Yautja117

Name: Why do you want to Know?

Sex: Yes Please

Gender: Male.

Religion: Christian and proud of it.

Likes: Alien/Predator stuff, Naruto, Tenchi Muyo, Transformers, Halo, Gears of War, Dead or Alive, Mass Effect, the scecond amendment, Hellboy, MEAT, X-box 360, MST3K, Werewolves, and the original Godzilla films. I personaly agree with what PETA stands for: People Eating Tasty Animals.

Dislikes: SasukeXanything. I wouldn't leave my dog in the same room as him. Yoai. Chet, Anal Vegetarians, Nikki, my relatives, AIDS, Transmorphers, Alien vs Hunter, Alien 3000. Vampires can go to hell.

Pairings: Naruto/Sakura. Naruto/Ino. PredatorxSakura (I've seen GodzillaxSakura so anythings possible.) Master Chief X Cortana MarcusXAnya

Most hated pairings: Sasuke dosen't deserve love. Optimus PrimeXStarscream or Megatron. HellboyXAbe or Johann Krauss. Any Gears of war pairings. They're all guys. Master chiefxArbiter.

Music: Metal. Disturbed and Godsmack are my personal Favorites though. Others include: Dragonforce, Shine Down, Rammstein, Iron Maiden, Metallica, Slipknot, Fear Factory, Drowning Pool, Iced earth, Killswitch Enage, Five. Bolt. Main., Dark Tranquility, Rob Zombie, Black Sabbath/ Ozzy, Motorhead, ACDC, Dream Evil, Demon Hunter, Megadeth,Breaking Benjamin, and Static X. Now and again, Weird Al and Toby Kieth.

Favorite songs: Indestructible, I stand Alone, Fear, Red Raw, Spinal compression, The Enemy, Two Worlds, The Soldier's Song and The Legacy.

Most hated songs: Sakura drops(Gojiprime... that bastard played the song until I was ready to naw my ears off), Handle Bars.

I have a Youtube acount but haven't put anything up yet. By November I should have all my Halo, Gears of War and AVP videos up.

Favorite quotes: "Peace through Tyranny!" by Megatron.

"I like the cow skin on the cow." Chet.

"Me Grimlock go with you. . . . but me Grimlock go with you alone!" Obvious.

" The Idea is to Celebrate the kid's birthday, not make it her last one!" Rachet.

"I am Wrek-Gar! I dare to be stupid!" again, obvious.

"Oh, that's just great...I think I got some in my eye" — Marcus Fenix (after chainsawing an enemy)

"Ah, just die already will ya?!" — Marcus Fenix (curb-stomping)

"Ah, Great, I got some on me... Now I got Cooties."— Marcus Fenix (after chainsawing an enemy)

"What? Is it a spider? Get it off!" Donut

‘Coby so help me Primus you back out now and I will personally see you bitch-slapped,’ Optimus in Blossoming Love mountain, a Dragoon Galaxy Fanfic.

“Megatron has fallen! I, Starscream, am now leader of the Decepticons!”

~ Starscream after Megatron so much as trips.

“STAAAASCREEEEEEM!”

~ Megatron upon getting back up.

"30 days of Night was satire! The Vampires are wearing nice cloths and lite the town on fire with oil! There's no way that the Vampires aren't American or that oil hppened to be common in Alaska!" Chet on today's horror films and politics.

"That's FIVE Motherfuckers!" Marcus, after headshoting five locust in a row.

I like attempting to do crossovers with my Favorite things. Random and Perverted humor are also often something I use. As for my hatred of Yaoi it stems from WAY to many fanfics... and Niki, a yaoi crazed girl in my school. The anime club was never the same...

In my spare time I hunt, fish and hang out with my friends.

