the8horcrux
 Author has written 11 stories for Percy Jackson and the Olympians, Avengers, Harry Potter, and Lord of the Rings. 2020: gonna ask my momma if that offer to slap me into next year is still on the table. Hellloo my fellow awesome nerds!!! I'm the8horcrux and I'm here to write nerdy stories about other stories! My profile is pretty long, so if you just want to know a few things about me then you can just read this first part. (Yes, I'm one of those people who copy and paste literally everything) I am a budding actress (and yes, I am a girl), a hopeful writer, and an optimist. I believe that the world was wide enough for Hamilton and Burr *sob*. I am a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, also known as the Mormon Church. Please no flames. If you would like to learn more about our Savior go here: come(unto)(christ).o.r.g. (remove parenthesis and periods) Name: Creep, why do do you want to know? Age: between 11 and 111. Birthday: Maytember 50th, 2099 Social Security Number: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA No. Location: Well, I grew up as a shieldmaiden from Rohan but I now go to Hogwarts for school and do Camp Half-Blood in the summer, as well as being a part-time Ranger of Araluen. Don't ask me where I find time to write. I don't know. I am a Ravenclaw. I am a Percabeth fan. My job is an Auror, or Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher. I'm really not picky. My favorite color is blue. My unpopular fandom opinion is: Legolas is... okay. I mean he's cool, but I feel like he's not worth the My motto is: "One hundred bad days makes one hundred good stories, and one hundred good stories makes me interesting at parties." (All rights go to AJR). I will never use swear words or adult themes in my stories. I hereby swear to never leave Fanfiction.net without trace. If a circumstance occurs in which I must sever myself from this site, be it known that I will put an explanation on my profile. This is because my heart breaks whenever I read an amazing story, and then find out that the writer is gone. I never know if he/she'll ever come back, and must live my days wondering, hoping against hope that he/she'll return. My goal: To write at least one fanfiction about every single one of my book/movie/play obsessions, crossover or otherwise. No easy task, since I love so many of them. But it'll happen... eventually. Oh and also to write an actual book. Disclaimer: this applies to all chapters of all of my stories, because I really don't want to write that on every single chapter. Please don't sue me, I spent all my money on books. Finally, the images that I use for the cover images for my stories I DO NOT own, I look the things that I need up and copy and paste those images. Whoever did the artwork for them has my sincerest congratulations that you can draw that well. Okay I think that's it. Moving on... But seriously, I am like the nerdiest person ever. Ask me any question about Harry Potter, there's a 99.9999 percent chance that I'll answer correctly. Same with Percy Jackson, or any of Rick Riordan's stuff. Oh, and just a notice: I do have a life that I have to deal with (I know, sucky, right?) so if i don't update for a while then always know that I WILL, it might just take a while I enjoy writing fanfiction about the characters in the background. I figure that the main characters have had enough fanfictions about them, you know? I mean, not that that's not a fun thing to write about, but you know what I mean. For example, what happened to that kid in Iron Man 2 who almost got killed by a droid until Iron Man showed up? How was he affected by that? Those are the sort of places that my mind goes to. I think I'm best known for my Percy Jackson/Avengers crossover series. I truly appreciate all the attention it's gotten--some good, some bad. I've gotten many reviews across all my stories that say that I've just inserted the PJO characters into the Avengers. I'll address that here instead of just putting an author's note on one of my stories. I admit that I do insert the characters into the Avengers. That's what most of the PJO/Avengers crossovers are. I could have done something different, but when I started this story, I didn't have the courage to change canon so much. As I've grown as a writer I've gotten the bravery to start branching out more. (check out my Far From Home story, there's a big twist coming) Plus, I don't really love the stories that change canon so much. If you don't like the way I do it, go to other crossovers. There's lots. About my writing style: I'm good at writing about characters who have already been written. I'm good at world building (I can have about three ideas in one day about different fantasy worlds). I'm not so great at making new characters and making them interesting and fresh. If you have any tips about character development and character building for me I'd love to hear them. So yeah! That's the basics! If you want to know exactly what my book/movie/play obsessions are, continue down. If you don't really care, then continue waaaayyy down to my stories, where I hope you will read and review! Book obsessions in no particular order: Harry Potter Percy Jackson and the Olympians the Heroes of Olympus The Trials of Apollo (I'm currently waiting in fear for the Tower of Nero. Very scared for that, and IF YOU KILL PERCABETH I'LL KILL YOU, RICK) The Kane Chronicles Magnus Chase and the Gods of Asgard Artemis Fowl Septimus Heap Michael Vey Fablehaven Dragonwatch Books of Bayern The I.Q. series (which is not on fanfiction right now) the Magisterium The Chronicles of Narnia The Hobbit Lord of the Rings The Ascendance Trilogy Ranger's Apprentice Sherlock (ok I like the books but THE TV SHOW GUYS WOW it's really good) Movie Obsessions in no particular order Anything Marvel Movies Star Wars Play Obsessions in no particular order Hamilton (OH MY GOSH GUYS I'M SO OBSESSED WITH HAMILTON IT'S AMAZING) Wicked The Lightning Thief Musical Any musical made out of a Disney movie As you can see, I've got a long ways to go. If only I would stop writing about Percy Jackson and/or Avengers... cue hysterical laughing* LIKE THAT'LL EVER HAPPEN The Quote Wall It is our choices that show who we truly are, far more than our abilities. - Albus Dumbledore (The Chamber of Secrets, Harry Potter) The truth is a wonderful and terrible thing, and should therefore be treated with great caution. -Albus Dumbledore (The Philosopher's Stone, Harry Potter) It takes a great deal of courage to stand up to our enemies, but a great deal more to stand up to our friends. -Albus Dumbledore (The Philosopher's Stone, Harry Potter) We've all got both light and dark inside of us. What matters is the part we choose to act on. That's who we really are. -Sirius Black (The Order of the Phoenix, Harry Potter) Things we lose always have a way of coming back to us in the end, if not always in the way we expect. -Luna Lovegood (The Order of the Phoenix, Harry Potter) You think the dead we love ever truly leave us? You think that we don't recall them more clearly than ever in times of great trouble? -Albus Dumbledore (The Prisoner of Azkaban, Harry Potter) Parents shouldn't leave their kids unless-unless they've got to. -Harry Potter (The Deathly Hallows, Harry Potter) Books! And cleverness! There are more important things-friendship and bravery- Hermione Granger (The Philosopher's Stone, Harry Potter) All get what they want; they do not always like it.- Aslan (The Magician's Nephew, The Chronicles of Narnia) "Keep what I found? I have to, at all costs." -Tony Stark (Avengers: Endgame) "It does seem that the more one gets the more one wants, doesn't it?" -Meg March (Little Women) For what you see and hear depends a good deal on where you are standing, it also depends on what sort of person you are. -Narrator (The Magician's Nephew, The Chronicles of Narnia) "All these years sneaking around, and we can just be ourselves?" "You should always do that. You have to flaunt the weird, my friends." -Annabeth Chase and Alex Fierro, (The Ship of the Dead, Magnus Chase and the Gods of Asgard) "Look around, look around, at how lucky we are to be alive right now..." -Eliza Schuyler Hamilton, (That Would Be Enough, Hamilton) "Love doesn't discriminate between the sinners and the saints, it takes and it takes and it takes, and we keep loving anyway, we laugh and we cry and we break and we make our mistakes..." -Aaron Burr (Wait for It, Hamilton) "...you have no control who lives who dies who tells your story..." -George Washington, (History Has Its Eyes On You, Hamilton) "I am the one thing in life I can control! I am inevitable, I am an original!" -Aaron Burr (Wait for It, Hamilton) "I'm past patiently waiting, I'm passionately smashing every expectation!"