Available for beta! Check out beta profile

SO first thing you should know about me as a writer is that I am RREEALLYY SLOWW updater. Sorry, im just always busy or I have writers block...and I'm just lazy :P so just, bear with me, ill update eventually :)

545!(dont ask)

Name&age: My name is Lindsay and pshh u wish u were cool enough to know my age :p

Fave song: Every song from Newsies, every song ever written by All Time Low, and every song from AVPM, AVPS, MAMD and Starship, and by Chameleon Circut and Hank Green (maybe i should just change this to fave singers lol)

Fave color: Rainbow =p idk i like all colors!! maybe neon green, or sky blue, or maybe hot pink :)

Fave movie: Star Trek 2009, Avengers, War Horse, 27 dresses, White Chicks, Vampires Suck,

Fave TV show: Doctor Who, Sherlock, Merlin, Criminal Minds, Supernatural, Arrow, The Big Bang Theory (Psych and Misfits)

Fave book: NIGHT WORLD!!!(obviously) and the Inheritance Cycle (Eragon), and Percy Jackson, Dark Life, Intertwined, Harry Potter and Rules of Attraction.

I also really like L.J Smith's other books(The Forbidden Game, Dark Visions)

I AM A STARKID! also a Whovian, Sherlockian and a Nerdfighter and a Merliknight and a Hunter and a bunch of other fandoms

So far i have gotten(Well...more like forced, bribed etc.) 5 friends to read the Night World series!! arent u proud?? lol but dont worry I'm still working on everyone else!! If your my friend...beware!! muhahaha!

Who i ship in Doctor Who
9XRose
10Rose
Metocrisis10XRose
11XRiver
AmyXRory
MickeyXMartha
JackXEveryone lol
(OMG im so canon its redonkulous)

Who I ship in criminal minds
ReidXLila
GarciaXKevin
HotchXHaley
JJXWill (cause i love his accent)
(uhh...thats kinda it...Criminal Minds is more action than romance. God im so canon it hurts)

Who I ship in Harry Potter:
HarryXGinny
RonXHermione
LilyXJames
DumbledoreXGrindewald
RemusXNymphadora
LunaXNeville
LunaXDraco
DracoXHermione
DracoXApple
RoseXScorpious
James(jr)XScorpious
TeddyXVictoria
(HA! I'm being slightly less canon!)

Who I ship in Merlin:
ArthurXGwen
ArthurXMerlin
MerlinXMorgana
MerlinXFreya
GwaineXHappiness :D

I used to like the Twilight books, but the movie ruined them sorry Twilight fans

HUGE Starkid fan! Watch A very potter musical, a very potter sequel, me and my dick (LMAOHILARIOUS) & Starship

O.M.G. T.H.R.E.E.Q.U.E.L

My friend Sydg813 is great check her out if you like Percy Jackson or Maximum ride!(scroll down she's on my fave list if ur too lazy to search...I know I am) (:

My other friend finaly convinced her parents to let her get a fanfiction! yay! lol so if you like Harry Potter she's writing a fic check her out K8gallagirl (also on my fave list :) )

My other friend(i no im so popular) Hellwise(she's not very original(or good at spelling)) posted a very interesting fanfic for Percy Jackson. I acually never thought of the possibility of it, check it out!(fave list too!)

My other friend(ur so jealous) C.C Skylan wrote a great story about Alice in Wonderland! Check her out!(on my fave list also)

(ive gotta stop using parenthases so much...)

STRANGE FATEBETTER COME OUT SOOONNN!

INHERITANCE (LAST ERAGON BOOK!) IS COMING OUT NOVEMBER 8TH!!

BEST NIGHT WORLD COUPLES!! ( I Ship all the soulmates, btw)

1)Ash&Mary-Lynette by far!! I just love their story and I just..idk...love them!!! :) and their just amazinglyawesometastic

2)Rashel&Quinn I just love how ironic their relationship is!

3)Maggie&Delos love their story and Maggie's awesome :)

4)Jez&Morgead well there just like soo badass and awesome :p

5) Keller&Galen cause they're just perfect fo each other

6) Miles&Kestrel I know there not soulmates but how awesome would they be?!? (I see a possible fanfiction in their future! lol)

if u havent noticed, i like the word awesome :D awesome, right??

I saw on someones profile(Lol sorry not good with remembering names) That a perfect song for Ash and Mare is "The Reason" by Hoobastank and I couldn't agree more!!!

"just havent met you yet" By Michael Buble Is the perfect song for Thierry and Hannah!!

"You belong with me" by Taylor Swift is perfect for Poppy and James! and Gillian and David!

