Hello, my preferred name is Enderkiller77 though you may call me Ender for short. I am in high school and I have a pet cat called Taya though she's not really my cat she just randomly comes over and I feed and play with her.

Achievements:

Created four Original characters called Ender, Tasha Silver, Zap and Natsumi Mikami... If you want to use them in your story please Pm me before you add them :D

Ender is in Chatting with the OC's, Ender's story, Elsword: Invasion, Velder High, Betrayed Love, Elrios Academy, TMPPIVH (Without my permission first -_-) , and Final Inception

Tasha is in Tasha's Tale, Elsword: Elrios Penitentiary and Velder High

Natsumi and Zap are not in any stories, so if anyone wants them for one give me a Pm :D

#1 archer in a Minecraft server

Warning: I have no idea how to actually speak English or understand it orally... But I am fluent in writing English :D

About me, myself, and I !!

Favorite Animal: Dragons!! Rawr :B

Colors: Hmm... Blue :D

Birthday: February, 27

Current job: Sitting in front of the computer and playing games or writing Fan-fiction

Grade: High school

Favorite Food: Sushi

Least favorite food: Spinach and tomatoes

Favorite Dessert: Anything chocolate

Favorite subject: Social Studies because I like hearing about all the past

Least favorite subject: Math. Do I really need to explain?

Favorite Book: I'm not sure, there's so many awesome books to chose from

Average update time: Every 20 days or so, maybe longer (By maybe I mean usually)

Popularity at school: 5 out of 10 Only cuz I punched a perv in the face and now I'm sort of known

Favorite story types: Fantasy, adventure, sci-fi, humor, angst

Race: Japanese

Hair color: Black

Eye color: Hazel

Friends at school: 10ish

Love life: Nothing to see here! ... Sigh.

Favorite Computer Signs: 0u0 38) 0_0 B)

What I want to be when I grow up: Game tester, plot designer, artist, sushi chef

Character info

Elsword character info

Name: Shadowpetl

Class: 1st class Code Exotic

PvP Score: E

Level: 32

Currently in... Altera

Sever: Chapter 6

I need people to go to Gates of Darkness or Henir's Time and Space with me

Original Elsword Character Info

Name: Ender

Gender: Female

Race: Telemorphers (A mix of teleporters and shape-shifters )

Age: 17

Eye color: Purple

Sexuality: Pansexual

Weapons: Knife, Magic, Scythe, shape-shifting and teleportation

For long distance: Uses teleportation to get closer or uses her knifes

For close-combat: Uses Scythe, shape-shifting and magic

Background: Ender was a part of a merciless clan of bandits called the Telemorphers. She excelled in her clan as a shape-shifter and teleporter and mastered the skill. Secretly she hated the clan but couldn't say or else she would be executed. When the El gang was captured on a mission to defeat the clan from threatening a nearby town she helped them escape and then she joined them for a while before going off on her own to find her own place in the world.

Family: None since her parents were murdered by another bandit

Personality:

When Happy: Happy, playful, relaxed way of speaking, and a bit talkative

When Sad: Glum, Can cry if it's a traumatizing memory, quiet and hides from others when sad

To Strangers: Toys with them to see what their like

To Friends: Will protect them till death if needed to. Only friends people who she know will do the same

To Enemies: Shows obvious hatred of dislike. Will try to kill or hurt them if excessively provoked. Calm her down quickly or else...

Notes: Ender can shape-shift into other people or animals. When Ender teleports she leaves a purple haze from where she last was. Ender means 'The One Who Ends'. She is completely scared of ghosts.

Art for Ender:

Telemorpher- http:///d/iGlH

Classes:

Telemorpher Scythe Warrior Scythe Welder

Telemorpher Never Seeker Teleportation master

Telemorpher Face Dancer Shape-Shifting Demon

Telemorpher

Appearance: Black hair tied up in a knot with rope. Wears a dark cloak with runic symbols on it and under it she wears a black long sleeve T-shirt. Has grey sneakers and wears a bracelet made from old Nasod parts. Wears baggy jeans.

