-hits microphone- Hey, is this thing on...

Ah yes, hello! My name is SECREEEET, and I'm a proud Swede! (-sighs- No, we DON'T have any polarbears over here. At least I haven't seen any...-ponders-)

Age: Yes we all wonder... 18 (OMG!), and getting older!

Birthday: 5th of June 1991. I'm a summer-child!

Gender: ...if you can't guess from my name... female!

Sexuality: Bi. Yes, I am bi, and I'm proud of it. Lately, more of a lesbian actually...I only find boys together interesting now a days! XD

My looks: Blonde, short and blue-eyed (gives away a bit from my penname, huh?) Yeah, and my nickname, The Blonde Midget, yes that is indeed what my friends call me...

What more what more... Ah yes, my stories! They will upload quite fast, and they are quite good I hope... Read and find out =D And please, if you have to critizise, tell me what to do to make them better!

My fav series: Yu-Gi-Oh and Beyblade! I soo love them! Hack//sign is quite good too. And I just LOVE Loveless, and Gravitation...then again, who doesn't? XD Also, I love The Abridged Series of Yugioh...even if that isn't OFFICIALLY an anime...and Naruto! OMG! So great...who can't love that loud mouthed blonde ninja...And Bleach is rather damn fine too. I'm seriously gonna marry Kon one day...XD

Fav characters: Seto Kaiba, Jounouchi Katsuya, The yamis (Yami, Bakura and Marik), Kai Hiwatari and Max Tate! Also, Sasuke, Naruto, Kakashi and Iruka!

Fav pairings:

YuGiOh

SetoJou (absolute fav of all times!)

YamiYugi

BakuraRyou

AnzuDeath (yeah, that is totally a paring! -glares-)

OtogiHonda

Naruto

SasuNaru

KakaIru

GaaLee

KibaHina

ShikaTema

BeyBlade

KaiTyson

KaiMax

TysonMax

Harry Potter

Draco/Harry

Draco/Ron (only sometimes, though )

Cedric/Harry

Hermoine/Ron

Sirius/Remus

Bleach

Ichigo/Rukia

Ichigo/Ishida

Ichigo/Renji

Tatsuki/Orihime

Byakuya/Renji

SCC

Toya/Yukito

Sakura/Shaoran

Other 'interesting' facts about me

Um...I'm a Gemeni, and I love candy. Specially chocolate. Mm-chocolate...also, I'm quite a happy and hyper person, and I like most people. I play handball (best sport evah'!), and I am a goalkeeper. Have a girlfriend now, so HAH, and very much in love! Anywho...yes, I love being hyper, which I am about 99.9 percent of my waking hours...and I love to laugh!

Things I hate

1. Anzu. Yes, be shocked, I hate her. I even hate her more than spiders and shoeshopping! HATE! I mean, how many people can actually say they like her? Give me one GOOD reason that you should like her...I will find something to argue against it, I swear!

2.I hate people who lies, and treats other people badly.

3. I hate homophobes, and racists.

4. Finally, I hate people who uses the Bible to say Homosexuality is wrong, and overly Christian people who tries to 'over turn me'. No thanks, I'm rather happy living on the dark side. We have yaoi! XD

Things I love

1. Puppyshipping. Seriously, SetoJou is the best yaoi pairing ever!

2. CHOCOLATE! It's the best candy ever!

3. I love my friends, the few good I have-they are just flipping amazing!

4. YAOI! XD

5. Handball is on this list too. Truly, the best sport in the world!

6. And my family. Sure, they can be a pain in the ass, but they are amazing anyway.

My Stories...

A Puppy's Crazy Valentine: Now finished: D Well, except the epilougue, which is going very slow...writers block! Damn it!

Bedtime Tears: AND NOW, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN; BEDTIME TEARS IS FINSIHED! Erm, yeah...thanks everyone that reviewed and made me able to write and update. I love you all!And those who wish to read Bedtime Tears, it contains Anzu bashing, so if you don't like that, don't read! And I KNOW that she isn't like in the series, but it's a part of the plot! (heads up people; might be a sequeal!)

