I am african american with short black hair, black eyes and I look like my dad. serious army brat but has no intrest in joining. Been to 20 out of fifty states so far. Going to jamica soon! I freakin Love mexican,somoan,korean,seefod,and spicy things. I'm shy at school,but i act seriously wild at home. complete computer adict. I love Naruto, winx club, all yu gi oh, pokemon,digimon, vampire princess miyu, azumangah daioh, marmalade boy,tokyo mew mew, total drama,W.I.T.C.H,powerpuff girls,vampire acdamey,static shock,wallflower, shguo chara teen titans, black cat, X men and tons more.

Favorite color:orange

Favorite parings: Naruhina,sakusasu,shikatema,kibaino,nejiten,B.C and Butch, GwenXDuncan, DaisyXVirgil,RoseXAdrian,Toph and Aang, Nana and Nobu, Amu and Ikuto ,Raven and beastboy, Jinx and Kid flash, Eve and Train, Eve and Leon, Train and Saya, Rogue and Gambit, Bobby and Kitty

Wish: That I will become an author.

Difference between Friends and best friends!

Friends:Never ask for anything to eat or drink.

Best friends:Helps themselves and are the reason why you have no food!

Friends:Call your parents by Mr. Mrs. and grandpa by grandpa.

Best friends:Call your parents MOM and DAD and grandpa by Gramps.

Friends:Bail you out of jail.

Best friends:Would be sitting right next to you Saying "Damn we fucked up!"

Friends:Have never seen you cry.

Best friends:Won't tell everyone else you cried... just laugh about it later when your not down anymore.

Friends:Ask you to write your number down.

Best friends: Have you own speed dial!

Friends: Borrows your stuff and gives it back a few days later

Best friends:Loses your shit and tells you... "My bad here's a tissue"

Friends:Will leave you behind if thats what the crowds doing.

Best Friends: Will kick the whole crowd's ass that left you.

Friends:Would knock on your door.

Best friends: Will Walk right in and say"I'M HOME!"

Friends:You have to tell them to not tell anyone

Best friends:Already know not to tell.

Friends:Are only here through high shool/college (drinking buddies)

Best friends:Are for life

Friends:Will be there to take your drink if they think you've had enough

Best friends:Will look at you stumbling all over the place and say "drink that BitcH! You know we don't waste!"

Friends:Will ignore this letter...

Best friends:Will repost this!!!

MY favorite sayings

The man who smiles when things go wrong has found someone to blame it on!!!

Time is a great teacher...unfourtunatley it kill all its pupils

Never take life serously. No one gets out alive anyway.

I'm so clever some times I don't even know what I'm saying.

I just broke up with some one and the say "you'll never find some one like me again!" I'm thinking "I sure hope not! If i don't want you why would i want someone like you!."

Love is like a booger. You keep picking till you get it and wonder what to do with it.

A banker is a fellow who lends you his umbrella when the sun is shining but wants it back when its starts to rain!

Between two evils I always pick the one i never tried before

Comebacks to Cheesy pick-up lines

Man: Haven't I seen you before?
Woman: Yes that why I don't go there anymore

Man: Is this seat empty?
Woman: Yes and this will be too if you sit down.

Man: So you wanna go back to my place?
Woman: I don't know can two people fit under a rock?

Man: Your place or mine?
Woman: Both. You go to yous and I'll go to mine.

Man: I'd like to call you whats your phone number?
Woman: Its in the phonebook.

Man: But I don't know your name.
Woman: Thats in the phonebook too.

Man: So what do you do for a living?
Woman: I'm a female impersonator.

Man: Hey baby, what's your sign?
Woman: Do not enter.

Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning?
Woman: Unfertilized.

Man: Hey come on, were both here at this bar for the same reason.
Woman: Yeah! let's pick up some chicks!

Man: I can tell you want me.
Woman: Ohhhhh! Your so right. I want you to leave.