"Ash? Get bent and die." -Mary-Lynnette to Ash (Night World: Daughters of Darkness.)

"Even when were apart, we'll be looking at the same sky!" Ash(Daughters of Darkness)

"It did cross our minds at one point. Actually, it seemed to keep crossing them. Back and forth. Maybe we should put in a crosswalk." Ash (Daughters of Darkness)

"You don't love a girl because of beauty. You love her because she sings a song only you can understand."- James (Secret Vampire.)

"The seaweed is always greener in somebody else's lake" Sebastien (the Little Mermaid ) :) cause i felt like it :D

Writers are always readers, and readers are always writers...has anyone else noticed this but me??

Some of my current goals in life are to attend Hogwarts, go to Narnia, be claimed be a Greek god, be chosen by a dragon, learn how to read characters in and out of books, and become an author. That last one might be impossible

Who needs crack when you've got best friends? :)

No, really thats very interesting. Please, go onteehee funny face or it could even be ..sorta :)

Friends are like potatoes. If you eat them, they die. lol my friend told me this and i was laughing hystericaly

Your voice sounds like mosquitoes raping eachother in my ear. AHAAA my friend just randomly said that!!!

Opinions are like butts. Everyone has one, and sometimes they stink. my friend told me this too!

Friendship is like peeing your pants. Everyone can see it, but only you can feel the true warmth :D LMFAO SOO TRUEE

Dear math: I'm not a therapist, solve your own problems lol this was on a shirt

WARNING: if we are chased by zombies, I'm tripping you shirt also :)

DOCTORS NOTE:
Dear teacher, this patient has been diagnosed with AMAZING AWESOMENESS.
Please keep her away from homework, as it would irritate her awesomness.
Singned: Dr.watshisface
p.s There is no cure, so she will have to be awesome forever. lol this was also a shirt :p

What is this thing you call "Normal"? is it contagious? OMG! Dont touch me! I might catch your "normal"! lol I have this as a pic thts the backround of my ipod

For all the people who talk about me and think it's affecting me, it's alright. i just sit back and think to myself...dammmmmmn i've got a fan club! my friend has this on her pro on some random website...idk i just thought it was funny :)

The more you learn, the more you know. the more you know, the more you forget. the more you forget, the less you know, so...why learn? teehee another ipod pic

I am a bomb technician. If you see me running, you'd better catch up! hmmm...I forget where I saw this...

If being weird is normal, and being normal is weird...arent we all normal? my friend came up with this. think about it...do u acually know anyone who is normal?

With friends like these, who needs anenimies? Teehee finding nemo... lol i defenetley spelled tht wrong

Some one threw a frisbee at me, and it kept getting bigger and bigger. I wondered why. Then it hit me forget where I saw this too... :)

I asked God for a bicycle, but I know he(she) dosent work that way, so I stole a bike and asked for forgivness think I saw this in a fanfic

I have a TERRIBLE memory :p

NO I AM NOT RANDOM!! teehee ok maybe just a little... dont judge me!!

teehee is a fun word!!

RANDOM QUESTION TIME!! Why is the sky blue? Because thats the color the goats wanted it to be! DUH! :D

Sarcasm: It's not just a hobby, its a way of life(and a second language!)

Do you know the song "According to you"? dont you think it is perfect for the relationship between Jenny/Tom/Julian??(As in jenny singing it to tom about julian...) OMG I WANTED TO SCREAM AT L.J WHEN SHE KILLED JULIAN!! HOW COULD SHEE!!!!! b ut i have to forgive her, cause shes amazing

The song "Keep Holding On" by Avril Lavigne is PERFECT for Eragon. NO, ididd not come up with this, its acually in the soundtrack for the movie. I just wanted to point out how riight whoever it was that made the soundtrack was that its a perfect song. yup. =)

teehee

If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this onto your profile, and add your name to this list: Danyan, Avatarwolf, Shifter-youkai, Vert9411, pinkcherryblossom225CherryBlossoms016, SakuraUchiha14,Sakura-Cherry-Blossom-Chan, Moonlight Music Mistress, Kannika, Midnight's Maiden62 CircleDaybreaker

If you are weird, insane, crazy, odd, not-normal, a freak of nature, psychotic, random or anything similiar, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever stared at a computer screen for hours and hours reading stories that people who have no lives whatsoever and have enough obsession with something to write a story about it and you are one of those people, copy and paste this into your profile and add your name to the list: sakura fall, Two Tailz, EdElricFan1001, BakaKonekoRKL,CharmedFullMetalAvatar, E.Mahiru, Ailia Sparrowhawk, iTorchic, C.C. Skylan, CircleDaybreaker,

93 percent of American teens would have a severe emotional breakdown if someone called them a freak. If you're a part of the 7 percent who would ask the person, "What was your first clue?" copy this into your profile.

