When life gives you lemons, squirt the juices into the eyes of your enemies!!

When life gives you lemons, make grape juice and drive people crazy trying to figure out how you did it.

When life gives you lemons, throw them at rabid fangirls to escape.

I'm a guy. That's right, a guy, and i'm straight. All of the yaoi i have written is for my very best friend, whom i call Sarcasm, and she's awesome, this is a present for you! And these are her favorite pairings

Leon/Cloud-i actually like this one,which scares me

Zexion/demyx

Axel/Rikas

Reno/rude

Sora/riku-this one would be cute

Kakashi/iruka

Byakuya/renji

Kyo/yuki-they ARE cousins

neji/kankuro

saskuke/naruto-sooo wrong

danny/dash-lol

kanda/allen

lavi/tiki

Twins (host club)-the incest, it burns

honey/mori-more laughter

twins (harry potter)-ack

harry/draco-pfth

kazahaya/rikou

light/L

vincent/sid

ichigo/shico

ichigo/ishida

yunichika/ikkaka

riadon/genma

deidara/sausori

kotetsu/izumo

joey/kaiba-lol

matt/mello

rei/kai

rae/eclipse-i can see this one so much

havoc/fuery

ed/ray

ed/russel

itachi/kisame

marek/bakura-more lol

And now it's awesome Favorite Quote Time!!

"Flying is learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss." - Douglas Adams

I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places. - Henny Youngman

A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.

I am not a vegetarian because I love animals; I am a vegetarian because I hate plants. A. Whitney Brown

When you are courting a nice girl an hour seems like a second. When you sit on a red-hot cinder a second seems like an hour. That's relativity. - Albert Einstein

In God we trust; all others must pay cash.

"You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on."

Short funny quotes by, Dean Martin

"Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe."

Short funny quotes by, Albert Einstein

"I can resist everything except temptation."

Short funny quotes, Oscar Wilde.

"I intend to live forever. So far, so good."

Short and funny quote by, Steven Wright.

"Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way when you criticize them, you are a mile away from them and you have their shoes."

Short and funny quote by, Anonymous.

"Stupidity got us into this mess, then why can't it get us out?"

Short and funny quote by, Will Rogers.

"Some people say that I must be a horrible person, but that's not true. I have the heart of a young boy -- in a jar on my desk."

Stephen King

"Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read."

Groucho Marx

"The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four Americans are suffering from some form of mental illness. Think of your three best friends. If they're okay, then it's you."

Rita Mae Brown

"Why don't they make the whole plane out of that black box stuff."

Steven Wright

Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.

Is the fear of flying groundless?

"Tragedy is when I cut my finger, Comedy is when you fall into an open sewer and die"- Mel Brooks

"Friends are gods ways of apologizing for our families"

"All who wander are not lost." -JRR Tolkien

The object of war is not to die for your country but to make the other bastard die for his. -- General George Patton

Only those who attempt the absurd can achieve the impossible.

Can't we have one meeting that doesn't end with digging up a corpse?

Mayor Quimby

“Love is like a booger. You keep picking at it until you get it, then wonder what to do with it.”

The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks behind. (Humphrey Bogart)

"Well, you know how everyone has a conscience, and you know how everyone also has an inner child? So what you do is, you imagine a gun and point it at the inner child's head, and then you say to your conscience, 'Shut up, bitch, or the kid gets it!" - Maya

Talking about music is like dancing about architecture.

For him that stealeth, or borroweth and returneth not, this book from its owner, let it change into a serpent in his hand and rend him. Let him be struck with palsy, and all his members blasted. Let him languish in pain, crying aloud for mercy, and let there be no surcease to this agony till he sing in dissolution. Let bookworms gnaw his entrails...and when at last he goeth to his final punishment, let the flames of Hell consume him forever.

Anonymous "curse" on book thieves from the monastery of San Pedro, Barcelona, Spain

Their gaze met for a few seconds. The exchange was as warm and friendly as a pair of automated range finders getting a mutual target lock.

Dan Abnett (2000). First & Only, Games Workshop

In the beginning the universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and has been widely regarded as a bad move. - (The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy, The Restaurant at the End of the Universe)

I would also like to give credit to my other friend, whom i post things for to let everyone know what an amazing author she is and how crazy funny she is.

Her's are:

Angst- This one was deleted all because some loser decided that she didn't like it!!

Fangirls in Wonderland

Fangirls of Darkness

Marcone in Love

The Great Angst Off

A Hacker's Dream

A New Brother

Halloween

Three to Two

They are all by the awesome person known as Reason

I also wanted to point out that she and i are the people that the two main characters in fangirls in wonderland are based off of. i was made into a girl :( so that it would be fangirls in wonderland, not fanpeople in wonderland.

We're also thinking of starting a web comic, but can't decide what to name it. Right now it's the anime thingy mawhatsit. Our characters are way cool. Mine is a Holy Knight named Tory LaFist(and my character is a guy), A necromancer named John Doe, A Zebra Person named Floppy(who looks scary good in a Tux), a vampire named Daren Peters, and Liz Ele who is a telepath, and a telekinetic, she can move shit with her mind. It also involves a Holy Spatula and some sex crazed ghosts, and lots of craziness