I came back to find this story it came out before the actual show took things dark in volume 3, and I was thinking about it now. thinking I guess in a way yang learned that lesson about uncontrolled anger, only her teachers didn't address it and her team wasn't there to comfort her and help her recover. she learned it when Adam cut off her right arm and with her father when she recovered a bit.

I’m going to say this once and only once. What the f***ing Hell just happened and why the f*** was it happening?! I was reading this to expect a nice and sad feels story and then all of a sudden WWIII f***ing happens! I mean the story is good, but I’m honestly not in a mood for something on this scale

:,( I’m going to cry :,(

I’m just going to say this. Winter is an absolute bitch that should die and burn in hell, and granted Neptune was always a douche when it came to girls winter is a bigger bitch then...actually no she’s the biggest in this story. But I do love the actual winter from the show.

How you handled Yang's anger and the darkness of her past was brilliant. I really loved your perspective.

Im ngl its a bit annoying reading this about Raven and Tai and Qrow despite the info we have on them. Other than that i love this story also winter could of been waited on as if i recall correctly season 3 was airing at this time or its could if been a couple of moths after. Despite all that its cool you came up with the info you dident have access to.

Alright, so after almost a month I have finally finished this story. I liked the brutal honesty of the gruesome story, but there were several things that I didn't like. For one thing the author went off on tangents WAYYY too much. I really didn't need a three paragraph explanation of literally everything in the middle of a battle. A lot of that is reflection that should either be left to the reader or saved for the end of the action. Another thing was how many elements of the story were completely made up by the author, however most of it can be dismissed because of how the story was written before volume 3 premiered. Also, it was strange how the perspective changed unexpectantly. Going from person to person and then to third person was so strange.

So freakin cute! I accidentally read the first two chapters of the second book so I kinda spoiled somethings but this was still beautiful to me!

I love how long your chapters are. This chapter in particular... wow... (slow clap)

I love your take on all the characters. I wish the show was this dark instead of just hinting at the darkness like they do. I admit I didn’t think about how yang has suffered and it definitely opens a new side of her for me.

Holy shit. I really don't have much more to say. I love this story, but by Oum that sure got depressing in the last several chapters. Looking forward to reading the next one.

THE FIRST SIGNS
also
hEY gUys REMembUURR weN pYRrha wuz ALivE?!/1/!?/!/!/!?/?!11?!/11/

So I've reread this entire story a few times, and having seen a recent review, I just wanted to say again how amazing and enjoyable the whole thing is. It's well written, engaging and complex, and fills a hole that the series itself can't quite touch. While I still feel the very last chapter is slightly rushed, it caps off an excellent series that any author should be proud of, both for writing and having had the dedication to finish. I'm aware that you've got some professional stuff going, and while I haven't read it, I'm sure if it's anything like this, it's excellent.
Thanks again.

This chapter felt very obnoxious and overly corrective in regards the author's perceived flaws in the source material. There are different approaches and styles to fighting. Emotions, especially negative ones like anger and fear can be an incredible motivator factors in fights and life threatening situations. Letting your feelings completely dictate your actions is a shitty thing to do in any situation whether it be shopping or fighting.

However it aggravates me to no end whenever people write off emotions, especially anger, as completely compromising in fights. Predictive, empty minded, fighting styles rely on the practitioner being able to react and counter what an opponent is going to do by taking in the battle with a clear mind. However that relies on their opponent following some form of understandable logic or method in their attack.

People who fight in a high state of emotions typically do neither of those things making them very unpredictable and often operating off impulse or on the spot improvisation.

Yes. In the show Yang used her Semblance and being pissed off as a crutch to a degree. Which is why what happened in the show happened. However at least that had some natural consequences for her fighting method and allowed her to grow without abandoning that anger simply because some random prick came along, beat, her, and dictated that she needed to change or she was a failure.

Erashan as a character is just really frustrating and made reading this part unpleasant. He's a two dimensional high and mighty character who is defined solely by his skill and superiority to the team. His only purpose is to show up, beat up one of the characters the author has a beef with, and tell them off thus giving the author just cause to 'fix' them as they desire.

When I learned this was an AU-thing written before a good portion of the series actually aired I was interested. Some of the stuff implied and detailed in this fic has been rather good. However a lot of the stuff that replaces what actually happened in the series comes off as unpleasant and cliched in this fanfic.

Comparison is the thief of joy, but Winter has a much better option. There was still a degree of discomfort and antagonism between her and Weiss but there was more emotional and character depth then Weiss's twin here. Who just comes off as shallow and purely antagonistic with no redeeming traits or actual character to her other then being a massive dike.

Yang's over reliance on her berserker fighting style had repercussions in the show and how it played out felt satisfying, and almost tragic. Here it's just some random, self-righteous arsehole kicking her in the throat a couple of times and dictating how she should fight. It doesn't inspire genuine character growth, it simply comes off as forced and almost arbitrary with how it's written.

As many issues as I have with the show reading this fic actually made me pretty thankful for the direction it's taken over all.

You know I like the story but it’s just emotionally draining to talk to people like that I know because a buddy of mine would barely eat and I tried to talk to him out of hurting himself and god I just wanted to punch him in the face and say it’s ok, but thankfully I didn’t have to do that and he’s now so happy with his life, anyway keep up the good work man I like the story excellent writing