people.
Green, black, blue, red, or silver are one of your favorite colors.
You love to go crazy and not care what people think.
Sports are fun.
Talk with food in your mouth.
Sleep with your socks on at night.

TOTAL:13/25 (meh.)

YOUR GIRL SIDE

You wear lip gloss/chapstick.

You love to shop.
You wear eyeliner/eye shadow.
You wear the color pink.
Go to your mom for advice.
You consider cheerleading a sport.
You hate wearing the color black.(I love wearing the color black.)
You like hanging out at the mall.
You like getting manicures and/or pedicures.
You like wearing jewelry.
Skirts are a big part of your wardrobe.
Shopping is one of your favorite hobbies.

You don't like the movie Star Wars.
You were in gymnastics/dance.
It takes you around/more than one hour to shower, get dressed, and make-up.
You smile a lot more than you should.
You have more than 10 pairs of shoes.
You care about what you look like.
You like wearing dresses when you can.
You like wearing body spray/perfume/cologne.
You love the movies.
Used to play with dolls as a little kid.
Like putting make-up on someone else for the joy/joke of it.
Like being the star of everything.

TOTAL: 15/24

PREP

You own a cell phone. (Um, most teens own a cell phone.)
You own something from Abercrombie.
You own something from Pac sun.
You own something from Hollister.
You own something from American eagle.
You love/like going to the mall.
You own an iPod/MP3 player.
You love Starbucks.
You have been called a brat.
You hate buying things that are on sale.(Anyone who is like this is nuts. Completely and entirely nuts. {no offense})
You have more than one house.

Total:7/11(Ack! This isn't good!)

GOTHIC

Black is one of your favourite colors.
You have thought about death.
You wear chains.
You like heavy metal.
You've shopped at Hot Topic.
You have worn black lipstick.

Your hair was/is dark.(Naturally)
You dislike preps.

Total: 6/8

PUNK

You can skateboard
You've worn plaid.
You like Converse.
You hate MTV.
You have/had blue, pink, red, purple, or green hair. - (I wish but my mom says no.)
You dislike pink.
You hate/dislike preps.
You wear/wore skateboarding shoes.

Total: 4/7

GEEK

You love the computer.
You like Harry Potter.
You are supposed to wear glasses/contacts
You get straight A's.(usually)
You love/like reading.
You were/are in band.
You don't care what you look like.
You have a curfew.

You always do your homework.
You never miss school unless you're sick.

Total: 4

ATHLETIC

You watch/watched the Super bowl.
You own track shoes or other sports related shoes.
You collect your jerseys.
You have a wall or shelf dedicated to your trophies / awards.
You have posters or plaques of famous athletes.
Your garage consists of sports equipment.
You belong/belonged to a school team.
You are going/did go to a sports summer camp.
You have a specific number.

Total: 4(This is VERY shocking...I'm not the most athletic person in the world...)

If you're a Demigod copy this into your profile and sign your name

Shorty/Kris

KG/Lizzy

Wisegirl101/Lindsay

WiseOne27

SeaweedBrain013/Sebz

CloudyAlore/Faye

XxxBeLLxXxGiRlxxX76/Bells

xXthe shadow huntressxX

annapercy1

Hula

The
New Ace of Spies

7Cerberus7

Storyteller-221/Kali
Lennor

AthenaPersephone14

Laserfire

PoseidonChick101

ArabellaVioletGray

AzianDemigod16

biancadiangelo0703

Angel’s
Detective

xxAirplanesInTheNightSkyxx

Silents-in-the-Library

MysticaTempest

Annoying things to do on an elevator: LOLZZZZZ!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

1) CRACK open your briefcase or handbag, peer Inside and ask "Got enough air in there?"

2) STAND silent and motionless in the corner facing the wall without getting off.

3) WHEN arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act as if you're embarrassed when they open themselves.

4) GREET everyone with a warm handshake and ask him or her to call you Admiral.

5) MEOW occasionally.

6) STARE At another passenger for a while. Then announce in horror: "You're one of THEM" - and back away slowly

7) SAY -DING at each floor.

8) SAY "I wonder what all these do?" And push all the red buttons.

9) MAKE explosion noises when anyone presses a button.

10) STARE, grinning at another passenger for a while, then announce: "I have new socks on."