Wha'dya mean we're stuck?: My first ever finished fic...-sniffs. I am so proud...

Only One Left: My first ever one shot, and angst! ...and also, my second finished story =D

Why Do I Stay: Two chap story, hope you liked it!

I Hate You: Ommygod, so sad! My first ever tradgedy...and prolly the last! The oneshot which has the most reviews on my list of finished stories...

Old Love: FINISHED :O Be amazed, I actually finished the fic! Took some time though... ;;; Yeah. Glad so many enjoyed it, though...500 reviews for this story, my new record! I am so proud!

Marik Is Bored: WARNING! Most random fic EVAH! XD But funny, at least I thought it was funny to write it...

Sleeping Pills: My first ever Bakura/Ryou fic as main pairing. One word; ANGST! (as only a BxR fic can be XD)

First Kiss: Just a cute little SetoJou oneshot...

A Welcome Arrow Through The Heart: Title stolen from a song. Tell me which, and I'll give you a cookie. :D Anyway...SetoJou, naturally, and onesided MaiJou...if you want to read something that, for me, explains what happens to Mai when Seto and Jou gets together, read it. Also, my first try at a lime...-blushes-

Future Fics

The Ancient Egypt fic, which doesn't have a name yet. Well...working on it, got the plot worked out and all, but really no will to write it yet. Just wait, though, inspiration will probably come soon! SethJono in that one...

Also...A Christmas related fic, SetoJou of course. Lots of humour, and lots of yaoi...it will probably be here my first lemon comes up! So...heads up for that! I've got one chapter done, I might post it as a teaser for all of you who wants to read a multi-chap story by me...we'll see. It's supposed to come out this Christmas, so...XD

You May also request stories from me...give me an idea, and I'll see what I can do. -smiles-

Last few things; Main pairing will have to be yaoi, but side can be het. It will have to be a pairing I like, or at least approve of. (meaning, no messing with the SetoJou pairing, damnit!) And lastly; NO INCEST STORIES! Seriously, no. I DON'T write that. I can write brotherly love, but NO incest. Just so you all know. So don't make any of those requests, please! So...what are you waiting for?! Send me requests, damnit!

Does anyone have any nice Seto/Jou pics/fanarts? Or do you know any good internetpage with fanart of Seto/Jou, or any other fandom with said pairing? If you do, please e-mail me. My e-mail is drottz_salami@

Also, if you want to ask me anything, I will be happy to answer mails.

Ookay, and hm... Right, my absolute favs on Fanfiction.net!

Chibi Chib: You have reviwed on almost all of my stories, all the time! Thanks!

Pharaohessl: Oooh, your reviews always make me happy, and go writing as fast as I possbly can, since I don't wanna make you sad! Love ya!

AnimeNymph: Well, what can I say about you? YOU'RE A BLOODY SAINT! You always review, and give me more credit then I'm worth! Thank you, love ya!

Jinkoushinzou: Yay! Your reviews also makes me go happy... and also a little worried about your mind... But hey, all geniouses are a little crazy, right? (And please get writing more on your fic soon, 'kay?)

The Psychologist: Oh yay! You are one of my faves here too! And your pen name rocks! ;)

XxSexIitxX: =D You are absolutely awesome! To quote Ryuo, absolutely smashing!

xMizzxbx: You are also great, love ya!

Growing Pain: Wow. You have helped me alot, with your reviews and such. And you're also an absolutely awesome writer!

Mandapandabug: One of the greatest on Fanfiction.Net! Nice reviews you've left me, and thanks for all the tips!

Melodyz07: Seriously, I LOVE YOU! You're so awesome, thank you for all your help and support. Good luck on your story!

Angel Kurisutin: Great girl! (good luck with Mr. Parrot XD) And also, great writer. You know I love your oneshot! And that I love you! Have a Mokuba plushy! -throws it at you-

Of course theres many more I love here, but I can't room them all here! Thanks you all!

Quotes (by me, my friends, from shows and other people!)