Ability's:

Scythe teleporter: Ender's scythe teleports behind the enemy and attacks. Although this leaves her vulnerable it can be effective

Teleport: Ender teleports behind the enemy then attacks with scythe

Shape-shifting: Can shape shift into a mob for 60 seconds other mobs will not attack her during this time

Heart Splitter: Ender teleports behind the enemy and stabs him/her though the heart

Copy-Cat: Ender shape-shifts into her enemy

Weakness:

When using her Teleporting or shape-shifting powers excessively she blacks out.

Scythe Warrior

Appearance: Same as Telemorpher but now has two scythes on her.

Scythe Warrior's story: Feeling that her shape-shifting and teleporting skills were good Ender began to work on her close combat skills with her scythe. She created a new scythe and began using melee/combo attacks to destroy her enemies

Personality:

When Happy: Talkative and relaxed

When Sad: Talks about it to her friends most of the time but sometimes doesn't share anything with them

To Strangers: Observes and questions them but trys to become friends

To Friends: Becomes more attached to her friends and is often very happy around them

To Enemies: Makes faces and insults them

Abilities:

Scythe teleporter: Ender's scythe teleports behind the enemy and attacks with a 5 combo hit. Although this leaves her vulnerable it can be effective

Scythe Meager: Her two scythe's come together as one scythe and she attacks her opponents with a large scythe

Double Slash: The two scythe's attack two times and stun the opponent on the third hit

Scythe Boomerang: Ender throws one or both of her scythes at her enemy and uses them like a boomerang

Scythe Welder

Appearance: Has black hair with red highlights. Wears jeans and a large sheath to hold her scythe's on at her back.
Has steel armor on to protect herself now. No more bracelet since she gave it to Eve.

Scythe Welder's story: Ender realized that just two scythes won't cut it anymore. She asked Chung and Eve to help make her some armor and upgrades to her scythe. Her scythe's were upgraded to fire small electric shocks to stun or kill her opponents. The scythes also became sharper, more deadly and have a spear point on them. In return she gave Eve her bracelet made from Nasod parts.

Personality:

When Happy: Smiles a lot and often playfully teases her friends or becomes silly

When Sad: Shares everything with her friends and usually just trys to bear though the sadness

To Strangers: Goes up to them and questions them a lot and trys to become friends with them

To Friends: Very trusting of her friends and helps them in any way she can

To Enemies: Often toys with them or annoys them

Abilities:

Scythe teleporter: One of Ender's scythe' teleport behind the enemy and attacks with a 10 combo hit. Although this leaves her some-what vulnerable it can be effective

Deadly Striker: Ender's scythe uses the electric power and has an electric shock field around it

Electric death: Ender's two scythe's fire an electric shock that will stun or kill her opponent

Scythe Whirlpool: Ender spins around in a tornado like way and slices her opponents

Lighting Spear: Ender stabs her enemy with the spear tip of her scythe

Never Seeker

Appearance: Has a cloak with runic symbols. Wears boots with symbols on it. Has two knifes at her shoulder. Has a hood with a stripe like pattern on it.

Never Seeker's story: After a big battle where her scythe broke, Ender decided to use her teleporting skills to over whelm her opponents. She decided to use her knifes and a smaller scythe to fallow an assassin like attack.

Personality:

When Happy: Is very open and relaxed

When Sad: Takes it all by herself and doesn't share anything with her friends

To Strangers: Observers them and doesn't trust them till they 'prove their worth'

To Friends: Is very trustworthy of her friends and is very protective of them

To Enemies: Often insults or show hatred

Abilities:

Teleportation: Ender can teleport behind enemy's and above them

Harsh Death: Ender teleports above the enemy and slices them to bits with her scythe

Assassins Wish: Ender teleports behind enemy's and does a finishing blow with her knife's

Teleportation Master

Appearance: Has a new cloak that radiates El energy. Has bracelets that retracts blades. Her scythe is more deadly and sharper. She now wears boots that have blades on the heels that retracts.

Teleportation Master's story: After Ender continued teleporting she felt more stressed by her teleportation powers. She meditated with Aisha to gain balance with her powers. After a ten day meditation with Aisha she had gained true teleportation powers that wouldn't overwhelm her. She was then dubbed Teleportation Master.