11) WHEN the elevator is silent, look around and ask: "Is that your beeper?"

12) TRY to make personal calls on the emergency phone.

13) DRAW a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers: "This is my personal space."

14) WHEN there's only one other person in the elevator, tap them on the shoulder, then pretend it wasn't you.

15) PUSH the buttons and pretend they give you a shock. Smile, and go back for more.

16) ASK if you can push the button for other people but push the wrong ones.

17) HOLD the doors open and say you're waiting for your friend. After a while, let the doors close and say "Hi Greg, How's your day been?"

18) DROP a pen and wail until someone reaches to help pick it up, then scream: "That's mine!"

19) BRING a camera and take pictures of everyone in the lift.

20) PRETEND you're a flight attendant and review emergency procedures and exits with the Passengers.

21) SWAT at flies that don't exist.

22) CALL out "Group hug" then enforce it.

Everybody wants to go to heaven; but nobody wants to die.

An apple a day keeps the doctor away, but if the doctor is cute, screw the fruit!

Boys are like trees - they take 50 years to grow up.

Girls are like phones. We love to be held, talked too but if you press the wrong button you'll be disconnected!

There are no stupid questions, just stupid people.

Life isn't passing me by, it's trying to run me over.

Don't hate yourself in the morning - sleep till noon.

You laugh now because you're older than me by mere months, but when you're 30 and I'm still 29, who will be laughing then?

You say I'm not cool. But cool is another word for cold. If I'm not cold, I'm hot. I know I'm hot. Thanks for embracing it.

"Wal-Mart, do they, like, sell walls there?" - Paris Hilton

Fergie taught me how to spell delicious and glamorous. But not so much tastey!

When it rains on my party, I bust out the slip n' slide.

They say "Guns don't kill people, people kill people." Well I think the guns help. If you stood there and yelled BANG, I don't think you'd kill to many people.

when life gives you lemons spit lemons into lifes eyes

When life gives you lemons, squirt lemon juice into the eyes of your enemies! : D

-I'm not paranoid... WHICH ONE OF MY ENEMIES TOLD YOU THIS!

-If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried

-Flying is simple. Just throw yourself at the ground and miss.

-Don’t knock on death’s door. Ring the bell and run. He hates that.

-Guns don’t kill people. Bullets kill people.

-Trying is the first step toward failure

-If you think that the Cookie Crisp wolf should stop coping the Trix Rabbit and needs to get his own life, copy and paste this into your profile.

-My mind works like lightning...one flash and then it's gone.

-The newscaster is the person who says "Good evening" and then tells you why not.

Boy, I didn't fall for you, you tripped me!

Don't judge a man until you've walked a mile in his moccasins. That way you'll be a mile away from him and you'll have his shoes.

When someone annoys you it takes 42 muscles to frown about it but it only takes 4 muscles to extend your arm and punch the crap out of them.

Be insane... because well behaved girls never made history.

Why do they sterilize needles for lethal injections?

Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office? What are we supposed to do . . . write to these men?

Why is dyslexic so hard to spell?

Why is verb a noun?

Is it good if a vacuum really sucks?

Why do we sing "Take me out to the ball game" when we're already there?

Why is it called after dark when really it's after light?

The dinosaur's extinction wasn't an accident. Barney came and they all committed suicide.

Labels are for cans, and in case you haven't noticed, I'm not a can!

Excuse me. Have you seen my sanity? I think I've lost it...

Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us how to walk and talk, then the rest of our lives telling us to sit down and shut up.

Things to do when bored in a store

1. Hide in a clothing rack. When people come by, you scream "PICK ME! PICK ME!"

2. Look straight into a security camera, wave, and then pick your nose and eat it.

3. When you hear an announcment being made curl up on the floor in a fetal position and scream "NO! NOT THE VOICES AGAIN!"

4. Go into a fitting room, wait a while then yell "Hey! There's no toilet paper in here!"

5. Get a medium-sized red bouncy ball, throw it down an aisle and say "Pikatchu, I choose you!"

6. Press the customer service button until someone comes, say 'hi', then run away as fast as you can.

7. Open a jar of tomato sauce, and make a lined all the way to the girls bathroom.

(Put this on your page if u like music)
(o) music

Put this in your profile
if you love to laugh!

