man, l really wish this got updated...l'll continue it myself if l actually follow Nanoha. Sadly am not and l dont have the motivation to.

And even more sad, doesnt looks like the author care anymore :x

Is it bad that I wish the author got quarantined and so this story can finally get updated?

It's really annoying when I find a story with an interesting-enough idea for a plot but then the author goes and ruins it by forcefully inserting some completely unneeded OC that's probably just the author putting themself (or a representation of what they think of themself) into the story in a desperate attempt to forget how boring and mundane their actual real life is. In this instance, there really was no need to have Shirou disappear in South America only to be replaced by some dumb American that's probably going to be funny, cool and powerful all at the same time. The story would have worked just fine (and even better may I add) if Shirou *hadn't* gone missing in South America for no explained reason and we *weren't* left with some guy who probably owns a Saber dakimakura putting himself (or a represenation of himself) into the story to fulfill his dreams of being the Master of Saber.

This is good but... Ugh, if you truly do a rewrite please don't undermine the servants abilities like this and actually put more death to hammer the seriousness.

For example, Chu can just throw his spear at Signum the moment she flies with his Noble Phantasm, Archer can use multiple Noble Phantasm to rain at Nanoha, Berserker can just grab both of Vita and Subaru and pummel them until their bones break.

In fact the story give the chance to do all of this but it never happens. Most of the time the master retreat for no reason.

The pacing and the story is good but this backpedaling and plot armor are bad

Very interesting chapter. Is the rewrite out?

Also, how and why did Sigmund escape Gae Bolg? It shouldn't be possible.

Good chapter

The fights were pretty good.

I hope you Continue with this fantastic story. It is in my opinion They best fate x nanoha crossover.

My Best reacomidations for next time is to add lancers magic runs and uses some of the background information we gaind from other fate works such as FGO for the histor of each servant, and how they will do in a more relaxed group setting.
Lancer my not be a caster, or a experts on Magic runs, but he can still use them to great effect. He can uses them for Long rang combat, and set up powerful barriers that can bloke B rank noble phantasm, if given time and distance in battle.
As for The more laid-back and working together setting it can be pretty cool. It's one reason why peaple love carnival phantasm and FGO so much. With the possibility Of them haveing a good chat with the nanoha cast in the fucher, and the opportunity for multiple servants to work together, like in the last few chapters only a fool will pass it up.

One thing I was hopeing gill with do that I find unlikely, is after seeing Vido and her friends go into there more adult forms, Gilgamesh would be like, " so you can change your age? I can do the same, and even in your primes myself as a mere child can easily defeat you". Gilgamesh then drinks the elixir of youth, and everyone mouth drops when they see kid Gilgamesh.

I look forward with bated breath for fate/Lyrical crusade to emerge and good luck with your righting.

Good chapter

I love the fight between the two and Hercules. I can't wait to see the girls reminisce and the other is reaction to the fight between then and Berserker.
Hayate quite possibly the best hand to hand combat was about as a mosquito when having all the room in time to attack. Vido was hilariously out mached in every caeverytago every category and used as a A baseball.
If they ever learn that they sensually need to take out a monster like that at lest 12 times, and that The finishing blow will do nothing the next upcoming rounds. There skin will become so pale they would have to see a doctor.

Glad to see Vivio haveing a good time with her Friends, and Gilgamesh entrance into the eyes of the nanoha cast.

Gilgameshes aura and his thouts on the so called kings was excellently done.

I like how Gilgamesh is manipulating Vido by bring out what it truly means to be king side, and her rebellious phase. by getting ride of bluebird.
However, I hope Vido meets Artoria before its to late. The king of Knights ideals of being a king are at the opposite end of the Spectrum, but just right, and won't crapped the girl. Specially considering the once and future king of England understands what she did wrong as King

Interesting developments on the the servant front.

Also it was a nice seen of fate.

One of rins greatest nightmares have been relised. The combination of magic and Technology. However, I suppose Babbage, Edison, and Divinchi would be in their elements considering there scientist, summond with unbelievable affinities for magic.

