IMPORTANT NOTICE!

I published a novel. Please check it out. -

HELLO

Hi, I'm Rhov (rhymes with rose). This is my secondary account, where I hide my Rated M fics that are too bloody, too racy, or too "WTF" for my good-girl account.

I’m a writer, musician, amateur photographer, a wife, a pirate lass, a coffee mad scientist, and I have long hair. Like, really really freaking long hair. I love to do crazy designs with it.

Thanks for stalking me. If you haven’t had your fill, you can join my Facebook fanpage where I drop spoilers about my writing progress, proudly show off my fan art, and give writing tips/advice to help people become better writers. (No, I will not read your fanfic. I’m really sorry, don’t think I’m a bitch, but I get asked this at least once a day. I honestly do not have time.)

Become a Minion! Join my FB fan group. http://www.facebook.com/RhovAnionsMinions

Stalk me online, I don’t care:

AdultFanFiction - /profile.php?no=1296914581
AO3 - /users/Rhov
Blogspot -
DeviantArt -
Facebook - facebook.com/RhovAnionsMinions
Nanowrimo - /en/participants/rhov
*that site where you can be a patron of the arts* - *that site* .com/rhovanion
Tumblr -
Twitter - twitter.com/WildRhov
Wattpad - /user/WildRhov

TRANSLATIONS

• 3AM Fire Alarm - Française, by CheneiChl
• Beastly Possession - русский, Зверское владение, by Darknessa27
• Bob and Gray - Tiếng Việt, Bốp en/và Gờ-rây, by Betum
• Catch the Thunder - Español, Cacha el trueno, by Finwe77
• Cold Rooms and Hot Springs - Française, by Maloriel
• Dangerous Drugs - Française, by Fairymangafan
• Erza's Lesson in How to Write Yaoi - ру́сский язы́к, by Арья Феникс
• Fight Me, Bite Me - Español, by lapinshianonima
• Fight Me, Bite Me - Español, by SandoraIe
• Haute Hotel Haze - 汉语, 高级旅馆的调戏作者, by 夏露吧
• I Leave You, My Pride - Español, Te Dejo, Mi Orgullo, by Lizz Cold 790
• Lion's Pride
— La fierté du Lion - Française, by Meijishi
— French repost by Les Histoires d'Alice
— Lion's Pride PT, Português, by Aninha Cristal
• Older but Wiser, Deutsche, by Hunter
• Panty Possession - Française, by KiiTa56
• The Last Day on Earth - Française, by miss Neko Tenshi
• Wheels of Fire - Italiano, by LoLo92

FANART

Please be warned: FFnet keeps changing their access to links. If these links do not work, please see my Tumblr account. (/tagged/fan-art-for-me) It’s not ALL of them, but it’s a vast collection. I’m trying to figure out the best way to display links to all of these fics and pics in one area.

- Beastly Possession - (spoilers)

• Abomination - by SrngDrgn, a sequel to Beastly Possession
• Beastly Possession gift for authors - by ladymoonstache
• Beastly - colors by felixne
• Bloody Feral Natsu - by SrngDrgn
• Natsu TrollFace Poster - by SrngDrgn
• Say Nothing About HURT - Beasty vocals by Rhov
• Darky imagines how Natsu looks as a Feral (scribble style…omg hilarious!) - by Osensahono
• Darky imagines Feral Natsu (real version) - by Osensahono
• The Night Before Christmas - from feralnatsu, a Christmas special for Beastly Possession
• Feral Natsu - by Zippi44
• Annoyed - for Chapter 31, by SrngDrgn
• I’m Coming - for Chapter 29, by SrngDrgn
• This Scent! - for Chapter 29, by SrngDrgn
• Defiant - for Chapter 29, by SrngDrgn
• Beware The Red-Eyed Beast - for Chapter 27, by Rhov
• Turning Feral - for Chapter 24, by Rhov
• Caged - for Chapter 19, by SrngDrgn
• NaLu - Beastly Possession - for Chapter 16, by SkyWarriorKirby
• Natsu Dragneel’s Transformation - for Chapter 9, by SrngDrgn
• Natsu’s Transformation - Anime Style - for Chapter 9, by SrngDrgn
• Slayer Wants Lucy - for Chapter 8, by SrngDrgn
• Slayer Wants Lucy - Anime Style - for Chapter 8, by SrngDrgn
• Beastly Possession - for Chapter 8, by Rhov
• Tango for Loke and Lucy - for Chapter 7, by Rhov
• Feral Natsu Tumblr Page - Blog made by a fan for “Beastly Possession.”
• Ignisaestas RP - a Tumblr RP for my “Beastly Possession” pseudo-OC, the beast within Natsu.
• Balaur Blackstone RP - a Tumblr RP for my “Beastly Possession” OC, Balaur the Earth Dragon Slayer.
• The Beast Within The Playlist of a Monster - YouTube soundtrack for Beastly Possession by Feral Natsu.