Man: If I could see you naked I'd die happy.
Woman: Yeah but if I saw you naked I'd probally die laughing

Man: Your body is like a temple.
Women: Sorry no services today.

Man: I know how to please a women.
Women: Then please leave me alone.

Man: I woud go to the end of the Earth for you.
Women: Yeah but would you stay there.

After hearing for the pick up line
Women: I like your approach, now lets see you depatrure.

Older man: Where have you been all my life?
Woman: For the first half of it, i probaly wasn't even born.

Man: Whats it like being the most beautiful woman in this bar?
Woman: What's it like being the biggest liar in the world?

Man: Hey baby! That dress looks gorgeus on you! But it would look even better lying on my bedroom floor.
Woman: Youre right but the only way its going to get there if you but another just like it and throw it on the ground yourself!

Some of the funniest stuff I've ever heard (I got this stuff from somewhere just can't remeber what.)

If all else fails destroy all evidence you tried

When life gives you lemons make grape juice then sit bak and smirk while everyone else whonders how the heck you did it.

Never argue with an idiot they'll just bring you down to their level and beat you with experience.

Whoever said nothing is impossible, never tried slamming a revolving door.

If you can't beat a computer at chess than ,try kickboxing!! ( I know I can't)

There is always a light at the end of the tunnel. Usually it is an oncoming train.

Evening news start with "Good evening." then continue telling you why it isn't.

A consultant is some one who takes a subject you already know and makes it confusing.

Never argue with a fool people might not know the difference.

When you're right no one remebers, when you're wrong no one forgets.

Last night i was looking at the stars abd thought "where the heck is my ceiling!"

Everybody makes mistakes. The trick is to make them when no one else is looking.

He who laughs last thinks the slowest.

Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won't expect it back.

They say hard work won't kill you, but why take the chance.

An idiot is a 44th window washer and steps back to admire his work.

Everyone has a photographic memory. Some just don't have film.

I like work. It fascintes me. I can stare at look at it for hours.

If you can't see the bright side of life. polish the dull one.

The secret to sucess is serenity. Once you fake that you're good.

Where there's a will...there are five hundred relitives.

It dosen't matter if you win or lose; what matters if I win or lose.

I used to have super powers. My theripist took them away.

Keep smilling it makes people wonder what you're up to.

Love you're enemies it gets them really confused.

I can only please on person per day. Today's not your day. Tommorrow's not looking good either.

Silence is golden but duct tape is silver. (Got this from a t-shirt.)

I'd explain it to you but your head would explode.

Anythig thrown hard enough should hurt.

Flying is simple just throw yourself at the ground and miss.

I couldn't repiar your breaks so I made the horn louder.

I don't get even I get odder.

Chaos, panic, pandomonium my work here is done.

Two wrongs don't make a wright but it makes a good excuse!

Excuse me while I try to find a container for my joy.

You're slower than turtles stampeding through penut butter.

Never meddle thrrought the affairs of dragons. To them you're cruchy and taste good with ketchup.

SOMETHING CUTE!!!!!

Girl: Do I ever cross your mind?

Boy: No.

Girl: Do you like me?

Boy: No.

Girl: Do you want me?

Boy: No.

Girl: Would you cry if I left?

Boy: No.

Girl: Would you live for me?

Boy: No.

Girl: Would you do anything for me?

Boy: No

Girl: Choose me or you life.

Boy: Me

The girl runs away in shock and pain.

"The reason you never cross my mind ic because you're lways on my mind."

"The reason I don't like you because I love you."

"The reason I don't want you is beuase I need you."

"The reason I woulnd't cry if you left is becuase I would die if you left."

"The reason I wouldn't live for you because I would die for you."

"The reason I woulnd't do anything for you is becuse I would do everything for you."

"The reason I chose my life because you are my life!!!!"

Cute right?

ECUSES FOR HOMEWORK

I didn't do it becuase I didn't want to add to my teahcer's already heavy workload.

I made a papaer airplane out of it, and it got hijacked.