--Alexander Hamilton (My Shot, Hamilton) "Life is only precious because it ends, kid." --Mars (The Son of Neptune, The Heroes of Olympus) "You fail to recognize that it matters not what someone is born, but what they grow to be!" --Albus Dumbledore (The Goblet of Fire, Harry Potter) ...how fine a line divide(s) dreading the future and looking forward to it.--Kendra Sorenson, (Grip of the Shadow Plague, Fablehaven) "I'll never know when that day comes, because I'll never stop trying."--Dale Burgess (Fablehaven) ”Always remember: your focus determines your reality.” -Qui-Gon Jinn (Star Wars: Episode 1, The Phantom Menace) ”You will have more hearts broken by the people you love than by the people you hate. But you must still dare to love. The rewards are worth far more than the risks." -Grace Cahill (Into the Gauntlet, The 39 Clues) "There is always hope." -Aragorn, son of Arathorn (The Two Towers, Lord of the Rings) "Normal is a myth. Everyone has issues that they're dealing with." --Sally Jackson (Strong, the Lightning Thief Musical) "It is best to love first what you are fitted to love, I suppose." --Merry Brandybuck (The Return of the King, Lord of the Rings) "Hope is like the sun--if you only believe in it when you can see it, you'll never make it through the night." Leia Organa Skywalker (Star Wars: Episode VIII, The Last Jedi) "True courage is knowing not when to take a life, but when to spare one." --Gandalf (The Hobbit: The Unexpected Journey) "If more people valued home above gold, this world would be a merrier place." --Thorin Oakenshield (The Hobbit: The Battle of the Five Armies) "I find it is the small, everyday deeds of ordinary folk that keep the darkness at bay." --Gandalf (The Hobbit: The Unexpected Journey) "Tell them how I am defying gravity," --Elphaba Thropp (Defying Gravity, Wicked) "I'm through with accepting limits, 'cuz someone says they're so!" --Elphaba Thropp (Defying Gravity, Wicked) "Nobody gives you respect in this life. You must take it, you must earn it, and then you must hold it sacred, because no matter how hard respect is to attain, it can be lost in an instant." --Jaron Eckbert (The Shadow Throne, The Ascendance Trilogy) "Deeds are not less valiant because they are unpraised." --Aragorn (The Lord of the Rings) ”Everyone fails at being who they’re supposed to be.” —Frigga (Avengers: Endgame) "A thing isn't beautiful because it lasts." --Vision (Avengers: Age of Ultron) "Courage isn't the absence of fear, but rather the judgement that something is more important than fear." --Philippe Renaldi (The Princess Diaries) "I can't control their fear, only my own." --Wanda Maximoff (Captain America: Civil War) "Just because something works doesn't mean it can't get better." --Shuri (Black Panther) "Puzzles are so easy when you have the key." --Artemis Fowl (Artemis Fowl) "One impossible thing at a time." --Jean Luc Picard (Star Trek: Picard) "When life crushes your lemons, use a radioactive watermelon to recharge your exosuit." (Don't ask) --Milo Murphy and Phineas Flynn (The Phineas and Ferb Affect, Milo Murphy's Law) "People will think what they want to. Never take too much notice of it." Halt (Ranger's Apprentice, the Ruins of Gorlan) "But in the end, it's only a passing thing, this shadow. Even darkness must pass... and when the sun shines, and will shine out all the clearer... folk in those stories, they had lots of chances of turning back, only they didn't. Because they were holding on to something--that there's some good in this world, Mr. Frodo. And it's worth fighting for." --Samwise Gamgee (The Two Towers, Lord of the Rings) "It's not a bad thing, finding out you don't have all the answers. Then you start asking the right questions." --Erik Selvig, (Thor) "If my life is going to mean anything, I have to live it myself." --Sally Jackson (Percy Jackson: The Lightning Thief) "It matters. It matters which side we choose. Even if there will never be more light than darkness. Even if there can be no more joy in the world than there is pain. For every action we undertake, for every word we speak, for every life we touch--it matters. I don't turn toward the light because it means someday I'll 'win' some sort of cosmic game. I turn toward it because it is the light." --Qui-Gon Jinn, (Master and Apprentice) When Life gives you lemons, freeze them, chuck them at Life's nose, burn down Life's house, and scream, "THAT'LL TEACH YOU TO MESS WITH ME, LIFE!" -the8horcrux Percy Jackson: Mission Marvel reading order: Percy Jackson: Mission Marvel (Complete) Percy Jackson: Civil War (Complete) Percy Jackson: Infinity War (Complete) Percy Jackson: Endgame (Complete) Percy Jackson: Far From Home (In Progress, expect slow updates) Special story shout out! If you like really good stories, here are a bunch that I've found in my years of searching. These are stories that have been underappreciated for their awesomeness, handpicked by yours truly. All will be clean, minimal to no curse words, and no adult content. Please check these out and give a review. Percy Jackson The Many Shades of My Revenge The Next Generation By Halfblood.keeper Family Matters The Final Sacrifice Going Viral Harry Potter The Lost Year of Harry Potter From Ashes Avengers Alternatively Dear Mr. Fantasy Lord of the Rings/Hobbit In Shadow Realm For the Love of the Lord of the White Tree Healing the Shieldmaiden Most of my fanfictions that I've found are Percy Jackson, but I'll be looking for more! This is basically my fanfiction hall of fame. Ninety-five percent of kids out there are concerned with being popular and fitting in. Copy and paste this onto your profile if you are one of the five percent who aren’t. If you have ever ran into something/someone while reading a book, copy and paste this onto your profile. Weird is good, strange is bad, and odd is when you do not know which to call someone. Weird is the same as different, which is the same as unique, than weird is good. If you are weird and proud of it, copy and paste this onto your profile! Do you hate getting into a good FanFiction, but then discover that it hasn't been updated in years? If so, copy and paste this into your profile! By doing so, you agree to do everything you can to get that author back to writing, either by PMing them, leaving a demanding review (all caps is recommended), or, you know, just leaving a review. Did you know the average American only reads 3 books a year? If you don't believe that it's even possible to read that little, copy and paste this onto your profile! KHAAAAAAAAN! If you get this reference, copy and paste this to your profile. If you've ever wished you could go into a book/movie (cough cough THE FELLOWSHIP OF THE RINGS cough cough) and strangle some of the characters for being so incredibly dumb (cough cough PIPPIN cough cough) copy and paste this into your profile If your part of the .0000000001 percent of people who does NOT have a MySpace (what even IS that?), or Facebook, copy and paste this into your profile. If you think the 'Dumb Blonde' stereotype wouldn't exist if everyone knew about Annabeth Chase, copy and paste this into your profile. Put this in your profile if you didn't know the Alphabet Song and Twinkle Twinkle Little Star had the same tune. (I"m still not convinced) If you're one of those people who gets excited when you see just two reviews, copy and paste this into your profile. (I would be excited if I got one!) If people have asked you what your favorite non-canon ship was for any given fandom and you've replied, I think most shipping these days can be done without the use of cannons, copy and paste this on to your profile. You Know You're a Writer Checklist: (Bold equals yes) You have the last chapters of the story done without even thinking of the characters names. You often imagine your books becoming movies. Spell check is your best friend. You'll spend an hour trying to find one word because you wouldn't dare use a synonym. Not being able to write is like not being able to pee, you just can't hold it in for very long. You write so fast, you leave out words in a sentence. Things that are written badly annoy you and make you want to rewrite them better. You laugh at jokes you wrote yourself. You can spell words like 'troublesome' but can't spell 'the' half the time. If you are not writing or typing, your fingers are moving constantly. (I swear I have an issue, I literally type out the words that I'm saying) When you have to write some sort of story in class, you get carried away and write like ten times more than everyone else, including the teacher. You would rather die than use words like 'good' or 'nice' and etc. You put off the last chapter of a story because you don't want it to end. (i.e. the last chapter of Deathly Hallows, literally cried when I finished because I'd never be able to read it again for the first time) If a story, movie, show, etc, finishes without a suitable ending, you have a powerful need to write it better. You like to fidget, tap, or chew on the tip of something when you are trying to come up with a new sentence, paragraph, chapter, or