- Catch the Thunder -

• Thor and the Green Angel - by anxious-procrastinating
• Phantom of the Opera Date - by sass-queen-justine
• Phantom Freed - by sass-queen-justine (this may have inspired the entire Phantom of the Opera date scene)
• SecondLife Fetish Club Freed - by theslchatterbox
• Kiss of an Angel - by sass-queen-justine
• Catch the Thunder - by Zelkams-art (excuse me while I go fangirl in the corner)
• South Pole Club - by sass-queen-justine
• Doodle the Thunder - by eryis-creydull
• Sassy Angel (on a trombone) - by sass-queen-justine (not really a scene from the fanfic, but it shows Freed’s club outfit)
• Laxus Vision: Angel Freed - by infinite-atmosphere
• Hello, Pet - by AskFraxus
• Je T'aime - for Chapter 17, by infinite-atmosphere
• Which fork? - by freedthedark
• Did You Request Me? - for Chapter 2, by Laxybutt
• Angel Freed - by Len Hitori De

- Fight Me, Bite Me -

• Blood Fetish Chapter - by ferbooche
• Happy - by XxIceStripperxX (Happy questions “mass-o-kiss”)
• The Heat of Your Hand - Gratsu poem by shuranui
• Fight Herp Bite Derp - by eryis-creydull
• He … popped! - for Chapter 10. Warning: blood, gore!
• Gray x Natsu - by utsukushihana-3 (NSFW!)
• God, You’re Sexy! - for Chapter 17, by Vhazz Rhossze (NSFW!)
• Kink Collage - for multiple chapters, especially 7, 30, and 39, by becauseyourdrawingsarethebest (NSFW!)
• Gratsu texting - based on Chapter 37, by a fan on my Minion’s page
• Gratsu - by Fairy-kun
• Learn Your Place - by Nekoyasha12 (NSFW!)
• Dessert Before Dinner - for Chapter 41, by Nekoyasha12 (NSFW!)
• Gray and Natsu Vacation Tickets - for Chapter 36, by becausewhenyoupractiseyouimprove.
• Natsu Cuffed - for Chapter 3 and cover art, by Rhov
• Gratsu NSFW colored - art by blissful-birdy, colors by Rhov (NSFW!)
• Gratsu NSFW - for Chapter 1, by blissful-birdy (NSFW!)
• Fight Me Bite Me Soundtrack - 8tracks playlist by ravioliravioli.

- Life After Near Death -

• Truth or Dare - by davidsoymemorias.
• Wet Kisses - by fairytailyaoilover, for Life After Near Death.
• Not Strong Enough - AMV from Moonlessnight126 to inspire me while we created LAND.

- Lion’s Pride -

• Luke and Loke in the Hospital - for Chapter 50, by Len Hitori De
• Luke and Asuka - for Chapter 26, by Len Hitori De
• Ephemeral, Eternal - Musical cover sung by YcDanceForLove, for Lion’s Pride. Amazing voice!
• Lion’s Pride - book cover, by AmaiTsukii-chan
• Loke, Lucy, and Luke - family portrait, by Rhov

- Red on Green -

• Chapter One, I’m Taking Him Home - by AskFraxus
• Chapter One, Hand - by infinite-atmosphere
• Chapter Two, Thank You for the Roses - by AskFraxus
• Chapter Three, The Boy - by Freed-n-Friends

- Regrets in the Crying Sky -

• Frozen Tears - by Blissful-Birdy
• Regrets in the Crying Sky - by Blissful-Birdy

- Sparks Are Gonna Fly -

• Laxeel - by Rhov
• Sleep Child - Gajeel’s lullaby, performed by Rhov

- Super Psycho Love -

• SPL Older Gray - by Airyze, for Super Psycho Love
• Super Psycho Love - Moonlessnight126’s AMV upon which Super Psycho Love is based

- Warm, Rough, and Gentle -

• Warm, Rough, and Gentle narration - Aspiring voice actress Sailor Meow Meow narrates my fluffy NaLu story
• Holding Hands - by InfinityAngel92
• Holding Hands - by amy23000

