Author has written 5 stories for Pet Shop of Horrors, Tales of Symphonia, Harvest Moon, and Fallout. Hello, thanks for reading my profile. Hope you take a look at my stuff and that you enjoy it. Thats what its for.If you have ever read my stoy Blanket, I ask you to please reread it now that I have fixed the spacing of the words ...leaving a reveiw would be nice as well... If anyone wants to contibute to my quote list just send me a email with the quote...thanks for stoping by. Obedintly yours, BlackMoon13 "Please explain the scientific nature of 'The Whammy'" "If, by my life or death, I can protect you, I swear I will." "There are always two roads in life; two choices. One is easy. And it's only reward is that it is easy." "When you eliminate the impossible, whatever remains, however improbable, must be the truth." "I shall call it 'Squishie,' and it shall be mine and it shall be my squishie!!" "In Times of trouble, you will remember not the words of your enemeys, but the silence of your freinds." "Hang on to your diepies, babies!" "Help, Help, I'm being Repressed!!" "Everyone needs something to believe in. I believe I will have another piece of Chocolate." "Never Underestimate the power of Stupid People in Large Numbers! "Duct Tape may hold the world together, but Nitro Glyceryn will solve all the worlds problems!" "No Shit, Sherlock!" "If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that proves you tried!" "Chess Life... isn't that redundant?" "I have wrought my simple plan/ If I give one hour of joy/ To the boy who's half a man/ Or the man who's half a boy." "The great tragedy of science - the slaying of a beautiful hypothosis by an ugly fact" "The battle of the sexes will never be won. Too much fraternizing with the enemy." "If all else fails, hit it with a stick." "Beware the Fury of a Patent Man" "To the world, you are just one person. But to one person, you are the world." There is no magical alternative to an Uzi. No protection from it, either. "I used to rule the world. I was a God's God. I existed on Seven Planes of Being at Once. Now, I am on a rooftop, with a man who drinks too much whiskey and calls me a smurf." When I die, I want to die like my grandfather who died peacefully in his sleep. Not screaming like all the passengers in his car. Build a man a fire and he'll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life. Being born is like being kidnapped. And then sold into slavery. Ah, the Cleverness of Me! Karate is a form of martial arts in which people who have had years and years of training can, using only their hands and feet, make some of the worst movies in the history of the world. The hypothalamus is one of the most important parts of the brain, involved in many kinds of motivation, among other functions. The hypothalamus controls the "Four F's": 1.fighting; What is a committee? A group of the unwilling, picked from the unfit, to do the unnecessary. I am not a vegetarian because I love animals; I am a vegetarian because I hate plants. "Very funny, Scotty. Now beam down my clothes." Life may have no meaning. Or even worse, it may have a meaning of which I disapprove. Based on what you know about him in history books, what do you think Abraham Lincoln would be doing if he were alive today? Only the wisest and the stupidest of men never change. Do not follow where the path may lead. Go instead where there is no path and leave a trail. Without order nothing can exist - without chaos nothing can evolve. Nature abhors a hero. For one thing, he violates the law of conservation of energy. For another, how can it be the survival of the fittest when the fittest keeps putting himself in situations where he is most likely to be creamed? Conquest is easy. Control is not. History tends to exaggerate. Men of peace usually are brave. There's no honorable way to kill, no gentle way to destroy. There is nothing good in war. Except its ending. "Better to light a candle than to curse the darkness." "Beauty is only skin deep, and the world is full of thin skinned people." "If you have an important point to make, don't try to be subtle or clever. Use a pile driver. Hit the point once. Then come back and hit it again. Then hit it a third time -- a tremendous whack." "And the Lord spoke, saying, "First shalt thou take out the Holy Pin. Then, shalt thou count to three. No more. No less. Three shalt be the number thou shalt count, and the number of the counting shall be three. Four shalt thou not count, nor either count thou two, excepting that thou then proceed to three. Five is right out. Once the number three, being the third number, be reached, then, lobbest thou thy Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch towards thy foe, who, being naughty in My sight, shall snuff it." I find your lack of faith disturbing. Is that a gun in your pocket, or are you just glad to see me? "Three Rings for the Elven-kings under the sky, One Ring to rule them all, Do not meddle in the affairs of dragons, for you are crunchy and taste good with ketchup. "I have seen the universe yawning A truly wise man never plays leapfrog with a unicorn. "Still round the corner there may wait, a new road or a secret gate." Blood is thicker than water, and much tastier. "The Lords of Chaos are I am the angel of death. The time of purification is at hand. EASY