Yes, Teufel1987 is a "he" ... he is *insert number here* years old as indicated by the four numbers followed by his username ...

Teufel1987 also wonders why people keep thinking he is a she at times and not a he ... he hopes it isn't his writing ...

In case you are curious, Teufel is German for the Devil (yeah I was 15 and in a German phase when I came up with that) ... there is also a vague association between Teufel and my real name ... an inside private joke and a by-product of my twisted humour ... which is why the word is used now ...

FYI it is pronounced Toy-fell

:D

Added on the 9th of March 2014:

Normally, I don't bother with guest reviews. Aside from the good ones or the ones with proper constructive criticism, which I keep, I delete those that I consider ... frivolous.

But this review (for chapter five of Rise of the Wizards) really had me laughing my arse off. So much so, that I decided to make an exception!

Here it is:

I was rather enjoying this fic. It is different, imaginative and written in educated English. Harry, although behaving differently, was someone you could still like.
Then, Harry and Ginny enjoying being cruel to the animals belonging to their enemy instead of being directly cruel to their enemy herself, turned me off completely. Okay, they were not real animals, but apparently according to what you have written, they could feel terror, so they might as well have been real.

It took me a moment to figure out that this fellow was talking about the kittens in Umbridge's plates ...

In essence, those animals are basically not real in a world that is not real.

I guess that makes them not real squared in real world terms.

...*snort*

Added on the 21st of July 2014

I am now a member of Critics United.

/forum/Critics-United/78623/

I don't understand "MPreg" stories.

Why would anyone write about Male Pregnancy?

Someone really needs to walk me through this logic.

Because as a person who has done a masters in biosciences, I can genuinely say that in my professional opinion, it is impossible to have a pregnant male human being that can give birth to a living healthy baby.

It is also my professional opinion that people who write MPreg stories are not well-versed in biology. Which I personally feel is sad...

Now, I am not saying that they don't know the basics (i.e. the whole "birds and the bees" affair) but that doesn't make them "well-versed".

Because a person well-versed in biology will never write MPreg.

Here's why.

Say, that you have a male character that gets pregnant. Fine, let's drop all logic and suspend disbelief for one insane moment and go with that .

Now, to house a foetus, this male would naturally need ... let's call it a "compartment" in his body.

You know what, actually? "Compartment" sounds too crude, how about we try another word? "Uterus" sounds like a good one!

Now, naturally, to get a foetus, you need an embryo, for an embryo, you need a pair of gametes. Naturally, one of those gametes will have to come from ... let's call the person a "host". So one of these gametes comes from the "host".

Now, the "host" needs an organ to store and secrete his gametes that will give a bouncing baby. Outside the body doesn't work because then the person might be rendered infertile the minute the baby's big head comes out. Besides, where will it hang? Also, as the person carrying the baby, the host will need to supply oxygen to the zygote/embryo/foetus. Furthermore, he'll need a large gamete that can stay in his body to be fertilized. Therefore those organs will have to be somewhere inside ... nicely tucked out of the way ... concealed, if you will.

How about we call the organs "ovaries" and the gametes "ova" for fun?

The two gametes to meet somewhere, and the baby has to come out from somewhere. A passage of sorts, if you will, leading out of the "uterus" to the outside world.

For simplicity's sake, because nature and evolution don't like being impractical, one passage will serve the dual purpose of fertilisation and birth.

Let us call this passage a "vagina".

Now, a human being with a working uterus, ovaries, and a freaking vagina is known as a FEMALE!

Males happen to have mammary glands too, ours are just vestigial. But they are there nonetheless. Also, in the right conditions, you will find that they can lactate too.

Males also secrete oestrogen just like females. And female bodies happen to secrete testosterone as well.

The male testes and the female ovaries are homologous (look up that word if you don't get what it means). As are the male penis and female clitoris.

In other words, aside from their ability to have babies, there is little to no difference between a woman and a man!

We even start life as females! It is only later on in the gestation period that the hormones make a baby a boy.

Also, here's what Cambridge Online Dictionary has to say about the word "female":

Female

adjective /ˈfiːmeɪl/ belonging to the sex that can have babies

And here's what Oxford dictionary has to say about it.

Female

Pronunciation: /ˈfiːmeɪl /

adjective Of or denoting the sex that can bear offspring or produce eggs, distinguished biologically by the production of gametes (ova) which can be fertilized by male gametes: a herd of female deer

Therefore, by definition, logic, and science, a human being or any mammal on this earth that can have real live babies (i.e. become pregnant) is female!

