Short and sad and to the point. I've read better stories about susan than this but this pne isn't to bad. (Some of the other's made we want to puke!) This one was sweet but lacking in something I just cant put my finger on. confusingly written? Maybe a little but not too badly. A little too short? No that's not it either. Somethings missing in your story. But I did enjoy the ending.

QUOTE: “They’re right, aye – Whole family died quite half a cintury ago, horrible thing that – Drove her to the brink! S’pity, really. She used to be a beauty, ya know, Tommy – every boy in town wanted a piece of that purty girl Susan…”

How utterly base. I've read some of criticism of others' work, V, and can honestly say after reading yours that, though not particularly bad (in fact, the idea of Susan being in her 60's was brilliant), your writing is a bit - um - juvenile. How old are you anyway? I'd spend more time working on a budding talent than criticizing other - and better - work. Oh, and by the way, just because someone doesn't write in your style doesn't make her a poorer writer than yourself - just different. I'm in my fifth decade of life and have been writing since I was 12, so I know what's good and what's mediocre. The difference between the two is time, hard work, and a realistic view of oneself. I'd look in the mirror if I were you - your head is just a *little* puffy!

Awesome! Excellent way to reveal the truth, with Holkes and Tommy. Great job!

Oh, what a beautiful little bit of writing! :D I always did wonder just what might have happened to Susan after _The Final Battle_...sweet, sad story...

Lovely writing! :)

i like it, especially the ending...one feesl so sorry for susan and wishes her life had not turned out that way.

Wow! This is truly and utterly brilliant, I loved the characterisations, superb.

This is so sad, but really, Susan, well... I feel sorry for her. Because she was so silly she missed out on the things that really mattered, didn't she? Poor girl.

absolutely. brilliant.

haha, i've got a sneaking suspicion that you ask for negative reviews because you know that once we're done with your pieces, we're too stunned in our seats by the soul-shaking beauty of it all to write anything even remotely nasty.

please keep writing!

oh, that was killer. wow.

This was beautiful. I'm actually crying now. Poor Susan... Lovely imagery, beautiful characterization, and a great twist at the end.

I loved this. Simply amazing imagery, and the length was just right. I confess I've never been a Susan fan, but this made me look at her in a whole different light.

Nice. A couple of clarifications, though-you say she's always loved the "idea" of America, but don't forget she's been there at least once (during VDT). Also, in Holkes's and Tommy's dialogue, I'm confused as to the meaning of Susan leaving her house. Is Tommy saying she hasn't ever gone outdoors since her family died, or just that she hasn't ever moved away?

Very sad, but very good twist at the end works really well . I really like the relationship between brother and sister,you've wrote it really well. I'll have to go read your other fics, right after I find a thesaurus so I can come up with something other than 'really'.

I liked this one even more than the Peter one. It's so sad, and SUsan was a sad case. I enjoyed how at first it seemed as if she was old then young then you realized she was old. Can't wait for more.

Oh, this is just heartbreaking. The characterisation of Susan is perfect, and the ending is terrific. It took me completely by surprise. My favourite line would have to be:

'and I feel that slight kiss of his on my forehead that I have always found almost regal-'. For some reason that really touched me.

I'm sorry I don't have anything more constructive to say, except that this piece made me want to cry. Thankyou very, very much.