- Wheels of Fire -

• The Lion Roars - Ms KClare performed a gorgeous piano and vocal arrangement of the ballad Lyra sings about Loke’s love for Lucy
• Drive Me Down That Sunset Road - Rose Chan singing Edo-Natsu’s song
• Sunset Road - WolfieANNE sings a charming interpretation of the song “Drive Me Down The Sunset Road”

- Other Fanart for Fanfics -

• Lucy’s Spring - by Rhov, for The Season of Lucy.
• Redraw, The Lion and a Mouse - by becausewhenyoupractiseyouimprove, 2016 birthday present, for The Lion and a Mouse.
• Slutty Natsu - by ferbooche, for Dangerous Drugs.
• Loke as a Lion, Lucy as a Mouse - by becausewhenyoupractiseyouimprove, for The Lion and a Mouse.
• Gratsu Week: Birthday - by graylu232, for Natsu’s New Year’s Birthday.
• Peach of My Eye - vocals only of the song for Peach of My Eye, sung by Rhov
• Taste My Ice Cream - by 0Eka0, for Taste My Ice Cream.
• Natsu Roasting Up a Blazing Fire - Rhov sings karaoke to her Fairy Tail parody for Christmas 2013.
• Blame it on the Alcohol - by Shynii, WIP for Spirit and Blues.
• Juviella - art contest entry of mine that led me to write Juviella.
• Gray and Natsu: yaoi - for Dance Fighting.
• The Stars Sing For You - My LoLu poem put to music and sung by Girl-In-A-Tiger-Kimono. So cute!
• Fairy Tail Podcast used my poem Merry Christmas, Fairy Tail for their 2011 Christmas special. What a great Christmas gift! The narrator has a sexy voice, whoever you are!

GIFT ART and GIFT FICS

• Edo Laxus and Freed - by infinite-atmosphere (I swear to gods, I will write this headcanon one day!)
• Truth or Dare - by davidsoymemorias
• Broken Freed - by infinite-atmosphere
• Beautiful Nightmare - by Moonlessnight126
• Haters Are Ambitious - by the-mundane-dame
• Impossible to Hate - by the-mundane-dame
• Late Birthday Gratsu - by sabyyyyyy
• E2 B5 Fraxus - by sass-queen-justine
• E2 B5 Fraxus - by Laxybutt (yes, I requested the same faces from two artists, and both are awesome)
• Bedroom Eyes - by khaoticvex
• Santa Baby Freed - by sass-queen-justine
• The World is Ours - by handandphil (Gratsu Secret Santa)
• Broken Constellations - by momodrops
• Wild Rhov as Rapunzel - by sass-queen-justine
• Rhov “Draw the Squad” (based on a real photo of me and my best friend) - by sass-queen-justine
• OMG Wat Fraxus - by kippieflippie
• Happy Birthday, Rhov-sensei - a birthday card featuring me hanging out with Gray and Natsu, by fairytailyaoilover
• Birthday 2015 - birthday Gratsu present by davidsoymemorias
• Gratsu Hug - I was feeling down due to harassment for FMBM, so becausewhenyoupractiseyouimprove drew… well, “ME” getting hugs from Gray and Natsu. So sweet! She even drew my insanely long hair and injured wrist. XD
• Fairy Tail Positivity Project made this adorable, inspirational picture for me and cheered me right out of a gloomy day.
• Happy Birthday, Rhov-san, and Thank You - Gratsu birthday gift from becausewhenyoupractiseyouimprove.
• Happy Birthday, Rhov - FMBM-inspired birthday art by Fairy-kun (NSFW!!!)
• The World Is Ours - by hanandphil (Gratsu Secret Santa)
• A Most Beautiful Final Breath - from The Layman.
• Bound - Gajeel/Levy giftfic from Aslan9001.
• Discoveries - by Level X, featuring Gray and Natsu reading MY YAOI FANFICS with some hilarious reactions!
• Difficult Love - from NowImJustSomebodyThat.
• A Present For Loke - Giftfic from AJLovesKakashi, my favorite “Loke on catnip” theme.
• Red-Tailed Hawk - Giftfic from Lady Spritzy. I beta'ed this, and I also apparently inspired it. One Piece, Shanks/Mihawk, Rated M.
• Starry Knight - Stargate: SG1 and Knight Rider 2008 crossover written by my husband. It’s his first attempt at writing a fanfic, so give him your support.

