Hi, this is Curtis Wildcat: churning out fanfics that make no sense since 1999.

Fanfictional interests: While I prefer Touhou-related stuff, I'll read most anything that isn't an insult to my tastes.

Television interests: Pokemon, formerly-local professional sports games (Tigers, Pistons, Red Wings). There's very little, if anything, that's actually good on TV nowadays; and since I have a 40-hour work week, I can't stick around the house and find out where it is.

Favorite movies: Big Jake, Star Wars: Episode IV, The Inspector General, Support Your Local Sheriff!, Duck Soup, The Rookie. Big Jake in particular is one of the few movies where I can just sit and watch the whole thing without feeling that I have to leave for some reason or another.

Favorite novel: Star Wars: Death Star.

BRIEF BIO

I used to be a Michigan man (raised, not born). I spent a little over two decades of my life in Dearborn Heights, so you can imagine that it was a bit of a shock for me when I moved to Kansas in 2007. I spent 13 of those years dealing with jerks who loved to take advantage of my short temper, a bad trait of mine that I've had to force back under control. (Why they focused on that and not my obesity, I'll never understand.)

I work 40 hours a week as a title researcher and I'm easily distracted by a multitude of stuff, so I apologize for my complete lack of updates.

I've had issues with depression for much of my life, but hearing about what happened to Brian Randall- - -some of you might recognize the name Durandall- - -has me determined not to give up.

And I like cats, too. Kinda goes without saying.

FORUM INFORMATION

Wildcat's Corner -- Created to house Author's Notes, character profiles, and other miscellaneous information on my stories.

NEWS AND DEVELOPMENTS

(08-10-2019) I really need to make time for this more often... but yeah, Gormless up to Chapter Three is released, and the music playlist for it is now up at YouTube. Click the link below to have a listen.

(10-13-2016) Got some new stuff for FoUR for you. What, exactly? You'll have to find out for yourself.

MISCELLANEOUS

"MegaSuika XLR", by Spectrum9001. Commissioned by RandomNumbers523156. My thanks to him. :D

"Patchouli Relaxing and Reading", by RemyFive. Commissioned by me. Based on her segment in MiP.

Monsters In Paradise music playlist -- This is about as close as I can get to an actual soundtrack for MiP. Consists of appropriate music found throughout Youtube.

FoUR, as posted at DeviantArt.

Fantasy Of Utter Ridiculousness Playlist -- An unofficial soundtrack for FoUR. More information on the playlist is at Wildcat's Corner, the link above.

Gormless Playlist -- Again, appropriate music to listen to for the story in question.

CURRENT WORKS

What Insertion? (Prologue, Chapters 1-23): On hiatus. Strongly considering cancelling it at this point.

Monsters In Paradise: On hiatus. Chapter Nine is currently stalled, and I don't feel like writing anything for it at the present time.

Boredom Breakage: A Vacuum in Feline Form: On hiatus as ideas warrant.

FUTURE WORKS

None at this time. The Shovel Knight/Touhou Project crossover I'd planned on doing has fallen through, so nothing on that front.

NON-WRITING INTERESTS

I like old video games (ex. Apogee's Commander Keen and Konami's Blades of Steel). I draw stuff occasionally. I also like to go bowling and play basketball, although I haven't been able to do either in the past year or so. I like animals, and a lot of the ones I've made up were inspired by Sonic the Hedgehog and the Superfriends (to be elaborated on below). Most of the stuff I watch on TV revolves around cartoons and sports, when I manage to watch anything at all.

WHY I WRITE THE WAY I DO

I was born in the 80s, but I'm a child of the 90s. I grew up with the Super Mario Bros. and the NES, so much so that my older brother got rid of them to keep me from wasting all my free time. I figure I watched at least half of the cartoons that the 90s (and late 80s, to a lesser extent) had to offer me, from The Adventures of T-Rex and the Super Mario Bros. Super Show to Gargoyles and The Powerpuff Girls. The 90s also introduced me to the Samurai Pizza Cats and Sailor Moon, shows that I credit for leading me to the Internet.

Throughout that span of time, I'd write stories for my own personal amusement. I liked cats a lot, and I liked to picture them walking around and talking like humans. After playing Sonic the Hedgehog and watching stuff on Cartoon Network, I'd started picturing them as superheroes. I didn't write for anyone else's approval; I wrote because I wanted to make myself laugh. I liked being lost in my own little world, where flying cats, sarcastic foxes and prankster wolves fought with each other as much as they fought the bad guys. My imagination led to the creation of Curtis Cat (later Curtis Wildcat), whose mug now serves as my avatar for this site.

(A minor side note is that I was tested for autism in the early 90s, which didn't pan out. My mother thinks it more likely that I have Asperger's Syndrome instead, and I'm starting to agree with her.)

I wrote stuff that would qualify as pure crack were it to be posted on the Internet (be thankful that very little of the things I've written in the 90s have seen the light of day): Simba and Nala from The Lion King joining a superhero team, a Super Star Destroyer getting blown up by dynamite as it prepared to destroy Earth, the Sailor Scouts fighting against my team of felinoids in the old Pontiac Silverdome, stuff of that nature. Little of it would make sense to anyone were they to read it, and looking back it all looks rather strange to me now. But I liked doing it; that's what's important.

And now here I am as a guy getting close to my life's halfway point. Most of my salary gets spent on medicine, health insurance, and student loans; I've been diagnosed with some illness or another; and every day the world with its crime, worldwide violence, and astounding feats of human stupidity continue to make me depressed. One day, I decided: "No. Absolutely not. If this is what being an adult is like, forget this. If the future's going to take me, it better be prepared to face the tennis racket of DOOM." If I knew what my life was going to be like, I would've tried to enjoy my childhood a lot more. And now that there's no turning back, I will immerse myself in my formative years once again.

I will write stuff that makes you say "What?", and I will make you question my train of thought. I will make you close your eyes and picture absurd situations. You will see me twist logic and common sense on its head. I will leave science to those better equipped to understand it, and focus on the fantasies and humor of my childhood. I will write to entertain myself, first and foremost; and if I've made even one person laugh, that's good enough for me.

I have to play by life's rules. Curtis Wildcat has no such restrictions, and I aim to keep it that way.

LAST WORDS

What Insertion? and everything before it is of significantly lower quality. I thought it was a good idea writing them at the time, but looking back on them now I'm embarrassed to have that stuff up there. Read at your own risk.

I cannot write dramatic scenes, dreary depressing stuff, nor anything close to a mystery. I can't write hot-blooded action scenes, my conscience quails in the face of intense violence, and the romantic sort of love escapes me. What I can do, however, is make people laugh; after all, I am here to make life just a little more surreal.

Ciao mein, everyone, and enjoy.