Julian in the Forbidden Game should have LIVEDDDD!!! if you agree, copy and paste

If you want to be a Wild Power, Copy and Paste this to your profile that would be SOOOOOO FREAKINGG AMAZINGLY TOTALLY AWESOMEE!!!!!!!!!

NIGHT WORLD SHOULD BE A MOVIE/TV SHOW! copy and paste if you think so too omg that would be a dream come true! I would be sooo happy!!

If you hate Jeremy Lovett for almost killing Ash and turning Mary-Lynette into a werewolf, copy and paste OMG I HATEEEEE HIM!! NOONE HURTS ASH!!except Mare :)

If you think Night World Vampires are better than uh...Twilight ones, Copy and paste this to your profile

If you Love Love Love LOVE L.J Smith, Copy this to your Profile

I'm a damned Daybreaker! copy&paste if you are to!

If you think Merlin should stop going to the Great Dragon and just solve his own problems for once, copy&paste!

If there are times when you wanna annoy people just for the heck of it, copy this into your profile.

If you're one of those people who get excited when you see just two reviews, paste this into your profile

98 percent of teenagers do or have tried smoking pot. If you're one of the 2 percent who hasn't, copy & paste this in your profile

If you think Ash Redfern is better than Edward Cullen, copy & paste this on your profile

If you think Mary-Lynette Carter is better than Bella Swan, copy & paste this onto your profile

If you are addicted to vampires/werewolves/witches/shapeshifters and would like to be one, copy and paste

If you constantly talk to yourself, copy and paste to your profile

There's nothing wrong with arguing with yourself. It's when you argue with yourself and LOSE when it's weird. If you agree, copy this and put it in your profile.(woops I do that sometimes...)

If you think that life without computers is useless, copy this to your profile.

If you've ever busted a move/ burst into song randomly, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you think the greatest insults in history are Clotpole, Dollop head, and Cabbage head, copy and paste!

If your friends are WEIRD (but not as as weird as you) put this on your profile

If you can be quiet one second and hyper in another, but don't have mood swings, copy this in your profile.

If your profile is long, copy this onto it to make it even longer

If you have ever copy and pasted something copy and paste this onto your profile (Or Else!)

If you hate those mosquitoes giving you mosquito bites, copy and paste this on your profile

If you like being utterly random copy and paste this on your profile.

92 percent of the population has moved onto rap. If your one of the two percent who still rocks, copy and paste this on your profile.

If you have ever said something that has nothing to do with the conversation copy this on your profile (You have NO idea)

Too many people are on crack. If you're not, then add this to your bio.

If you have ever been so obsessed with something that now everyone is scared of you because of its effects copy this into your profile.

If you have ever talked back to the tv, copy and paste this into your profile!

If you are obsessed with fanfiction copy this into your profile

If you have ever had a mad laughing fit for absolutely no reason, copy and paste this into your profile

If you have ever choked on air (or any other substance you thought imposible to choke on), copy this in your profile

If you've ever talked to yourself, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you haven't died yet, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you get good grades and still know nothing at all, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you are against fur coats, clothing, boots, etc, and the people who kill the animals don't use the meat, copy and paste this into your profile. END ANIMAL CRUELTY! BECOME A VEGETARIAN(lol sorry if i spelled that wrong i was never good at spelling) Ima Veggie and Im proudd!! ooooo thats a good copy and paste thingy...

IM A VEGETARIAN AND IM PROUD! if you are too copy and paste its cause were awesome

If you actually take the time to read other peoples profiles, copy this to yours. i meen i obviously did not just come up with all of this. but tht would be pretty awesome if I had :)

If you have your own little world, copy and paste this into your profile lol mine even has a name!

If you try to make everyone you know/meet read your favorite book, copy and paste to your profile READ THE NIGHT WORLD!!

If you’re crazy and you know it, clap your hands!! Then paste this into your profile lol did u clap your hands? I did :)

Weird is good, strange is bad, and odd is when you don't know which to call someone. Weird is the same as different, which is the same as unique, than weird is good. If you are weird and proud of it, copy this onto your profile!

If you have embarrasing memories that make you want to smack yourself/someone else, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever zoned out for more than five consecutive minutes...copy/paste this into profile. lol once i did this during a test and i didnt get to finish it!!! it was badddd

If you've ever tried putting your hair behind your ears, and ended up poking yourself in the eye...copy/paste this into your profile.

If you took the time to read all of these (and you usually do), copy and paste this onto your profile

If you've ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this one your profile.