- The number 117 isn't just Master Chief's identification, it's the length of his penis... in yards.
- There is no energy shield. Projectiles just stop before hitting the Chief.
- Master Chief doesn't need weapons to kill things, the weapons need Master Chief
- The Spartan Mark V armor actually broke because it couldn't contain Master Chief's awesomeness.
- If the marines just stay out of his way, Master Chief can finish the entire Halo story before you can say 'Halo'.
- The Chief did scare some Elites. So much that even their armor colors turned white, that's why there are white armored Elites.
- Microsoft doesn't own Master Chief. On the contrary, the Master Chief owns Microsoft.
- Master Chief's voice has the power to give women orgasms. The helmet he wears merely keeps that from happening.
- There are no Hackers, Modders, Glitches, Lag, and Cheaters. You losers were playing against the Master Chief and he's a better player than you.
- Gordon Freeman sleeps in Master Chief pajamas.
- All leading causes of death among aliens involves Master Chief.
- There was indeed an ending for Halo 2. Your X-Box just can't handle it after loading the Master Chief.
- When the Master Chief files his Tax Returns, he sends in the forms with plasma grenades attached.
- In the original Super Mario Bros. The Master Chief is the reason why the princess is in another castle
- Master Chief once blew up a German Panzer tank just by staring at it for 2 seconds
- Master Chief has 2 settings: 'Kill' and 'Extreme Massacre'
- When Master Chief wants eggs, he melee attacks a chicken. The eggs come out boiled and nicely salted
- When Freddy Cruger goes to sleep. He gets haunted by Master Chief.
- Master Chief can solve a jigsaw puzzle by throwing the box into the air and shoot it with a full clip. The puzzle will land completely solved.
- Master Chief can eat a whole puffer fish and survive
- In the Grand Theft Auto games. It is possible to go beyond the 6 Star wanted level. When you do, Master Chief will immediately kill you with a rocket launcher.
- Respawn exists because the afterlife lives in fear of Master Chief.
- Breaking Benjamin's song for Halo 2, 'Blow Me Away', is a poem of one of Master Chief's many kills.
- The dictionary is actually a list of objects, places, and ways the Master Chief has , in many combinations, kill people.
- What happened to the wildlife from the early build of Halo? They commited suicide because they knew the Chief was coming.
- Spartan armor is actually designed to protect the enemies from the Master Chief
- The real reason that Bill Gates left Microsoft is because he pissed the Chief off. Now he's hiding in fear.
- When Master Chief wants steak. He melee attacks a pregnant mother cow, when the cow gives birth; she gives birth to a cooked steak with garnish
- When Chuck Norris files his taxes, he sends in a blank return and a picture of himself, crouched and ready to attack. Chuck Norris has never had to pay taxes.
One year, the IRS sent him back a picture of Jack Bauer wearing his dark sunglasses as a response to Chuck's means of filing his tax return. In response to the Jack Bauer photo, Chuck Norris
sent the IRS a picture of Master Chief holding the Index in Halo's Control Room. The IRS never bothered Chuck ever again.
- When Chuck Norris visited the Virgin Islands, they're now known as 'The Islands'. When Master Chief visited the Islands after Chuck, Well... guess what happens next?
- Before the development of Rayman: Raving Rabbids. The Rabbids' had to undergo coaching to achieve their psychotic screaming, this coaching was done with a picture of Master Chief.
- For training to fight grunts master cheif 'Melee Attacks' the face of cow babies at least once a day (by Sonicgundam)
- Crime no longer exist because master chief took a bite out of it... LITERLY
- When Master Chief shoots. The bullets don't go into the enemies, the enemies are going into the bullets.

If you believe in Jesus Christ put this in your profile and don't just ignore this, because in the Bible it says if you deny me, I will deny you in front of my Father in the gates of Heaven.

If you cannot stand child abuse, please copy and paste this into your profile!

If you think that Sasuke from Naruto completely has to have the nick-name 'Chicken Butt Hair Dude', copy this to your profile while laughing your ass off.

If you hate Vampires and wish to skin one and/or light them on fire then beat them with a cross, repost this!

Transformers the MovieNote: This part mentions Hot Rod, Wheelie and Daniel the Prat. Another Note: This film features the deaths of all your favourite characters. Another Blasted Note: This film also has a lot of Star Wars references.

After 65 episodes of glorious fun, the Hasbro idiots got drugged and decided to "up" the series. Killing off practically all of the G1 character, they replaced with a busload of new crappy and annoying characters. A stand-in for the Death Star, Unicron starts eating planets and kicking ass. The Transformers have been fighting eachother all the way into 2005 and they aren't even bored yet. Prime sends his best troops to Autobot City on Earth, but the Decepticons get the jump on them and kill the crew (Brawn, Prowl, Ratchet and Ironhide). The Decepticons launch a big laser attack on the city and kill everyone except all the new characters and the Dinobots. Optimus Prime arrives and battles Megatron..but then...but then...the most horrific and annoying Transformer arrives - HOT ROD!! He leaps in Megatron's way and starts leaping about trying to get attention. Prime is shot and dies thanks to the asshole, and no one kills Hot Rod. Prime passes the Matrix of Leadership to Ultra Magnus.

Megatron, Skywarp, Thundercracker and the Insecticons are tossed out of Astrotrain by Starscream, and then anal raped by Unicron who reformats them into Galvatron, Scourge, Cyclonus (and his non-existent armada) and the Sweeps. Galvatron goes to Cybertron and kills Starscream with a barbeque. Unicron gets mad at Galvatron and sends him chasing the Autobots all over the galaxy. Ultra Magnus dies and is rebuilt by Wreck-Gar and the cast of Monty Python who dare to be stupid. Hot Rod and Kup get captured by the crazy Quichtessons and the Sharkticons, while the Dinobots meet the retardicon Wheelie. The Dinobots save Hot Rod and Kup and they all the Autobots go out to kill Unicron. Hot Rod and Galvatron fight in the bowels of Unicron's netheregions while Unicron zaps Cybertron, killing Shockwave and the Coneheads. Hot Rod gets ahold of the Matrix and greedily absorbs its power and becomes Rodimus Prime. He tosses poor Galvatron into space and blows up Unicron. He then declares himself the new dictator of Cybertron. Thankfully, the narrator explains that Optimus Prime will return. Thank Primus.