Lastly Rin, and Bazet have the right idea. A teamup between masters to obtain the Grail is best. It upgrades their chances significantly, speeds up the process, and lowers the body count/ property damage greatly.
Heck in graeat Grail war and fate grand order we saw numerous large teams of servants working together no problem. All they need is to trust each other, or all the masters to be on the same wavelength do to a event or a leader for them to follow willingly and without question.

Good chapter

The seens with the girls befriending Iliya 2 was nice, and the seens of her being like fate, but on borrowed time added to a since the intrigue.

The fight was epic. With both sides will be shaken to the core.
One one hand STAB now has a way of tracking them down and just Learned what the Second one can do. On the other hand the fact that gust one of those guys can match one of there strongest operatives to a stalemate, and tern some of their opertinent to stone and a knowledge that you're facing monsters strate out of epic legends will schare them to their core.

Good chapter

I loved the seen with assassin. It showed of what a skilled assion is capable of, magnificently. A good assassin can Break into any facility with ease, kill with out reviliing themselves, hid from the most observance of trackers, and all the while refilling nothing but a fraction ofthe danger that they bring.
The stab will have a nightmare when they see him in action, but at the same time relieved that they at least have a hint of what the enemy is after.

Lastly could more servts be summoned now do to the ending of this chapter?

Good chapter

Well I see Blue bird has been Busy with his child testsubject.
If they think what they know from this chapter is bad then. My god have mercy on there souls when why inter Gillios work shop.

I love the interactions with saber and the nanoha cast this chapter, and hope to see more of them.

I also love the fights this chapter. However, I think lancer my be in trouble if his master, or teach find out that about his thouts about girl this chapter. Lancer would wish he was the guys he just demolished once they're done with him.

I also loved the like the fact you pointed out how similar Lutetie in teams of appearance and personality in stricks it's a little scary. Especially if they see what when medusa look like when she was that age.
Heck if Rider she's her I bet she would mistake her for one of her sisters, or possible family of for a long moment.

Lastly I like the idea of caster plain to manipulate both Sades wall not getting directly involved.
And the fact rider is planning to betray her master latter.

Good chapter

I really like the confess seen it really shows of how little they know of the Grail.

I also like the seems with of of them exploring the city and the methods they uses. It helps flush out the chariters and there tactics. Espeshly the last one.

Lastly hassan help the kid. All hassan fallow a code for all assassinations and behaviors. Not killing kids, and helping them one a big one.
Plus is they don't fallow it the grand assassin, King Hassan, the fist old man of the Mountain wilike appear and take the life of any hassan who streaks from the pafe. He is like a assassin with 3 class skills, mutiple powerful personal skills, states and body that can allow him to fight agents a powerful berserker class servant and win. Not to Minton a noble phantasm that's the equivalent of death itself.

Intestine

We have all the stay night servants, with caster, archer, and (saber) Lancelot from zero. For the main team. However, we whack the best chariter from both series Iskander.

Truthful I must say I am both amazed and a little disiponted on the first casualty.
With out the overseer, any chance of a friendly corporation between most of the servants is gone. However, avoded the augment of them stemroleing there way to the Grail, and allowing each servant to go all out. Plus with no oversee the Grail will have to summon a ruler.

I am serprised Gill having his holy maiden speaches with a saber face around. Unless he is take the shy school girl approach.

Lastly I am going to say you may have completely missed the powers and completely missed the powers and looks of sabers spire, but you Easley me up for it by protecting the horse needed for the lances power to be used fully.
By the way did Alexander the great's ghost pusses saber when she obtained her lancer class noble phantasm. Beacse she was imitating him.

Good chapter

I really liked the slice of life seen.

The cut and chest game was nice forshadowing for the Grail war.

If vivio is a master I hope she summons Jack, nursery rhyme, or Mordred.
Jack and the book will go great with Vivio confiding there both closes to the same age. Plus I bet fate would see a lot of her self in jack, but if she were to go of the deap end.
Mordred, like Vivio her parents are both girls. Place a battle between mordred and her father and/or a Reconsiliation between the two will be breath tacking.