I put it in a safe and lost the combinataion.

I loaned it to a friend and suddenly he moved away.

The light im my house went out and I had to burn it to get enough light to see the fuse box.

I didn't do it becuase I didn't want the other kids to look bad.

MORE ABOUT ME!!

I love Drama comedy t.v shows and I am a big time fantasy writer!!

I am a taurus and ocassionly go to the stars for help. (like two times a month)

I love oranges, steak, and mozzerelas sticks.

I fall in love easily. Then most of the time I get hurt due to the fact their my friends and they only see me as a friend.

I am a serious writer and tend to get into character.

I get into my reading easily. I got grounded for two months for not doing my homework.

I'm a straight a student. So I hate it when people are on my back for writing in class news flash I got this two days ago.

I am a loner but I got this very cheerful personality.

My sister belives there are no stupid questions just stupid people. I believe their are stupid people and questions.

I have two older sisters, one older brother, a younger sister, and brother.

I tend to do things on the fly.

I don't study yet I'm still the top of the class. I wonder what would happen if I did study?

I have no allergies.

I have two middle names. I know!

My step mom is Somoan so my little sister and brother are half somoan.

I don't like people telling me what to do when their wrong. Here are two examples.

Me and my teacher (Fake didn't happen)

Teacher: Stop writing.

Me: I wish I could but I need to finish this besides i know this.

Teacher: Do this on your persoanl time.

Me: What personal time! You get me up at 7:00 and Keep me here till 2:45. You take all my personal time. Don't get me started on my home work.

Me and MY friends ( Fake but I wish it was real)

Friend 1: Stop writing.

Me: Nope.

Friend 2: Pay ateention to the teacher. Its rude.

Me: Listen here I'm doing something. Stop telling me what to do. I don't know if you noticed but you still do your homework off of me! When you get somethig above a C then we can talk about this.

Friend 3: Told you not to mess with her.

I have an anime obsession.

I hate it when people discontinue stories. I start yelling "Hey I was reading that! No it was getting goood!" ( Goes in corner and cries.)

I have short attention span. (Which is why I hate studying.)

I wish one day the make up worlds I create will come true.

I sometimes imagine myself in my dreams.

I am a serious daydreamer to the point I actually forget to listen to the teacher.

I know some japanesse.

That's all you need to know!!

97% of teens would cry if they saw Robert Pattison (Edward from twilight) standing on top of a skyscraper, If you're one of those 3% who would sit there eating popcorn yelling "Do a Flip You Sparkly Bitch!" Copy and repost this!

Ways to annoy people or just plain stupid things.

Name your dog "Dog"

Start each meal by conspicoulusly licking all your food, then annoucne that its so no one will 'swipe your grub.'

Follow a few paces behind someone spraying everything they touch with Lysol

Making beeping noises when a large person backs up.

Change the channel five mintues before the end of the show.

Stand over someone's shoulder mombling as they read.

Ask people what gender they are.

Lick the filling out of all the Oreo cokkies and put them back in the tray.

Sing along at the opera.

Mow your lawn with scissors.

Holler random numbers when someone is talking.

Ways to annoy people in an elevator

Ask "Did you hear that cable snapping sound.

Sing the Barney theme song as loud as you can.

Funny stuff I have heard

Attempting to give a damn...
Unable to give a damn...
Stopping...
Process failed!
[Damn not given]

You:My dad bought me a new mirror, my old one is broke.
Me: I can see why.

You:Do you want a piece of my mind.
Me:No! I can't take the last piece.

Frosty the Carrot-nose Snowman song lyrics (from Let's kill Frosty)

Frosty the Carrot-nose Snowman!
Had a very crunchy nose!
And if you ever saw it
You would even say it was orange.

All of the other snowmen used to laugh and call him names!
They never let poor Frosty play in any snowman games.

Then one hungry Christmas eve Santa came to say.
'Frosty with your nose so crunchy won't fill my hungry belly?'

