This is fantastically built, with the perfect mix of magic and humanity. I love Lily here - she's human, with flaws, and that's the best part. :)
This was beautifully written, like usual, Sophy. Your SPaG is flawless, and you always create a wonderful mixture of poetry and prose.
Wow! This is great - structure, word choice, characterization, plot, concept, everything. Good job.

This was so, so beautiful. I loved the 'visible souls' concept, and I think Lily was just the right narrator for it. You've characterised her perfectly - not as the wonderful angel that some people make her, but a human with human flaws. My favourite part was part 9, especially the line about James helping Lily to find a Hufflepuff's lost pet; I don't know, I just thought it was incredibly sweet. The whole thing of how her soul feels heavy and light to correspond with her emotions was wonderful, too, and the whole story is beautifully written. Well done!

Beautiful. I loved the idea of keys that people wear around their necks, showing their inner feelings and soul. Especially the fact that your lover could open up your key.
I did find the way you labeled the sections a little strange, but no one said you had to follow Roman numerals.
I did feel there was one sentence, in the fifty-second paragraph, where the flow is a little off. I think the sentence needs to be shortened or divided into two.
- Deb.

The fantasy elements in this fic are so whimiscal and beautifully constructed. Like, the whole visible souls thing? So creative! Such an amazing idea that I'm definitely going to spend time pondering even after I close this window. You did a wonderful job with that- I've never seen anything like this fic and you captured me from the first line. It's steeped in mystery and I love the way you've shown the Evans parents- worried, but willing to let it go. Also, your prose is flawless. Overall, this fic was just really, really great! :)

Do you want to know how to spell perfection, beautiful, heartbreaking, etc., in one word? Jily.
This was no exception. That was so, so so so so pretty. I loved it, I loved it, I loved it. I don't know what else to say D: it was just so perfect. The concept is unique, separating it from the millions of other Jily one shots out there. Each little snapshot was beautiful, and added to the whole perfectly. Lock and key. Wow. Characterization was perfect, writing was perfect.
Wow.

I absolutely -adore- the idea of visible souls. It makes me wonder so much about them. About wizards and witches who marry Muggles, or how exactly the hearts and keys work. It's fascinating and an absolutely brilliant idea, and I love the fact that it's such an important thread throughout the story. The fact that it plays out the way it does in canon between Severus and Lily makes me sad-I do wish they had been able to remain friends. Lily's speech to James is inspired, and I hope that did help him actually grow up. And I love the end, it's so sweet.

Visible souls. What an interesting idea - and one that I think was very well-executed. This was a great peek into Lily's head, and what you did with souls just kept me glued to the page. Lily's connection to Severus and embracing the magical world at the beginning was just perfect, and as the story went on it just got better and better. I am blown away, and I really can't find the words to describe what a great story I think this is. So yeah - very well done, and if you end up writing more for this I will definitely be reading it!

This was such a cool AU - I've never seen anything remotely like it before. The idea of visible souls is such an original, creative thought, and I really like the way you wrote it here, especially when you described how Lily's heart pendant reflected the way she felt inside. I really like the canon that you included here, also, and how you really didn't change too much apart from adding the visible souls. SPaG was pretty good; I saw a few small mistakes but nothing that major.

I really love the last section, especially. It was just beautifully written, and I really love how James finally unlocks Lily's heart, and it makes the two of them completely in tune with one another. The ending sentence was lovely, also - great job on this.

This is quite beautiful. I think that that Lily and James were very in character. I am a bit sad that Severus got put on a back burner once you started to write about Lily in Hogwarts; as that took a little longer. But the romance and the way it grows in Lily is wonderfully well written and made my toes curl a little in happiness. There were a few typing errors, but not so much that it detracted from the whole of the story.

I really loved this - it was a really interesting idea and I love your writing style. I really liked all of the thoughts in brackets, and I thought that you kept everyone really in character. I also really liked the description of the paintings 'gossip[ing] like old ladies'.

There were only a few mistakes that I spotted - 'last expects' should probably be 'least' and 'themselves blesses' should be blessed.

I would really love to see more on this. Like, what happens in same sex relationships and relationships between a muggle and a wizard. And I really like that the necklaces showed the damage to the person's soul.

I think the idea of the visible soul is very interesting. It's unique and creative. However, if only magical people have a heart or key, then what about the magic people who marry Muggles? Are their relationships doomed to feel? Is that why some Purebloods are against magic and non-magical folk marrying? Is it always the woman who holds the heart-shaped locket and the man who holds the key? Then what about same-sex relationships? (Okay, maybe I'm overthinking this...)
I liked the bits with young Lily and young Severus, they were both still so innocent and your description fits in with what we know about their younger years from canon.
When they started growing apart, I was like 'Come on, Sev, you have a key!' Lol. But obviously there's only one match, so it wouldn't have worked out anyway (which makes sense since it's a Jily story).
On the whole, well done!

j'adore l'idée d'âmes comme les clés qui sont portées comme un collier. It sort of reminded me of a mix between Patronuses and the film The Golden Compass. I also like how you integrated in the theme of the saying "a key to your heart". At first, I was so so happy that this was a Sev&Lily fic but then you stomped all over my heart and broke me into a million pieces just to put me back together again with the beauty of your Jily ship. And then, of course, you had to break them apart too. AHHHHHH.

[to be the best friends forever] I think you're missing an "of" between "best" and "friends". What does the plus i at the end mean for the section divider? Is that supposed to be an "xi" or symbolize an epilogue?

Sad, beautiful, and tragic which is just the way I like it.
xoxo wouldtheywriteasongforyou

I actually really like this. Lily is well characterized here and I love how you included her history with Severus and Petunia and everything without being melodramatic or cliche. I also love the idea of having keys to unlock hearts. It's a really sweet idea and I think you did a great job with it. I love that you had that scene with James unlocking her heart at the very end. It just worked that way somehow.
James' story was also really tragic. The way she puts him in his place is nicely written and again isn't all that dramatic. It seemed so natural and Lily's frustration that she can't go to anyone about her feelings is perfect.
Great job!

What a lovely, well-written piece this was. I think my favourite part was definitely in the middle. And the idea of a key and hearts and souls, and being able to unlock them is fascinating. So, is it all wizards or just some? That part did confuse me a little, actually.

I really enjoyed the fluency of this fic, and the way it all came together. The little pieces of canon inside, mixed with AU gel'd together nicely.

I did spot a few typos throughout, but not many, and nothing that distracted from the fic over all.

Very nice writing.

I adored this piece! (Maybe I'm just a *little* biased when it comes to Jilly but...) Anyway! The ending made me sad because it DID end goddammit. I like how this story is done in like little snippets of Lily's (and James') life. Your descriptions of James and Lily and their interactions are just how I imagined them to be so :D Overall, wonderful, wonderful one-shot. :D Jilly forever!