"There's a fine line between genius and insanity. You passed it miles back." -Unknown

"I do not suffer from insanity; I enjoy every second of it!" -Unknown

"A friend bails you out of jail. A best friend sits next to you and says; 'That was fun!'" -Unknown (I have many unknown XD)

Feminists says that men and females are worth the same. And then they call men pigs..." -Tilda, a dear (and crazy) friend of mine!

"I am not your friend, Wheeler! If I was, I'd be standing over there with the other geeks, cheering my pathetic little heart out!" -Seto Kaiba Yu-Gi-Oh

"I've laughed so much, I'm gonna live my whole life!" -Me

"The thing about being a good loser is that you're still a loser!" -Dr. Gregory House from 'House' (LOVE THAT MAN! XD)

"Nature's carrot!" -Anders and Måns (two Swedish comedians...)

"Just you wait until I'm not naked!" -Joey Wheeler, in 'The Kaiba Saga' (fanfic)

"Everything in this room is edible. Even I am edible! But that is called cannibalism, dear children, and is frowned upon in most societies." Willy Wonka aka Johnny Depp, in Charlie and The Chocolate Factury. (one of my favourite movies for obvious reasons!)

"Me, I'm dishonest. And a dishonest man, you can always trust to be dishonest. It's the honest ones you have to look out for, because you never know when they will go and do something completely...stupid." Johnny Depp as Captain Jack Sparrow, in Pirates of The Caribbean

"DOH! NUTS! ...mm...donuts..." Homer Simpson

Joey; You're going down, Kaiba!"

Seto; Oh yeah? Well, you're going up, Wheeler, and in this game, that's far worse..." -The fourway duel between Seto, Joey, Marik and Yami.

"There must be something good about being dead..." Ed, in 'Ed Stone is dead.'

Seto: Anyone who's late for registration willbe disqualified. Mokuba, make sure Wheeler is late. -leaves-

Joey: ...hey, wait a second! I know an insult when I hear one! Don't you walk away from me! Hey; look at me when I'm yelling at you! -Yugioh

Yami: My grandfather's deck has do pathetic cards, Kaiba! ...well, except maybe for Kuriboh... -The Abridged Series, by LittleKuriboh on Youtube.com (if you haven't seen them, go and do! They are soo great!)

"Quiet! Sit! Sit by your master's feet, where you belong!" Seto in Jou's dream in Duelist Kingdom. (Honestly, who can say that wasn't a bit of a dirty line?)

"I'm here to kick ass and chew bubblegum. And I am all out of bubblegum." Seto Kaiba.

Siegfried: So, tell me Kaiba; How does it feel, being a washed up has-been?

Seto: Why don't you tell me? -Yu-Gi-Oh

Yami: Wait, Mokuba, don't do this! Imagine what your brother would say if he saw you now!

Imaginary-Seto: Well done, Mokuba. Now steal something from Joey too!

Yami: ...well, imagine what he would say if he wasn't a total scumbag. -The Abridged Series by LittleKuriboh, on Youtube.com

"Crying is for babies and Italians!" Red Forman, That 70ties show.

"Just because you have the emotional range of a teaspoon..." Hermione Granger, in 'The Order of The Phoenix' movie. (LOVE IT!)

Ron: So...how was it?

Harry: ...wet. //'Order of the Phoenix, after Harry kisses Cho. (God, I love that boy sometimes...)

HI! I've finally started writing again. Err, not on The Magazine, though. I've started a new fic, with puppyshipping as main pairng (hands up for those who're surprised...). It'll be posted as soon as I've finished it. The Blonde Midget has returned to ! XD

On other note...-clears throat- GAH! DOES ANYONE KNOW WHERE I CAN FIND TRANSLATED PUPPYSHIPPING DOUJINSHIS?! T-T I'VE BEEN SEARCHING THE WORLD WIDE WEB FOR SOME, BUT ONLY FIND /SOME/ JAPANEESE ONES! IF YOU KNOW SOME WEBSITE WITH ENGLISH ONES; P-L-E-A-S-E SEND ME A PM OR MAIL ABOUT IT! Thank you!

Cheerio, love(s)!

Hugs and kisses to everyone!

-The Blonde Midget