Fishturbinehide bio
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Author has written 6 stories for Harry Potter. I'm a 42 year old Canadian guy with an unhealthy addiction to Harry Potter fan fiction. After 8 years of lurking I've decided to try my hand at it. Things I like. Off the wall crack fics, though I don't think I could write one. Weird crossovers. HP/ sons of anarchy, if I could ever dream up a plot I'd write it. Believable AU's. And occasionally super powerful Harry eg. Bobmin356. I hate slash, femHarry, Hermione/Draco/Snape ect. Snape was a scumbag. Even the idea of his redemption makes me seriously question jkr's morals. Especially after the books glossed over all of the abuse. I hated Draco Malfoy even more than Snape. The fact that he's somewhat redeemed in cursed child has kept me from reading that travesty. Hermione Granger. Authority worshipping know it all. She works in the books but I know people like her and hate every last one of them. Ron is the 'light sides' Draco Malfoy. Nuff said. For as much as I dislike Hermione and Ron. The thought of them married angers me. Unfinished stories annoy me. Unless I drop dead I'll always finish mine. You might not like the ending but there will be one. All my writing is on hiatus August sometime. Working 12-15 hour days means that most of my down time is for sleep. |
Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .
Ghost of Privet Drive by AndrewWolfe reviews
"Fix it" said the Fates. "Fix what? With what tools and skills?" I asked. Being dead was only the first of the obstacles. And then I found myself in an understairs cupboard listening to a little boy quietly sobbing. Oh. Fix THAT. In which a sarcastic old git is dropped into the awful childhood of Harry Potter. SI-ish. Rated M for foul language and canon-level abuse.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Adventure/Humor - Chapters: 26 - Words: 243,068 - Reviews: 453 - Favs: 1,344 - Follows: 1,802 - Updated: 7/31 - Published: 11/19/2019 - Harry P., Petunia D., Vernon D., OC
Too Many Champions by maschl reviews
Harry and Hermione decide to help Fred and George to enter their names into the Goblet of Fire. Then, they enter some more names. Chaos ensues... A story that combines humour, logic, canon concepts, and some unique plot bunnies into a 4th-year tale that's hopefully different. COMPLETE
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor/Adventure - Chapters: 13 - Words: 83,314 - Reviews: 579 - Favs: 1,573 - Follows: 1,550 - Updated: 5/23 - Published: 1/24 - [Harry P., Hermione G.] - Complete
Second World: Deadman's Hand by Deadlandmarshal reviews
Harry is entering into a new phase of his life, now all bets are off! Who will be left holding the Deadman's Hand? Edited by the mighty Pazed!
Crossover - James Bond & Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Adventure/Suspense - Chapters: 47 - Words: 101,971 - Reviews: 230 - Favs: 438 - Follows: 598 - Updated: 2/4/2019 - Published: 9/19/2015
Who Will Fill a Coward's Grave? by RobSt reviews
A certain Miss Granger takes steps to ensure she can contact her best friend during the summer holidays. After the disaster of the Triwizard tournament, she believes Harry shouldn't be left alone - no matter what Dumbledore says.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 22 - Words: 142,906 - Reviews: 4167 - Favs: 6,674 - Follows: 6,681 - Updated: 10/25/2018 - Published: 8/24/2016 - [Harry P., Hermione G.] - Complete
Blindness by AngelaStarCat reviews
Harry Potter is not standing up in his crib when the Killing Curse strikes him, and the cursed scar has far more terrible consequences. But some souls will not be broken by horrible circumstance. Some people won't let the world drag them down. Strong men rise from such beginnings, and powerful gifts can be gained in terrible curses. (HP/HG, Scientist!Harry)
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Adventure/Friendship - Chapters: 38 - Words: 324,281 - Reviews: 5337 - Favs: 14,804 - Follows: 13,916 - Updated: 9/25/2018 - Published: 1/1/2015 - Harry P., Hermione G. - Complete
For Love of Magic by Noodlehammer reviews
A different upbringing leaves Harry Potter with an early knowledge of magic and a view towards the Wizarding World not as an escape from the Dursleys, but as an opportunity to learn more about it. Unfortunately, he quickly finds that there are many elements in this new world that are unwilling to leave the Boy-Who-Lived alone.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Chapters: 56 - Words: 812,590 - Reviews: 11955 - Favs: 12,750 - Follows: 11,538 - Updated: 8/13/2018 - Published: 12/15/2015 - Harry P. - Complete
Harry Potter and the Daft Morons by Sinyk reviews
At the first task of the Tri-Wizard Tournament Harry sees his chance to strike down his enemies - and takes it. Here is a Harry who knows how to think and reason. Really Bash!AD, EWE, Clueful!HP Eventual HP/HG/DG/FD NL/HA/SB and others. Unapologetically!AU.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Drama - Chapters: 84 - Words: 745,285 - Reviews: 11087 - Favs: 12,259 - Follows: 13,903 - Updated: 4/23/2018 - Published: 7/7/2017 - [Harry P., Hermione G., Fleur D., Daphne G.]
Harry Potter and the Magic of Life by Kate Carpenter reviews
End of 3rd year. While Sirius is on trial to prove his innocence, Harry is abandoned by the Dursleys who, after the Marge incident, have enough of him. Luckily Harry's picked up by Bill Weasley. And ends up joining Bill on a Cursbreaking expedition to Cambodia. He gets far more than he asking for! Disturbing news, promises, trouble and danger keep following Harry's every step.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Adventure/Friendship - Chapters: 69 - Words: 326,810 - Reviews: 1262 - Favs: 3,934 - Follows: 4,084 - Updated: 4/1/2018 - Published: 1/27/2015 - Harry P., Fleur D., Bill W., Daphne G. - Complete
On a Pale Horse by Hyliian reviews
AU. When Dumbledore tried to summon a hero from another world to deal with their Dark Lord problem, this probably wasn't what he had in mind. MoD!Harry, Godlike!Harry, Unhinged!Harry. Dumbledore bashing.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor/Adventure - Chapters: 25 - Words: 69,349 - Reviews: 4764 - Favs: 13,815 - Follows: 14,970 - Updated: 8/26/2017 - Published: 9/11/2014 - Harry P.
