That was so cool! I like how she recognized Bella!.

Very good, if rather dar. Well, what did I expect, anyways?

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I found this one-shot intriguing. For one thing, it's written in third person, but from the point of view of a woman on vacation with her husband in Volterra.

What I like about this is that her image of Heidi is similar to how I view her, to an extent. In this story, she uses her looks and charisma to entice the husband to her tour. The husband, of course, brings his wife. After a few stops at various locations nearby, it seems, they are lead into the lair of the Volturi where they are in for a big surprise.

The one thing I did not like about this story is that it implies that Jane is a 7 year old child. I know Jane and Alec are meant to be young, but they are never mentioned to be immortal children, as would be a 7 year old vampire. Personally, I imagine them to be about 16, give or take a year.

What I do like is that the author adds in little things like seeing Bella as she runs through the fountain, then again as they enter the feeding room. It adds a nice touch. Also, as I mentioned before, I liked her brief image of Heidi, and the tragic end to the vacationing couple, regardless of the age the author makes Jane.

One thing that I think would have made the story better would be to give a little more detail on the chaos that ensues once the doors to the feeding room close. However, I still believe the story to be good without the added imagery at the end (some people don't prefer too much of that kind of thing.)

I quite enjoyed that. The horror genre in general is starting to grow on me, and this story in particular was a nice little package of gruesome.

Haha! Loved it!

Although, Jane was 13 when she was turned...

that was scary ,in a good way (shivers)

Brilliant story, very well written and particularly unique aswell.

The only thing I could mention is that the Volturi's 'lunch' and all meals are hunted from outside the walls of Volterra and brought in, remember hunting in Volterra is banned.

But anyway, brilliant story.

Lisax