1. Which book from the series was your favorite? Why?
Titans curse, because it has sooooooo many PERCABETH MOMENTS!!!!!!

2. Which Olympian god/goddess is your favorite? Least favorite?

Hermes is my favorite, and Athena. Zeus gets on my nerves.

3. Which half-blood/mortal in the series is your favorite? Least favorite?

Percy is my fave, and so is Annabeth. But i really don't like Rachel.

This or That

Percabeth (Percy and Annabeth) or Lukabeth (Luke and Annabeth)?

Percabeth! Lukabeth is gross.

Annabeth or Rachel?

Annabeth. Its almost like Rachel is trying to get Percy to cheat on Annabeth with her.

Thalia or Luke?

Thalia.

Riptide or Backbiter?

Riptide.

Wisdom or the Sea?

Wisdom. Not a big fan of water, sorry.

Contrary to popular belief, America is not a democracy, it is a Percabethtatorship.

There are no steroids in baseball. Just the power of Percabeth.

A picture is worth a thousand words. A Percabeth moment is worth 1 billion words.

When taking the SAT, write "Percabeth" for every answer. You will score over 8000.

Rick Riordan once worked as a weatherman for the San Diego evening news. Every night he would make the same forecast: Partly cloudy with a 100 chance of Percabeth.

If at first you don't succeed, you're not a Percabeth shipper.

As President Roosevelt said: "We have nothing to fear but fear itself. And pairings that go against Percabeth."

In a fight between Batman and Darth Vader, the winner would be Percabeth.

He who lives by the sword, dies by the sword. He who lives by Percabeth never dies.

To be or not to be? That is the question. The answer? Percabeth.

All roads lead to Percabeth. And by the transitive property, total awesomeness.

There’s an order to the universe: space, time, Percabeth... Just kidding, Percabeth is first.

Only Percabeth can prevent forest fires.

The pen is mighter than the sword, but only if the pen is held by a Percabeth shipper

Most people know that Descarte said, "I think, therefore I am." What most people don't know is that that quote continues, "...a Percabeth shipper."

He, who laughs last, laughs best. He who laughs at Percabeth … dies.

People have often asked the United States, What is your secret weapon against terrorists? We simply reply...Percabeth.

The active ingredient in Red Bull is Percabeth juice.?????

Some people say that Percabeth is a myth. Those "some people" are now dead.

60 WAYZ TO ORDER PIZZA! P.S: YOU CAN FIND OTHER JOKES LIKE THIS AT http:///joke/pizza60.html HAVE FUN! :D

1. If using a touch-tone, press random numbers while ordering. Ask the person taking the order to stop doing that.

2. Make up a charge-card name. Ask if they accept it.

3. Order a Big Mac Extra Value Meal.

4. Terminate the call with, "Remember, we never had this conversation."

5. Tell the order taker a rival pizza place is on the other line and you're going with the lowest bidder.

6. Give them your address, exclaim, "Oh, just surprise me!" and hang up.

7. In your breathiest voice, tell them to cut the crap about nutrition and ask if they have something outlandishly sinful.

8. Tell them to put the crust on top this time.

9. Sing the order to the tune of your favorite song from Metallica's Master of Puppets CD.

10. Do not name the toppings you want. Rather, spell them out.

11. Put an extra edge in your voice when you say "crazy bread."

12. Ask for a deal available somewhere else. (e.g., If phoning Domino's, ask for a Cheeser! Cheeser!)

13. Ask what the order taker is wearing.

14. Crack your knuckles into the receiver.

15. Say hello, act stunned for five seconds, then behave as if they called you.

16. Rattle off your order with a determined air. If they ask if you would like drinks with that, panic and become disoriented.

17. Tell the order taker you're depressed. Get him/her to cheer you up.

18. Change your accent every three seconds.

19. Order 52 pepperoni slices prepared in a fractal pattern as follows from an equation you are about to dictate. Ask if they need paper.

20. Start your order with "I'd like. . .". A little later, slap yourself and say, "No, I don't."

21. If they repeat the order to make sure they have it right, say, "Okay, that'll be $10.99; please pull up to the first window."

