There is no way I can make this sound original, ever. An attempt to write a believable RrB/PpG in high school fic. Rated M because teenagers use terrible language. "Nobody realizes that some people expend tremendous energy merely to be normal." - Camus

A harmless prank becomes the trigger for a domino-effect of important events in John Egbert's life. John/Dave, post-sburb.

Odd pairings. Whimsical humour. Somewhat disturbing scenarios. It's what you'll find here in this collection of crack drabbles.

In a wager against Sephiroth, Genesis stubbornly tries to prove that there's talent somewhere inside that clumsy cadet.

Feeling low, left behind and a disappointment, it came time for Luxiere to hit the turning point. Choosing which direction to take was not going to be easy when reaching his goal would take the confidence he was so sorely lacking.

"So, there's this guy. He's not really hot, like how you'd imagine, but there's something magnetic about him anyway." AU Dave/John

"It was a natural part of life, growing up, going to college, and moving away from friends. He'd known it was coming, they all had. He's looking forward to this new chapter of his life, away from Beacon Hills and all of scary, life-threatening supernatural problems he'd been dealing with for the past few years."

Loki had every intention of wreaking havoc upon Midgard the moment his suicide attempt had failed, it was just too bad that Midgard ended up being so distracting. Who knew that such a primitive society would have such a novel concept as therapy?

It was scared. It was scared and you killed it. Gen OS

In which Reno learns he must make better analogies and that SOLDIER Firsts don't appreciate bathroom humor.

In which Sephiroth acquires a new pair of boots and Reno inadvertently sets Hojo on fire. A sequel of sorts to "Socks." EDITED 6/30/2014

You don't know when you started to realize that things were different. Dave/John drabble.

John and Dave are finally moving into an apartment instead of living in the shitty dorms. Not that the apartment is much better. John is starting to realize that having Dave there more than makes up for it. OS. John/Dave

It's different for the Professor. Written for Father's Day. Un-beta'd.

Months ago, Dave asked John if sharing a bed would rid them of their nightmares. Maybe as roommates in college they can give it a try. Dave/John two-shot.

What if all your past pain could be erased with one action? Is it really suicide if you kill yourself from the past? A Karkat fic. Cleaned and reposted. Originally published 11-27-2010

Someone breaks Dave's sunglasses. The only gift he's ever cherished. The gift John gave to him. John/Dave slash OS.

They meet again, but it takes them a long time to find each other, and, while Roxas waits, he grows up. In which meeting in the next life doesn't go quite as planned. AkuRoku.

In which Sephiroth discovers that he too can suffer from "cuteness overload." And that Zack is severely allergic to cats. EDITED 5/23/2014

I knew you once, a long time ago. You were born in a nebula, and I was born in a star, and the spark of our union was enough to ignite a thousand Big Bangs. And though I don't remember you, I've never stopped searching. Deidara/Ino. AU.

Madara lied about the eye transplant's effects. Captured and brought back to Konoha, Sasuke must adjust to blindness and his unexpected survival. NaruSasu, written for RemixRedux 8.

Kurt finally gets the kiss he deserves - plus Karofsky sings! Set the week following the famous locker room scene. For those who want Karofsky to find redemption and Kurt to find happiness.

Uchiha Sasuke met the other half of his soul on a battlefield that neither of them were going to walk away from. Or so they thought. Love, it seems, can survive centuries, impossibilities- even death. Happy NaruSasu Day! For Jelp.

TyZula love fest. Azula is released from prison on her 18th birthday to live with her Uncle. Fluffy Fire Lord Zuko wants to make her "good". He wants to give her another chance. Boy, does he need a wake up call.

One-shot. After Avalanche tries to blow up the Sector 5 Reactor, Cloud starts getting messages from a mysteriously well-informed stranger on his PHS.

The Rouen School For Supernatural Entities is the foremost place of learning for human-like magical beings. As a result, Naruto Uzumaki, a fox demon, didn't expect to be accepted. And he didn't expect to develop a fixation on Sasuke Uchiha, a sorcerer.

AU: I was in love. The problem was, I was in love with the man sleeping under a pile of newspapers on a park bench.

I'm Sai. In my profession, you meet a lot of interesting people, and help them find the correct medecation, or sedatives. Yet, with all the stories they bring, I've learned stories often intertwine. AU SaiIno, implied KisaIta, rated: language, slight yaoi

It was ironic that in comparing her friends' lives to soap operas, Ino's own life would suddenly become as surreal as a daytime talk show. Ino. Deidara. Crackfic.