MY OC’S IN OTHER STORIES (always ask for permission; I usually allow it)

• The Pirate and the Prince - by Blue Blast, using my OC, Freed’s mother Liberty Justine from “Catch the Thunder,” for this story about the green-haired swordsman.
• A Lion’s Pride Is Eternal - by PixieJameston, her unofficial sequel to “Lion’s Pride,” featuring future-incarnation OCs of the cast and Lucy and Loke’s child Luke.
• Cheveyo’s Story - by RickyMast, a prequel to “Lion’s Pride” following my OC, the Celestial Spirit Mage Cheveyo.
• Hot Ice - I gifted this plot to a talented write, The Lonely She-Wolf, since I tend to lack the time to write stories that pop into my head. I added this listing here, since technically it uses an OC, although I had very little say in the development of that OC, it’s all The Lonely She-Wolf, and she’s doing a great job. I hope you enjoy her take on it. Fairy Tail, GraLu, Rated M.

POSSIBLE FUTURE STORIES

This is a list of story ideas. I get a lot of plot concepts and requests, way too many to write, but tell me which one appeals to you and maybe I can focus on it.

—— Attack On Titan ——

* Heal My Soul - Modern AU. Eren and Jean grew up as neighbors and best friends, but something changed along the way. Jean became a homophobic bully who made Eren's school life a nightmare. Then one day, Jean is hired in the same office as Eren. At first, it seems like he hasn't changed one bit, until Jean learns why Eren is working himself to exhaustion: he's desperate to raise enough money to help his mother, who is dying of cancer. Jean owes Carla his life for saving him from his abusive father as a child, so he decides to pay back that motherly kindness by helping Eren to save her. This means they both are challenged with overcoming prejudices, forgiving the bitter past, and battling what seems like a doomed future.
* The Rabbit and the Warhorse - a little Armin and Jean fic.
* Where is Your God Now - Levi was never religious, but he could dedicate himself to a Savior… if that savior is Eren.
* He’s Half Your Age - Commander Irvin realizes Eren and Levi are in a relationship and scolds the corporal for seducing a mere teenager. Levi decides to break it off, but Eren has other ideas.
* Let Me Shoulder Your Concerns - After Levi’s team is wiped out, the corporal takes his anger and grief out on Eren, beating him in rage. Instead of fighting back, Eren offers to take charge tonight so Levi doesn’t have to do all the work and can just get his tension released through the only means he knows how: sex.
* Shut Up and Eat - Eren gets violently sick, so Levi cares for him, feeding him soup and staying beside him until Eren falls asleep. Awwwww!
* Chastised - Eren/Levi PWP. Hey, sometimes you don’t need a plot, just smut.

—— Bleach ——

* Size Matters - Request for IchiIshi yaoi. Ishida reads a statistic on the size of “male anatomy” and Ichigo brags that he’s way bigger. Ishida doesn’t believe him, so Ichigo shows him. It goes on from there. PWP.

—— Chuck ——

* Chuck Versus the Kama Sutra - Request from my husband. Married life can be so good when your partner can access every position in every sex book ever written.