If someone has ever said something to you that had nothing to do with your current conversation, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've ever wished you could go into a book and strangle some of the characters for being so incredibly dumb, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have a true friend, copy and paste this into your profile

If you read people's profiles looking for things to copy and paste into your profile, copy and paste this into your profile

Go soulmate principle!! Copy this on your profile if you believe in it.

If you wish you had the power to publish Strange Fate by know, copy and paste this into your profile

If you think L.J Smith deserves more credit for her AMAZING work, copy and paste

Admitting you are weird means you are normal. Saying that you are normal is odd. If you admit that you are weird and like it, copy this onto your profile.

If you are random and don't care, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you or your best friend is insane, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever pushed on a door that says pull (or vice versa) copy and paste this into your profile I HATE WEN THAT HAPPENS!! lol

Annoying things to do on an elevator: read this! XD Very funny!!

1) CRACK open your briefcase or handbag,
peer Inside and ask "Got enough air in
there?"

2) STAND silent and motionless in the
corner facing the wall without getting off.

3) WHEN arriving at your floor, grunt
and strain to yank the doors open, then
act as if you're embarrassed when they
open themselves.

4) GREET everyone with a warm handshake
and ask him or her to call you Admiral.

5) MEOW occasionally.

6) STARE At another passenger for a
while. Then announce in horror: "You're
one of THEM" - and back away slowly

7) SAY -DING at each floor.

8) SAY "I wonder what all these do?" And
push all the red buttons.

9) MAKE explosion noises when anyone
presses a button.

10) STARE, grinning at another passenger
for a while, then announce: "I have new
socks on."

11) WHEN the elevator is silent, look
around and ask: "Is that your beeper?"

12) TRY to make personal calls on the
emergency phone.

13) DRAW a little square on the floor
with chalk and announce to the other
passengers: "This is my personal space."

14) WHEN there's only one other person
in the elevator, tap them on the
shoulder, then pretend it wasn't you.

15) PUSH the buttons and pretend they
give you a shock. Smile, and go back for
more.

16) ASK if you can push the button for
other people but push the wrong ones.

17) HOLD the doors open and say you're
waiting for your friend. After a while,
let the doors close and say "Hi Greg,
How's your day been?"

18) DROP a pen and wail until someone
reaches to help pick it up, then scream:
"That's mine!"

19) BRING a camera and take pictures of
everyone in the lift.

20) PRETEND you're a flight attendant
and review emergency procedures and
exits with the Passengers.

21) SWAT at flies that don't exist.

22) CALL out "Group hug" then enforce it.

Actual things on products. Omg, people.

On a Sears hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping. ( that's the only time I have to work on my hair).

On a bag of Fritos! ..You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside. (the shoplifter special)?

On a bar of Dial soap: "Directions: Use like regular soap." (and that would be how?...)

On some Swanson frozen dinners: "Serving suggestion: Defrost." (but, it's "just" a suggestion).

On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom): "Do not turn upside down." (well...duh, a bit late, huh)!

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: "Product will be hot after heating." (...and you thought?...)

On packaging for a Rowenta iron: "Do not iron clothes on body." (but wouldn't this save me more time?)

On Boot's Children Cough Medicine: "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication." (We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.)

On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness." (and.. .I'm taking this because?...)

On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only." (as opposed to...what?)

On a Japanese food processor: "Not to be used for the other use." (now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious.)

On Sunsbury's peanuts: "Warning: contains nuts." (talk about a news flash)

On an American Airlines packet of nuts: "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts." (Step 3: maybe, uh...fly Delta?)

On a child's superman costume: "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly." (I don't blame the company. I blame the parents for this one.)

On a Swedish chainsaw: "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands." (...was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)

When it rains on my parade, I bust out my slip n’ slide.

Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes. Then you’re a mile away from them and you have their shoes.

In a world full of cheerios, be a fruit loop.

If you spend multiple hours each day reading or writing or a combination of both...copy and paste this on your profile.

If you hear voices of the characters in your head...copy and paste this on your profile.

I’m not saying you’re stupid I’m just implying it.

I’m bored…run for your sanity.

Never do anything you don’t want to explain to the cops or paramedics.

I dream of a better tomorrow, where chickens can cross the road without their motives being questioned.

When life hands you lemons, throw something harder back.

That which does not kill me…should run. FAST.

Never knock on Death’s door. Ring the doorbell and run. He HATES that.

I hear voices in my head. But that’s alright. Most of them are pretty nice.

The world is full of crazy people. They made me their leader.

It’s you and me against the world. We attack at dawn.

Give a person a fish and feed them for a day, teach ‘em how to use the internet and they won’t bother you for weeks!