story. (MY NAILS ARE MUTILATED. CURSE YOU, WRITER'S BLOCK!) You are in love with the Thesaurus. You dream of new stories. You often revisit some of your old stories. Someone can call your name twenty times and you still don't hear them if they're writing. You would rather write than go out. Your/you're and their/there/they're are errors that send you into an apoplectic fit. You get cranky if you don't get to write that day. You've heard/seen/thought something and thought, I need to write that down. You wake up in the middle of the night and scrabble for a pen and paper you keep next to your bed to write down a scene to make the voices be quiet so you can get some sleep. Getting a scene finished is more important than the bathroom or food. A blank wall becomes a screen where the scene you're writing plays write in front of your eyes. Even though you try your hardest to resist, you sometimes find yourself correcting your own grammar. You've apologized out loud to a character after doing something horrible to them. 25 out of 28! Guess I really am a writer. Now if only I could get a real book published... YOUR GUY SIDE: you love hoodies you love jeans dogs are better than cats. it's hilarious when people get hurt you've played with/against boys on a team shopping is torture at some point in life you wanted to be a firefighter you own/ed a DS, PS2 or Sega sad movies suck you own/ed an X-Box played Hotwheel cars as a kid you used to be obsessed with Power Rangers you watch sports on Tv (soccer for always, don't know anything about football) you go to your dad for advice you own like a trillion baseball caps you like to go to high school football games you used to/do collect football/soccer/baseball cards baggy pants are cool to wear it's kinda weird to have a sleepover with a bunch of people green, black, red, blue or silver are one of your favorite colors you love to go crazy and not care what people think you love sports you talk with food in your mouth sleep with your socks on at night 11/24 Not bad... does that count me as a tomboy? 'Cuz I am a girl YOUR GIRL SIDE cats are better than dogs (I love them both the same. Also, why is this listed on the girl side? Tons of boys I know like cats better than dogs, and most girls I know like dogs better than cats.) you wear lip gloss/chapstick you love to shop you wear eyeliner you wear the color pink (Not all the time, but occasionally) you go to your mom for advice you consider cheerleading a sport you hate wearing the color black you like hanging out at the mall you like getting manicure and/or pedicures you like wearing jewelry skirts are a big part of your wardrobe shopping is one of your favorite hobbies you don't like the movie Star Wars (WHAT BLASPHEME IS THIS?!!!) you were in gymnastics/dance in grade 2 it takes you around/about one hour to shower and get dressed (both together I guess, but definitely not separate) you smile a lot more than you should you have more than ten pairs of shoes you care about what you look like you like wearing dresses when you can you like wearing body spray/cologne/perfume you love the movies you used to play with dolls as a kid like putting make up on someone else for the joy/joke of it like being the star of everything 9/25, this concerns me slightly... THE 27 COMMANDMENTS OF FANFICTION 1. Thou shalt not post a fic until it has been checked for spelling and grammar errors. The Fanfction gods hath given you a spellchecker on the computer for a reason. 2. Thou shalt not post a chapter of less than 100 words, unless it is a drabble. This displeases the masses. 3. Thou shalt not put Author's Notes in the middle of a story. 4. Thou shalt NEVER use text-speak in a story, unless the the characters are actually texting. 5. Thou shalt keep to one tense, and one only, throughout the story. Do not switch randomly. 6. Apply the above five to POV's as well. 7. Thou shalt not get offended when someone makes fun of the crack pairing in your story. It probably is quite funny. 8. Thou shalt not use ,;, or :( to show the emotion exhibited by the character. 9. Thou shalt try to keep characters in character! 10. Thou shalt not teat every criticism as a flame 11. The Authors Note is not a spot for personal drama, and thou shalt not make it so. 12. Thou shalt not put any form of the phrase 'first fic' in the summary. 13. Thy created characters must not have names exceeding five syllables in length. Nor shall thy name exceed five words in length. 14. Thou shalt not insert thyself into the story as a character- yes, we know that thy is in love with thyself but we don't need to read about how thy ends up with the main character. 15. If thou art writing a story that differs from the original plot line, thou shalt point it out in the beginning. 16. Thou shalt not make a person randomly smart or powerful unless stating a reason for the change (a good reason). 17. Thou shalt show not tell. 18. Thou shalt NEVER use the phrase 'I suck at summaries' in-est thine summary. This annoys thine readers. 19. Thou shalt not write the same way thou speak-est- writing is an art. 20. Thou shalt ALWAYS spell the word 'Okay', right. ' 'K' and 'Ok' are not acceptable compromises. 21. Thou shalt only use cliches when (a. thou art writing a parody and (b. find a new and interesting twist to make cliches bearable to thine readers. 22. Thou shalt always separate dialogue from two separate speakers in two separate paragraphs. Otherwise thine readers will be confus-ed. 23. Thou shalt not EVER make a chapter all one paragraph. THIS INFURIATES BOTH THINE READERS AND THE FANFICTION GODS. THOU HAST AN ENTER KEY FOR A REASON. 24. Thou shalt not write with thy caps lock on, it displeases the masses and causes thy readers to lose their vision and make angels weep. 25. Thou shalt know how to spell the character's names correctly before you writeth the fic. Misspelling the name of the main characters makes readers angry and distracts from the story. 26. Thou shalt not say in thine summary "summary inside". This shows lack of creativeness and infuriates the masses. The only exception is when a summary is cut short and a continuation of it lies inside. 27. Thou shall use paragraphs and space the story so it is not terrifyingly daunting to thine readers. THE FUNNY STUFF Ways to keep a healthy level of insanity: 1. At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and point a Hair Dryer At Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down. 2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't Disguise Your Voice. 3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, ask If They Want Fries with that. 4. When caught sleeping at school/work/wherever you are not supposed to be sleeping, and you are woken up, shout, "AMEN!" 6. Finish All Your sentences with 'In Accordance With The Prophecy'. 7. Skip down the hall Rather Than Walk and see how many looks you get. 8. Order a Diet Water when you go out to eat, with a serious face. 9. Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is 'To Go'. 10. Sing Along At The Opera. 11. Put Mosquito Netting Around Your Work Area and Play tropical Sounds All Day. 12. Five Days In Advance, Tell Your Friends You Can't Attend Their Party Because You have a headache. 13. When The Money Comes Out The ATM, Scream 'I Won! I Won!' 14. When Leaving the Zoo, Start Running towards the Parking lot, Yelling 'Run For Your Lives! They're Loose!' 15. Tell Your Children Over Dinner, 'Due To The Economy, We Are Going To Have To Let One Of You Go.' 16. And The Final Way To Keep A Healthy Level Of Insanity: Copy and Paste This To Make People who read bios Smile. Let's flip a coin-heads we'll be together, tails we flip again. -Always forgive your enemies - Nothing annoys them so much. -Boys are like slinkies, useless, but fun to watch fall down the stairs. (I don't really agree with this, but it was hilarious so I had to paste it) -There are 3 reasons to go through the day: Waffles in the morning, friends in the afternoon, and a good book for the rest of the day. It's not my fault it fell! Gravity made it go down and Newton discovered gravity, so blame Newton! -I'm going to live forever, or die trying. -If I had something good to say, I would have already said it. -Employee of the month is a good example of how someone can be both a winner and a loser at the same time. -Never knock on Death's door-ring the bell and run away. Death really hates that. -Always and never are two words you should always remember never to use. -Traditions are group efforts to keep the unexpected from happening. -I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that I don't know the answer. -Practice makes perfect, but nobody's perfect, so why practice? -When angry, count to ten, when very angry, swear. -Boys are like trees - they take 50 years to grow up. -They say "Guns don't kill people, people kill people." But I think a gun helps, you know? If you stood there and