hi. :P

NORMAL PEOPLE: rely on construction people to tear down buildings
DARKEST POWERS FANS: would rather ask Chloe to release a demi-demon

NORMAL PEOPLE: say OMG!
DARKEST POWERS FANS: say OH MY DEREK!! (OMD)

NORMAL PEOPLE: go to a psychiatrist to tell their feelings
DARKEST POWERS FANS: go to Simon

NORMAL PEOPLE: say shut up or i'll tell on you!
DARKEST POWERS FANS: say shut up or i'll get Dr. Davidoff to terminate you

NORMAL PEOPLE: think that werewolves are half-wolf half-human freaks
DARKEST POWERS: know A LOT better and know to go outside right away when they see/hear a stranger vomiting in the bushes

NORMAL PEOPLE: when being chased yell HELP ME SOMEBODY!
DARKEST POWERS FANS: when being chased yell DEREK SAVE ME!!

NORMAL PEOPLE: get nervous/scared during thunderstorms
DARKEST POWERS FANS: know that somewhere Derek is just yelling at Chloe

NORMAL PEOPLE: would choose somewhere sunny to go for vacation
DARKEST POWERS FANS: would go directly to BUFFALO NEW YORK

NORMAL PEOPLE:dont have this on there profile
DARKEST POWERS FANS: MUST have this on there profile

Random Funny Quotes:

"Life doesn't pass you by, it runs you over."

"If I had my own world, chickens would be able to cross the road without being questioned."

"If cats could talk, they wouldn't."

Riddles:

If you say my name, I'm broken. What am I?

I am always in the water, but I never get wet. What am I?

I am water, but I can be caught. What am I?

JUSTKEEPSWIMMIN'JUSTKEEPSWIMM:

J-Jazzy

U-Unusual

S-Sensible

T-Talented

K-Kickass

E-Excellent

E-Enthusiastic

P-Proud

S-Shy

W-Worldly

I-Innocent

M-Mischevious

M-Magnificent

I-Intense

N-Nice

J-Judicial

U-Useful

S-Sweet

T-Talented

K-Kinky

E-Energetic

E-Exuberant

P-Practical

S-Sensible

W-Warm

I-Intelligent

M-Mature

M-Mysterious

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ωнσ ωιℓℓ вυrѕт συт ℓαυgнιηg
ιη ∂єα∂ ѕιℓєη¢є
вє¢αυѕє σƒ ѕσмєтнιηg тнαт нαρρєηє∂
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STUPID PRODUCT LABELS:
On Sears hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping (Yeah, that's kind of hard to do, you know, use while sleeping).
On a bag of Fritos: You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside (How fun to be a shoplifter).
On a bar of Dial soap: Directions: Use like regular soap (I never would have guessed).
On some Swann frozen dinners: Serving suggestion: Defrost (Really? Amazingly ingenious).
On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert: (printed on bottom of the box) Do not turn upside down (Too late!).
On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: Product will be hot after heating (Fascinating. You learn something new every day. Like, the people who write this things are FREAKING MORONS!).
On packaging for a Rowenta iron: Do not iron clothes on body (Well, it would save time...).
On Boot's Children's cough medicine: Do not drive car or operate machinery (That is why we have a 15 and over limit where I come from, because of all those toddlers driving around cars and machinery while using Boot's Children's cough medicine).
On Nytol sleep aid: Warning: may cause drowsiness (Wouldn't that be good?).
On a Korean kitchen knife: Warning: keep out of children (Oh. Okay...)
On a string of Christmas lights: For indoor or outdoor use only (And my other options were...).
On a food processor: Not to be used for the other use (Geez, what other use is that? I wonder...).
On Sainsbury's peanuts: Warning: contains nuts (Oh wow. I didn't know that before).
On an Amerian Airlines packet of nuts: Instructions: open packet, eat nuts (Amazing. No one could ever do that without the help of the instructions on this packet. Great).
On a Swedish chainsaw: Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands (I believe that was implied).
On a child's Superman costume: Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly (So you don't want kids jumping off buildings, arms outstretched?).

Repost if you thought this was hilarious.

I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty

uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal

pweor of the hmuan mnid. Aoccdrnig to a

rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't

mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the

olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer

be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl

mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm.

Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed

ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe.

Amzanig huh? Yaeh and I awlyas toghuht slpeling

was ipmorantt! tihs is so cool!

If you could read that put it in your profile!

Boy-or-Girl ... Survey thing (Bold is yes, normal is no.)

Boy Part:

You love hoodies.
You love jeans.
Dogs are better than cats.
It's hilarious when people get hurt.
You've played with/against boys on a team.
Shopping is torture.
Sad movies suck.
You own/ed an X-Box.
Played with Hotwheel cars as a kid.
At some point in time you wanted to be a firefighter.
You own/ed a DS, PS2 or Sega.
You used to be obsessed with Power Rangers
You watch sports on TV.
Gory movies are cool.
You go to your dad for advice.
You own like a trillion baseball caps.
You like going to high school football games.
You used to/do collect football/baseball cards.
Baggy pants are cool to wear.
It's kinda weird to have sleepovers with a bunch of people.
Green, black, red, blue, or silver are one of your favorite colors.
You love to go crazy and not care what people think.
Sports are fun
Talk with food in your mouth.
Sleep with your socks on at night

15/24

Girl Part:

You wear lip gloss/chapstick.
You love to shop.
You wear eyeliner.
You wear the color pink
Go to your mom for advice.
You consider cheerleading a sport.
You hate wearing the color black.
You like hanging out at the mall.
You like getting manicures and/or pedicures.
You like wearing jewelry.
Skirts are a big part of your wardrobe.
Shopping is one of your favorite hobbies.
You don't like the movie Star Wars.
You were/are in gymnastics/dance.
It takes you around/ more one hour to shower, get dressed, and make-up.
You smile a lot more than you should.
You have more than 10 pairs of shoes.
You care about what you look like.
You like wearing dresses when you can.
You like wearing body spray/perfume/cologne.
You love the movies.
Used to play with dolls as little kid.
Like putting make-up on someone else for the joke of it.
Like being the star of everything

5/24

Things To Ponder

Whose cruel idea was it for the word "lisp" to have an "s" in it?

Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office? What are we supposed to do . . . write to these men?

How much deeper would oceans be if sponges didn't live there?

So what's the speed of dark?

How come abbreviated is such a long word?

Why don't you ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery"?

Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?

The dinosaur's extinction wasn't an accident. Barney came and they all committed suicide.

I live in a world full of bunnies and unicorns...but the bunnies are cutting themselves and the unicorns are acting all emo again

I am on a quest to the deepest, darkest corners of my room in search of what some would call "a floor" - a long and difficult task awaits me. Wish me luck my friends for I may not return alive.

My mind works like lightning...one flash and then it's gone.

Whoever said nothing's impossible, they never tried slamming a revolving door!

I understand that Scissors can beat Paper, and I get how Rock can beat Scissors, but there's no way Paper can beat Rock. Is Paper supposed to magically wrap around Rock leaving it immobile? If so, why can't paper do this to scissors? Screw scissors, why can't paper do this to people? Why aren't sheets of college ruled notebook paper constantly suffocating students as they attempt to take notes in class? I'll tell you why, because paper can't beat anybody, a rock would tear that up in two seconds. When I play rock/ paper/ scissors, I always choose rock. Then when somebody claims to have beaten me with their paper I can punch them in the face with my ready made fist and say, 'Oh, I'm sorry. I thought paper would protect you, buttface!'

Do not use an axe to kill a fly on your friends' head.

Do people in England sit around and try to sound like Americans, like we try and have British accents?

Most people are only alive because it is illegal to shoot them.

Oh god! They took my freaking kidney!

Apparently 1 in 5 people in the world are Chinese. And there are five people in my family so it must be one of them. Either it's my mom or my dad. Or my older brother Collin. Or my other brother Ho-Chan-Chu. I think it's Collin..

Somebody needs a Happy Meal...

Please Note: CHRISTMAS IS CANCELED Apparently you told Santa that you have been good this year...he died laughing.

Would you like a cookie? So would I.

You don't have to be faster than the bear, you just have to be faster than the slowest guy running from the bear.

Well the voices and I took a vote. It's unanimous; you suck.

A day without sunshine is like... night.