22. Rent a pizza.

23. Ask if you get to keep the pizza box. When they say yes, heave a sigh of relief.

24. Put the accent on the last syllable of "pepperoni." Use the long "i" sound.

25. Have your pizza "shaken, not stirred."

26. Move the mouthpiece farther and farther from your lips as you speak. When the call ends, jerk the mouthpiece back into place and scream GOODBYE at the top of your lungs.

27. Tell them to double-check to make sure your pizza is, in fact, dead.

28. Imitate the order taker's voice.

29. Eliminate verbs from your speech.

30. When they say, "What would you like?"--say, "Huh? Oh, you mean now."

31. Say it's your anniversary and you'd appreciate if the deliverer hid behind some furniture waiting for your spouse to arrive so you can surprise him/her.

32. Ask to see a menu.

33. Say you'll be able to pay for this when the movie people call back.

34. Ask what topping goes best with well-aged Chardonnay.

35. Order a slice, not a whole pizza.

36. Doze off in the middle of the order, catch yourself, and say, "Where was I? Who are you?"

37. Ask what the pizza place's phone number is. Hang up, and call again.

38. Order two toppings, then say, "No, they'll start fighting."

39. Tell the order taker to tell the manager to tell his supervisor he's fired.

40. Ask for the guy who took your order last time.

41. Start the conversation with "My Call to Pizza Place, Take 1, and. . . action!"

42. Ask if the pizza is organically grown.

43. Ask about pizza maintenance and repair.

44. Be vague in your order.

45. When they repeat your order, say, "Again, with a little more OOMPH this time."

46. If using a touch-tone press 9-1-1 every 5 seconds throughout the order.

47. Start the conversation by reciting today's date and saying, "This may be my last entry."

48. Ask if they would like to sample your pizza. Suggest an even trade.

49. Put them on hold.

50. Teach the order taker a secret code. Use the code on all subsequent orders.

51. Make the first topping you order mushrooms. Make the last thing you say, "No mushrooms, please." Hang up before they have a chance to respond.

52. When the order is repeated, change it slightly. When it is repeated again, change it again. On the third time, say, "You just don't get it, do you?"

53. When you're given the price, say, "Ooooooo, that sounds complicated. I hate math."

54. Order term life insurance.

55. When they say, "Will that be all?"--snicker and say, "We'll find out, won't we?"

56. Ask how many dolphins were killed to make that pizza.

57. While on the phone, fake entering puberty. Fluctuate pitch often; act embarrassed.

58. Dance all around the word "pizza." Avoid saying it at all costs. If (s)he says it, say, "Please don't mention that word."

59. Order a steamed pizza.

60. If any of the above practices are rejected by the order taker, say, in your best pouty voice, "Last guy let me do it."

50 ways to fail an exam

1. Bring a pillow. Fall asleep (or pretend to) until the last 15 minutes. Wake up, say "oh gee, better get cracking," and scribble furiously. Turn it in a few minutes early.

2. Get a copy of the exam, run out screaming "Andre, Andre, I've got the secret documents!"

3. If it is a math or science exam, answer in essay form. If it is long answer or essay exam, answer with numbers and symbols. Be creative. Use the integral symbol.

4. Make paper airplanes out of the exam. Aim them at the instructor's left nostril.

5. Talk the entire way through the exam. Read the questions aloud and debate your answers with yourself out loud. If asked to stop, yell out sarcastically, "I'm so sure you can hear me thinking." Then start talking about what a jerk the instructor is.

6. Bring cheerleaders.

7. Walk in, get the exam, and sit down. About five minutes into the exam, loudly say to the instructor, "I don't understand any of this. I've been to every lecture this semester! What's the deal? And who are you? Where's the regular guy?"

8. Bring a video game. Play with the volume at max level.

9. On the answer sheet find a new, interesting way to refuse to answer every question. For example, write "I refuse to answer this question on the grounds that it conflicts with my religious beliefs". Be creative.

10. Bring pets.

11. Run into the exam room looking about frantically. Breathe a sigh of relief. Go to the instructor and say "They've found me, I have to leave the country" and run off.

12. Fifteen minutes into the exam, stand up, rip up all the papers into very small pieces, throw them into the air and yell out "Merry Christmas." If you're really daring, ask for another copy of the exam. Say you lost the first one. Repeat this process every fifteen minutes.

