Welcome to my profile! This is the place where you can learn everything you ever wanted to know about me and maybe even more than you wanted to know.

I'd like to emphasize that Kaiba's Prostitute is my only ongoing story at the moment. The rest are much older and do not reflect my current level of writing, but I'm leaving them up anyway because some people really liked them.

Age: Over 30

Education: Bachelor of Science

Sex: Female

Gender: Woman (Yes, biological sex and gender can be different, and I am respectful of that)

Orientation: Heteroflexible

Relationship Status: First and Foremost Polyamorous. Married from 2018 onward. Dead Boyfriend from 2015 onward. Perpetually in love with others.

Religion: American Catholic

Favorite Movies:

“Savages” (2012)

“Modern Vampires” or “Revanant” (1998)

“Summer Lovers” (1982)

“Lord of War” (2005)

“The Dreamers” (2003)

“You Don’t Mess With The Zohan” (2008)

“The Brothers Grimm” (2005)

“Defending Your Life” (1991)

“Design For Living” (1933)

Movies that were great at first but had a stupid ending:

“Paint Your Wagon” (1969)

“Threesome” (1994)

Favorite Pairings: Wait, why do we call them “pairings” when there are so many different possibilities? I mean, why can’t we call them “matches” so we don’t exclude the triads and the quads and whatever else people find themselves doing? Think if it this way: if three people are all wearing the same outfit, does it makes sense to say that they are wearing pairing outfits? Nope! They wear matching outfits. The same is true if we are talking about only two people. So, why not change the convention and call them matches instead? After all, most of us writers are matchmakers.

Favorite Matches: My particular version of the Kaiba family is modeled on the fraternal polyandry of Tibet with several modern twists. My older work revolved around Serenity Wheeler being the hinge in this match, but now I've given up pretending that I don't ship myself with the Kaiba brothers. My latest story springs from a moment in my life when I could have met them if they were real people.

More…

My own experience with non-monogamy has been very gratifying. In my early twenties, I was in what appeared to be a monogamous relationship to any outside observer. I lived with one boyfriend and cooked dinner for just the two of us almost every night. However, we both had (and I eventually married one) some long-distance lovers and occasionally hooked up with another couple for a night of erotic fun that left us both feeling wonderful the next day. Non-monogamy is not what destroyed our relationship in the end. He had a meth habit that he hid very well from me for five years, and the proverbial feces hit the fan when his habit came to light. I met him in 2009 and left him in 2014.

My ex told me that I would never find another man who would let me “sleep around” but the thing is that I already had one, my current husband. At the time I simply called him my Navy sweetheart because it was a long-distance arrangement. So in my late twenties, I dated some married men and government agents, one of whom died on his way home from work in a traffic collision. That one is my dead boyfriend, never to be referred to as an ex because we were scheduled to have another date the day after he died.

Then my Navy sweetheart left the Navy, moved in with me in 2017, things heated up, and we got married in 2018. Here in 2020, I also have two male lovers who do not live with us, but perhaps that will change someday.

I think I know why many of you are reading my stories but not reviewing them. It's the same reason why I'm not using my real name. I know you are there from the traffic stats, and I just want to let you know that I understand. If you want to send me a private message sometime, I won't tell anyone :)

Kari Rakitan is my pen name, but I use it for other purposes as well. I have never cared much for my legal name, so if you have met me under this pseudonym in real life, please do not be offended. I generally go by a nickname anyway. Since it is not the one I use most frequently, it helps keep my professional life and my personal life separate.

“In a society in which it is a moral offense to be different from your neighbor, your only escape is to never let them find out.” --Robert Heinlein

You can also find my work on other sites such as Scribble Hub and AO3, where you can see the artwork I have commissioned for Kaiba's Prostitute.

The Best Democracy Money Can Buy

I had a conversation with David Rovics once. It went something like this…

Me: (leaning over his stacks of CDs and giving him a flirtatious glance) Which CD has “The Best Democracy Money Can Buy?”

David Rovics: That one has never been put on CD

Me: Can you sing it for me?

David Rovics: I don’t know it.

Me: What!?

David Rovics: I forgot it.

Me: (still in shock) I guess I know it better than you do.

David Rovics: I’m sure you do.

Me: (devious grin)

Yu-Gi-Oh! Stories

I am listing these in chronological order of events, not the order in which they were written. All of these stories take place in the same alternate universe, except for my latest piece Kaiba's Prostitute, which currently stands alone. I stopped writing for a few years and recently got back into it. I use the same OC name Joan Saunders, but honestly I've never found OC names and physical descriptions to mean much because - let's be honest - who reads an OC Seto Kaiba romance without imagining it as self insert?

Seto’s Sticky Situation

The Best Democracy Money Can Buy

Rakitan Industries

--Amanda

--Assumptions

--Father Daughter Bonding

--Safe House

--When You Stop Looking

Buildings Don’t Fall

The Kaiba Sisters Attend Hogwarts

I Will Follow You Into The Dark