Personality:

When Happy: Cheerful and has a enjoyable company

When Sad: Still keeps to herself but talks to her friends about her sadness sometimes

To Strangers: Waits till she has her friends opinion about them before trusting them

To Friends: Has complete trust in them and would do anything to help them

To Enemies: You can see the hatred on her face when she sees her enemies

Abilities:

Teleportation: Ender can teleport behind enemy's and above them

Circle of Destruction: Ender does a quick teleport around her enemy confusing them while attacking

Blades of Death: Her blades come out and she attacks with a 10 hit combo

Kick of Doom: Attacks with rapid kicks that will disarm or stun an enemy

Face Dancer

Appearance: Ender now has a cloak with small figures of different mythical animals that radiate different kinds of El energy in them. Her face has a few scales on her left cheek which she hides with her hair. The tips of her hair are turning white. She has boots that goes a bit below her knees.

Face Dancers story: Ender began practicing her shape-shifting more and began to be able to use her power better and more freely. For some reason her shape-shifting ability made her more distant from her friends.

Personality:

When Happy: She is barely happy now but when she is she acts like she used to...

When Sad: Keeps to herself and often leaves for up to a week then coming back and acting as if nothing ever happened

To Strangers: Very wary and spy's on them

To Friends: Calm and collected. She never really talks to them any more...

To Enemies: Shows complete hatred to them and doesn't hold back fighting with them

Abilities:

Mythic Transformation: Can turn into a mythical animal (Ex. Dragon)

Face Morpher: Ender shape-shifts into an other person, animal, or object for a maximum of 50 minutes before blacking out

Blood of Death: Ender shape-shifts into a kind of bloody mutant and goes berserk on the enemy (She only uses this move dire situations, and when she does she often faints when she transforms back)

Shape-Shifting Demon

Appearance: Small scattered spikes have appeared on both of Ender's arms. Her left eye is red while the right is dark purple. Ender's face now has a tattoo of a skull on her right cheek while on the left cheek she still has the scales. Her nails are now claws. Her hair still has white tips but now her hair comes to about her shoulders. She wears shoulder pads made of steel enhanced with dark El. She has a black shirt with a picture of a skull on it. Her black dark El enhanced cloak can now cover her whole body except for her face.

Shape-Shifting Demons story: A demon starts to take interest in what Ender's powers could do if they were boosted with demonic energy. This demon was called Zepar and he began tormenting Ender in her dreams with nightmares so much that Ender barely slept or didn't sleep at all. Zepar grew tired of this and kidnapped Ender and asked her to give in to the powers of dark El. When Ender refused he tormented her even when she wasn't sleeping. Ender finally gave in and accepted the powers of dark El. After that she couldn't bare to go to her friends when she saw what she had become and she ran away and started bounty hunting and assassinating people to make money.

Personality:

When Happy: She rarely does but if she does she becomes relaxed

When Sad: She doesn't show it and takes any pain by herself

To Strangers: Is on complete alert and observes them before approaching

To Friends: If she sees her old friends she tries to talk to them but if she does Zepar appears and stops her from interacting with them

To Enemies: Will try to kill them on sight

Abilities:

Dark Pulse: Ender sends a large wave of dark energy at her opponent

Dark Transformation: Ender turns into a kind of shadowy type monster that has great speed and can manipulate dark elements

Hand of the Demon: Ender's arms begin to posses a great demon like energy that lets Ender have enhanced strength and allows her to absorb mana from people

Demonic Infusion: Ender can touch a living person or animal and they will become infused with the demon Zepar for 30 minutes

Sycthe of the Demon: Ender infuses her scythe with dark energy. If a living person/animal is hit by the scythe the cut area will be infected with dark energy.