13. Do the exam with crayons, paint, or fluorescent markers.

14. Come into the exam wearing slippers, a bathrobe, a towel on your head, and nothing else.

15. Come down with a bad case of Turet's Syndrome during the exam. Be as vulgar as possible.

16. Complete the entire exam in another language. If you don't know one, make one up! For maths or science exams, try using Roman numerals.

17. Bring things to throw at the instructor when she or he is not looking. Blame it on the person nearest to you.

18. As soon as the instructor hands you the exam, eat it.

19. Walk into the exam with an entourage. Claim you are going to be taping your next video during the exam. Try to get the instructor to let them stay. Tell the instructor to expect a percentage of the profits if they are allowed to stay.

20. Every five minutes, stand up, collect all your things, move to another seat, and continue with the exam.

21. Turn in the exam approximately 30 minutes in. As you walk out, start commenting on how easy it was.

22. Do the entire exam as if it was multiple choice and true/false. If it is a multiple choice exam, spell out interesting things (DCCAB. BABE. etc..).

23. Bring a black marker. Return the exam with all questions and answers completely blacked out.

24. Get the exam. Twenty minutes into it, throw your papers down violently, swear loudly and walk out triumphantly.

25. Arrange a protest before the exam starts. You could threaten the instructor that whether or not everyone's done, they are all leaving after one hour to go drink.

26. At some point during the exam, start crying for mommy.

27. Every now and then, clap twice rapidly. If the instructor asks why, tell him or her in a very derogatory tone, "the light bulb that goes on above my head when I get an idea is hooked up to a clapper."

28. Comment on how sexy the instructor is looking that day.

29. Come to the exam wearing a black cloak. After about 30 minutes, put on a white mask and start yelling "I'm here, the phantom of the opera," until they drag you away.

30. Go to an exam for a class you have no clue about, where you know the class is very small, and the instructor would recognize you if you belonged. Claim that you have been to every lecture. Fight for your right to take the exam.

31. Upon receiving the exam, look it over. While laughing loudly, say "you don't really expect me to waste my time on this drivel? 'Days of our Lives' is on!"

32. Bring a water pistol with you. Enough said.

33. From the moment the exam begins, hum the theme to 'Jeopardy'. Ignore the instructor's requests for you to stop. When they finally get you to leave one way or another, begin whistling the theme to 'The Bridge on the River Kwai'.

34. Start a brawl in the middle of the exam.

35. If the exam is maths or science related, make up the longest proofs you could possibly think of. Work PI and imaginary numbers into most equations. If it is a written exam, relate everything to your own life story.

36. Come in wearing a full knight's outfit, complete with sword and shield.

37. Bring a friend to give you a back massage the entire way through the exam. Insist this person is needed, because you have bad circulation.

38. Bring cheat sheets from another class (make sure this is obvious... like history notes for a calculus exam) and staple them to the exam, with the comment "Please use the attached notes for references as you see fit."

39. When you walk in, complain about the heat. Strip.

40. After you get the exam, call the instructor over, point to any question, ask him or her to work it out for you.

41. Wrestlemania.

42. Bring balloons, blow them up, and start throwing them around like they do before concerts start.

43. Try to get people in the room to do the Mexican wave.

44. Play frisbee with a friend at the other side of the room.

45. Bring some large, cumbersome, ugly idol. Put it right next to you. Pray to it often. Consider a small sacrifice.

46. Get deliveries of candy, flowers, balloons, and telegrams sent to you every few minutes throughout the exam.

47. During the exam, take apart everything around you. This includes desks, chairs, and anything you can reach.

48. Complete the exam with everything you write being backwards at a 90 degree angle.

49. Bring a musical instrument with you and play various tunes. If you are asked to stop, claim "it helps me think." Bring a copy of the student handbook with you, challenging the instructor to find the section on musical instruments during finals. Don't forget to use the phrase "Told you so".

50. Answer the exam with the "Top Ten Reasons Why Professor (name) Sucks."

40 more things to do in the elevator!

Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering, 'Shut up, all of you just shut UP!'

Whistle the first seven notes of 'It's a Small World' incessantly.

Sell Girl Scout cookies.

On a long ride, sway side to side at the natural frequency of the elevator.

Shave.

On the highest floor, hold the door open and demand that it stay open until you hear the penny you dropped down the shaft go 'plink' at the bottom.