Vengeance? No! Avenger! by Deadlandmarshal reviews
Harry and Hermione have gone farther than they ever expected in pursuit of the last task Dumbledore left to them, how are they going to handle it being derailed by the actions of the worlds mightiest heroes? Edited by the mighty Pazed!
Crossover - Harry Potter & Avengers - Rated: M - English - Adventure/Suspense - Chapters: 31 - Words: 79,204 - Reviews: 996 - Favs: 2,567 - Follows: 2,671 - Updated: 2/25/2017 - Published: 9/19/2015 - Harry P., Hermione G. - Complete
HP: Dolen Amser by Jonn Wolfe reviews
TO BE REWRITTEN: After the Department of Mysteries, a duel with Voldemort at #4 Privet Drive has Harry thrown back before his First Year. Now he has to deal with everything again and avoid his younger self at the same time. Now, what's up with his flippin hair? GoodReason!Dumbledore, OnTheFence!Snape, Unbound!Harry, Happy!Harry, HONKS
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance/Adventure - Chapters: 9 - Words: 30,585 - Reviews: 826 - Favs: 2,869 - Follows: 3,254 - Updated: 12/15/2015 - Published: 12/6/2012 - [Harry P., N. Tonks] Hermione G. - Complete
Nymphadora's Beau by losthpfanficwriter reviews
In the summer prior to fifth year, Andromeda Tonks finds out her daughter Nymphadora has set her sights on Remus Lupin. She's not happy with this, and tricks Tonks into going for Harry Potter instead. What starts out as a way to "get back" at her parents, turns into an uncommon romance... Canon until the start of Book 5 'Order of the Phoenix', mild lemons. / No updates, on hold.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance/Friendship - Chapters: 26 - Words: 89,035 - Reviews: 2247 - Favs: 5,597 - Follows: 6,531 - Updated: 4/14/2015 - Published: 4/9/2014 - [Harry P., N. Tonks] Hermione G.
Harry's Golden Nuggets by Snaggledog reviews
Harry takes charge of his fate and the war. He manipulates the wizarding world with revolts, scams and his own vast wealth, but even the best laid plans go awry. His mistake costs him more than he bargains for. Regardless, he is committed to making his crazy plan work. Begins after GoF - Some Dumbledore bashing.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Drama/Humor - Chapters: 24 - Words: 147,742 - Reviews: 621 - Favs: 1,866 - Follows: 818 - Updated: 6/28/2014 - Published: 5/20/2014 - Harry P. - Complete
Harry Potter and The Twelve Gates by General Schemer reviews
The war is over and the summer is just getting started for Harry. Things should be better, but Harry's summer looks as dismal as ever. Hermione is in Australia - Ron and Ginny are holed up at the Burrow helping the family 'mend'. And trouble - loads of it, is just around the corner. HP/OC Rated M for adult themes and content.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 27 - Words: 135,026 - Reviews: 48 - Favs: 138 - Follows: 67 - Updated: 6/23/2013 - Published: 7/22/2012 - [Harry P., OC] Ron W., Hermione G. - Complete
The Dark Lord's Equal by Lens of Sanity reviews
Years after the Epilogue things look bleak; Harry Potter agrees to go back to the Ministry Battle to change history for the better. Premise; "canon makes sense" though not in the way you think. Fight scenes, humour, romance, magic, and insanity. FINISHED
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 6 - Words: 58,281 - Reviews: 624 - Favs: 2,267 - Follows: 930 - Updated: 4/16/2011 - Published: 2/21/2011 - Harry P., Hermione G. - Complete
Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .
Nobodie's fool
AU An intelligent Harry Potter grows up with a loving family. AU, not slash. Rated for violence and foul language.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Family - Chapters: 3 - Words: 1,868 - Favs: 5 - Follows: 13 - Updated: 4/16 - Published: 4/15
An open letter to Wizarding Britain reviews
Alternate universe, one shot. Not slash.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Family - Chapters: 1 - Words: 824 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 6 - Follows: 10 - Published: 4/14
Harry Potter's Southern Belle reviews
Harry Potter is an I.C.W. Government compliance officer. There is a new and dangerous threat to the wizarding world. Can Harry stop it? Not Slash. EWE.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Mystery - Chapters: 14 - Words: 15,419 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 20 - Follows: 19 - Updated: 10/24/2019 - Published: 10/15/2019 - Harry P. - Complete
The interrogation of Dolohov and Rookwood reviews
Companion piece to Harry Potter's Southern Belle. Very violent, not for kids.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Horror - Chapters: 1 - Words: 716 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 1 - Published: 10/21/2019 - Harry P., Antonin D., Augustus R. - Complete
Wandering: The journey Continues reviews
Harry Potter continues on his journey of self discovery and ancient magics. Not slash. EWE
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Friendship - Chapters: 15 - Words: 18,402 - Reviews: 14 - Favs: 59 - Follows: 68 - Updated: 10/14/2019 - Published: 10/7/2019 - Harry P., Hermione G., OC - Complete
Wandering reviews
Unable to handle the hordes of fans and reporters Harry goes wandering. EWE. Not slash. Rating may change for violence and foul language.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Friendship - Chapters: 38 - Words: 32,838 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 57 - Follows: 49 - Updated: 10/7/2019 - Published: 9/28/2019 - Harry P., Hermione G., OC - Complete