yelled BANG, I don't think you'd kill too many people, would you? -I understand that Scissors can beat Paper, and I get how Rock can beat Scissors, but there's no way Paper can beat Rock. Is Paper supposed to magically wrap around Rock leaving it immobile? If so, why can't paper do this to scissors? Screw scissors, why can't paper do this to people? Why aren't sheets of college ruled notebook paper constantly suffocating students as they attempt to take notes in class? I'll tell you why, because paper can't beat anybody, a rock would tear that crap up in two seconds. When I play rock/ paper/ scissors, I always choose rock. Then when somebody claims to have beaten me with their paper I can punch them in the face with my ready made fist and say, oh, I'm sorry, I thought paper would protect you, idiot! -That, my children, is called a wall. But beware the wall is solid. Yes be afraid! Be very afraid for we cannot walk through it! Believe me children, for I have attempted this many times before. -Stupidity killed the cat. Curiosity was framed. -The newscaster is the person who says "Good evening" and then tells you exactly why it's not. How true. -I got an A in philosophy because I proved my professor doesn’t exist. I think Einstein managed to do that, too... -Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone might actually clean them? -There are no stupid questions – just a bunch of inquisitive idiots. Teachers must live by this rule. -Politics is war without bloodshed. War is politics with bloodshed. -I'm the type of girl who will burst out laughing in dead silence over something that happened a year ago : ) -Hello and welcome to the Mental Health Hot-line. If you are obsessive compulsive, press 1 repeatedly. If you are co-dependent ask someone to press 2 for you. If you have multiple personalities press 3, 4, 5, 6. If you are paranoid, we know what you are and what you want so stay on the line and we'll trace your call. If you are delusional press 7 and your call will be sent to the Mother Ship. If you are schizophrenic listen carefully and a small voice will tell you which number to press. If you are depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press, no one will answer you. If you are dislexic press 6, 9, 6, 9, 6, 9. If you have a nervous disorder fidget with the hatch key until the beep. After the beep, please wait for the beep. If you have short term memory loss, please try your call again later and if you have low self esteem, hang up; all our operators are too busy to talk to you. Whoever said that nothing's impossible obviously hasn't tried slamming a revolving door. Whoever said "Words don't hurt" obviously hasn't gotten a hard-back encyclopedia thrown at his head before. Behind every great man is a woman shaking her head and rolling her eyes. If you can't beat 'em, join'em. If you can't join 'em, bribe 'em. If you can't bribe 'em, blackmail 'em. If you can't blackmail 'em, kill 'em. If you can't kill 'em, you’re screwed. Rhetorical questions are persuasive, aren't they? He who laughs last probably didn't get the joke at first. Silence is gold. Duct tape is silver. If you do it, you'll regret it. If you don't do it, you'll regret it. Either way, you're still gonna regret it, so why not just do it? I looked up at the stars one night and thought, "Where the heck did my ceiling go?!" As an older, more mature adult, your job is to...make fun of the little kids! There are easier things in life than finding a good lover. Like nailing a Jell-O to a tree, for instance. What's the first thing that comes to your mind when you realize that you're on fire? Do you remember to stop, drop and roll? Or do you just start running around in circles, screaming, "I'M ON FIRE!! SOMEBODY HELP ME!!!!" If a safety pin, duct tape or a band-aid can't fix it, then you have a serious problem. Three people can keep a secret if two are dead. A man walked into a bar and said..."OUCH!!" War doesn't determine who's right, it determines who's left. Come to the dark side, we have cookies! I went to the dark side. Yeah, they lied about the cookies. OH MY GOSH! THE RAIN'S WET! I'm not AD--Ooh, look, a butterfly! ADOST: Attention Deficit-Ohh Shiny Thing I'm a dinosaur, so, like, rawr, and stuff. I reject your reality and substitute it with my own. Be the kind of woman that when your feet hit the floor in the morning, the devil goes, "Oh, crud, she's up!" It takes skill to trip over flat surfaces. ADHD writer: Once upon a -- no...There was once a -- no...THE END! . You know you're a geek when procrastination doesn't affect your grades. The dinosaur's extinction wasn't an accident. Barney came and they all committed suicide. I didn't mean to hurt your feelings...I was aiming for your face. I can only please one person per day. Today is not your day. Tomorrow's not looking too good, either. It's you and me versus the world...we attack at dawn. Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear intelligent until you hear them speak. This calls for a particularly subtle blend of psychology and extreme violence. I didn't say you were stupid, I said you are stupid. There's nothing past tense about it. Everything is funny as long as it is happening to somebody else. I don't suffer from insanity I enjoy every minute of it. You laugh because I'm different. I laugh because you're all the same. When you’re down I may not be able to pick you back up, but I promise I’ll be willing to lay down right next to you I hear your silence loud and clear If at first you don't succeed, don't try skydiving. There are no stupid questions, just stupid people. Sometimes I lie awake at night, and I ask, 'Where have I gone wrong?' Then a voice says to me, 'This is going to take more than one night. Help I've fallen and i cant...hey nice carpet! "We live in an age where pizza gets to your house before the police do." You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted, then used against you. If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest have to drown too? If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done? There’s a fine line between genius and insanity. I have erased this line. Don't take life too seriously, you won't get out alive Always remember that you are absolutely unique. Just like everyone else. Can vegetarians eat Animals Crackers? Why do bankruptcy lawyers expect to be paid? A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I'm afraid of widths Cheese… milk's leap toward immortality. The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese. 'I would love to have a battle of the wits with you but you appear unarmed. PONDER THIS Why is it considered necessary to nail down the lid of a coffin? Why don't you ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery"? Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle? Why is it that doctors call what they do "practice"? Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker? Why can't they make the whole plane out of the same substance that little indestructible black box is? Can fat people go skinny-dipping? If a person with multiple personalities threatens suicide, is that considered a hostage situation? If a cow laughed, would milk come out her nose? So what's the speed of dark? How come abbreviated is such a long word? Ever wonder what the speed of lightning would be if it didn't zigzag? A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk, I have a work station. Shouldn't that be where the work stops? If quitters never win, and winners never quit, what fool came up with, "Quit while you're ahead"? Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office? What are we supposed to do...write to these men? How much deeper would oceans be if sponges didn't live there? After eating, do amphibians need to wait an hour before getting OUT of the water? Why don't they just make mouse-flavored cat food? If you're sending someone some Styrofoam, what do you pack it in? Why do they sterilize needles for lethal injections? Is it true that cannibals don't eat clowns because they taste funny? Isn't Disney World a people trap operated by a mouse? Whose cruel idea was it for the word "lisp" to have an "s" in it? Why can't you find fresh sardines in the fish market? Why do so many old people eat at cafeterias? Why does an "X" stand for a kiss? If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends? Why do we teach kids that violence is not the answer and then have them read about wars in school that solved America's problems? Why is Donkey Kong called "DONKEY" Kong if he's a monkey? If your name is Mr. Crunch, and you joined the Navy, would you eventually be Captain Crunch? Why is it that 364 days of the year, parents tell their kids not to take candy from strangers, yet on Halloween, it's encouraged!? Can't anybody who has a job go in the "employees only" doors at restaurants? Shouldn’t they be more specific and say "employees of this place only"? If a missing person sees their picture on a milk carton that offers a reward, would they get the money? Can bald men get lice? Why are people so scared of mice, yet we all love Mickey Mouse? Why do we wash behind our ears? Who really looks there? Why don't the hairs on your arms get split ends? Why did Yankee Doodle name the feather in his hat Macaroni? "Cute as a button" Is that supposed to be a compliment? Since when are buttons cute? Can you breathe out of your nose and mouth at the same time? Why does the sun lighten our hair, but darken our skin? Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, while dishwashing liquid made with real lemons? Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes? Why do sheep not shrink when it rains? Why are they called "apartments" when they are all stuck together? If con is the opposite of pro, is "Congress" the opposite of "progress"? (WHO THOUGHT OF THIS GENIUS SENTENCE?!) Why is it called common sense if it's so rare? Stupidest Last Words In The History Of Mankind: What does this button do? It's probably just a rash. Are you sure the power is off? The odds of that happening have to be a million to one! Which wire was I supposed to cut? I wonder where the mother bear is. I've seen this done on TV. These are the good kind of mushrooms. It's strong enough for both of us. This doesn't taste right. I can do that with my eyes closed. I've done this before. Well, we've made it this far. That's odd. I'll just put my head in it to make sure. Don't be so superstitious. Now watch this. Look Ma! No Hands! Don't worry, it's not contagious. Of course it's safe. It can't get any worse... There's only one way to find out! Things to do when you're in Walmart! 1. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals. 2. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the restrooms. 3. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, 4. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away. 5. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area. 6. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department. 7. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask, 8. Look right into the security camera & use it as a mirror, and pick your nose. 9. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme. (btw this is literally something I do) 10. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna look" 11. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through, 12. When an announcement comes over the loudspeaker, assume the fetal position and scream. 13. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here! 14. Grab a lot of bouncy balls and throw them down the aisle, shouting "Go, Pikachu, Go!", or "I choose YOU, PIKACHU!!" 15. Have a friend push you down the aisle in a shopping cart as you yell "THE REDNECKS ARE COMING! THE REDNECKS ARE COMING!" 16. Shout at the top of your lungs "WALDEMORT IS TAKING OVER!" and count how many people turn to look at you. Things I know about you 1. you are reading this 2. you are human 3. you cant say the letter 'p' without separating your lips 4. you just attempted to do it 6. you are laughing at yourself 7. you have a smile on your face and you skipped number 5 8. you just checked to see if there is a number 5 9. you laugh at this because you are an idiot and every one does it too 10. you are probably going to send/show/post this to others to see if they fall for it The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was the other possibility. As Part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5-year phase-in plan that would be known as "Euro-English". In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard "c" will be dropped if favour of "k". This should klear up konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter. There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like fotograf 2 letters shorter. In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible. Governments wil enkourage the removal of double leters which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is disgrasful and it should go away. By the 4th yer peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such replasing "th" with "z" and "w" with "v". During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be droped from vords kontaining "ou" and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl. Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech oza. Ze drem of united urop vil finali kum tru. Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German lik zey vunted in ze forst plas. If zis mad yu smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl. First..get a pen and paper. When you actually choose names, make sure it's people you actually know and go with your first instinct. Scroll down one line at a time...and don't read ahead or you'll ruin it! 1. First, write the numbers 1 through 11 in a column. 2. Then, besides numbers 1 and 2, write down any two numbers you want. 3. Beside the 3 and 7, write down the names of members of the opposite sex. 4. Write anyone's name (like friends or family...) in the 4th, 5th, and 6th spots. 5. Write down four song titles in 8,9,10, and 11. (Go with your instincts!) 6. Finally, make a wish. And now the key to the game... 1. You must tell (the number in space 2) people about this game. 2. The person in space 3 is the one that you love. 3. The person in 7 is one you like but can't work out. 4. You care most about the person you put in 4. 5. The person you name in number 5 is the one who knows you very well. 6. The person you name in 6 is your lucky star. 7. The song in 8 is the song that matches with the person in number 3. 8. The title in 9 is the song for the person in 7. 9. The tenth space is the song that tells you most about YOUR mind. 10. 11 is the song telling you how you feel about life. (I'm actually freaking out because this was like sixty percent true. HOLY HERA *This part is funny/terrifying, so I'm including it Have an American history teacher explain this… if they can. Abraham Lincoln was elected to Congress in 1846. John F. Kennedy was elected to Congress in 1946. Abraham Lincoln was elected President in 1860. John F. Kennedy was elected President in 1960. Both were particularly concerned with civil rights. Both wives lost their children while living in the White House. Both Presidents were shot on a Friday. Both Presidents were shot in the head. Now it gets really weird. Lincoln's secretary was named Kennedy. Kennedy's secretary was named Lincoln. Both were assassinated by Southerners. Both were succeeded by Southerners named Johnson. Andrew Johnson, who succeeded Lincoln, was born in 1808. Lyndon Johnson, who succeeded Kennedy, was born in 1908. John Wilkes Booth, who assassinated Lincoln, was born in 1839. Lee Harvey Oswald, who assassinated Kennedy, was born in 1939. Both assassins were known by their three names. Both names are composed of fifteen letters. Hang on to your seat. Lincoln was shot at the theater named 'Ford'. Kennedy was shot in a car called 'Lincoln' made by 'Ford'. Lincoln was shot in a theater and his assassin ran and hid in a warehouse. Kennedy was shot from a warehouse and his assassin ran and hid in a theater. Booth and Oswald were assassinated before their trials. Now here’s the kicker. A week before Lincoln was shot, he was in Monroe, Maryland. A week before Kennedy was shot, he was with Marilyn Monroe. Creepy, huh? Six truths in life 1. You cannot stick your tongue out and look up at the ceiling at the same time: a physical impossibility 2. All idiots, after reading this will try it (I TOTALLY DID THIS AND DIED LAUGHING WHEN I SAW THE SECOND LINE, and I think I broke my tongue hehe) 3. And discover that it's a lie 4. You are smiling now because you are an idiot. 5. You will soon post this on your profile for another idiot to see. 6. There is still a stupid smile on your face. Actual Labels on Actual Things 2. Children's Asprin: Warning: Keep Away From Children (How do I use it then?) 3. Curling Iron: Warning: Do not use while sleeping (But that's the only time I curl my hair!) 4. Candle: Warning: A burning candle is fire (*gasp*) 5. Frozen Pizza: Warning: Do not eat before cooking (Oh, but I always eat my pizza frozen!) 6. Blanket from Taiwan: Warning: Not To Be Used As Protection From A Tornado (I'm seriously concerned, who did this?) 7. Frisbee: Warning: May Contain Small Parts (It only contains ONE part though...) 8. Butcher Knife: Warning: Keep Out of Children (I'm hoping this was a typo...) 9. Railroad Sign: Warning: Beware! To touch these wires is instant death. Anyone found doing so will be prosecuted. (They prosecute dead bodies????) 10. Hair Coloring: Warning: Do not use as an ice cream topping (... I am speechless...) 11. Dial Soap: Warning: Use like regular soap (How, exactly?) 12. Puzzle: Warning: Some Assembly Required (Who would have guessed?) 