Some people are only alive because it’s illegal to kill them.

You’re just jealous because the voices only talk to me.

Never argue with an idiot. They’ll just drag you down and beat you with experience.

10% sugar, 10% spice, 80% bitch so you better be nice.

Those stupid kids should just give that loopy rabbit some Trix already!

Your weirdness is creeping out my imaginary friend.

I didn’t say it was your fault. I said I was going to blame you.

I like you. When I rule the world, your death shall be quick and painless.

Some see the glass half empty, some see it half full. Me? I just want to know who’s been drinking my soda!

Do not meddle in the affairs of dragons for you are crunchy and good with ketchup!

You think I’m a loser. But I’m the most awesome loser you’ve ever met!

If you have an open mind why don’t your brains fall out?

Of course I’m out of mind! It’s dark and scary in there!

If I’m out of my right mind, my left one is gonna be pretty crowded.

If aliens are looking for INTELLIGENT life why are you worried?

I’m an angel, honest! The horns are just there to keep the halo straight.

If at first you don’t succeed- skydiving isn’t for you.

Whoever said nothing is impossible has never tried slamming a revolving door.

The person who smiles when something goes wrong has found someone to blame it on.

Normal people scare me….but not as much as I scare them.

Sanity? I never had such a useless thing to begin with!

If two wrongs do not make a right, try three.

There is always a light at the end of the tunnel. Of course, it is usually an oncoming train.

Just when I think you’ve said the stupidest thing ever you keep talking.

Why be difficult when with a little effort you can be impossible?

Silence is golden but duct tape is silver.

Everyone has a wild side; I just prefer to make mine public.

Pssh. Normal is just a setting on the washing machine.

I used to have super powers but my therapist took them away.

Keep smiling; it makes people wonder what you’re up to.

Always take the time to smell the roses but remember sooner or later you’re gonna inhale a bee.

I believe no problem is so large or difficult that it can’t be blamed on someone else.

I never repeat myself, so pay close attention the first time, because I never repeat myself.

I’d explain it to you but your brain would explode.

When all else fails bring out the duct tape.

Don’t tell me the sky’s the limit when there are footprints on the moon!

I’m not so good with advice. May I interest you in a sarcastic comment?

I don’t lie. I create fiction with my mouth.

We’re best friends. You laugh, I laugh. You cry, I cry. You hurt, I hurt. You jump off a bridge….I’ll pick out the funereal arrangements.

The world is out to get me. Hide me in your closet and don’t let it find me.

There’s nothing better than a good friend except a good friend with chocolate!

Growing old is mandatory. Growing up is optional.

I never make stupid mistakes. Only very, very clever ones.

If annoyed further, I shall spork your eyes out.

I am who I am. I do not seek your approval.

Between two evils, I always try to pick the one I’ve never tried.

The more I think about it, the more I’m sure I’ve lost my mind. But crazy people don’t know they’re crazy so I guess I’m okay. But thinking I’m okay because I think I’m crazy is saying I don’t think I’m crazy so I may be crazy.

Who cares about hugs? I’m going to tackle you when I see you!

Life is life a (VEGGIE)corndog. I just haven’t figured out why yet.

When life hands you lemons, make apple juice and let the world wonder how.

When life gives you lemons, squirt it in life’s eye and see how much life likes lemons then.

Don’t walk in my footsteps. I tend to walk into walls or off the occasional cliff.

Some people are like lava lamps. Fun to look at but not very bright.

One day, we will look back on this, laugh nervously and change the subject.

"When life hands you Edward Cullen throw him back and yell...

"I WANT ASH REDFERN!!"

REMEMBER WHEN ..
getting HiGH meant swinging at a playground?
the worst thing you could get from a boy was c0otiEs?when your W0RST ENEMiES were your siblings?
and rAcE iSsuEs were about who ran fastest?
when - WAR- was a card game
and life was simple and care free?
remember when all you wanted to do
WAS GROW UP?