Do Tai Chi exercises.

When at least 8 people have boarded, moan from the back, 'Oh, not now, motion sickness!'

Frown and mutter 'gotta go, gotta go' then sigh and say 'oops!'

Show other passengers a wound and ask if it looks infected.

Sing 'Mary had a little lamb' while continually pushing buttons.

Holler 'Chutes away!' whenever the elevator descends.

Leave a box between the doors.

Ask each passenger getting on if you can push the button for them. Press the wrong ones.

Wear a puppet on your hand and talk to other passengers 'through' it.

Start a sing-along.

Play the harmonica.

Lean against the button panel.

Listen to the elevator walls with a stethoscope.

Bring a chair along.

Blow spit bubbles.

Pull your gum out of your mouth in long strings.

Carry a blanket and clutch it protectively.

Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button

Wear 'X-Ray Specs' and leer suggestively at other passengers.

Stare at your thumb and say 'I think it's getting larger.'

If anyone brushes against you, recoil and holler 'Bad touch!'

Here are the twenty five best responses if found asleep at your desk!

25. "Oh, Man! Come in at 6 in the morning and look what happens!"

24. "This is one of the seven habits of highly effective people!"

23. "This is in exchange for the six hours last night when I dreamed about work!"

22. "You don't discriminate against those with Latient Atrophy Zymosis Yeast syndrome, do you?!"

21. "Gee, I thought you (the boss) were gone for the day."

20. "They told me at the blood bank this might happen."

19. "Oh, hi, I was trying to pick up my contact lens without my hands."

18. "This is just a 15 minute power-nap like they raved about in the last time management course you sent me to."

17. "Whew! Guess I left the top off the liquid paper."

16. "I was just meditating on the mission statement and envisioning a new paradigm!"

15. "This is one of the seven habits of highly effective people!"

14. "I was testing the keyboard for drool resistance."

13. "I'm doing the "Stress Level Elimination Exercise Plan" (SLEEP) I learned at the last mandatory seminar you made me attend."

12. "It worked well for Reagan, didn't it?"

11. "This is a highly specific Yoga position to relieve work-related stress."

10. "Just pacing myself for the all-nighter tonight!"

9. "I was working smarter-not harder."

8. "Auggh! Why did you interrupt me? I had almost figured out a solution to our biggest problem."

7. "I'm in the management training program."

6. "The coffee machine is broken."

5. "This is one of the seven habits of highly effective people!"

4. "Boy, that cold medicine I took last night just won't wear off!"

3. "Ah, the unique and unpredictable circadian rhythms of the workaholic!"

2. "Its okay. I'm still billing the client."

And the #1 response if found asleep at your desk:

1. "... and I especially want to thank you for my excellent boss. Amen."

How To Keep A Healthy Level Of Insanity!

At lunchtime, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at passing cars. See if they slow down.

Page yourself over the intercom. Don't disguise your voice.

Insist that your email address is: Xena_Warrior_Princess@ or Elvis_the_King@

Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that.

Put your garbage can on your desk and label it "IN."

Develop an unnatural fear of staplers.

Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has gotten over their caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.

Reply to everything someone says with, "That's what you think."

Finish all your sentences with "In accordance with the prophecy."

Adjust the tint on your monitor so that the brightness level lights up the entire work area. Insist to others that you like it that way.

Dont use any punctuation

As often as possible, skip rather than walk.

Specify that your drive-through order is "to go."

Sing along at the opera.

Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don't rhyme.

Find out where your boss shops and buy exactly the same outfits. Wear them one day after your boss does. This is especially effective if your boss is of the opposite gender.

Send email to the rest of the company to tell them what you're doing. For example, "If anyone needs me, I'll be in the bathroom, in stall 3."

Put mosquito netting around your cubicle. Play a tape of jungle sounds all day.

Five days in advance, tell your friends you can't attend their party because you're not in the mood.

Call 911 and ask if 911 is for emergencies.

Call the psychic hotline and don't say anything.

Have your coworkers address you by your wrestling name, Rock Hard.

When the money comes out of the ATM, scream "I Won! I Won!"

When leaving the zoo, start running towards the parking lot yelling, "Run for your lives, they're loose!"

Tell your boss, "It's not the voices in my head that bother me, it's the voices in your head that do."