—— Fairy Tail ——

* As the World Falls Down - Gratsu collab. Natsu witnesses Gray sacrificing his life in order to save him. How can Natsu possibly go on after realizing just how much Gray cared for him?
* Birthday Tears - LoLu. Birthdays are supposed to be a happy time, but for Loke they are a bitter reminder than Lucy is aging, and one day he’ll lose her forever.
* Black Ice - Rogue and Gray meet in a bar during the Grand Magic Games. It ends in a love hotel. PWP.
* Blue Ice, Blue Pegasus - Gray gets sent 50 years into the past, where he’s saved by a dashing man. After a drunken fling, Gray recognizes this savior: young Master Bob! While Team Makarov helps Gray to return to the present, Gray’s interaction with Bob shapes the future of Blue Pegasus.
* Body Electric - Imagine a yaoi story with Laxus as the uke to Natsu. A very domineering uke! It’s a twist, that’s for sure. POWER BOTTOM!
* Cat’s Pride - An omake to “Lion’s Pride” that I swear I will write one year. Happy takes Carla on a date, but can he really win her heart? He’ll bet his pride on it!
* Dragon Swap - Request. Lucy, Levy, and Mira decide that to better understand their boyfriends, each should spend a day with the three dragon slayers. Later, Romeo comes to the girls asking for advice on how to get Wendy interested in him. Little do they know, Natsu, Gajeel, and Laxus are also being approached by Wendy about how to ask out Romeo, and the advice those three give the little Sky Maiden leads to laughs.
* Erza’s Cure for Lucy’s Blues - GraLu request. Erza decides it’s high time Lucy develops a healthy sex life, and she’s ready to manipulate both Lucy and Gray to do it.
* Father-In-Law - AU. The day has come. Natsu proposed to Lucy, and she accepted. However, Jude Heartfilia is fiercely opposed to this marriage. He’s willing to bribe and even threaten Natsu to make sure the wedding never happens. Igneel, however, might have something to say about that!
* Feelings Untold - Gratsuke collab. Gray and Natsu have a drunken night together. Natsu can’t remember that he actually confessed, and he insists it meant nothing. Depressed, Gray turns to Loke, who easily seduces Gray to take his mind off the dragon slayer. However, seeing Gray with Loke only gets Natsu furiously jealous.
* From Wife to What? - LuLi yuri request. Lisanna was lovers with Edo-Lucy, and now that she’s back in Earthland, she misses her and seeks comfort in Lucy Heartfilia.
* Holy Force of Angels and Demons - AU request. Gray is a nerdy college student who wishes he was like the hot jock Natsu so he could gain the attention of Lucy. A demoness grants his wish, at the sacrifice of his sister Ultear. Jellal is an angel who wants to help Gray save his soul, since Natsu and Lucy are also affected by this red-headed demoness. He joins the secret group Fairy Tail to battle the demoness and get back the people they unwittingly sacrificed.
* Hot Hospital - Two injured mages, one hospital room, one horny dragon slayer, one exhibitionist. This can only be hot.
* How Spirits Came To Be - Brief looks into the past of each Zodiac and how they were placed in the heavens. It’s Greek mythology with a twist.
* I Want You To Stay - GraMi request. Gray might be younger than Mira, but he’s determined to show her his feelings.
* If You Fight One, You Fight Us All - Request. Laxus sees Wendy being bullied by people who hate Fairy Tail, but when he’s ready to step in, she declares that she’s determined to fight her own battles. However, you don’t pick a fight with the baby of the dragon slayer family. “Dragon Slayers are a family, basically like cousins. If you fight one, you fight us all. And you just picked a fight with the youngest in our family.”
* Iron Maiden - Erza and Gajeel are captured, slowly starving and growing weak. Erza must sacrifice the last of her strength Requipping to give Gajeel enough metal to eat so he can get them out. This leaves Erza half naked and too weak to move. Faint Gajza.
* Kitten’s Daddy - Blame it on the catnip, but someone knocked up Carla. The problem is, Happy, Pantherlily, Lector, and Frosch don’t remember what happened that night. It’s the “unknown paternity” story with a kitty twist.
* Let’s Forget Women Tonight - Jellal, Loke, and Gray decide to forget about the girls who are either unattainable, reject them, or are psychotically obsessed. It’s a boys’ night out, too much alcohol, and three really hot men…the rest is just gratuitous yaoi.
* Lion and the Twins - LoLu (?) Lucy realizes Loke is depressed and “cheers him up.” Wait, that’s not Lucy! Gemini??? Would this be considered a threesome?
* Loke’s Christmas Dinner - LoLu PWP. Enough said. I had planned to write it last Christmas and forgot.
* Love Is Too Complicated - Based on some fanart on DeviantArt, it’s Lucy, Natsu, Gray, and Gajeel together. Yay foursomes!
* Queen of Rain - Gruvia, a song-inspired story. When Juvia gets an impurity in her water body that must be killed by being frozen, she realizes love is more than infatuation: it’s utter trust in your partner.
* Rain Coming Down Sideways - Inspired by the Oregon saying, “It’s not really raining unless it’s coming down sideways.” Juvia first sees Gray hugging Lucy, and it rains. Then she sees Gray kissing Lyon, and it pours. When she finds out why he’s doing this, it rains so hard, it comes down sideways.
* Rich, Refined, and Royal - NaLu. Lucy’s father set up an arranged marriage before his death. Lucy is against it until she meets this young, charming baron. The man is perfect in every way, except one: Natsu can’t stand him. How can an uncouth dragon slayer win against a chivalrous noble? Natsu decides it’s time to learn proper manners. God help us!
* Shadow Mate - Rogue/Lucy request. Since everyone is busy and Natsu is sick, Lucy goes on a mission alone only to end up overwhelmed. She’s rescued by Rogue, who also seems to be sick. The problem is, it’s not the flu. It’s mating season.
* Stellar Reversal - What if the cast of Fairy Tail were Celestial Spirits? Natsu as Draco the dragon, Cana as Aquarius with a jug full of sake, Happy as Leo…I’m still trying to figure out roles.
* Ten For Laxus - A challenge to write a massive orgy. It started with Laxus simply wanting to torment Elfman by making him watch Laxus and Mira together. However, Freed’s runes make things get way out of hand as more and more people get caught in the trap. Who better to handle ten people at once than Laxus! This has everything: hetero, yaoi, yuri, incest… (P.S. - Writing orgies is really hard!)
* That Vision in My Head - GraLuCa. Ever since Tenrou Island, Gray has been haunted by the sight of Cana grabbing Lucy’s bosom. Now when he sees his blond teammate, he wants that again. Not to grab her breasts himself, but to watch Cana and Lucy. A drunken night might just fulfill his naughty fantasy.
* Your Fruit - Natsu heard the FT boys talking about women’s boobs like fruit, so he wonders…what’s Lucy’s “fruit” like?