TO INSTALL = Difficult to install, but instruction manual has pictures. Basically, Doom is a (violent) 3D arcade game where you run around in a maze and kill things with shotguns and chainsaws... After you get tired of killing things, you can run it over a network and kill things together with your friends. After you get tired of that, you can kill your friends. The dumber people think you are, the more surprised they're going to be when you kill them. If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments. Take your dying with some seriousness, however. Laughing on the way to your execution is not generally understood by less advanced life forms, and they'll call you crazy. What we know is not much. What we don't know is enormous. Oh Lord, forgive the misprints! Don't disarrange my circles! The grass is always greener on the other side -- but that's because they use more manure. In order for something to become clean, something else must become dirty; but you can get everything dirty without getting anything clean. When your cat has fallen asleep on your lap and looks utterly content and adorable, you will suddenly have to go to the bathroom. No matter how great your triumphs or how tragic your defeats -- approximately one billion Chinese couldn't care less. It is impossible to make anything foolproof because fools are so ingenius. - _; he he he... The other line always moves faster. After all is said and done, a hell lot of a lot more is said than done. People who claim they don't let little things bother them have never slept in a room with a single mosquito. The older a man gets, the farther he had to walk to school as a boy. Confucius say too much. He who trains his tongue to quote the learned sages, will be known far and wide as a smart ass. It is generally agreed that "Hello" is an appropriate greeting because if you entered a room and said "Goodbye," it could confuse a lot of people. Most legislators are so dumb that they couldn't pour piss out of a boot if the instructions were printed on the heel. Never settle with words what you can accomplish with a flame thrower. Q: How many existentialists does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Slogan of 105.9, the classic rock radio station in Chicago: "Of all the radio stations in Chicago... we're one of them." Americans never recognize an idea unless it has white wings or a forked tail. The Lord's Prayer is 66 words, the Gettysburg Address is 286 words, there are 1,322 words in the Declaration of Independence, but government regulations on the sale of cabbage total 26,911 words. "Man had always assumed that he was more intelligent than dolphins because he had achieved so much... the wheel, New York, wars, and so on, whilst all the dolphins had ever done was muck about in the water having a good time. But conversely the dolphins believed themselves to be more intelligent than man for precisely the same reasons." "The major difference between a thing that might go wrong and a thing that cannot possibly go wrong is that when a thing that cannot possibly go wrong goes wrong it usually turns out to be impossible to get at or repair." Heaven is where the police are British, the cooks are French, the mechanics German, the lovers Italian and it's all organised by the Swiss. If you can not answer a man's argument, all it not lost; you can still call him vile names. "Time's fun when you're having flies." You can't expect to wield supreme executive power just because some watery tart threw a sword at you! The New England Journal of Medicine reports that 9 out of 10 doctors agree that 1 out of 10 doctors is an idiot. Beam me up, Scotty. No intelligent life forms down here. A fool-proof method for sculpting an elephant: first, get a huge block of marble; then you chip away everything that doesn't look like an elephant. From the moment I picked your book up until I put it down I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I intend reading it. "Of course you found it in the last place you looked. If you hadn't found it you'd still be looking" Stress: when you wake up screaming only to realize that you weren't asleep It is now beyond any doubt that cigarettes are the biggest cause of statistics! "I wish there was a knob on the TV to turn up the intelligence. There's a knob called 'brightness,' but it doesn't work." Now, normally I don't mind vegetarians, but I really hate it when they get all superior and preachy about the evils of eating meat. Once I was on a date with this girl and she was a vegetarian, and she started on my about the steak I was eating. So I looked at her and said, "If you want to only eat vegetables, that's fine with me, but the way I see it, this cow used to be a vegetarian, and look how things turned out for him." Harlan Williams I stayed up all night playing poker with tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died. Why doesn't the fattest man in the world become a hockey goalie? You see, wire telegraph is a kind of a very, very long cat. You pull his tail in New York and his head is meowing in Los Angeles. Do you understand this? And radio operates exactly the same way: you send signals here, they receive them there. The only difference is that there is no cat. Lady Nancy Astor, Viscountess: "If you were my husband, Winston, I should flavour your