I am the girl that doesn't go to school dances, or games, and when I do go, I sit in a corner and read a book. I am the girl that people look through when I say something. I am the girl that spends most of her free time reading, writing, or doing other activities that most teenagers wouldn't call normal. I am the girl that people call weird and a freak either behind my back or to my face. I am the girl that doesn't spend all her time on MySpace, or talking to a girlfriend on a cell phone or regular phone. I am the girl that hasn't been asked out in a year. I am the girl that has stopped to smell the flowers and jump and splash in the rain. BUT I am also the girl who knows and is proud to be who she is, doesn’t care if people call her weird (it's a compliment), who loves reading and writing and doing the things that no one seems to have the time to do any more, who loves and is obsessed withTwilight Night World and Maximum Ride, who can express herself better with words than actions, who doesn't need a guy to complete her, and knows the importance of the little things. Copy and paste this onto your account, and add your name to the list, if you are anything like me, so the girls who are different and unique can know in their weakest time that they are unique but not alone: Iheartjake, TeamJacob101, Boysareadrag, The Dawn Is Breaking, twilite addict, The Lonely Teenager, AliceDaSpaz, Skittle.Rocke, Silent_Broken_Heart, St. Fang of Boredom, flyaway111, MyIllicitLover, Shadowed White Rosebud, Ana3498, NightGirl25, CircleDaybreaker

Girls
are like
apples on trees.
The best ones are
at the top of the tree.The
boys don't want to reach
for the good ones because they
are afraid of falling and getting hurt.
Instead, they just get the rotten apples
from the ground that aren't as good,
but easy. So the apples at the top think
something is wrong with them, when in
reality, they're amazing. They just
have to wait for the right boy to
come along, the one who's
brave enough to
climb all
the way
to the top
of the tree.

Bad pick-up Line & Good Come-backs

Man: Where have you been all my life?
Woman: Hiding from you.

Man: Haven't I seen you someplace before?
Woman: Yes, that's why I don't go there anymore.

Man: Is this seat empty?
Woman: Yes and this one will be if you sit down.

Man: Your place or mine?
Woman: Both. You go to yours, and I'll go to mine

Man: So, what do you do for a living?
Woman: I'm a female impersonator.

Man: Hey baby, what's your sign?
Woman: Do not enter

Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning?
Woman: Unfertilized.

Man: Your body is like a temple.
Woman: Sorry, there are no services today.

Man: I would go to the end of the world for you.
Woman: But would you stay there?

Man: If I could see you naked, I'd die happy.
Woman: If I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing.

Man: If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put u and i together
Woman: Really, I'd put f and u together

LMFAO those are funnyy!!! :)

FRIENDS: comfort you when you fight with your boyfriend

BEST FRIENDS: go over to his house and kick his ass

FRIENDS: bail you outta jail

BEST FRIENDS: sit next to you singing the jail song

FRIENDS: tell you to forget it when you say you want to vandalize a guy's house

BEST FRIENDS: best friends are the ones getting fined by the police with you

FRIENDS: Think your insane for jumping off a roof onto a trampoline

BEST FRIENDS: Are jumping right after you

FRIENDS: come over every couple of months for a sleepover

BEST FRIENDS: are your weekend boarders

FRIENDS: are offended when you make fun of them

BEST FRIENDS: kick your ass and all's forgiven

FRIENDS: are shy around your boyfriend

BEST FRIENDS: will tease him till he blushes redder than a fire engine

FRIENDS: don't see you if you're sick

BEST FRIENDS: are why you're sitting in bed under a blanket with a thermometer, book, and your phone

FRIENDS: dare you to scream into the street

BEST FRIENDS: dare you to go streaking

FRIENDS: call you retarded for running threw bleachers yelling "IT'S PICKLE TIME!"

BEST FRIENDS: are screaming and running with you

FREINDS: Will ignore this

BESTFRIENDS:Will repost this crap

FRIENDS: Will be there for you when he breaks up with you.

BEST FRIENDS: Will call him up and whisper, "Seven days..."

FRIENDS: Helps you find your prince.

BEST FRIENDS: Kidnaps him and brings him to you.

FRIENDS: Will ask you if you're okay when you're crying.

BEST FRIENDS: Will laugh at you and say, "Ha Ha, Loser!"

FRIENDS: Will offer you a soda.

BEST FRIENDS: Will dump theirs on you.

FRIENDS: Will help you move.

BEST FRIENDS: Will help you move the bodies.

Friends: Bring you a tissue to dry your tears.

Best Friends: Have a shovel ready to bury the asshole who did this to you.

FRIENDS:never ask anything to eat or drink

BESTFRIENDS: Help themselves and is the reason you never have any food

FREINDS:Call your parents M. Mrs and grandma and grandpa

BESTFRIENDS: Call your parents MOM and DAD GRAMS AND GRANDPA

FRIENDS: Would bail you out of jail

BESTFRIENDS: Would be sitting next to you saying DAMN we screwed up

FRIENDS: Never seen you cry

BESTFRIENDS: Wont tell anyone else you cry... just laugh about it when your not down anymore

FRIENDS: helps you up when you fall

BESTFRIENDS: continues walking while saying, "Walk much dumbass?"

FRIENDS: gives you their umbrella in the rain

BESTFRIENDS: takes yours and says, "RUN, -BEEP- RUN!"