Tell your children over dinner, "Due to the economy, we are going to have to let one of you go."

Every time you see a broom yell, "Honey, your mother is here!"

Girl: Do I ever cross your mind?

Boy: no.

Girl: Do you like me?

Boy: no

Girl: Do you want me?

Boy: no.

Girl: Would you cry if I left?

Boy: no.

Girl: Would you live for me?

Boy: no.

Girl: Would you do anything for me?

Boy: no

Girl: Choose: me or your life.

Boy: My life.

The girl runs away in shock and pain and the boy runs after her and says:

Boy: The reason you never cross my mind is because you're always on my mind.

The reason why I don't like you is because I love you.

The reason why I don't want you is because I need you.

The reason why I wouldn't cry if you left is because I would die if you left.

The reason why I wouldn't live for you is because I would die for you.

The reason why I wouldn't do anything for you is because I would do EVERYTHING for you.

The reason I chose my life is because you ARE my life.

Ways to Annoy people at the cinema:

Throw popcorn in the air and yell, "It's snowing!"

Go, "Oooooh..." whenever anyone kisses.

Clap when the good guy gets killed.

During the previews, yell, "Can you fast-forward it?"

Whenever the bad guy is doing something devious, say, "Watch out!"

Laugh very loudly at all the corny jokes.

Tell the man selling popcorn that the bathroom is flooding.

Yell out what is going to happen.

Wear a cape and when its your turn to get popcorn yell, "I'm Batman! Hahaha!" and run away.

Say that they cannot sit next to you because you invisible friend already is.

Dress for every movie as if it were the Rocky Horror Picture Show.

Use empty chairs next to you as catapults with candy. Aim at specific people behind you and see if you can hit anyone in the back row.

Wear 3D glasses. Complain loudly how bad the effects are.

Bring a flashlight. In the middle of the film do shadow puppets on the ceiling.

Bring a remote control. Complain that you can't change the channel.

Sit front row, the minute the movie starts run out screaming.

Every time a character's name is mentioned do the Richmeister. (for a guy named Nick say, the Nickmeister, the Nickenator, Nickarino...)

Bring a beach ball. Toss it around.

Try to start a wave.

Become a bookie. Take bets on who will die first.

Sit in the back and throw eggs at the projection window.

Every time someone curses cover your ears and scream, "No profanity!"

Sing with the theme music.

Bring and use your own air freshener.

At the ticket booth, request tickets for really old movies, "I'll have two tickets for the Goonies."

Throw spit wads on the screen. Try throwing them on the upper part of the screen so they can't get scraped off.

Pass around a collection plate and see if anyone contributes.

Point a laser pointer at the screen. Give the audience a laser light show.

Bring a book and a bright light. Start reading the book with the light on. When someone asks you to turn out the light, yell, "Shh, I'm trying to read!"

Use binoculars. Stare at the audience rather than the movie.

Bring a Nintendo laser gun. Shoot at the screen.

Clap loudly every time a person walks into the theater late.

When someone kicks the back of your chair, scream, "Ahhh, whiplash!"

Ask what the theater's return policy on popcorn is.

Ask the person at the ticket window, "Do you work here?"

Start a standing ovation at the end of the movie.

Quote all dialogue 4 seconds after it is said on the screen.

Get up frequently and leave the room while singing "Let's all go to the Lobby to get ourselves a treat"

Every time there is a gun shot scream, "Hit the floor!", jump on the floor, and cover your head.

Wear one of those "cat in the hat" top hats.

When someone walks by you in the aisle scream, "Ahhhhhh! Bad Touch!"

Play musical chairs, getting up frequently and moving right next to someone sitting by themself.

Bring your own beanbag chair and sit in the aisle.

During a love scene, stand up and run to the screen shouting "Hooters!"

Before the movie begins, tape fart cusions to various chairs in the theater room.

Bring a portable air popper, pop your own popcorn.

Bring a watergun and shoot it at anyone who begins talking then say very loudly, "SHH!"

Before the commercials start and people are just coming in and shout so that people outside can hear, "I'M SO VERY SORRY! YOU'RE TOO LATE!"

Tie a cardboard box around your waist and walk up and down the aisles shouting "Get your popcorn, peanuts!"

Cough really loudly right at the most important part of the movie, so nobody can here it, like when the killer’s name is going to be said.