Then how the snowmen loved him.
As they shouted out with glee.
Frosty the Carrot-Nose Snowman
You'll go down in History!

Frrosty the Carrot-Nose Snowman.
La la la la la la la
Frosty we love you boy!

Frost the Carrot-Nose Snowman!
Spreading the Chrsitmas Joy!

Please send me a message if you guys put this on your profiles.

This is freaky beware: This is a true story. A girl died in 1933. A man buried her into the ground while she was still alive. The murder chanted "Toma sota balcu." as he buried her. Now that you have read this chant,you will meet this little girl. In the middle of the night she will be in your ceiling. She will suffocate you like she was suffocated. If you post this on your profile she will not bother you. Your kindess will be rewarded.

There were 3 girls. They were looking through peoples myspaces

The girl slowly came upon this one myspace.

It had creatures in the background and the man looked like a psycho.

She startd laughing when her friend commented on how ugly he was.

Right then an instant message came up.

It read.

SatanStalker:So how do you like my Myspace???

XxLoVeMexX: What??

XxLoVeMexX: Who is this anyway?

SatanStalker: well you should know you're looking at my Myspace right now.

XxLoVeMexX: How do you know im looking at ur pro?

SatanStalker: I know when people look at my Myspace.

XxLoVeMexX: That doesn't even make any sense.

SatanStalker: I just do.

SatanStalker: Especially to pretty girls like you.

SatanStalker: With nice legs I might say.

At this time the girl was wearing high shorts.

She started to pull them down to pull them down a little bit to cover what ever she could. her and her friends started to get worried.

XxLoVeMexX; What ever man your starting to scare the living sht out o me.

SatanStalker: You should be afraid.

SatanStalker: You wouldn't want an ugly guy like me thouching your legs hu? I meant thats what you just said about me to your friend like a minute ago.

They were in shock.

Her friend: Holy crap mn just block him he's a fcking psycho.

The girl: Ok Holy crap. You think he's watching us?

SatanStalker: I am.

SatanStalker: It wouldn't really matter if you blocked me it wouldn't stop me from coming to your house.

XxLoVeMexX: What? My house?

SatanStalker: Yeah you're alone so it isn't a problem.

XxLoVeMexX: Whatever I think I'm going to leave because your freaking me out.

SatanStalker: Your screen name says love me, trust me that won't be a problem.

SatanStalker signed off.

The girl and her friend was really scared.

Girls friend: Whatever let's just go upsatirs trust e I doubt e's really coming. it's just a joke from someone.

The girls went upstairs and had a pillow fight.

All of a sudden the girls friend said she had to go to the bathroom. The girl said okay.

Ten minutes later the girl realized her friend was still in the bathroom and was wondering what ws up.

She knocks but no one said anything.

She opens it and finds her friend on the ground dead. She started to scream but when she turns around he was there. Mewws the next morning said tere was one girl dead in the bathroom.

her neck sliced with blood all over the ground. With her head nailed to the wall just her head.

If you do not repost this in the nxt two minutes three men will be there.

One in your room, one in your bathroom and one killing one of your parents. Tonight at 1:30 am

I do not own any story but i do own the ideas

The Real Definition of Words When Used By Women

Fine- I am right. This argument is over. You need to shut up.

That's Okay - One of the most dangerous statements a women can make to a man. "That's okay" means she wants to think hard and long before deciding when and how you'll pay for your mistake.

Nothing - The calm before the storm. This means "Something" and you better be on your toes. Note: Arguments that start with "Nothing" usually end with "Fine" (See #1).

Five Minutes - If getting dressed, this means half an hour. (Don't be mad about this. It's the same definition for you when it's your turn to do some chores around the house.)

Thanks - A woman is thanking you. Do not question this or faint. Just say, "You're welcome," and let it go.

Loud Sigh - Not actually a word but rather a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. It means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is standing here wasting her time arguing with you about "Nothing." (See #3)

Go Ahead - This is a dare, not permission. (Don't Do It!)