—— Hetalia ——

* An American Abortion - America loves all his children. He never thought he’d need an abortion. The story of the State that never had a chance at life: the State of Jefferson.
* Rebel - It’s Civil War in America. The young nation faces the worst enemy ever: himself! Brothers, twins, the same America yet different: this war literally tore him in half.

—— Love So Life ——

* Break In - Based on a true story of my babysitting days. Shiharu takes the twins to the park, but when they return to Seiji’s house, the door is wide open and a picture frame has been shattered in the entryway. Shiharu is ready to run to the neighbors to call for help when Aoi dashes inside the house, eager to catch the burglar. She’s faced with the terror of entering a home that might have a robber inside, or leaving the poor toddler to face an enemy alone.

—— One Piece ——

* A Doctor’s Touch - Since joining the Straw Hats, Law keeps trying to get Luffy alone. His flirtatious actions piss off Zoro, which is precisely what the shichibukai wants. ZoLaw. I’m totally fangirling over Law lately.
* Bound By Blades - Mihawk and Zoro training time yaoi. Because really, I can’t get enough of these two!
* I’ll Show You Hell - Finally, the Straw Hats can relax and talk about their two years. When they learn about Sanji and the okama, Zoro can’t stop teasing him about it. Sanji decides to show Zoro what sort of hell he enduring. Zoro just might have a fetish for Sanji wearing makeup.
* Shanghaied - All Zoro wanted was to go to a pub and get drunk. Instead, he is abducted by Shanks and Mihawk. What could a yonko and shichibukai possibly want with the (hot) swordsman?
* Sixty Sunrises - Sanji had been hiding a lot from the crew, but it’s time to give them the news. He has two months to live. Faced with mortality and breaking apart emotionally as his body slowly fails, he falls into the arms of the man who has always annoyed him the most. Zoro can’t promise much in their limited time, but he can promise to search for a cure, care for him in his last days, and watch the sunrise with Sanji.
* Why Don’t You Stay - In the future, Zoro married Robin, yet he keeps having an affair with Sanji. The cook wants Zoro to stay with him, knowing he’s unsatisfied with his marriage. However, Zoro keeps leaving back to Robin, and Sanji is getting sick of being played.

—— Star Trek ——

* Time Flies - Voyager ends up in the past. They stop a madman from stealing a Navy ship…something that was supposed to happen. Now the killer is almost dead, and the Doctor needs to save him so he can go on a murder spree and put time back on track. This was actually my very first fanfic, written before this site existed. I’d post it, but … it sucks. I really need to rework this.

Name: Rhov. It's a nickname I've gone by for over 20 years.
Age: somewhere over 30
Gender: Cis-female
Orientation: Heteroqueer and panromantic.
Ethnicity: All-American Mixed. Irish, Welsh, Dutch, Cherokee, Choctaw…
Location: Oregon, where it always rains … always…
Horoscope: Leo and a Goat/Sheep, which totally contradict each other. Proud and a leader, yet shy and dependent. No wonder I’m messed up!

Relationships: Married, no kids, a cat.
Occupation: Image and Media Director, author of medieval fantasy novels, musician, I occasionally do modeling.
Language: American English. I also know a little Spanish, Italian, French, German, and I picked up some Yiddish from my in-laws.
Physique: Tallest girl among my friends, a bit overweight but I hide it well, palest kid in my multiracial family, gray-blue eyes, wavy dark hair past my knees … yes, insanely long and I love it, don’t tell me to cut it!
Personality: Intensely shy in real life, flamboyant online. Stubborn for things I feel strongly about, be it socio-economic issues or what I want for dinner; otherwise, I’m laid back.

