Wow thoroughly enjoyed this tale.

This is one of the few anti-McGee stories I’ve read that isn’t also anti-Ziva. I loved it! It was so well written and McGee being irredeemable in the end was wonderful. I was wondering though, a few of your phrases made me think that you’re from somewhere in the UK maybe? In the US I’m used to reading about someone checking on their child when they’re SICK not when they’re “poorly” and I found myself confused by the use of the term “feet of cla although I’m guessing it means cowardly or something similar. ANYWAY I loved it. 10/10 would read again.

I liked this one, so good job. Now about it being too long...I'd say you don't need to worry about that. I've seen a few and read a few that had 40 or so chapters or are numbered in the 20's chapter wise and still adding more chapters. And if I remember correctly I've read or seen at least one that had at least a hundred chapters. I'd say your good.
-Never stop writing no matter where your thoughts take you- BSN

Great story, good ending. I wish Tony or someone had mention that Tony had save his 'worthless' life at his own peril. And that Tony tried to stop the wreck less act in the car but was dismissed by an arrogance ass. Thanks for sharing.

Honesyly liked this but dislike that ziva wasnt a part of the betrayal ziva is a bitch and is FAR worse then Mcgee when it comes to thinking shes better then everyone mcgee thinks that too but less then her thats why a big part of me disliked it.

A brilliant story.
Although I don’t think Tim is basically bad, he does tend to get an idea and ignore any evidence which contradicts his standpoint. Not helped by Vance’s attitude to both him and Tony, which only reinforces his sense of superiority, despite the fact that he has much to learn and Tony has the experience and is his superior.

You got off lucky coward!

Loved it, so great to see McGee get what he deserves, so smarmy, & glad to see Vance come to his senses.

Pleased Vance redeemed himself a bit, now go get McGee give him what he deserves.

Please take Tim & Vance down about a hundred pegs. & really starting to like ziva.

Hope Tim & Vance get their comeuppance, them & ziva & Kate not our favourites

Could be worse.

Lol, I can see there's one guest who keeps coming back to comment (3x) on a story they clearly don't like... How unfulfilling must their life be...

The flow wasn't the best and the story had few repeated mistakes (missing commas for example). Loved the ending. Often these stories end with "happy and fixed", even when there's nothing to "fix". I liked that.

I enjoyed this, well done!

Third-rate soap opera but at least the grammar is... adequate