13. On a Sears hairdryer -- Do not use while sleeping. (Again, that's the only time I work on my hair!) 14. On a bag of Fritos -- You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside. (Ah, the shoplifter special!) 15. On some Swanson frozen dinners -- "Serving suggestion: Defrost." (Just a suggestion...) 16. On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom) -- "Do not turn upside down." (Too late!) 17. On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding -- "Product will be hot after heating." (What did you think?) 18. On packaging for a Rowena iron -- "Do not iron clothes on body." (But that would save time!) (This fits in both The Funny Stuff and the Percy Jackson Section, so I'm putting at the end of The Funny Stuff) Perfection Percy Jackson Quotes "You named him Festus? You know in Latin, 'festus' means 'happy'? You want us to ride off to save the world on Happy the Dragon?" "Yours in demigodishness, and all that. Peace out." "With great power... comes great need to take a nap. Wake me up later." "Percy: 'Don't I get a kiss for luck? It's kind of a tradition, right?' Annabeth: 'Come back alive, Seaweed Brain. Then we'll see.'" "'It's him,' I said. 'Typhon.' I was seriously hoping Chiron would say something good, like 'No, that's our huge friend Leroy! He's going to help us!'" "(evil automatons banging heavily on locked door) Leo: Who is it? EA: VALDEZ!! Leo: Valdez who?" "On the bright side, both Jason and I outrank you, Octavian. So we can both tell you to shut up." "I try not to think. It interferes with being nuts." "The fall? That was nothing! I fell twice as far from the St. Louis Arch." - Percy "Hercules, huh? That guy was like the Starbucks of Ancient Greece. Everywhere you turn--there he is." "Never seen Jason fly before, He looks like a blond Superman." "This is Annabeth, Uh, normally she doesn't judo flip people." "Jason: 'I could have killed you.' Percy: 'Or I could have killed you,' Jason: 'If there'd been an ocean in Kansas, maybe.' Percy: 'I don't need an ocean--' Annabeth: 'Boys, I'm sure you would've been wonderful at killing each other. But right now, you need some rest.' Percy: 'Food first, Please?'" "No, Pipes. It could be a random group of giant eagles flying in perfect formation. Of course they're Roman!" "Great. I should have installed a smoke screen that makes the ship smell like a giant chicken nugget. Remind me to invent that, next time." 'Forget the chicken-nugget smoke screen. Percy wanted Leo to invent an anti-dream hat.' "*sees Percy and Annabeth sleeping* Frank: 'Oh...you are in SO much trouble.' *Percy and Annabeth wake up* Percy: 'What? Oh, we just fell asleep.' Frank: 'Everyone thinks you've been kidnapped! We've been scourging the ship. When Coach Hedge finds out-oh, gods, have you been here ALL NIGHT?' Annabeth: 'FRANK! We just came down here to talk. We fell asleep. Accidentally. That's it.' Percy: 'Kissed a couple of times.' Annabeth: 'Not helping!'" YOU ARE NOW ENTERING THE PERCY JACKSON SECTION! YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED The Percy Jackson Pledge (The Heroes of Olympus Version) I promise to remember Percy But more than this I swear 1. Percabeth or Prachel? Stupid question. Obviously Percabeth. THOSE WHO SAY PERACHEL ARE NOT TRUE PERCY JACKSON FANS. MAY THEY REST IN TARTARUS. 2. Favorite guy character? I wanna say Percy, but that's everyone's favorite character so... Leo. 3. Favorite girl character? Reyna/Annabeth. What? I can't choose. These questions are HARD. 4. Favorite god? Poseidon. 5. Favorite goddess? Artemis/Athena. Again, I can't choose. 6. Zeus, Poseidon, or Hades? Hades. I feel for the guy, plus his powers are cool. And I love Bianca. 7. Is Luke hot? Heck no. 8. Would you join the hunters? I would for a couple hundred years. 9. Archery or sword fighting? Hmmm... I want to kick butt at both, so that's hard to decide. Probably archery if I have to choose. 10. Iris Messaging or Hermes Express? Iris Messaging. WAY cooler. Which sounds better, "I'm going to throw a coin into a rainbow and the face of the person I wanna talk to will appear there" or "i'm going to ship something on Ancient Greek Amazon"? 11. Favorite Minor God/Goddess? That's easy. Terminus. Just kidding! I had you there for a second. Hecate. 12. Favorite book? In PJO, probably the Lightning Thief. In HoO, it's tied between Blood of Olympus and The Son of Neptune. 13. Least favorite? That's hard. All of them are my favorite. But if I had to choose... the Sea of Monsters. I get bored. 14. Would you like to live year-round at Camp Half-Blood, or just in the summer? Probably just in the summer. 15. Favorite couple? This is everyone's answer, but this time I don't care. Percy and Annabeth! 16. Are you a demigod? Stupid question. Why would I be answering these questions if I wasn't? 17. Who would be your parent? Hades, Poseidon, or Athena. Maybe just Hades and Athena. I love Poseidon, seriously, but I would LOVE to be Hades' kid. Their powers are SO cool. 18. Favorite minor character? Clarisse or Silena. 19. Ethan or Luke? Luke. 20. Favorite monster? Mrs. O' Leary. 21. Camp Half-Blood or Camp Jupiter? That's hard. I love both camps. On the one hand, Camp Half-Blood is more fun, on the other hand, Camp Jupiter has Reyna. Camp Half-Blood, I guess. You know you're a Percy Jackson Fan When... You go to the Empire State Building and ask for the 600th floor. You think your favorite singer is a child of Apollo. You think your favorite author is a child of Athena. Everyone is creating a Twilight family and you create a Percy Jackson family. People say they've read Twilight/The Hunger Games and not Percy Jackson and you look at them like they're insane. You sometimes try to control water. You do not read anything but Percy Jackson for three months and when someone offers you a different book you hiss at them. You've gone to google maps and looked up Camp Half-Blood/Camp Jupiter's address. You make Rick Riordan characters on the Sims, Miis on the Wii, and other video games. You repeatedly curse 20th Century Fox for making such a crappy Percy Jackson movie and spend your time imagining how you would do it. You jump up and down and squealed when you found out that Rick Riordan was talking to Disney about a new Percy Jackson movie and also plan to audition for the part of Annabeth/Percy. (GUYS IT'S ACTUALLY HAPPENING. LOOK IT UP.) You recite lines randomly from books. When you see/hear about anything from mythology-related, you talk about what it was in Percy Jackson (page, book, series, etc) and what happened to it. Suddenly want to go to San Francisco/New York/Boston. You jump up whenever anyone says they're from the Bay Area. You claim that Percy IS in fact real and lives in New York, no matter how your friends argue with you. You have dreams about Percy Jackson Characters/Events. You spend your time debating with yourself about Harry Potter or Percy Jackson is better. You write fanfiction constantly, even when you're not at your computer. You have a countdown to The Tower of Nero. You and your other PJO friend cracks up whenever someone mentions Canada/Canadians. (Sorry Frank...) The first thing you ask someone when you meet them is, "Have you read Percy Jackson?" And all your friends roll their eyes. You curse people in Greek/Latin. You're nodding and smiling when you read this. You own every single book, including Heroes of Olympus and Trials of Apollo when the rest of the series comes out. You're planning on adding a lot more things to this list. You call yourself a demigod. You wish with every fiber of your being that The Lightning Thief told the truth, and Percy Jackson was real. You start hearing Percabeth in every song you hear. (Guys I'm serious. Like every single one. I'm a little concerned for my sanity.) You know PJO better then most (most?! No true PJO fan is sane) sane people Your godly parent is... (I love this) OooooooooO ZEUS (Jason and Thalia Grace) You like being in charge you often wish you could just zap someone with a thunder bolt you were voted Class President you do what's best for everyone you think you have what it takes to run for president you think every problem has a solution you love showing off you like plane rides you are hydrophobic 4/9 OoooooooooO POSEIDON (Percy Jackson) you feel at home in the water your favorite vacation place is at the beach you enjoy snorkeling, scuba diving, surfing etc. you want to do something about the marine species being abused today you visit the local pool on a regular basis you swim professionally you hate seafood you never get seasick You'd rather ride a boat than a plane you are acrophobic (sometimes, okay?) 4/10 OoooooooooO HADES (Nico Di Angelo) you're not that much of a people person you like staying in the dark you experience bad moods on a regular basis you like listening to loud angry music you spend most of your time alone you think parties are something loud and annoying you like to keep to yourself all your closets are padlocked you write in