Um... I have no idea what to put here... I like travelling, I suppose, I want to travel to a lot of places around the world. I'm a homo-sapien, and am of the age - Nope, not going to tell you. I love books, and am always on the hunt for new book characters to fall-in-love with.

Uh... Right! Quotes. Quotes... Can I remember any quotes... Oh yeah!

Quotes

It’s hard to be a woman.
You must think like a man,
Act like a lady,
Look like a young girl,
And work like a horse.

I’m sorry... I didn’t realise you an expert on my life and how I should live it! Please continue while I take notes...

Stressed. Depressed. But well dressed.

I’m not lazy, I’m just on energy saving mode.

I do not get drunk- I get awesome.

MATH- Mental Abuse To Humans

Life is short, smile while you still have teeth.

“Did you just fall?”
“No. I attacked the floor.”
“Backwards?”
“I’m freaking talented!” (I love this one.)

If Monday had a face, I would punch it. (Seriously, I would.)

I can’t take this long distance relationship anymore. Fridge, you’re coming to my room.

That moment when you talk to yourself and start smiling like an idiot because you’re just so hilarious.

Sarcasm: Just one of the many services I offer

Sorry, I can’t today. My sister’s friend’s mother’s grandpa’s brother’s grandson’s uncle’s fish died. And yes, it was tragic.

5 Rules to remember in life:
1.) Money can’t buy you happiness, but it’s more comfortable to cry in a Mercedes than on a bicycle..
2.) Forgive your enemy, but remember the bastard’s name..
3.) Help someone when they are in trouble and they will remember you when they are in trouble again..
4.) Many people are alive only because it’s illegal to shoot them..
5.) Alcohol does not solve problems, but neither does milk..

I meant to behave, but there were too many other options.

It’s not illegal, just frowned upon... Like masturbating on an airplane.

“Trust me, you can dance.”- Vodka

Dear sleep, I’m sorry I hated you when I was little, but now I can’t get enough of you! Sincerely, Me.

“If you fall, I’ll be there.”- Floor

I like you. When the world is mine, your death shall be quick and painless.

When life knocks you down... calmly get back up, smile politely, and say, “You hit like a bitch.”

I’m not a princess, I don’t need saving. I’m a fucking queen and I got this shit handled.

“Laughter is the shortest distance between two people.”- Victor Borge

“Friendship is like peeing on yourself: everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling that it brings.”- Robert Bloch

He who wakes up early yawns all day long.

When I text you a massive paragraph and you reply 40 minutes later with ‘K’...
Are you asking to be punched?

I tried to be normal once. Worst two minutes of my life.

Remember, when someone annoys you it takes 42 muscles in your face to frown, but it only takes 4 muscles to extend your arm and bitchslap that mother-f#?@&$ upside the head.

Showers are great. They make you feel nice and clean, you sound like a professional singer & they also help you make all of life’s decisions.

Insanity does not run in my family. Rather, it strolls through, taking its time, getting to know everyone personally.

I don’t care what you think of me. Unless you think I’m awesome – in which case you’re right! Carry on...

I’m safe in the knowledge that I’ll never be put in the nuthouse... Because my doctor says I’ll be a bad influence on the rest of the patients!

Just remember if we get caught, you’re deaf and I don’t speak English.

Some people can’t sleep because they have insomnia. I can’t sleep because I have internet connection.

“Dude, she just called you fat.”
“Oh hell no! Hold my cake!”

Good friends don't let you do stupid things... Alone.

So here's me doing a little boogie my style to cheer ya up! Keep smiling!

Dear Math,
I am sick and tired of finding you 'X'. Just accept the fact that she's gone. Move on, dude.

You have enemies? Good. That means you've stood up for something in your life. -Winston Churchill

I could have avoided you, but somehow I knew you were a collision worth having.

I don't need to flirt, I'll seduce you with my awkwardness.

When I'm sad, I stop being sad and be awesome instead. -Barney Stinson

Princess? Bitch. I'm a queen.

Sometimes I use big words I don't always fully understand in an effort to make myself sound more photosynthesis.

I'm not bitter about Disney providing false expectations about a Prince Charming, I'm pissed off hat woodland creatures don't gather when I sing.

I'm a charming coward; I fight with words.

10 Ways To Maintain A Healthy Level Of Insanity.

1. At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and point a Hair Dryer At Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down.
2. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, Ask If They Want Fries with that.
3. Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks. Once Everyone has Gotten Over Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch to Espresso.
4. In The Memo Field Of All Your Checks, Write "For Smuggling Diamonds"
5. Whenever Stating a Fact, Add 'In Accordance With The Prophecy'.
6. Order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat, with a serious face.
7. Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is "To Go."
8. Five Days In Advance, Tell Your Friends You Can't Attend Their Party Because You're Not In The Mood.
9. Tell Your Children Over Dinner. "Due To The Economy, We Are Going To Have To Let One Of You Go."
10. And The Final Way To Keep A Healthy Level Of Insanity...Copy and Paste this into your profile!!!