Second Elsword Original Character (In development)

Name: Tasha Silver

Gender: Female

Race: Human

Age: 15

Eye color: Brown

Sexuality: Bisexual

Weapons: Shot Gun Musket, Pistol, Laser-scope rifle, Cutlass and occasionally Grenade Launcher when raiding

For Short Range: Use Cutlass and a Pistol if far enough

For Long Range: Uses Shot Gun Musket and a Laser-scope Rifle, she only uses Grenade Launcher in tough situations

Background: Tasha was a young girl of age 10 when the ship her family was traveling in was caught in a violent storm that killed all of the other of the passengers including her parents. She became ship wrecked on an island that was inhabited by pirates. The island was actually a pirate black market area called Skull Island. Tasha lived on her developing stealing skills until she joined a wandering pirate gang and began her journey on the high seas. When the pirate gang tried to raid a ship that was hosting a celebration towards the El Gang, the El Gang defeated the pirates and then found Tasha. After a while they took Tasha into the El Gang, though it didn't last that long. She eventually left and joined another pirate crew.

Personality:

When Happy: Cheerful, relaxed way of talking, talkative

When Sad: Hides from others and takes the sadness by herself

To Strangers: Avoids at all costs and spies on them till she finds out who they are

To Friends: Acts natural, sometimes teases her friends or steals from them, tries to hide any emotions to them, but can be very blunt and hurt people's feelings without noticing

To Enemies: Avoids and becomes quiet or easily frustrated around them. If they get on her nerves she will steal from them and black mails them.

Note: Hates early morning wake ups. She's kind of greedy and can steal stuff that look nice away from you with ease. Has quick reflexes and if startled may accidentally punch or slap you away. Due to the need to constantly steal to survive in Skull island, Tasha developed Kleptomania (Addiction to stealing). Uses slang a lot.

Tasha Art:

Warf Buccaneer- http:///d/iGnC (It's not exactly how I wanted it, but this was the closest I could get)

Classes:

Warf Buccaneer ? ?

Warf Buccaneer ? ?

(If you have any ideas for classes please share them to me with a PM :3)

Warf Buccaneer

Appearance: Wears a long white sleeve t-shirt with a leather vest above it. Has a red bandana with a black skull sowed on it. Wears brown baggy pants. Her gray boots goes a little below her knees. She also has black gloves that only revel her fingers.

Ability's:

Speeding Swords: Tasha uses her cutlass and hits her opponent with a 10 hit combo

Rapid Raiding: Tasha steals her opponents weapon and uses it against them

Grenade Doom: Tasha shoots a grenade at her opponent dealing heavy damage while knocking them down

Third Original Character information

Name: Natsumi Mikami

Gender: Female

Age: High school

Personality to friends: Open and friendly. Often becomes silly around her friends.

Personality to strangers: See's if their friendly or not before approaching them.

Personality to enemies: Shows obvious dislike or hatred towards them.

Hobbies: Making sushi, drawing, writing, computer, video games, and studying about ancient cultures.

Likes: P.E (Especially Volleyball), Art, Cooking, Computers, cats, and Spying

Hates: Math, Wearing "Girly" Clothes, doing really girl stuff (Putting on make up etc.), and hospitals.

Appearance: Wears T-shirts and baggy jeans. Pretty much tomboy clothes. Always has a bracelet on that has a black pearl on it, the bracelet was given to her by her mom. Often wears a hat with a anime character on it. She puts her hair into two pony tails and dyes it different colors every month or so (Though her hair was originally black)

Family: Her mother Sumino Mikami is dead due to cancer. Her father is a business man and is usually away. Takes care of a stray cat that sometimes comes to her house.

Fears: Thunder and lighting and sickness.

Fourth Original Character Info

Zap

Gender: Female

Age: 16

Race: Nasod-Human

Eye Color: Glowing yellow eyes

Sexuality: The gayest gay to ever dare gay

Background: A nasod-human experiment made secretly by an elite Nasod scientist group, Zap was experimented on and given mastery over electricity! At a price, for she became unable to speak. Considered a failure by the Nasod scientists she was put in a capsule to be used for later if needed. She broke out after a curious human discovered her in an abandoned nasod facility. She killed the human out of shock and wandered around taking what she wanted... Until she meet the Elgang. She stayed with them for a long time until she died when her internal machine parts failed in a battle with the Nasod King.

Personality to strangers: Doesn't care about them but is a little tense near them

Personality to enemies: Blood will be shed if angered...