A rejected invention:Instant water! just add water!

Don't make me mad...I'm known to bite at random!!

I put the 'fun' in 'dysfunctional'.

If you wish on a falling star it might come true... Unless it's a meteor hurdling to earth... Then no wishes come true... Unless your wish was to be killed a meteor hurdling to earth.

America is a free country. Of course, you can't get that freedom until you are eighteen, but that's okay, because when you do turn eighteen, you get a bunch of privlieges, like doing jury duty, paying taxes, and paying off bills...

A stranger will stab you in the back, a friend will stab you in the front, a boyfriend will stab you in the heart, but best friends only poke each other with straws.

Be a loser! Because being cool is so overrated!

I talk back to the TV (often quite loudly)

I have choked on air (or any other substance you thought impossible to choke on)

I think Writer's Block sucks.

I don't care when people make fun of me, but when someone makes fun of my friends I automatically think of numerous, painful ways to kill them.

There's nothing wrong with arguing with yourself. It's when you argue with yourself and LOSE, then it's weird. Actually, I have lost. My mother then posed this question to me, “If you lost, then who won?”

For me, crazy is a loose term. Crazy is when you stare at a pencil and laugh when someone asks you what you are doing that is so interesting about the eraser. Crazy is when you have an hour-long sob fest, and then start singing and dancing when your favorite song comes on. Crazy is when you do or say a completely random thing, like "Do you ever wonder where the eraser bits go?" or have a thumb war with yourself.

I like cheese. I have seen purple cows. If two gooses are geese, then why aren't two moose meese? Milk tastes good.

I hear voices of the characters in my head...

I walk into a room then forget what I'm doing, then start walking away, then remember.

I probably need a life, but I have no intentions of getting one!

You laugh because I'm different. I laugh because you're all the same.

I had my soul removed to make room for sarcasm and I don't regret it.

Practice makes perfect, but nobody's perfect, so why practice?

Stupidity killed the cat. Curiosity was framed.

Don't follow in my footsteps . . . I run into walls... Alot.

If your heart was really broken...you'd be dead so shut up.

People that don't know me think I'm quiet. People that do wish I was.

Sarcasm. It's easier than actually having to deal with stupid people.

Remember what you just said, because tomorrow I am going to have a witty and sarcastic comeback and you'll be devastated then!

I'd rather be hated for who I am than be loved for who I'm not.

My favorite word is sarcasm.

"I know water doesn't bite! What a stupid thing to say! Water doesn't have to bite you! You drown in it you moron!"

It's all fun and games until the other person loses their sanity.

I've got things to break, people to laugh at, objects to drool over and who knows what else.

At the start of your life, you will be awarded a lifetime supply of air. Use it wisely.

I'm not so good at advice. Can I interest you in a sarcastic comment?

When I say LOL I'm not laughing out loud. I just have nothing better to say.

I don't want to rain on your parade, I just want to blow up all the floats!

Before you criticize you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you are a mile away from them and you have their shoes.

"Wal-Mart, do they like, sell walls there?"

When it rains on my party, I bust out the slip n' slide.

I don't obsess! I think intensely.

Why do we teach kids that violence is not the answer and then have them read about wars in school that solved problems?

When angry, count to ten, when very angry, swear.

Education is important. school however, is another matter.

What happens if you get scared half to death twice?

Why do people say, "You can't have your cake and eat it too"? Why would someone get cake if they can't eat it?

Don’t mess with me, I've got a stick.

If you can stay calm when all around you is complete chaos, you probably haven't fully understood the situation.

Two things are infinite; the universe, and human stupidity... not so sure about the universe...

When life gives you lemon, throw them back and tell life to make its own dang lemonade!!

When life gives you lemons, throw it in the trash and tell life you'd rather have money.

1 out of every 4 people are insane. Look at your three best friends, if it's not them, it's you.

There's always a light at the end of the tunnel... of course, it's usually the oncoming train..

The toothfairy teaches kids it's okay to sell body parts.

／l、
（ﾟ､ ｡ ７
l、 ~ヽ
じしf,)ノ

Hey everyone its Crookshanks!!!!! Paste him onto your profile to help keep away Peter Pettigrew!!!!!!!!