Things learned from Watching AVP

1. Everyone has forgotten what Alexa's three rules are, including the audience.

2. Alexa and her team are the chosen ones.

3. Lightning always occur underground.

4. Although guns never save anyone, huge amount of people still tend to bring them along.

5. The next hunting will begin on 10th October 2104, visiting pyramids on this day might not make for an enjoyable holiday trip.

6. Predators are our friends who tend to kill every human beings in their sight.

7. Flaming Predators is not a good way to ask for mercy.

8. Predators don't kill humans with hairstyle like theirs.

9. The new dynamic duo: Scar Pred and Alexa.

10. Paul Anderson deserves to die.

11.Whenever you come across a puddle of unidentifiable goop, by all means, immediately stick your hand in it and then get it as close to your face as you can. Never mind that it might be from one of the strange creatures currently running around. Don't give a thought that it might be toxic. Dig in! Don't be shy!

12. You can drown something that came from space.

13: As long as you have a "Team of Experts"...you're fine.

14: Bottle Caps and Speaking Spanish make for excellent tools in character development.

15: If you have a funky accent, you die.

16: When embarking on a dangerous expedition in a frozen wasteland where the chances of survival/return are low and the possibility of being empailed by a bloodthirsty extra-terrestrial is extremely high...always remember to bring your camera so you can take pictures of your goofy-self for National Geographic.

17: The Predators have a recording of Bongo Drums playing on the loud-speakers in their ship.

18: Simultaneously, the Predator ships themselves don't make a single damn sound...allowing them to pass over the expedition undetected.

19: Going into uncharted territory where you don't know if you'll live or die is, according to Weyland, "worth the risk" ... apparently the full reason is "worth the risk of not knowing what you're doing at all."

20: Signal Flares apparently also have a knack for making perfect cinematography in a jiffy.

21: Ancient civilizations only spoke in cheesy one-liners...

Drafting Guys over 60
Researchers say 18-year-olds think about sex every 10
seconds. Old guys only think about sex a couple of times a
day, leaving us more than 28,000 additional seconds per day
to concentrate on the enemy.

I am over 60 and the Armed Forces thinks I'm too
old to track down terrorists. You can't be older than 42
to join the military. They've got the whole thing
ass-backwards. Instead of sending 18-year olds off to fight,
they ought to take us old guys. You shouldn't be able to
join a military unit until you're at least 35.

For starters:

Young guys haven't lived long enough to be cranky,
and a cranky soldier is a dangerous soldier. 'My back
hurts! I can't sleep, I'm tired and hungry!' We
are impatient and maybe letting us kill some ahole that
desperately deserves it will make us feel better and shut us
up for a while.

An 18-year-old doesn't even like to get up before
10 a.m. Older guys always get up early to pee so what the
hell. Besides, like I said, 'I'm tired and
can't sleep and since I'm already up, I may as well
be up killing some fanatical son-of-a-bitch.'

If captured we couldn't spill the beans because
we'd forget where we put them. In fact, name, rank, and
serial number would be a real brainteaser.

Boot camp would be easier for older guys. We're
used to getting screamed and yelled at and we're used to
soft food. We've also developed an appreciation for
guns. We've been using them for years as an excuse to
get out of the house, away from the screaming and yelling.

They could lighten up on the obstacle course however.
I've been in combat and didn't see a single 20-foot
wall with rope hanging over the side, nor did I ever do any
pushups after completing basic training. I can hear the
Drill Sgt. In the 'New army' now, 'Get down and
give me ... er .. One.'

Actually, the running part is kind of a waste of
energy, too. I've never seen anyone outrun a bullet.

An 18-year-old has the whole world ahead of him.
He's still learning to shave, to start up a conversation
with a pretty girl. He still hasn't figured out that a
baseball cap has a brim to shade his eyes, not the back of
his head.

These are all great reasons to keep our kids at home
to learn a little more about life before sending them off
into harm's way.

Let us older guys track down those dirty rotten coward
terrorists. The last thing an enemy would want to see right
now is a couple of million pissed off old farts with
attitudes and automatic weapons who know that their best
years are already behind them.

If nothing else, put us on border patrol...we will
have it secured the first night!

Share this with your senior friends. It's
purposely in big type so you can read it...