Personality to friends: Does anything for them even if she would die helping them

Personality when happy: Smiles a lot and is joyful

Personality when sad: Shocks anyone close to get them away from her

Notes: Zap has a few of her internal organs missing and replaced with electricity 'generators' and a body replica system similar to Eve's. Zap has many ways to communicate but often prefers to use a notepad and pen she carries around with her to 'talk' to others.

Lighting Welder

Appearance: Wears a black bikers jacket with three pockets. Has long black hair with yellow highlights. A necklace and hat with a lighting symbol. Has brown baggy jeans and a utility belt with various items in it. Wears gloves that help stop most of her lighting powers. Wears yellow sneakers with black laces. Has a scar on her throat.

Ability's:

Lighting Fist: Zap creates a electric charge around one or both of her fists.

Thunder Beam: Zap shots out a lighting bolt out of her hands at the enemy.

Electric Massacre: Zap becomes surrounded by electricity and the electricity shots out at the opponent randomly and without a pattern, making it very hard to dodge.

Storm Riser: *Only usable without her gloves* Zap uses all of her strength to create her own 'storm'. The 'storm' can shot down around to 300 bolts of lighting to destroy her opponent. This attack is one of Zap's least used attacks because it puts a lot of strain on her body.

If you have ever spent more than six hours straight on the computer then copy this into your profile, add your name to the list:

PenguinYasha, leafninja345435, Tsukiko The Librarian, M-Warrior, BTM707, Dreamnorn, Sceptilelv100, Sam Leonhart, JadeKurosaki, Aqua girl 007, EgyptianSky,sukairaa-chan, The Thief King, RiverTear980, Marikshipper, Coolaloo, Eien Ni Ushinawa, Song Of Hope, Colorici74, xxShadiceKokoro, Kiyo-Kun Blade, Enderkiller77,

FANFICTION- UNITED NATIONS!! Has anyone else noticed how a lot of us get along and make friends on here and we can be from completely different countries? WTF!? We're here making world peace on the INTERNET and we have all those ambassadors and senators and whatever struggling with it!! If you realize this (or read this and agreed) copy and paste this and add your name and country (country is optional but recommended) to the list. SPREAD THE PEACE PEPS!!:
Naruto-fan-Okami-chan (USA), NaraTemari011 (Puerto Rico), Lala girl in Lalaland (USA), Kakashi Forever (England), NinjasWillRuleTheWorld (Australia),Shadowtheangel (Sweden), Ice Prince Hitsugaya (USA) Azure Blue Espeon (USA), CorGryphonFeather (Egypt), xxShadiceKokoro (Canada), Kiyo-Kun Blade (USA), Enderkiller77 (Japan),

"I, Enderkiller77, as an author and as a person of free will and imagination, do solemnly swear, to stop what Critics United, and related and/or similar groups/persons are doing to , to keep it "Unleash Your Imagination" instead of "Limited Imagination Allowed," to try and counteract the actions of Critics United and those of similar and/or related groups/persons, to email Fan fiction solutions to age appropriate story problems other than the removal of stories, to write whatever I want, regardless of others, to only report stories if they break rules, not because they are bad, to not say destructive things in reviews and to keep my hands off the keyboard if I do not like the story, and to always remain true to my imagination and write what I want to write, and post what I want to post, and forever become a member of "The Liberation of the Imagination" forum." (if you agree, erase my name, put yours and put it on your profile)

TH15 M3554G3

53RV35 T0 PR0V3 H0W 0UR M1ND5 C4N D0 4M4Z1NG TH1NG5! 1MPR3551V3 TH1NG5! 1N TH3
B3G1NN1NG 1T WA5 H4RD BUT NOW, ON TH15 LIN3 YOUR M1ND 1S R34D1NG 1T
4UT0M4T1C4LLY W1TH OUT 3V3N TH1NK1NG 4B0UT 1T, B3 PROUD! 0NLY C34RT41N P30PL3
C4N R3AD TH15. R3 P05T 1F Y0U C4N.

Olny ctiaern poelpe can raed tihs.

I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdatnrd waht I was rdanieg.
The phaomneal pwoer of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at
Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in what oredr the ltters in a wrod are,
the olny iprmoatnt tihng is that the first and last ltteer be in the rghit pclae.
The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm.
This is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef,
but the wrod as a wlohe. Amzanig, huh? Yaeh and I awlyas tghuhot
slpeling was ipmorantt! If you can raed this, psas it on.