Nothing I have ever done is as important as this. I am a mother and this is my son.

Before Nightcrawler, before the Brotherhood, before Apocalypse, they were just two kids stuck in a large and lonely mansion, who loved hating each other's guts. A pre-series look at Scott Summers and Jean Grey, in simpler days of light and truth.

AU, KisaIta hints, mostly friendship. Sometimes there doesn't need to be a point to what you want to do- just doing it is enough. Just watch the sailboats and have some fun.

SANDSIBS fic. Kankuro wants desperately to connect and communicate with Gaara, but something seems to always get in the way. Covers pre-series all the way through Shippuuden.

AU, DeiItaDei. Itachi prides himself on being the epitome of perfection. Deidara prides himself on tearing that to pieces as unsubtly as possible. Itachi centric, emotional relationship fic. Complete.

Ennui is an unavoidable feature in a summer spent taking care of a rehabilitating brother. Never did it occur to Temari to think that finding a pen pal in an eccentric soldier on the other side of the world might help cure it. AU.

She was already hopelessly late for her court appointment; the last thing she needed was to run down a member of one of the city's most dangerous crime syndicates. Ino. Hidan. Crack AU.

In the year 3269, A.K.A.T.S.U.K.I. begin acting on their plans for universe domination by meeting on Planet X. Chaos ensues. Sci Fi AU.

Belated Valentine-for-Hanakage posting. NarutoSasuke AU ficlet. Sasuke is quiet and Naruto is counting. HS fluff with flowers.

Side story to Partners and Lovers. Rated M for sexual situations and some vulger vocabulary. Yaoi M/M KisaIta

NarutoSasuke AU. When dropping kisses might be dropping hints, or it might not be.

The connection that Sasuke was stranded at the airport for that Christmas was, fatefully enough, not the one he was about to make. NaruSasu, AU.

There is only one power in the universe capable of bringing even the most powerful ninja to their knees. Watch, as Naruto defeats Sasuke using the horrifying might that is *filler*! Naruto/Sasuke, silly fic.

Sasori had planned his death and his miraculous resurrection into a human body. What he hadn't planned was how his brand new flesh and blood would affect him once he reunited with his old partner. Sasori/Deidara. Post-Shippuuden, Deidara and Sasori live!

Sasuke finally meets his greatest enemy: the singles bar. Faced with fangirls, fanboys, and bad pick-up lines, only Naruto can save him from this unstoppable terror. Naruto/Sasuke or Sasuke/Naruto, whichever.

Shikamaru and Neji face off in the long-awaited genius battle of the century...or maybe just because they're both extremely bored.

Of summer employment, young love, and the perils of Swedish pop music. NaruSasu, AU

Prison was horribly boring. The only thing you could really do was think, and Mai could only seem to think about one thing. Well, to be fair, Zuko wasn't a thing. He was a jerk. Not that there was much of a difference. ::Maiko::

Sasori knew ahead of time that as he and Deidara began learning English that they would both develop accents. Though, he wasn't planning on his lover's French accent to be so...well, cute. -SasoDei AU-

Accents were something that Kakuzu knew he and Hidan would have once they had begun to learn the English language. However, long after Kakuzu had perfected an American accent, Hidan was still replacing the 'W' sound with that of a 'V.' -Cute KakuHidan-

Kisame wonders about his relationship with Itachi. Oneshot, KisaIta.

AU: In which Sasori is the new Woodshop teacher with a bit of an attitude problem. And everyone wants a piece of him. :DeiSaso

Zexion has to end it. Demyx is everything he isn't: sweet, random, talkative, trusting. But wait. Isn't that why Zexion fell in love in the first place? [AU] [Zemyx] [For Dualism]

AU: When the man proclaimed 'I must be sane', Sasori replied 'Yes, in your head at best.' :ItaSaso, Prequel to Bomber, Baby:

Deidara–centric Akatsuki fic set in a cyberpunk/sci–fi AU. Contains made–up slang, cyborgs and swearing. Mostly gen but hints of SasoDei if you're looking for them.

AU NaruSasuNaru. Sasuke, Naruto, and a kitten.

When Ino met her dream boy, it was on a bus to New York, and it took her several hours to learn his name and stop calling him 'Pinapple Head'. Sakura, on the other hand, literally ran into hers and got cake all over his shirt. Nice.