FRIENDS: wipes your tears when your rejected

BESTFRIENDS: goes up to him and says, "It's because your gay isn't it?"

FRIENDS: will bail you out of jail

BESTFRIENDS: would be in the room next to you saying, "THAT WAS AWESOME, LETS DO IT AGAIN!!"

FRIENDS: Ask you to write down your number

BESTFRIENDS: Has you on speed dial

FRIENDS: Borrows your stuff and gives it back a few days later

BESTFRIENDS:Loses your stuff and tells you, "my bad .. heres a tissue"

FRIENDS: Only know a few things about you

BESTFRIENDS: Could write a very embarrassing biography about your life

FREINDS:Will leave you behind if thats what everyone else is doing

BESTFRIENDS: Will kick the whole crowd asses that left you

FRIENDS: Would knock on your front door

BESTFRIENDS:Would walk right in and say,"IM HOME"

FRIENDS: You have to tell them not to tell

BESTFRIENDS: Already know not to tell

FRIENDS: Are through high school /college (drinking buddies)

BESTFRIENDS: Are for life

FRIENDS:Will be there to take your drink away when they think youve had enough

BESTFRIENDS:Will look at you stumbling all over the place and say,"Girl drink the rest of that you know we dont waste

IMPORTANT THINGS MY MOTHER TAUGHT ME!

1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE.
"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished
cleaning."

2. My mother taught me RELIGION.
"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."

3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL.
"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of
next week!"

4. My mother taught me LOGIC.
"Because I said so, that's why."

5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC.
"If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the
store with me."

6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.
"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."

7. My mother taught t me IRONY.
"Keep crying and I'll give you something to cry about."

8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.
"Shut your mouth and eat your supper."

9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM.
"Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck?"

10. My mother taught me about STAMINA.
"You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."

11. My mother taught me about WEATHER.
"This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."

12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.
"If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"

13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.
"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."

14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.
"Stop acting like your father!"

15. My mother taught me about ENVY.
"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't
have wonderful parents like you do."

16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION.
"Just wait until we get home."

17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING.
"You are going to get it when you get home!"

18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.
"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that
way."

19. My mother taught me ESP.
"Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"

20. My mother taught me HUMOR.
"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."

21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT.
"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."

22. My mother taught me GENETICS.
"You're just like your father."

23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS.
"Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"

24. My mother taught me WISDOM.
"When you get to be my age, you'll understand."

25. And my favourite: My mother taught me about JUSTICE.
"One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you!"

Night World Oath

When I see a girl with Cancer,

I will remember Poppy North.

When I see James Dean,

I will think of James Rasmussen.

When I look up at the stars,

I will see Mary-Lynnette Carter.

When I see a lazy cat,

I will Remeber Ash Redfern.

When I see sibiling rivalry,

I will see Blaise and Thea Harmen.

When I see an animal,

I will think of Eric Ross.

When I see snow,

I will remember Gillain Harmen.

When I think of Heaven,

I will remember Gary(Angel).

When I see something burn black,

I will think of David Blackburn

When I see an orphan,

I will think of Rashel Jordan.

When I see and cold hearted man,

I will remember John Quinn.

When I Get deja vu,

I will think of Hannah Snow.

When I see sadness in someones eyes,

I will remember Thierry Descouedres.

When I see fire,

I will see Jezbel Redfern.

When I see someone being cocky,

I will think of Morgead Blackthorn.

When I someone who's determined,

I will remember Maggie Neeley.

When I see royalty,

I will think of Delos Redfern.

When I see a black cat,

I will see Raksha Keller.

When I see a golden Lepard,

I will see Galen Drache.

Your a book-aholic if...

You can randomly open to a page and know exactly what's going on.

Read the book until 4 A.M., then get back up at 7 to continue reading.

You write fanfictions about the book.

You try to get all of your friends (and everyone else in the entire world) to read it.

Everything reminds you of the book.

You quote random lines all the time.

You try to do things that the characters do, even though you know you can't. (like, um, magic powers, or taking a Fangish vow of silence, or trying to break Nudge's talking record)

You've gotten incredibly bored in class, and debated on doing something your favorite character can do to escape the class

You've read a book more than five times.

You've read a book with 400 pages in less than two days.

You've planned and prepared a seige on a writer's house because he/she killed a character you like.

You hate it when someone calls your favorite character fictional (e.g. Too bad Caine is fictional)

You blatantly deny it when someone calls a character fictional.(Who wouldn't??)

You've found yourself trying to impersonate a character.

Your idol is a character from a book.

(\ _ /)
(O.o )

This is Bunny.
Copy Bunny into your profile to help him on his way to world domination!

