I'm human (presumably). I am quite annoying at times since I never shut up. I am also catastrophically lazy, which is why I didn't update this profile for a long time, however, I am quite intelligent. I am possibly the Second Coming, since I was born on Christmas Day.

My upcoming fanfic projects:

The ARC Files: Green, Unpleasant Land

In this generous helping of tales which make up 'Green Unpleasant Land', the ARC encounter monsters which include ancient dragons reborn to wreak fiery vengeance on destroyers of the land, hideous subterranean worms and a baleful basilisk accidentally bred in a laboratory. This is very much British horror, in the tradition of Benson, Blackwood, Wakefield and the aforementioned Machen. (CURRENTLY ON HIATUS)

The ARC Files: Global
Thousands of anomalies open, all over the world every day. This is is the story of the anomalies the ARC don't encounter. The ones overseas, the ones that are just out of range. This is the story of them, and the people they encounter...

Cryptonomicon
Myths. Wherever there are people, there are myths. Tales populated with brave heroes, terrifying beasts and sights so remarkable, that generations yet unborn would be scared and inspired. But what if the legends, the monsters were real? From Siberia to South America, from Incan times to the present day, we will see the monsters as they were, and the people they encountered. You will enter a realm where fact meets fiction. Science becomes legend. Where your nightmares come to life. Do you believe? (WILL LIKELY BE ON PERMANENT HOLD)

The CCU

Transformers

The plot will revolve around Sideshow Bob teaming up with the Decepticons to find the Allspark and destroy Earth. Only the Simpsons and the Autobots can stop them. (CURRENTLY ON HOLD!)

Other upcoming projects

A Simpsonised version of Red Dwarf.

Here's a link to my Prehistoric Park forum on this site; /forum/The-Prehistoric-Park-Writer-s-Guide/196897/.

I should point out here that I do not take story requests; if you have a story idea you are struggling to write, I will happily work with you to realise it. However, if you hand me a vague outline and expect me to do all the work, you will be sadly disappointed. This also applies to stories where the original author has gone AWOL; I will only take over someone else's story with the original author's explicit permission.