Laugh hysterically during the sad parts in the movie, cry during the funny ones.

Bring a pager or cellphone and set them off every 5 minutes, you can also set off a watch alarm if you have a loud one.

How To Annoy People On The Beach

Ask everyone you meet, "Hot enough for you?"
Sing the "Barney" theme song as loud as you can.
If you see kids building a sand castle, say, "That's not a real castle!"
Every time when you're about to duck under the water, yell, "Down periscope!"
Go swimming in a full business suit. If people notice, act like they're the weirdos.
Put sea shell to your ear and announce to first person to pass by, "It's for you!" Repeat several times.
Throw jellyfish around.
Tune radio to all-news station and blast as loud as you can, then nod your head and snap your fingers like you're listening to some happenin' tunes.
Act like a sea gull.
Wear t-shirt that says, "I'm the coolest dude on this pathetic beach. No autographs please."

How To Annoy People
At An Amusement Park

Dress up like one of the photographers and follow people around asking them repeatly if they would like their picture taken.
Leave large gaps in between you and the people in front of you while waiting in line.
Everytime you pass a chain restraint not in use, clip it on and use it to hold back the people behind you in line.
Ask the person running the roller coaster if someone has recently thrown up on it.
Pretend to freak out on a ride so they stop it to let you off.
Offer people money for their spots in line...MONOPOLY money.
Speak in Spanish, or pretend you're deaf and start making rapid hand movements.
Start talking about shaving your excess body hair in line while everyone around you is silent.
Find someone and tell them you're lost. Use your best acting skills.
Steal all of the pennies out of the water fountains.
Go up to the boy band wanna-be group and pretend to be really excited and ask for their autographs, reassuring them that they're gonna make it big soon.
Take an Alka-Seltzer tablet and begin to have spasmatic movements in your body while foaming at the mouth at the very top of the tallest ride.
Ask the ride attendant if you cannot ride because you are under the influence of herione, marijuana, crack, and every other drug you can think of.
Begin to cry when they start the merry-go-round and have them stop it because you're too scared to go all the way.
Start talking loudly about the last time you got stuck upside-down on this ride, scaring everyone in line around you.
Ask someone that looks like they're in a hurry for directions.
Complain about how dirty the seat is, and demand they clean it off.
Walk up to anyone in the park, and say "Hi, my name is your name" and offer a handshake.
Ask ANYONE for their autograph.
Advertise for a theme park...one you're not at.
Find someone to tell your life story to.
Whisper right in someone's ear, "I know what you did last summer."
Comment how good you look in every picture of you on a ride.
Make fun of everyone else in every set of pictures taken during the rides.
Go up to every character walking around and give them a big hug and call them your "hero."
Ride every water ride and inform everybody with you that you can’t swim and everyone's gonna drown.

Take Time To Read Each Sentence

This is this cat

This is is cat

This is how cat

This is to cat

This is keep cat

This is a cat

This is retard cat

This is busy cat

This is for cat

This is forty cat

This is seconds cat

Now read the THIRD word of every line

hahahah!! funnyness!!

R.I.P.-Zoe Nightshade, Bianca diAngelo, Castor(son of Mr. D), Pan, Quintus/Daedulus, Lee Fletcher, and all of the other Demigods who fell fighting for Camp Half-Blood.

They will never be forgotten

This is a sad story

(This is something sad that brought tears to my eyes)

A girl and guy were speeding over 100 mph on the road on a motorcycle...

Girl: Slow down, I'm scared.

Guy: No, this is fun.

Girl: No it's not. Please it's too scary!

Guy: Then tell me you love me.

Girl: Fine I love you. Slow down!

Guy: Now give me a BIG hug...

Girl hugs him

Guy: Can you take my helmet off and put it on yourself? It's bugging me.

(in the paper the next day)

A motorcycle had crashed into a building because of
brake failure.

Two people were on it, but only 1 had survived.

The truth was that halfway down the road, the guy realized that his brake broke, but he didn't want to let the girl know.

Instead,he had her say she loved him and felt her hug one last time, then hehad her wear his helmet so that she would live even though it meantthat he would die.

If you love any one this much...let them know...before its too late...

If you would do this for someone or if this touched you, copy and paste this onto your profile. I did!