SasuNaru. "It was too damn early for this." Some Fluff and Romance, because it was asked of me, lol. YAOI. Christmas fic.

Itachi x Kisame, speculative AU. One man's genius is another man's insanity.

[AU] So Deidara had said 'I thought you were dead,' and Sasori replied 'No, but you might be though.' [DeiSaso] [Sequel to Bomber, Baby]

Kushina Uzumaki is insane.

[AU] And the terrorist claimed, 'Art is a BANG' while Sasori said 'Not', and almost got shot. [DeiSaso]

It was a fact of life Kakuzu had come to accept. When you were as good looking as Hidan, people tended to treat you like a god. Funnily enough, Kakuzu couldn't recall ever getting the same treatment.

It's the simple things that keep them together. — SasuNaru

Sasuke hates Naruto.

Everyone has secrets. Gai is just good at keeping his. Second in 'Matters, Secrets, and Times.'

When one ritual dies, another is born. [SasuNaruSasu] Yaoi.

Uchiha Sasuke, the fearless leader of Team Hebi, finds himself in over his head when he and his team stumble upon an abandoned, bizarre little inn in the middle of a nameless forest. Crackfic.

Truth, lies, coffee, and the nature of eternity. [Really heavily implied Sasori x Deidara]

Out of the mouths of babes comes the sweetest poison.

Set four years after the timeskip during Konoha’s reconstruction, when Naruto finds that it’s not only the village in need of fortification. [SasuNaruSai triangle, InoSaku on the side] Yaoi, spoilers up to chapter 337.

All Hyuuga are proud. Neji measures his pride differently. First in 'Matters, Secrets, and Times.'

Tobi glanced around, noticing that the Leader, Deidara, and Kisame were watching Hidan as though he was about to put on a show. He didn’t understand why, since Hidan was merely conversing with the cable man about the TV. Warning: extreme profanity ahead!

My explanation of what happened to Reno and Rude in Advent Children during the times they were off camera. How and why they showed up where they did and when they did. Nominated for the Genesis Awards.

Sasuke is a firefighter intent on bringing down his arsonist of a brother, who only has one goal in life: kill Sasuke. Which of the two brothers will come out on top, and how many will die in the crossfire? SasuNaru

Gaara, Haku, hints of Zabuza x Haku and Naruto x Gaara. Spoilers for the timejump. Gaara dies, but he isn't alone in purgatory.

Naruto makes himself at home and it sucks to be Kakashi. [Implied NarutoSasuke. Sequel to Avoiding the Issue]

Kankuro x Tenten fiction that isn't complete crack. Worth reading, if only for the novelty value.

AU: College Years. Sasuke doesn't want to come to terms with his feelings, but when rivals appear, he has to take matters into his own hands...NaruSasu Shounenai, yaoi.

Although he never gave any indication of caring, Gaara always observed and learned from the delicate and confusing relationship Kankuro and Temari shared.

Kisame, Hinata. Genius doesn't equal tactful. Dealing with genius does.

Oneshot, AU, crack. The world might enjoy tragic stories best, but personally Kisame preferred happy endings. Mild KisaIta.

Itachi knows that he is forgetful. He knows that the people he lives with know, but sometimes he can't help feeling like they're hiding something from him...KisaIta, SasuNaru

While observing a storm one night, the lights disappear along with Kankuro and Temari’s caretakers, forcing the siblings to face the vulnerability of the fatal, forbidden anomaly that is Gaara.

Cliche as crackers. Naruto, Sasuke, Sakura, birthdays, symbolism, fluff and Come, Come Paradise. (NaruSasu, one-shot)

Valentine's Day is merely a commercial endeavor constructed to aid in my continuing hatred of all mankind." Well, yes, but it's also about love. (NarutoSasuke)

When all is said and done, all that's left is to live. NarutoSasuke fluffy drabble-thing.

Funny how it’ll take moments of paralyzing terror, missing coffee beans, and Hasbro games to make Gaara, Temari, and Kankuro realize how much they love each other, ne? Ch.2: Kankuro explains porn to Gaara and sibling love is realized.

Four years ago, mutants were exposed to the world. Humanity retaliated with the XVirus, a strain of biological warfare that ransacked the planet and left devastation in its wake. Epilogue 2: Not quite a happy ending [Now with added fanart goodness!]

If you can't tell what this story is about by looking at the title, then I can safely say that you are a moron.