WARNING!! This next bit is seriously random. Just like meeeee!

An apple a day keeps the doctor away, if well aimed.

Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.

I run with scissors, it makes me feel dangerous.

Join the dark side. We have cookies!

I'm not always a dork- sometimes I'm asleep

I'm not insensitive, I just don't care

Oops! I appear to have fallen on your lips

The only reason I'm here is because heaven wouldn't have me and hell was afraid I'd take over.

A good girl is just a bad girl who's never gotten caught.

It's always the quiet ones 0.o

Who doesn't love comebacks that make the other person sound stupid?

I called your boyfriend gay and he hit me with his purse.

Very few personal problems can't be solved through suitable application of high explosives.

Taste the rainbow - Eat CRAYONS!

There are three types of people: those who can count, and those who can't.

History lesson: the dinosaurs didn't go extinct, Barney came and they all committed suicide.

I ran with scissors - and lived!

Slinky Escalator = Endless fun!

Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself: where the heck is my ceiling?

Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself: I'm too old for glow in the dark stickers

Worst excuse for not turning in homework: I couldn't find anyone to copy it from.

He who laughs last thinks slowest.

The number of people watching you is directly proportional to the stupidity of your action.

To be old and wise, you must first be young and stupid

When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.

I'm not a complete idiot - some parts are missing.

Sometimes I wonder, "Why is the frisbee getting bigger?" Then I get hit in the face.

I see regular people! Run for your lives!

Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.

A secret admirier is only a stalker with stationary.

If you don't like my driving then stay off the sidewalk!

If you are reading this then step 1 of my EVIL PLAN is complete.

You say physco like it's a bad thing...

Did you know...
Kissing is healthy.
Bananas are good for period pain.
It's good to cry.
Chicken soup actually makes you feel better.
94 percent of boys would love it if you sent them flowers.
Lying is actually unhealthy.
You really only need to apply mascara to your top lashes.
It's actually true, boys DO insult you when they like you.
89 percent of guys want you to make the first move.
It's impossible to apply mascara with your mouth closed.
Chocolate will make you feel better.
Most boys think it's cute when you say the wrong thing.
A good friend never judges.
A good foundation will hide a hickeys...not that you have any.
Boys aren't worth your tears.
We all love surprises.
Now...make a wish.
Wish REALLY hard!
WISH WISH WISH!
Your wish has just been recieved.
Copy and paste into your profile in the next 15 minutes and...your wish will be granted

This is weird, but interesting! If you
can Raed this, you have a sgtrane mnid too Can you raed
this? Olny 55 plepoe out of 100 can. I cdnuolt blveiee that I cluod
aulaclty uesdnatnrd what I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the
hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it
dseno't mtaetr in what oerdr the ltteres in a word are, the olny
iproamtnt tihng is that the frsit and last ltteer be in the rghit
pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can still raed it whotuit
a pboerlm. This is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter
by istlef, but the word as a wlohe. Azanmig huh? Yaeh and I awlyas
tghuhot slpeling was ipmorantt! If you can raed this forwrad it
COPY AND PASTE ONLY IF YOU CAN READ IT --

wow whoever wroe this has waaaaaaaayyy too much free time :p

DORMITORY:
When you rearrange the letters:
DIRTY ROOM

PRESBYTERIAN:
When you rearrange the letters:
BEST IN PRAYER

ASTRONOMER:
When you rearrange the letters:
MOON STARER

DESPERATION:
When you rearrange the letters:
A ROPE ENDS IT

THE EYES:
When you rearrange the letters:
THEY SEE

GEORGE BUSH:
When you rearrange the letters:
HE BUGS GORE

THE MORSE CODE :
When you rearrange the letters:
HERE COME DOTS

SLOT MACHINES:
When you rearrange the letters:
CASH LOST IN ME

ANIMOSITY:
When you rearrange the letters:
IS NO AMITY

ELECTION - RESULTS:
When you rearrange the letters:
LIES - LET'S RECOUNT

SNOOZE ALARMS:
When you rearrange the letters:
ALAS! NO MORE Z 'S

A DECIMAL POINT:
When you rearrange the letters:
IM A DOT IN PLACE

THE EARTHQUAKES:
When you rearrange the letters:
THAT QUEER SHAKE

ELEVEN PLUS TWO:
When you rearrange the letters:
TWELVE PLUS ONE

YOU WOULDNT UNDERSTAND, IT'S A NIGHT WORLD THING!!! lol :)

So...hope u enjoyed my (ridiculously long) profile! I shall bore you no longer! (unless of 'course u skipped it all...) Read on, my fellow fanfictioners!