TEMPORARY HIATUS? It’s been six years! Dude UPDATE

this story is off to a grate start! I get the hole busy thing but I still really hope you can come back soon!

please come back soooooon! this story just prologue with not fully prologue yet! and kalulu nt met yet! imiss this!

interesting? too early to tell if it's good or not.

wow still a good writen story making them seem the same as they were at the end of the anime

pleas make this into a lelouch/cc/kallen paring pleas those 3 deserve each other update soon

please make this into a lulu/cc/kallen paring pleas

I see you're starting to get a hang of this whole writing business huh? Haha

It did improve a great deal and I hope you can keep that up! The chapter length and content could use some fixing up still, but you're on your way, and that's pretty much all that matters at this early stage. I like how you showed Ohgi's emotion, but it was somewhat short-lived, considering the damage Lelouch had done. I'd also like to advise you to be careful of your word choice: pertaining more to keeping the characters in line and such. Too much emotion or too little emotion, depending on whose personality, can skew readers' perspective of characters.

Oh one last thing. If you want more reviews, I suggest you change your story summary to something that actually has to do with the story. You can move whatever you had there originally to the A/N :)

A good start. I will suggest that you add more details though as chapters are a bit short for me. I look forward to the plot of the story as you continue.

I find Ohgi to be a little too understanding in this situation but that is merely my interpretation differing from yours.
another good chapter though I can't wait until Kallen sees Lelouch again and how she would react to Ohgi (the man who had wanted Lelouch dead the most) being the one to bring her lost love back.

I think you're doing pretty well for your first fic. You've got a somewhat stable foundation for a start and have so far kept the characters intact. I do recommend making the chapters a bit longer if you'd like to garner more attention (Perhaps 2000 words each?). As a fellow author, I'd like to suggest adding more meat to your chapters, which kinda plays into the whole "make it longer" deal. What I really mean is to try to add more detail and description instead of kinda telling us. Show, not tell, I should say, even though yes, a good portion of the chapter involves dialogue. A suggestion for the next chapter could be to pick something, say someone's action, and writing it more in depth. Other than what I've already mentioned, like I said, you're doing a fairy decent job, so congrats! I hope to see more of this story and how it unfolds! :)

hah pizza! well nice start hope to read more soon..

A decent beginning escpecially for a first fanfic... a little short but then again my average chapter length is not that much longer... overall it is good and bears some promise.