Hobbies: Writing, playing trombone, hair braiding, sailing, hiking, photography, coin collecting, genealogy, dressing up for Renaissance Faire and pirate festivals.
Likes: Music, manga, rain, cats, mythology, Italian food, stout beer, coffee, and all-you-can-eat shrimp night.
Dislikes: Spiders, balloons, and swimming with fish. I have phobias to them. Also centipedes, cigarettes, and IPA beer.
Strength: I’m a sponge; I learn things quickly. I also absorb writing styles. If I’m reading Robert Jordan, I begin to write like Robert Jordan. If I’m reading a god-awful writer, I start to write crap. Because of this, I don’t read many fanfics. No offense.
Weakness: Electricity! I kill wristwatches in a week, my cellphone drains itself in under a day, I tend to zap out laptops, I frequently get electrocuted badly enough to make my arm go numb, and lightning tries to strike me. It hasn’t yet, although my car was hit, and my dad got struck twice.
Talent: I have a natural talent for learning musical instruments. I play trombone, French horn, trumpet, euphonium, tuba, tenor bugle, mellophone, flute, piccolo, clarinet, tenor saxophone, piano, acoustic and electric guitar, recorder, harmonica, accordion, marimba, timpani, orchestral chimes, and various percussion instruments. I love trombone best.
Ineptitude: I suck at public speaking. I have agoraphobia as well as severe social anxiety, so when I have to talk in front of a group, even just a small gathering, there’s a good chance I’ll vomit or faint … hopefully not both.

Favorite Band/Artist: Audiomachine, Two Steps From Hell, Tarja Turunen, Evanescence, Within Temptation, Sigur Rós, Enya, Loreena McKennett, Danny Elfman, Pink Floyd, Glenn Miller…
Favorite Types of Music: production music, symphonic metal, post-rock/grunge, New Age, Celtic, classical, Neo-Romantic, ambient, soundtracks (I adore Danny Elfman), hard rock, prog rock, grunge, New Wave, jazz, and classic rock-n-roll.
Favorite Writer: J.K. Rowling is my idol as a woman writer. I’m also a huge fan of JRR Tolkien, Robert Jordan, George R.R. Martin, Tom Robbins, Frank Herbert, Heinlein, Jane Austin, and of course Shakespeare.
Favorite Stories: Classics: Hamlet, Persuasion, The Scarlet Pimpernel, Les Misérables, Little Women. Modern: Shibumi, A Personal Matter, Jitterbug Perfume, Sarum, Rosencrantz and Guildenstern Are Dead. Sci-fi: Dune, Ender’s Game, Starship Troopers, Journey to the Center of the Earth, anything by Heinlein. Fantasy: The Mists of Avalon, Lord of the Rings, The Silmarillion, Windrose Chronicles, the Wheel of Time series. Children’s Books: Bridge to Terebithia, Kate’s Book, A Wrinkle in Time, The True Confessions of Charlotte Doyle, Harry Potter series. Graphic Novel: A History of Violence. Manga: Fairy Tail, Edens Zero, Black Butler, Attack On Titan, Berserk…okay, that’s the top five. So many! Webcomics: Drowtales, Questionable Content, Siren's Lament, Wilde Life, Girl Genius: top 5 in that order.

My Dream: To make enough money as a writer to buy a house and let my husband live comfortably.
My Treasure: My 1951 Olds Super tenor trombone. It’s “my baby.”
My Inspiration: My muse Ceridwen (or Kerry) is fed on mochas and the essence of trees. Anything too wild is her fault!
My Philosophy: Write what you know. It’s cliché, but it’s true. There are brilliant stories waiting inside of you. If you don’t personally know about something you wish to write about, seek it out. A writer cannot sit in an attic and turn out a masterpiece. Don’t be afraid to step into the noisy cantina filled with bizarre creatures. Seek the underbelly of society so you can have your readers experience it. Walk into a forest and listen to the voices of the trees if you want your reader to believe in fairies. A writer creates a world based on their own world. Be loved if your characters must experience love. Accept rejection if your character faces heartache. Suffer pain if you wish to write about the agony of the heart and flesh. Know pleasure if you want to describe a night of passion. Fast for three days if a character must experience starvation. Writers are saints. Writers are whores. Writers are demons. Writers are gods. Writers must be everything.