a diary/journal you feel most active at night 1/10 OoooooooooO DEMETER (Katie Gardner) You own a garden You like the great outdoors you have a green thumb you are an environmentalist you have a special connections with animals you're vegetarian You like going hiking, camping, and looking at the natural wonders of the world you always check a product if it's environmentally/friendly you love going to flower shops You think global warming is a threat that must be dealt with 3/10 OoooooooooO ARES (Clarisse La Rue) you often start fights you're a very aggressive type of person you like watching wrestling you're competitive you like reading about war you don't take crap from anybody You have anger management you never back away from a fight everyone does what you say you don't always think before you do something 3/10 OoooooooooO ATHENA (Annabeth Chase) you have an insatiable thirst of knowledge you're probably the only person that visits the library on a regular basis half of your birthday presents last year were books (Percy Jackson and Harry Potter baby!) you like reading about war, mostly about the reasons and controversies about it You're one of the smartest people in your class You mostly get grades above 90 in tests you get political jokes without asking people to explain them you think it would be better if you were the president you have a huge shelf of books at home you think vinyl pockets protectors are very useful 7/10 OoooooooooO APOLLO (Will Solace) you're very creative and artistic (creative, yes. artistic, no) you like listening to all kinds of music in general you always feel sunny and optimistic you are talented at drawing you like writing poetry you can play at least three musical instruments you like going to art museums you almost always win 1st place in art contests you have straight As in Art on your report card Your school notebook had more doodles than notes 3/10 OoooooooooO HUNTER OF ARTEMIS (Zoe Nightshade) You dislike boys in general a deer is one of your favorite animals You can shoot targets You like silver you like the moon better than the sun Zoe Nightshade is awesome you love wild animals You spend most of your time outdoors You love to move around the place Hunting is not cruel if it's to hunt down monsters 9/10 OoooooooooO HEPHAESTUS (Bad Boy Supreme, Team Leo, Mr. McShizzle) You have a way with tools You build awesome things during your free time You're the best at wood shop in your class Metal working is your forte You have your own tool box You often search the Internet to look for pictures of robots You're a techie You often have carpentry projects You dream of being a carpenter You aren't afraid of fire 0/10 (wow, I'm not Hephaestus at all) OoooooooooO APHRODITE (Silena Beauregard) Every guy/girl swoons for you you like putting make up you naturally smell good (I don't really have a smell... I think) you never experience a bad hair day you're favorite activity is clothes shopping you're always at the front of every trend you're the popular girl/guy at your school You're often invited to parties You're motto is "it's never a party without me" You look yourself in the mirror on a regular basis 2/10 OoooooooooO HERMES (Luke Castellan) you like pick pocketing your friends you're a prankster you're a speed demon you consider your self restless You're the best speaker in the class You like thinking on your feet and using your wits You're inventive and resourceful You often start arguments You never lost a debate You like making witty and sarcastic comment 4/10 OoooooooooO DIONYSUS (Dakota) You're the life of the party You like wine You've probably tasted every alcohol drink out there You can finish a martini in less than a minute you have a happy, cheerful disposition You're a foodie You like going to social events and mingling with people You like trying out new food You feel that you're abundant in life You think that too much of anything is bad 3/10 OoooooooooO 1. Hunters of Artemis 9/10 (YAY! I've actually always wanted to be a Hunter of Artemis, but I wished I could date boys) 2. Athena 8/10 (heck yeah baby) 3. Zeus 4/10 3. Poseidon 4/10 3. Hermes 4/10 4. Ares 3/10 4. Demeter 3/10 5. Dionysus 3/10 5. Apollo 3/10 6. Hades 1/10 7. Hephaestus 0/10 Sooo... No Hephaestus, basically no Hades, tiny bit of Apollo, tiny bit of Dionysus, tiny bit of Ares.lots of Hermes, some of Demeter, some of Poseidon, some of Zeus, mostly Athena, basically a Hunter of Artemis. That should tell most of you what you need to know about me. You're welcome! Things Learned From Percy Jackson- 1. When in doubt, find the dam snack bar-The Titans Curse 2. With great power comes a great need to take a nap-The Last Olympian 3. Paradises are places that can get you killed- The Battle of the Labyrinth 4. Gods get offended easily. Then they blow stuff up.- The Titans Curse 5. You can fight monsters, see Annabeth, and make things go BOOM at the same time.-The Battle of the Labyrinth 6. You can't fix a person like a machine.-The Battle of the Labyrinth 7. Monster will vaporize when sliced by a celestial bronze sword.-The Battle of the Labyrinth 8. Avoid poisonous swords or you'll die, after you shrivel slowly to dust-The Battle of the Labyrinth 9. Anything is possible: including blue food and that Percy can pass seventh grade - The Sea of Monsters 10. People, and horses, who call Mr. D. the wine dud end up in a bottle of Merlot.- The Titans Curse 11. Three kids can drown in a really big bath.- The Lightning Thief 12. Everything strange washes up in Miami-The Sea of Monsters 13. You can't enjoy practical jokes when you feel like one.-The Last Olympian 14. Just say hello to the poodle.-The Lightning Thief 15. When you need Tantalus to go away, tell him to chase a donut. -The Sea of Monsters 16. Even heroes drool in their sleep- The Lightning Thief 17. When things seem bad enough, they usually breathe fire.-The Sea of Monsters 18. When barnyard animals don't want to kill you, they want food.-The Lightning Thief 19. Don't blow your nose when someone near you is running from skeletons.-The Titans Curse 20. Don't beat a god in a video game- he might want your soul. -The Last Olympian We caught the Thief We sailed the Sea We fought the Curse We journeyed through the Labyrinth We saved the Olympian We thought it was over We discovered the Hero We found the Son We followed the Mark We've seen the House We shed the Blood We thought it was over... again We located the Oracle We heard the Prophecy We went through the Maze We destroyed the Tomb We shall climb the Tower YOU ARE NOW LEAVING THE PERCY JACKSON SECTION! THANK YOU, COME AGAIN. YOU ARE NOW ENTERING THE HARRY POTTER SECTION! YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED. Twenty-four problems all Harry Potter Fans will understand: (I got this from Pottermore, I do not own anything) Feeling victimized because you have to lug suitcases and bags every time you go on vacation instead of using an Undetectable Extension Charm like Hermione. Noticing distinctive birthmarks or markings on strangers and spending way too much time wondering what kind of Animagus they are. Spotting an owl and expecting it to stop and deliver your post. Whispering Lumos every time you turn on a light/ Nox every time you turn it off. When all you want is a warming Butterbeer-seriously, is that too much to ask? Finding yourself on an inconsolable heap on the couch after re-reading your favorite character's death even though you've read it hundreds of times and knew it was coming. Making random hissing noises at snakes hoping that your Parseltongue has been lying dormant all these years and one day, they'll answer you back. The abject horror at finding out that one of your friends hasn't read the Harry Potter series, followed by a serious internal debate at why you're friends with them in the first place. ... followed by an indescribable jealousy because they have such a glorious journey of discovery ahead of them. Experiencing a kind of rage that only sending a Howler will soothe. An angry text or a sharply worded email just isn't the same. Learning how to knit so you can recreate the socks that Dobby made for Harry. Eyeing up eccentrically dressed strangers and wondering if they're wizards in disguise. When you're stuck outside on a freezing cold day, lamenting the fact that you're not Hermione and can't conjure up warming blue fire in a jar. Shouting Alohamora confidently when you're locked out, only to discover that you're still locked out because that's a stick you're holding, not a wand. People catch you reading Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone/Any Harry Potter book and say, "Haven't you already read that one? Binge watching all the films and giving yourself a headache from crying so much. Bellowing Expelliarmus at people during arguments. Being asked to give a speak and discovering "Nitwit", "Blubber, "Odment", "Tweak", don't quite cut it. Desperately wishing