Trust me it wasn't easy!

Copy and paste this ONLY if you can read this.

How well do you know your OCs?

1: What's your OCs favorite color?
2: Where does your OC work?
3: What's your OCs favorite food?
4: Does your OC prefer paper or plastic?
5: How old is your OC?
6: Does your OC have any supernatural powers?
7: Is your OC in a relationship?
8: What are some of your OCs strengths?
9: What are some of your OCs weaknesses?
10: What is your OCs favorite outfit?
11: What is your OCs spirit animal?
12: Is your OC sexually active?
13: What is your OCs earliest memory?
14: Does your OC have a cell phone? If so, what kind?
15: What makes your OC angry?
16: When is your OCs favorite time of year?
17: How long can your OC hold their breath?
18: What kind of underwear does your OC wear?
19: Does your OC prefer plaid or polka dots?
20: What's your OCs favorite kind of pizza?
21: Who is your OCs best friend?
22: Has your OC ever killed someone?
23: Whats your OCs biggest secret?
24: What does your OC smell like?
25: What time of year does your OC prefer?
26: Is your OC a human or an animal? (or something else idk)
27: What languages does your OC speak?
28: Does your OC like anime?
29: Can your OC swim?
30: What's your OCs family like?
31: Does your OC believe in fairies?
32: Did your OC go to college? What did they major in?
33: Are your OCs parents dead?
34: Is your OC religious?
35: How flexible is your OC?
36: What turns your OC on?
37: What was your OCs first word?
38: Does your OC have any pets?
39: Who is your OCs biggest enemy?
40: What is the craziest thing your OC has done?
41: What is your OCs motto about life?
42: Does your OC drink coffee or tea?
43: Who is your OCs biggest hero?
44: What color eyes does your OC have?
45: Does your OC like reading?
46: Is your OC loyal?
47: Does your OC tolerate violence?
48: What social class is your OC from?
49: What country was your OC born in?
50: Does your OC cry easily?
51: What is your OCs favorite genre of music?
52: How does your OC feel about insects?
53: What is your OCs sexual orientation?
54: Does your OC smoke?
55: What gender is your OC?
56: What kind of clothes does your OC wear?
57: Would you call your OC adventurous?
58: Is your OC introverted or extroverted?
59: What is the first thing that someone would notice about your OC?
60: Does your OC enjoy nature?

Fail labels

On Sears hairdryer:
Do not use while sleeping.
(Gee, that's the only time I have to work on my hair!)

On a bag of Fritos:
You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.
(The shoplifter special!)

On a bar of Dial soap:
Directions: Use like regular soap.
(and that would be how?)

On some Swann frozen dinners:
Serving suggestion: Defrost.
(But it's 'just' a suggestion!)

On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert: (printed on bottom of the box)
Do not turn upside down.
(Too late! you lose!)

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:
Product will be hot after heating.
(Are you sure? Let's experiment.)

On packaging for a Rowena iron:
Do not iron clothes on body.
(But wouldn't that save more time?)(Whose body?)

On Boot's Children's cough medicine:
Do not drive car or operate machinery.
(We could do a lot to reduce the construction accidents if we just kept those 5 year olds off those fork lifts.)

On Nytol sleep aid:
Warning: may cause drowsiness.
(One would hope!)

On a Korean kitchen knife:
Warning: keep out of children.
(Hmm... Something must have gotten lost in the translation...)

On a string of Christmas lights:
For indoor or outdoor use only.
(As opposed to use in outer space.)

On a food processor:
Not to be used for the other use.
(Now I'm curious.)

On Salisbury's peanuts:
Warning: contains nuts.
(but no peas?)

On an American Airlines packet of nuts:
Instructions: open packet, eat nuts.
(somebody got paid big bucks to write this one...)

On a Swedish chainsaw:
Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands.
(Raise your hand if you've tried this...)

The Slender man...