Don't worry about it, I got it - The second most dangerous statement a woman can make. It means that a woman has asked a man several times to do something and is now doing it herself. (This will result in you asking at a later date, "What's wrong?" For the woman's response, see #3.)

1. Thou shall not sneak out when parents are sleeping.
(why wait that long)

2. Thou shall not do drugs.
(alcohol lasts longer, not to mention being cheaper.)

3. Thou shall not steal from K-Mart.
(Wal-Mart has a bigger selection)

4. Thou shall not be arrested for vandalism.
(destruction has a bigger effect, I can tell you all about this)

5. Thou shall not steal from your parents.
(everyone knows grandma has more money)

6. Thou shall not get into fights.
(Cat fight anyhow...just start them.)

7. Thou shall not skip class.

(just take the whole day off)

8. Thou shall not wear revealing clothes in class.
(Hooters pays more)

9. Thou shall not think about having sex.
(like Nike says, "just do it")

10. Thou shall not help old ladies across the street.
(just leave em in the middle)

Arguments

Women always have the last word in an argument. Anything a man adds after that is the beginning of a new argument.

Cats

Women love cats.

Men may say they love cats, but when women are not looking, will men kick cats.

Future

A woman worries about the future -- until she gets a husband.

A man never worries about the future -- until he gets a wife.

Success

A successful man is one who makes more money than can be spent by his wife.

A successful woman is one who can find that a man.

Marriage

A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.

A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, and she does.

Dressing Up

A woman will dress up when she goes shopping, empties the garbage, answers the phone, waters the plants, gets the mail and reads a book.

A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.

Natural

Men wake up looking as good as when they went to bed.

Women will somehow deteriorate during the night.

Children

A woman knows all about her children. She knows about their best friends, romances, secret hopes and dreams, favorite foods, fears and dental appointments.

A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.

Thought for the Day

Married men should forget their mistakes. There is no need for two people to remember the same thing.

To Be Six AgainYou really have to give this guy an A for effort.

George was a thoughtful husband. He wanted to give his wife something special for her birthday which was coming up soon. As he sat on the edge of the bed, he watched his wife turning back and forth and looking at herself in the mirror. "Reta," he said, "What would you like for your birthday?"

His wife continued to look at herself and said, "I'd like to be six again."

George knew just what to do. On the big day, he got up early and made his wife a bowl of Fruit Loops. Then he took her to an amusement park where they rode all the rides. Five hours later, Reta's stomach felt upside down and her head was reeling. Never the less, George took her to McDonald's and bought her a Happy Meal with extra fries and a chocolate shake. Next, it was a movie with popcorn, soda and her favorite candy.

As Reta wobbled into the house that evening and flopped on the bed, George asked her, "Well, Dear, what was it like to be six again?"

Reta looked up at him. Her expression changed. She said, "I meant my dress size!"

Why Men Are Happier

Men can play with toys all their life.

Men can wear shorts no matter what their legs look like.

Men have one wallet and one pair of shoes which are good for every season.

Men can choose whether or not to grow a mustache.

Men can "do" their fingernails with a pocket knife.

Men's bellies usually hide their large hips.

Chocolate is just another snack.

The whole garage belongs to them.

Weddings take care of themselves.

Men's last name never changes.

Everything on a man's face stays its original color.

Men only have to shave their faces and necks.

Men can keep the same hairstyle for years, even decades.

Men can do their Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on Christmas Eve in 25 minutes.

For men, wrinkles add character.

Men can go on a week's vacation and pack only one suitcase.

Men's new shoes don't cause blisters, or cut or mangle their feet.

Men don't have to stop and think which way to turn a screw.

Men have one mood all the time.

A wedding dress cost $5000. A tuxedo rental - 100 bucks

Men can open all their own jars.

What A True Boyfriend Should Do...