Thus, MPreg does not work. The minute a character becomes pregnant, they are instantly female!

Changing the gender of a character to female; fine. It may not be something that I would read, but I don't mind it. This however...

Unless we are talking about members of the family Syngnathidae (i.e. Sea Horses) IT. IS. IMPOSSIBLE.

Added on the 4th of April 2015

Over the years, I have read and proofread many stories. Mainly (alright, all) in English.

I have noticed a few quirks over the years in the way people write based on which region they come from.

So, I thought, for your viewing pleasure, I would share…

Of course, it goes without saying that there is no offence meant. All of this is in jest, and most are observations. It certainly does not apply to the entire demographic. Exceptions are there to every rule, after all.

1. USA:

Now, of course, I know what you are thinking, "They all use color instead of colour". While that is mostly true, I find that many people from other parts of the globe have "gone American" or (in my words) use Americanese.

So what distinguishes an American from someone using Americanese? (To those Americans reading this, if you lot can call British English "British" then I can call what you use "Americanese"… so there!)

Some of them love to use the word "drug" as a past tense for "dragged". I have no idea why, I have asked, and I get weird responses like “I have always heard it like that”.

“Talk with” and “speak with”: Phrases that never cease to mystify me. How does one “talk with” or “speak with” someone? You talk to someone.

Another quirk associated with American users of English is their propensity to end the odd sentence with “at”. For example “this is where the fun’s at”.

I also find that most Americans confuse “have” and “of”

Americanisms: And I don’t mean slang that is native to the USA. I have noticed that some American authors love to ... bless foreign countries with the USD, for example, regardless of the existence of that country’s native currency. For some reason, I haven’t seen the same thing from someone of another country. I have yet to see a German author (for example) having his characters use Euros in Japan.

2. Europe:

These guys don’t use one system of spelling (i.e. American or British). While some may show obvious flaws in their syntax and grammar, there are others who are pretty good at the language. Regardless, there are some little things you can spot.

The tone and structure of the language: Europeans, I find, tend to use a very formal style. One gets the impression of looking at a formal letter or circular when reading something written by them, even though you can tell that they don’t mean it that way. At times it can feel stilted. Russians and Germans are particularly guilty of this!

Longer sentences: They also like to use more words in their sentences than necessary. That in turn adds to the seeming formality of the language.

Repeated usage of one word: While this is something you see all over the world, in my experience, Europeans generally don’t go with synonyms.

Finally, those who know German or French will be able to spot some influence of those languages in the author’s writing that gives them away as German or French. That is generally due to the massive influence these two languages have had on English. Oftentimes, you will see some words native to German or French being used in English. That is mainly because of the similarity.

3. Britain:

Aside from using what I call proper spellings (colour, honour etc.) there is one quirk that really screams “I am a Brit”:

Sat, and stood: If you see these words being used instead of “was sitting” or “was standing” you can be assured that the fellow writing is British and not Australian or from New Zealand. Examples: “He was sat at the table.”, “they were stood near the lake”.

4. India:

Indians, like Europeans, have a varied and non-standard type of spelling. Some use the British system, and some use the American. But there are some characteristics that unify those of Indian origin, regardless of their country of residence.

Usage of articles: They have a tendency to leave out articles (i.e. a, an, and the) in their sentences while including them in places where they aren’t needed. Examples are; “Left out from the history” and ““That is all well” said Headmaster.”

Prepone: this gem of a word is exclusive to India. It is their answer to the oft unasked question “what is the opposite of 'postponed'?”

Plurals and singulars: Words like “pants” tend to be written as “pant”.

16th August 2017

Trump as president: I know this is quite awhile since it happened, but I was trying to process the fact that I somehow managed to predict Trump as President in Rise of Wizards. I had no idea that it would actually happen when I first wrote in, as President of the United States of America, an orange coloured blond man with a massive ego and a propensity to give his last name to things!

The reason I decided to go with Trump in my story long ago was because I remember seeing something about rumours floating around that he was running for president when Obama's first term was over. Trump had vehemently denied those rumours, but it felt a bit too vehement. So I thought, "What if he was president, LoL!"

Never did I think that he would actually be elected!

And to think, he is actually worse in real life than he is in my fiction.