Oh, should I travel through the woods

Or should I not wishing I would

For above me lurks within the trees

No one could hear my deathly screams

The palest man, the blackest suit

Bigger than the tallest brute

Six black arms will grab you up

Or, stalk you till you just give up

A top hat bares upon his head

Makes your soul fill up with dread

He takes you when you least expect

Boil you up, and eat your neck

He’ll leave your body not to eat

But staple your corpse on a tree

Fear the man, the slender man

For he can do, what no one can

Never Argue With A Woman

One morning, the husband returns the boat to their lakeside cottage after several hours of fishing and decides to take a nap.

Although not familiar with the lake, the wife decides to take the boat out.

She motors out a short distance, anchors, puts her feet up, and begins to read her book. The peace and solitude are magnificent.

Along comes a Fish and Game Warden in his boat.

He pulls up alongside the woman and says, 'Good morning, Ma'am.What are you doing?'

'Reading a book,' she replies, (thinking, 'Isn't that obvious?').

'You're in a Restricted Fishing Area,' he informs her.

'I'm sorry, officer, but I'm not fishing. I'm reading.'

'Yes, but I see you have all the equipment.

For all I know you could start at any moment. I'll have to take you in and write you up.'

'If you do that, I'll have to charge you with sexual assault,' says the woman.

'But I haven't even touched you,' says the Game Warden.

"That's true, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you could start at any moment."

'Have a nice day ma'am,' and he left.

MORAL: Never argue with a woman who reads.
It's likely she can also think.

Awesome Girl Comebacks!

Man: Where have you been all my life?

Woman: Hiding from you.

Man: Haven't I seen you someplace before?

Woman: Yes, that's why I don't go there anymore.

Man: Is this seat empty?

Woman: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.

Man: Your place or mine?

Woman: Both. You go to yours, and I'll go to mine.

Man: So, what do you do for a living?

Woman: I'm a female impersonator.

Man: Hey baby, what's your sign?

Woman: Do not enter.

Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning?

Woman: Unfertilized.

Man: Your body is like a temple.

Woman: Sorry, there are no services today.

Man: I would go to the ends of the world for you.

Woman: But would you stay there?

Man: If I could see you naked, I'd die happy.

Woman: If I could see you naked, I'd probably die laughing.

Man: If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put u and i together.

Woman: Really? I'd put f and u together.

Man: Your eyes, they're amazing.

Woman: Seeing your back would be pretty amazing.

Man: Did it hurt when you fell from Heaven?

Woman: About as much as when you got kicked out of Hell.

Man: It’s a good thing I have my library card, because I’m checking you out.

Woman: Oh, sorry, I’m reserved for someone else.

Man: I know how to please a woman.

Woman: Then please leave me alone.

Man: I want to give myself to you.

Woman: Sorry, I don't accept cheap gifts.

Man: May I see you pretty soon?

Woman: Don't you think I'm pretty now?

Man: Your hair color is fabulous.

Woman: Thank you. It's on aisle three at the corner drug store.

Man: You look like a dream.

Woman: Go back to sleep.

Man: I can tell that you want me.

Woman: Yes, I want you to leave.

Man: Hey, baby, what's your sign?

Woman: Do not enter or Stop.

Man: I'd go through anything for you.

Woman: Let's start with your bank account.

Man: May I have the last dance?

Woman: You've just had it

Man: What's it like being the most beautiful girl in the bar?

Woman: What's it like being the biggest liar in the world?

Man: So you wanna go back to my place?

Woman: Well, I don't know. Will two people fit under a rock?

A black man walks into a cafe one early morning and

noticed that he was the only black man there.

As he sat down he noticed a white man behind him.

The white man said,"Colored people are not allowed here."

The black man turned around and stood up.

He then said: "When I was born I was black,"

"When I grew up I was black,"

"When I'm sick I'm black,"

"When I go in the sun I'm black,"

"When I'm cold I'm black,"

"When I die I'll be black."

"But you sir..."

"When you're born you're pink,"

"When you grow up you're white,"

"When you're sick, you're green,"

"When you go in the sun you turn red,"

"When you're cold you turn blue,"

"And when you die you turn purple,"

"And yet you have the nerve to call me colored."

The black man then sat back down and the white man walked away..

Perhaps you would be interested in the stories below? Read them if you desire to and please leave comments if you wish.