I scarcely, if ever, update or change this, but now it's time.

1. I've been here forever, and while I had some stories up that dated from the really, embarrassingly bad period of time when I suffered from what writers call 'being fourteen-years-old,' I finally cleared it out. So yeah. Sorry if you liked any of that stuff...but...if you did...please. Seek help. Most librarians can give one something just as enjoyable to read and whole powers of ten better just by reaching in any direction, grasping until they feel paper and then saying "Here, try this one." This applies even if you make this request in the Little Librarians' Room and the nearest item they can hand you is, in fact, the lightly printed packaging of a feminine librarians' product or an item useful for preventing unexpected baby librarians. Really.

2. Feel free to email me.

3. Despite the mistreatment of certain characters who inhabit that particular form on occasion, I do, in fact, like rats. I have a friend who keeps several and I spoil them terribly with yogurt drops. I do not, however, care for spiders, and any tarantula lovers would do well to not take the way I treat their pets' cousins personally.

4. Pairings you are most likely to see: AxI, HP/GW, NT/RL, etc. I can get very random when I want to. You may see slash in my work because I may see slash in real life. If you can find it in reality, you can probably find it here...that does not go both ways, though, sorry to say.

5. Yes, there ARE a lot of OCs. Piles of them. If you like that, good; if not, meh. It's not like there's any shortage of fanfiction writers. I've actually become sort of famous as an OC-specialist...well, famous in the sense that being well-known as a fanficker is about as rare, special or useful as having a dog who likes you. In fact, the story I suspect most of you are here to read is the result of a bet that I couldn't write the Anti-Mary-Sue. It's still moving along, if slowly, but just lately a new dimension was added to the bet -I was dared to have some of my supporting cast actually be Mary Sues, with one redeeming exception: they don't know it. Sues always seem to know they're beautiful and pretty or else they have a finely-crafted coating of angst powder -that carcinogenic dust made from dried and ground-up emo kids' eyeliner. A real Haplessly Mary Sue, according to my darer, must have accepted that some things in their life are different from others', know that they are good at some things and not others, and then carry on with otherwise normal lives instead of going full-tilt and heaving-bosom after one or another main canon characters. They may be stunningly pretty -but they can't think so themselves, and there has to be a catch in every 'cool' thing they have going on. That sounded fun to me, so...I'm writing it. There's also been one real, genuine, stupid-as-a-stone Mary Sue in there for a few chapters...when twenty people find the bint, then I'll kill her off.

6. Updates will appear...eventually. Note the enormous, huge, multiple-Presidential-Administration gaps between start dates and most recent updates on some of the newer fics. This is my longest-running hobby and I'm probably never going to give it up, but I don't always have the time for it that I used to, and for that, I apologize and plead the readers' patience.

I mean, FFS, look at the 'profile created' date and the present day. Yeah. The only reason why I hadn't deleted any of the incredibly, embarrassingly bad stuff written way back in the dial-up-only, antediluvian Before Times is the fact that the one time I started doing so, another writer emailed me to basically say "stop! no! the comparison between this and your new stuff is giving me hope that I can improve, please, please leave it at least long enough for me to save!"

So that was as weird and uncomfortable as a satchel of greased ferrets, but it was also flattering, so up it stayed, for years if only as a constant reminder to me that 'you, Self, are not as bright as you think you are.' Though considering some people emerged from that time of life with tattoos, STDs, children or prison records, I suppose some really abominably crap fanfiction is not that bad...oh, yes it is.

So I finally up and culled some of the pre-2004 stuff. It was the literary equivalent of heads on spikes, there only as a warning to others who are also suffering from that atrocious condition called 'being-fourteen-years-old.' It can be terminal. 71 and 74 chapters and over a thousand reviews (yeah, really...that was weird,) don't matter at all if the work isn't actually any good.

And then I got another PM from another person who liked two of them and wanted them put back up to save. Sigh. So back up they go, and up they will stay. I expect this is how most writers and artists feel about their extremely early work. Thank mercy that everything I did before age fourteen or so was done in physical notebooks and could be given a decent Viking funeral.