Nice story hope this is continuing

I am eager to see how this story wraps up. Hop you post another chapter

routine: same exept for porn and i play TF2 (payed, WOOOOO!)

you deserve almost 165 reviews by this :)

you deserve almost 165 reviews by this :)

It feels like he's arguing with someone his own age in this scene which, while entirely possible, isn't very plausible. Either you were trying to have his guardians be very childish, which does happen but not with such similar generational characteristics between the child and parent classes, or you were simply trying to recreate the stereotypical 'I hate my parents' situation. In either case you weren't doing it very well.

As always, spelling/grammar mistakes spread out. You may want to get an editor, although you may have already, given how long ago this update was.

Interesting twist at the end. It's certainly been done before, but perhaps not in a romantic environment.

Referencing the previous chapter, it seems like the FBI agents were based on a point of view of someone very young, not very knowing of the realities; realism may not be your goal in this story, but I'm stating it for the record since you seem to favor it.

These reviews may tend to be more negative than not, but you're doing fairly better than in previous attempts.

Thanks for the update, I was beginning to think that you had given up on this story! They only thing I think would be an improvement would be chapters that are a bit more hefty in the word count department.

"So you're finally accept my friendship?"

"No, I'm just handing you mine instead."

Best lines I've heard for a long time.

Nicely written. It's good to see their relationship evolving slowly, buildng up everything that is necessary towards forging a bond.

Interesting concept for a story, I will definitely be following this. I really like the way you explained how Krystal was responsible for the end of WWII among other things.

P.S: Hooray for Papa Roach, Breaking Benjamin, and Disturbed.

Format/Grammar

First off the all caps...bad idea. They don't emphasize emotion it just makes your writing look weird. It would be acceptable if you did it if a character was reading something in all caps, but actual dialogue. Very bad idea.

Dialogue"

Your dialogue is simply amazing, which is why I was pissed when you used caps. You capture the emotions of your characters so vividly, there's no need to reinforce that with visual capitalization.

Plot: It's still a bit confusing, I'm still wondering how exactly Nazism and Hitler's last days in the Wolf's Laid fits into the concept of star fox.

Overall the chapter is great, but I'd like to see more of that Nazism incorporated, considering it was the main basis of the prequel.

Wow...Krystal finally showed herself in public in a way. I hope Chris isn't having anything to do with the italic text at the end.

yay he finally got through to krystal! :D

It's good to see that Henry is starting to get through to Krystal. And you've made Krystal a more compelling/complicated character than she was in canon. Human history is pretty messed up, and her stating that fact makes it even more embittering.

Nicely written once again. _

I get the impression Henry and Krystal can't stand each other in more ways than one, which is understandable. I'm sure that's bound to change soon enough.

Nicely written. _ Update soon.

It's been a while since you posted something, but not too long fortunately. So, what's to say... This is pretty good, but I think you already know that. The 6th paragraph seems to be kind of bunched together, but I can't see any way of breaking it up without changing what's written, so leave it as is.

Now, only thing that quirks me in this chapter is the sudden introduction to Taoism. I mean, I do understand it has its role in the story, but I feel like you've explained it too explicitly. "Henry becoame more and more interested in this belief as he read on, but not to a life changing degree." Uh... This sounded kind of awkward, especially the last part of the sentence. I don't want to criticize you or anything, but don't tell the reader that, although I understand you wanted be sure we didn't think he'd become converted in seconds

Krystal's situation is getting complicated, but in a good way. The analogy explained things nicely, and there was a lot of important info in the dialogue.

That's about all I could think about now, so all that's left to say is... Waiting for the next chapter!