When she walks away from you mad
(Follow her)

When she stare's at your mouth
(Kiss her you idiot)

When she pushes you or hit's you
(Grab her and dont let go)

When she start's cussing at you
(Don't cuss back and make her feel worse,
just deal with it for the time being)

When she's quiet
(Ask her whats wrong,
but not a billon times when she says nothing)

When she ignore's you
(Give her your attention)

When she pull's away
(Pull her back)

When you see her at her worst
(Tell her she's beautiful)

When you see her start crying
(Just hold her and dont say a word)

When you see her walking
(Sneak up and hug her waist from behind)

When she's scared
(Protect her)

When she lay's her head on your shoulder
(Tilt her head up and kiss her)

When she steal's your favorite shirt
(Let her keep it and sleep! with it for a night)

When she tease's you
(Tease her back and make her laugh)

When she doesnt answer for a long time
(Reassure her that everything is okay)

When she look's at you with doubt
(Back yourself up)

When she say's that she like's you
(She really does more than you could understand, completly true)

When she grab's at your hands
(Hold her's and play with her fingers)

When she bump's into you
(Bump into her back and make her laugh)

When she tell's you a secret
(Keep it safe and untold)

When she looks at you in your eyes
(Don't look away until she does)

When she misses you
(She's hurting inside)

When you break her heart
(The pain never really goes away)

When she says its over
(She still wants you to be hers)

Did you know? Before you go to sleep at night there is 1 person from the opposite rainbow, thinking of you, they want to kiss you, they want to be with you, they're always thinking about you before they go to sleep at night and they are longing to be with you. This is all true not fake. If you repost this on your page within 5 mins, that person who is longing to approach you will approach you in a month and ask you out or grab you and kiss you but if you break this chain no one will like you or ask you out for 45 years

Everybody, Somebody, Anybody, And Nobody

This is a little story about four people named Everybody, Somebody, Anybody, and Nobody.

There was an important job to be done and Everybody was sure that Somebody would do it.

Anybody could have done it, but Nobody did it.

Somebody got angry about that because it was Everybody's job.

Everybody thought that Anybody could do it, but Nobody realized that Everybody wouldn't do it.

It ended up that Everybody blamed Somebody when Nobody did what Anybody could have done

My Mother Taught Me

1. My mother taught me RELIGION.

"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."

2. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL.

"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of
next week!"

3. My mother taught me LOGIC.

"Because I said so, that's why."

4. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC.

"If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the
store with me."

5. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.

"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."

6. My mother taught me IRONY.

"Keep crying and I'll give you something to cry about."

7. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.

"Shut your mouth and eat your supper."

8. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM.

"Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck?"

9. My mother taught me about STAMINA.

"You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."

10. My mother taught me about WEATHER.

"This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."

11. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.

"If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"

12. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.

"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."

13. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.

"Stop acting like your father!"

14. My mother taught me about ENVY.

"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't
have wonderful parents like you do."

15. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION.

"Just wait until we get home."

16. My mother taught me about RECEIVING.

"You are going to get it when you get home!"

17. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.

"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that
way."

18. My mother taught me ESP.

"Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"

19. My mother taught me HUMOR.

"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don’t come running to me."

20. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT.

"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."

21. My mother taught me GENETICS.

"You're just like your father."

22. My mother taught me about my ROOTS.

"Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"

23. My mother taught me WISDOM.

"When you get to be my age, you'll understand."

24. My mother taught me SHAPE-SHIFTING.

"You'll turn into a sausage if you eat any more."

25. My mother taught me about JUSTICE.

"One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you!"

I am not that girl,
The one that is super popular.
The one that is rich.
The one obsessed with Twilight.
The one that will lie to get her way.
The one that doesn't care about your feelings.
The one that wears her Team Edward or Team Jacob shirt proudly.
The one that has a new boyfriend every week.
The one that hates her life because she wears size-two jeans.
The one that would cry over a boy.
The one that loves Justin Bieber.
The one that will give up because she broke a nail.
The one that started wearing makeup at nine years old.