10 RANDOM FACTS

1. My hair is past my knees.
2. I’m utterly terrified of balloons.
3. I have epilepsy and have sworn that 10% of any money I make as an author will go to epilepsy research.
4. I’m allergic to dogs.
5. I went to high school with a famous porn star.
6. I began playing trombone in 1992.
7. I once had a TV role acting in my underwear. The whole nation got to see me playing John Philip Sousa on the trombone in a baby blue bra. I will never do that again!
8. I’m naturally left-handed but learned to write right-handed due to a superstitious teacher.
9. I have dyslexia (ABC looks like BCA), dyscalculia (123 looks like 312), and sound-color synesthesia (I “hear colors and see sounds”). My world is an interesting, mixed up place.
10. I have OCD and an obsession with round numbers. All of my stories’ word-counts, even individual chapters, land on either 5’s or 10’s. I’m giddy when they land on 100’s.

MY WRITING HISTORY

—— People have asked how I got into writing. This is the boring story about how I took up the pen.

Once upon a time, I couldn’t read. I don’t mean when I was 2. I mean when I was 9 years old. I have dyslexia, so the letters in words shift around. I kept hearing that it was a “learning disability.” Disable meant I wasn’t able, right? So if I’m not able to learn, why try? That was the mentality of the schools who passed me on grade after grade without a care, and it became my mentality. I insisted I didn’t need to learn how to read in order to get a job, and I’d argue with people, listing jobs I could do that didn’t require a reading skill.

However, there’s a twist to this sad and common tale. I loved inventing stories. Between the ages of 4-8, I drew pictures to remind myself of scenes, and then I’d put on plays for my family, using Barbie dolls and action figures for the characters, as I followed the drawn “script” and recited impromptu dialogue in various voices for each character. Luckily, I matured away from She-Ra Versus the Evil Overlord T'Dee Baire. (Yes, my teddy bear was evil, and the plush Ewok was his minion!) I drew story panels for what I hoped would be a TV dragon cartoon; it later became the basis for a novel I’m still writing.

At the age of 9, a teacher finally came along who gave a damn. I have a well-developed stubborn streak that gets me into trouble, and this teacher used that to push me into learning how to properly read. He told me that what I had wasn’t a “learning disability,” but a learning challenge. I could either surrender and give up, or accept the challenge and fight.

I decided to fight! Forget disabilities! I was not going to be a “special student” ever again! I was going to learn how to read, dammit! I wanted to tell all those stories collecting in my head, and that meant overcoming the dyslexic letter shuffle, even if it meant slowing down, forcing myself to spell properly, and patiently waiting until I could see the words correctly. The first novel I attempted to read on my own was Little Women. It took me a whole school year, but I did it. When I read how Jo became a writer, I knew right then, that was what I wanted to do with my life.

I didn’t just overcome dyslexia. I kicked its ass! I got out of those uncaring remedial reading classes, and once I mastered the dyslexia problem, I flew through my courses. By 7th grade, I was in Honors English. When I was 11, I asked my teacher if she thought a kid could write a novel. She assured me, it had been done before, and someone with enough passion could do it. So, I began to write my first full-length novel, which would take me another seven years to complete. It sucked. Really, it did. But it was a start.

I kept writing smaller stories and poems. I published my first poem at age 11 and was featured in the anthology Best Poets of the ‘90s when I was only 13. I entered writing contests throughout middle school and high school, winning cash prizes. For one short story contest, I won a trip to the U.S. Capitol. In college, I majored in English and Music with a focus on creative writing and music theory. Today, I have made a career out of this “disability.” Take that, dyslexia! I admit, it’s still an immense daily challenge, but I won’t let those mixed-up letters stop me.

I wanted to give back, though. I pushed myself to learn how to read and write despite my “learning challenge,” but some people never had a teacher to instill that sort of drive. In high school, I volunteered as a teacher’s assistant for an English-As-A-Second-Language class for learning-impaired Hispanics, helping them not only to learn English, but to fight dyslexia, ADHD, and other learning challenges. While in college, I tutored home-schoolers, many of them with medical conditions and learning challenges, teaching them English, Spanish, history, science, music, and photography.

Over the years, I have been an e-zine editor, done written content for websites (including a politician, music bands, small businesses, and non-profit organizations) and I worked as a transcriptionist. Today, I am a Media Director and Publicity Liaison. I have published two novels, and yet I still love to write fanfics as a way to get those creative juices flowing.

“She is the Titania of Fairy Tail fanfiction.”
“You are sublimely evil and tremendously twisted, dear author… And I LOVE it.”
“You are the devil’s food cake of fanfiction: evil, but addicting and sweet.”
“This is a sinful work of art.”
“When I first read one of your fics, heaven exploded and dropped into my mind.”
“Sick. Sick. Tight as hell. Most biznasty radical ass fic I EVER did see. Gnarly, brah.”