coffee with poison." I won't have a battle of wits with an unarmed opponent. I'd like to take advantage of this early opportunity to wish all of you an enjoyable Christmas season and a happy New Year filled with good fortune. Of course I realize this can't happen for everyone. Some of you are going to die next year, and others will be crippled and maimed in accidents, perhaps even completely paralyzed. Still others will be stricken with diseases that can't be cured, or will be horribly scarred in fires. And lets not forget the robberies and rapes - there'll be lots of them. Therefore many of you will not be able to enjoy the happy and fortunate New Year I'm wishing for you. So just try and do the best you can. George Carlin In a Russian tragedy, everybody dies. In a Russian comedy, everybody dies too...but they die happy. You can't run from death forever... but you can make the bastard work for it The Bible and several other self help or enlightenment books cite the Seven Deadly Sins. They are: pride, greed, lust, envy, wrath, sloth, and gluttony. That pretty much covers everything that we do, that is sinful... or fun for that matter. Dave Mustaine Jesus said, come forth and recieve eternal life. I came in third and won a toaster Your oratorical sonorities are too pleonastic to be expeditiously assimilated. OR: 'Too many big words make it hard for people to easily understand you.' Anonymous I am returning this otherwise good typing paper to you because someone has printed gibberish all over it and put your name at the top. "Anyone who is capable of getting themselves made President should on no account be allowed to do the job." The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think. "The History of every major Galactic Civilization tends to pass through three distinct and recognizable phases, those of Survival, Inquiry and Sophistication, otherwise known as the How, Why and Where phases. For instance, the first phase is characterized by the question 'How can we eat?' the second by the question 'Why do we eat?' and the third by the question 'Where shall we have lunch?'" They say that drinking kills brain cells, but the way I figure it is that it's like a lion chasing a herd of buffalo. It will only kill the slowest ones first. Norm Petersen "Far out in the uncharted backwaters of the unfashionable end of the Western Spiral arm of the Galaxy lies a small unregarded yellow sun. Orbiting this at a distance of roughly ninety-eight million miles is an utterly insignificant little blue-green planet whose ape-descended life forms are so amazingly primitive that they still think digital watches are a pretty neat idea..." "You know, it's at times like this when I'm stuck in a Vogon airlock with a man from Betelgeuse, and about to die of asphyxiation in deep space, that I really wish I'd listened to what my mother told me when I was young." "Why, what did she say?" "I don't know, I didn't listen." "I am the bubble gum that sticks in your hair!" I reserve my right to hate you, not because of your skin color or culture, but because you are an idiot. Mike Hutchison "Flying is simple. You just throw yourself at the ground and miss." NASA spent 8 years and $12 billion developing a pen that could write in space. It needed to be able to work in zero gravity, at a range of temperatures, and be able to write on any surface. The Russians used a pencil Diplomacy is telling someone to "Go to Hell" in such a way, they look forward to taking the trip. Model UN Motto "The first thing to realize about parallel universes... is that they are not parallel. It is also important to realize that they are not, strictly speaking, universes either, but it is easiest if you don't try to realize it until a little later, after you've realized that everything you've realized up to that moment is not true." "Your chances of getting hit by lightning go up if you stand under a tree, shake your fist at the sky and say "Storms suck!". He who laughs last thinks slowest. Why is "abbreviation" such a long word? SMITE ME OH MIGHTY SMITER!!!!- My fav. line from the movie I don't have a solution but I admire the problem. – Ill try saying this to my math teacher A penny saved is ridiculous. Time flies when you're in a coma Ambition is a poor excuse for not having enough sense to be lazy. "We pray for MacArthur's erection." Don't follow in my footsteps for I walk into walls. Brittany Buzbee I have tried to see things from your point of view, but no matter how hard I try, or what I do, I just can't get my head that far up my ass. Salvador Ortiz "Don't hate yourself in the morning - sleep till noon." "Today is the first day of the rest of your life celebrate...now!" Humanity is falling in a downward spiral towards a cesspool of ignorance and simplicity. Bring your floaties. "It's me and you against the world. So when do we attack?" "That young girl is one of the least benightedly unintelligent organic life forms it has been my profound lack of pleasure not to be able to avoid meeting" THERE'S NO JUSTICE. THERE'S ONLY ME. "With a rubber duck, one's never alone." It's not that life is so short, it's just that your dead for so long It's unfair to say that men spend their entire lives in pursuit of sex. That's simply not the case. We do, after all, have to eat. Bobo The Red How boring is life in