BUT

I am that girl,
The one who likes books more than boys.
The one who pretends not to be sad, just to make others happy.
The one who reads and writes to escape.
The one who just wants to help.
The one that really wants to make a difference.
The one that sticks to her values.
The one that doesn't look at race or homosexuality.
The one that cries when she feels alone and helpless; it only shows she's strong.
The one that knows she's beautiful, no matter what others say.
The one that refuses to believe that this is it.
The one that doesn't care if she eats too many cinnamon buns...they taste good.
The one that people like, because she's crazy.
The one that doesn't care if she looks like a retard, because if looking like a retard is what it takes, go for it.
The one that will do anything to make a better tomorrow.
The one who won't give in.
The one who won't give up.

Paste this to your profile if you agree with every one of these.

Random quotes

You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted, then used against you.

If you have ever just wanted to SMACK someone, paste this to your page.

If it weren't for physics and law enforcement, I'd be unstoppable!

To be or not to be... technically that's not really a question.

You're a great friend. But if we're ever being chased by zombies, I'm tripping you.

The shinbone is a device for finding furniture in a dark room.

When life gives you lemons... throw them at the idiot who thought they would help.

If the opposite of pro is con, then what's the opposite of Progress?

Be nice to your kids. They'll choose your nursing home when the time comes.

If you are born ugly blame your parents, but if you died ugly, blame your doctor.

Diplomacy - the art of letting someone have their way.

Every morning is the dawn of a new error.

I am a Nobody. Nobody is Perfect. Therefore I am Perfect.

Ninety-nine percent of all lawyers give the rest a bad name.

There are 3 kinds of people: those who can count and those who can't.

Why is "abbreviation" such a long word?

When you go into court, you are putting yourself in the hands of 12 people who weren't smart enough to get them selves out of Jury duty.

Don’t mess with me; I've got a stick

Don't follow in my footsteps, I tend to walk into walls

I call things as I see them; If I didn't see them, I make them up!

Please note : Christmas is cancelled - apparently you told Santa you were good this year ... and he died laughing

I've got ADD and magic markers. Oh, the fun I will have!

I have a gun!... would you like to buy some girl scout cookies?

I'm going on a quest, to the deepest, darkest corners of my room, in search of what some would call a "floor" - a long and difficult task awaits me my friends, wish me luck, for I may not return a

"I didn't loose my mind, I sold it on eBay."

"I dont suffer from insanity... I enjoy every minute of it."

1 out of every 4 people are insane. Look at your three best friends, if it's not them, it's you.

I am NOT saying your stupid...I'm just implying it.

You cry, I cry, you laugh, I laugh, you fall off a cliff ... I laugh even harder. Hey, I'm the one that pushed you!

"Boys are like lava lamps fun to look at, but not very bright."

"I'm the type of girl who will laugh at a scary movie, but screams bloody murderwhen toast pops out of the toaster... AHHH TOAST!!!!"

I got you a present. It's a CD. I hope you don't have it already coz I don't have the receipt. i didn't exactly buy it.

I took the road less traveled... NOW WHERE THE HECK AM I?

I am not a loser. A loser is a window washer on the 44th floor who steps back to admire his work.

Normal is just a setting on washing machines.

I believe you should live each day as if it is your last, which is why I don't have any clean laundry because, come on, who wants to wash clothes on the last day of their life?

Life is like a pack of gum... I've yet to figure out why.

"I'm not afraid of Death. What's he gonna do,kill me?"

Without GOD, our week would be:

Sinday,

Mournday,

Tearsday,

Wasteday,

Thirstday,

Fightday,

Shatterday.

Repost this if you are not ashamed of GOD.

Seven days without GOD will make one weak.

I am smart...very smart.

My dream was to go to a performing arts school

A dream crushed by my family. Saying I was to smart and needed to be practical with my life.

I gave up on my dream and did not apply to go.

I applied to the 'practical' school. By the time I realized that I wanted to go it was too late.

But still I refuse to give up. I will keep writting until I become an author and next time I won't give up