"The greatest challenge facing our time is not weapons of mass destruction, or terrorism, or ethnic cleansing. It is that we are raising a generation of passive bystanders."

- The Dali Lama

Friends on this site

moontoga29 - Friend of mine from school. If you like D. Gray Man, check her stuff out.

Bronius Maximus - My mutual beta. He prereads my stuff, I preread his.

Things I notice every now and then (Blog)

You know what's probably an excellent way to see who, if anyone, in a given crowd is a musician? Loudly play a track of someone playing an instrument/singing really badly. Non-musicians will, at most, wince a little and move on. But musicians will cringe in true pain.

Also, I just noticed that this site has an image function now. Go figure.

Personal Info (That I'm willing to give out)

Name: I thought the point of having a pen name was that nobody knew who you were. So, no. I aint sayin'.

Gender: Male

Age: 18 (plus or minus the relativistic effects of the planet's velocity)

Where am I?: Ontario, Canada. (At the same latitude as New York City. Not the far North. Just saying.)

Personality: Well, where to start. I'm the kind of person who'll break the ice with an off-colour joke that everyone laughs at anyway. If that doesn't work, then I fall back on self-deprecating humour. Hey, if you can't laugh at yourself, who can you laugh at? But anyway, I'm also a bit of a pyromaniac, am pretty good at cooking (the girls like that) and have an ego that truly knows no bounds. Comes with being ridiculously talented, I guess.

Current obsession: My Little Pony (I'm a brony. Effin deal with it.)

Other: I play trumpet for the Aurora Community Band, am currently majoring in environmental biology at York University, and have citizenship in both Canada and Germany. Being a musician, I also place a near-fanatical priority on soundtracks. It's at the point where I actually worship John Williams instead of George Lucas and Stephen Spielberg, or Daniel Ingram instead of Lauren Faust. It says so on my shrine to them.

Junk On My Stories

Yeah, yeah, I would. Current project: An unnamed MLP fic that I'll publish when it's done.

Favourite story: I'll Fly Higher, My Little Pony. A sadfic I wrote because I could.

Least favourite story: Coffee, Super Smash Brothers. I should actually get rid of it, but I keep it as a reminder to never write at 3 am. Especially while suffering from insomnia.

IF YOU HATE PEOPLE WHO TELL YOU TO COPY AND PASTE SHIT INTO YOUR PROFILE, COPY AND PASTE THIS SHIT INTO YOUR PROFILE

Literary themes I like

Angst: I love psychological decay. You know, take a character, make it go insane, keep it in its perspective, et cetera...Then of course there's romantic angst, which if done right, is awesome. That's probably why I like Macbeth so much.

Comedy: In conversations, my humour goes from dry, to sarcastic, to downright facetious. In stories, I go for situational comedy, coupled with ludicrous dialogue. I admit, I've got a warped sense of humor, but I love to laugh. As long as the comedy's not morbid. Save that for grimdark fics. On the other hand, one of my current ideas involves crashing funerals. Go figure.

Plot twists: You know, those moments where you gape at the screen for a moment, going "what the hell did I just read?" Or those moments where a convoluted series of events falls together into the absolute last thing you expected. It's hard to pull off, and any writer that can do that has my instant respect.

Battle scenes: This is not to say a work isn't complete without a battle scene. But I ask that in battle scenes, you keep it as realistic as possible: every gritty, gory detail. War isn't fun, and I expect any kind of battle scene to keep with that. I know I write in that fashion.

Historical accuracy: I admit, for fanfiction, this is a bit much to ask, but I like the technology/society/weapons to be accurate to the approximate historical period. I also expect them to be accurate in their effect. Research, people. When I see this kind of thing, I know I can distinguish the good writers from the great writers.

In short: Give me comedy. Give me romance, as long as it's well and convincingly written. Give me intrigue. Give me horror. I have no particular bias, as long as it's well done.

Things I Like

Explosions, milkshakes, heavy draw compound bows, lasers and robots, chocolate, robots and lasers, owls, wolves, snakes, spiders (I know. I'm weird.), orchestral and soundtrack music, power metal, air combat, sushi, and taking up people's time with irrelevant drivel.

Things I Hate

Sappy romances, coffee, asparagus, plotless junk, Shakespeare, belligerent idiots, parody fics that aren't funny, medical inaccuracies, improper use of "it's", mornings and anything associated with them.

On Flames

I generally abide by a strict "don't like, don't read" policy, and respect other author's work. I never flame other works. However, if I read something that falls beneath my expectations, or is just really bad, I will tell the author so, in no uncertain terms. This may be interpreted by some as a flame, but it's merely a rather harsh criticism. I have a bad habit of being blunt, and this may explain why some of my reviews seem overly pointed. Keep in mind that I mean no ill will to the author. I just tell them exactly what I think of their work. I don't nitpick, mind you. I don't look for things that are wrong. But if something is blatantly wrong, or badly written, or just plain stupid, I will tell you so. So don't bitch at me if I leave a harsh review.

My Canada Rant

When I visited the tropics this holiday break, I ran into a couple Americans on the beach. They were shocked that Canada was not, after all, a giant ice sheet. They actually believed that the country was covered in snow the entire year. So, I'm not pointing fingers, but I would like to clear up some things about Canada that a select group of people from the southern area of a certain country may think.

1. We are not a giant ice sheet. I don't care if we have the lowest average temperature in the world. The only parts of Canada that can even be considered an ice sheet are the far northern territories (Yukon, Northwest Territories and Nunavut). And that's only in the winter.

2. Canada is one of the largest countries in the world, second only to Russia. We have an incredibly large range of climates, landscapes and biospheres. It is not smaller than the States. Oddly enough, American maps generally depict the States as being roughly 20% larger than it actually is. So...that misconception I can understand. That doesn't mean it's forgivable.

3. Our part of Niagara Falls is better than yours. (Nah nah nah nah nah)

4. We live in real homes, not igloos. We drive cars, not dogsleds. And we don't say "Eh" all the time. Americans actually say "Eh" more than we do, usually when making an attempt to imitate Canadians.

5. Our national sport is lacrosse, not hockey. I mean, we like hockey better, but that's beside the point.

6. I don't care what anyone else thinks. Justin Bieber is not Canadian. He may have the citizenship, but I refuse to acknowledge it. Rush, on the other hand...

7. The only people in Canada who have a French accent or speak primarily French are French people, or people from Quebec. We actually have a very neutral accent. Admittedly, people in the Maritimes have a sort of Irish burr, but that's not French. Doesn't count.

8. We're awesome. Period.

So, I trust that cleared up some small issues. I'm not saying all Americans are idiots that believe this. But, some are. We laugh at you.

Disclaimer: If you are one of those idiots who think Canada is an ice sheet, smaller than the States, etc., I mean no offense. This is an informational guide to correct those incorrect assumptions. Have a nice day.

Well, I think I've ranted long enough. You've probably skipped over 90% of it, anyway. In any case, have some stories of varying (and generally quite questionable) quality.