the Antarctic? People in one group wintering at the South Pole in the 1960s watched the film "Cat Ballou" 87 times. People in another, after tiring of the westerns, Disney features and pornographic films on hand, spliced the movies together into their own production and adopted a vocabulary based on their creation that was so strange that relief crews arriving in the spring could barely understand them. "If You Only Knew The Power Of The Darkside... You are not thinking. You are merely being logical. The biggest argument I have with my friend is which one of us is going to rule Hell when we die. Should I worry that we argue this or that we always end up conceding that I will? Logan Geoffrion "Computers in the future may weigh no more than 1.5 tons." "If Darwin's theory of evolution was correct, cats would be able to operate a can opener by now." I became insane, with long intervals of horrible sanity. Edgar Allen Poe I thought there was light at the end of the tunnel, but it was some bastard with a torch carrying more work. Anyone who uses the phrase "easy as taking candy from a baby" has never tried taking candy from a baby. The great film comedian, Charlie Chaplin, once entered a Charlie Chaplin look-a-like contest for a laugh. To his surprise he did not win. I hated going to weddings. All the grandmas would poke me saying "You're next." They stopped that when I started doing it to them at funerals Everyone likes to think that in the past everything was so quaint, so charming. Neighbors knew each other. Kids didn't have sex. It's a freakin' fairy-tale. Life sucked then, too. It just sucked without indoor plumbing. Gilmore Girls television series "Don't ask me questions before eight in the morning, particularly silly ones. I'm grumpy then, and I'll probably make fun of you." - Mr. Churchill, you're drunk! I got a dog and named him "Stay". Now, I go "Come here, Stay!". After a while, the dog went insane and wouldn't move at all. Suicide hotline, please hold... (sadly, this happened to my friends Aunt...) If you place a frog in boiling water, it will jump right back out. But if you put the frog in cold water and heat it gradually, it will sit there and slowly roast alive. -My Science Teacher...yes...she really said this... On the other hand, you have different fingers. There are no stupid questions, just stupid people. Love is a perky elf dancing a merry little jig and then suddenly he turns on you with a miniature machine gun. Matt Groening 'Teenagers are not children. They are, quite simply, Satan's minions, set upon this earth to devise new methods with which they may drive those misguided enough to choose the teaching profession into an early grave.' Be kind to your children. They choose your nursing home. "Of course, what happened last week is a complete secret. So, naturally, the entire school knows." "O, what men dare do! What men may do! What men daily do, not knowing what they do!" “Each of us, in the journey through mortality, will travel his own Jericho Road. What will be your experience? What will be mine? Will I fail to notice him who has fallen among thieves and requires my help? Will you? Will I be one who sees the injured and hears his plea, yet crosses to the other side? Will you? Or will I be one who sees, who hears, who pauses, and who helps? Will you?” "What you need is sustained outrage… there's too much unthinking respect given to authority." “Stop all the clocks, cut off the telephone, Hope is not the conviction that something will turn out well, but the certainty that something makes sense regardless of how it turns out." "Everywhere in these days people have, in their mockery, ceased to understand that the true security is to be found in social solidarity rather than in isolated individual effort. But this terrible state of affairs must inevitably have an end, and all will suddenly understand how unnaturally they are separated from one another. It will be the spirit of the time, and people will marvel that they have sat so long in darkness without seeing the light... But, until then, we must keep the banner flying. Sometimes even if he has to do it alone, and his conduct seems to be crazy, a man must set an example, and so draw other souls out of their solitude, and spur them to some act of brotherly love, that the great idea may not die." “An old man, going a lone highway, The old man crossed in the twilight dim; "Old man," said a fellow pilgrim, near, The builder lifted his old gray head: This chasm, that has been naught to me, "In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life. It goes on." Robert Frost "For a crowd is not company; and faces are but a gallery of pictures; and talk but a tinkling cymbal, where there is no love. " Francis Bacon "Everyone walks a weary path. Yours is destinied to unravel into threads and who knows where those threads will lead? " "I don't want to be dead but all beautiful colors bleed to red." Anonymus "Absolute silence leads to sadness. It is the image of death." Jean Jacques Rousseau "There can be no real freedom without the freedom to fail." Eric Hoffer "The end is never as satisfying as the journey." Anonymus. Marriage...the number one cause of divorce. – t-shirt I reject your reality and submit my own!!!!!!! – Myth Busters |
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