being an Auror was an legitimate career. Now what am I supposed to do with my life? Catching sight of a cat with 'spectacles' around its eyes and wondering... When you wake up with a head full of Nargles and no one else understands. Staying up until twelve in the morning on all of your birthdays, desperately wishing that Hagrid will come and give you a letter to Hogwarts after all this time. Randomly quoting the Harry Potter books to your friends and they all look at you blankly. When you start reading another book and have to stop because it's just not Harry Potter. (except Percy Jackson). THE HARRY POTTER PLEDGE (I got this from something on Wattpad and edited it bit) I promise to remember Harry when the time comes to be courageous No matter what happens and no matter how outrageous I promise to remember Ron when I am feeling overshadowed When I am pushed to the side and the spotlight is borrowed I promise to remember Hermione when I am picked on for being smart And to remember that we are also judged by the purity of our hearts I promise to remember James and Lily when someone dies before their time Especially if it happens during their prime I promise to remember Dumbledore and help the greater good To help the world and always to what he would I promise to remember "I solemnly swear that I am up to no good" Like the Marauders truly understood I promise to remember Fred and George when I ever need a laugh And try not to be sad when only out of two remains only half I promise to remember Lupin and fight for human rights Even when the rest of the world never sees your real plight I promise to remember Tonks when I'm feeling hyper and cheery And bring up the spirits of those who are feeling dreary I promise to remember Hedwig who lived and died soaring Her presence makes everything anything but boring I promise to remember Percy when ambition gets the best of me I no matter what, I will never leave the family that loves me I promise to remember constant vigilance for Moody's sake, of course And in the presence of an enemy, never show remorse I promise to remember Hagrid who sees beauty in that which is ugly Even if it can be a bit bloody I promise to remember Neville when I stand up for what is right Even if I am the only one willing to fight I promise to remember the Golden Trio when a friend says, "I'll be there" Together our problems and hardships we bear I promise to remember Ginny when I must face my fears And fight despite my being so young in years I promise to remember Dobby when asked the fight of freedom And remember that no matter what the world says, I can be anyone I promise to remember Luna when I dare to be different Though sometimes I often feel insignificant I promise to remember Draco when I make a bad choice and pay for it But my enemy forgives me, despite our disagreements For Harry Potter changed my life Despite it being long And no matter what anyone says I will always sing its song. We defended the Stone We found the Chamber We rescued the Prisoner We were chosen by the Goblet We joined the Order We learned from the Prince And we mastered the Hallows We are the Harry Potter Generation Harry Potter Quiz!! This is long but I was bored. I also deleted a couple questions cuz they were not relevant. Question 1:What is your favourite Harry Potter book and why? My favorite Harry Potter book is... AGH i can't decide. I really like the third book, because it's really interesting and the plot twist that Sirius was good... MAN. THAT GOT ME SO HARD. Question 2: What is your least favorite Harry Potter book and why? My least favorite is Chamber of Secrets. I dunno, I just don't like it. I don't like possession, so, that might be it. Question 4:What is your favourite Harry Potter movie and why? Favourite Harry Potter movie is definitely Half-Blood Prince. It's really funny and all the young actors are getting really great, and it's just amazing. It's like a deep breath before the depressingness of DHP1. Question 5: What is your least favorite Harry Potter movie and why? Deathly Hallows Part 1. It's just sad, and a little boring. I do love the scene where Harry and Hermione dance in the tent. That is so adorable. I don't ship Harry/Hermione though. Question 6:Who is your favourite character? YOU CAN'T MAKE ME CHOOSE. Ginny, but I like all of the characters! I like the Golden Six (harry, ron, hermione, luna, ginny, neville) Question 7:What is your favourite spell? Accio. It would be so useful. Question 5:Who is your favourite teacher at Hogwarts? McGonagall. She's the best! Question 6:Who is your favourite Death Eater (Voldemort included)? Why do I have to choose? I guess Snape is cool because he's actually good. Question 7:Who is your favourite Hogwarts Student? Ginny, or harry, or ron, or hermione, or luna, or neville. Again, YOU CAN'T MAKE ME CHOOSE. Question 8:What house would you want to be in? Which house do you think you would be sorted into? Ravenclaw and Ravenclaw. I'm a bit of a Hufflepuff too, but I'm not the sorting hat, so I don't know. Question 9:Would you join the Order or the Death Eaters? The order. OBVIOUSLY. That would be insanely cool. And of course terrifying. But cool. Question 10:Who would be your best friend? Ginny. I think we'd laugh together. BUT NOT THE MOVIE GINNY. THE MOVIE GINNY IS AN EMOTIONLESS HUSK. Question 11:What is your favorite magical creature? Phoenix! Question 13:What is your favorite class at Hogwarts? Charms is fun. Question 14:Would you like to throw Dolores Umbridge into a boiling vat of acid? Yes. yesyesyesyesyesyesyesyes. Azkaban was to lenient a punishment, especially since there are no more dementors there. Question 15:What character would you dress up as for Halloween? Hermione! Question 16:How did you get your copy of The Deathly Hallows? XD i like how this just assumes that you have a copy of DH. I have found my people. I bought it for my birthday. Question 17:How did you get into Harry Potter? My mom started reading it to me when I was seven years old. After the first four chapters I stole it from her and read the entire rest of the series and finished it by the time I was nine. Hehe. Question 18:What is one memorable experience you have had involving the series? My mom read the end of the sixth book to me and she couldn't finish the chapter when Snape killed Dumbledore. I don't have a super memorable moment. Question 19:Have you ever seen a movie you were particularly interested in, simply because it had a Harry Potter actor in it? Yes! I walked in on someone who was watching the Circle once and I was like Gasp is that Emma Watson? I'm watching this! Question 20:Would you go to Hogwarts, Durmstrang, or Beaubatons? Hogwarts. DUH. Question 21:What was your favorite Triwizard task? The dragon. That was fun! Question 22:Before you read The Deathly Hallows, what was your opinion of Snape? I thought he was a jerk. I still do. Question 23:Do you read or write fanfiction? No, I stole all my stories from people. OF COURSE I WRITE FANFICTION Question 24:Which spell do you wish you could use in real life? What are you talking about? I can use spells in real life? Muggles! (scourgify because it's really useful) Question 25:What position would you play in Quidditch? Chaser. Question 26:What was your favorite moment in any of the books? When Ginny kissed Harry. Some well needed cheering-up. Question 27:What event in the series did you wish had happened differently? I wish Lupin and Tonks had not died. That is the death that makes me the most mad. Question 28:Would you join the DA YES YES YES YES YES THAT WOULD BE SO COOL Question 29:Do you think Voldemort has EVER had a girlfriend? Nope! Never! HE CAN'T LOVE YA IDIOTS Question 30:What type of wand would you have? Hold on, pulling up my Pottermore account (oh wait it's wizarding world online or whatever now. Don't care I wish they'd kept it the same I can't find all my favorite articles now). Ahem... pear wood with a dragon heartstring core, 13 inches and quite bendy. Question 31:What would your pet be? Cat or an owl or both. Question 32:If you could belong to any family in the series, which would it be? The Potters. Before they died of course. I just feel like they would be really loving. Question 33:Which Hallow would you most like to have? I know you're supposed to say the cloak, but honestly... I'd like to have the Elder Wand. Question 34:What is your favorite horcrux? NO. JUST NO. Question 35:What would your patronus be? Mine is a dolphin. Question 36:What would be your animagus form? Hmmm... I've never thought about that. I'm pretty sure it's the same as your patronus, so dolphin? Question 37:Who is your favorite Marauder? Lupin. Question 38:If you went to Diagon Alley, where would you go first? Wand shop! Question 39:Favorite member of the Black family? Sirius. DUH. Question 40:Favorite member of the Weasley family? Ginny! Followed closely by Ron, followed closely by Fred. (all my favorite people die) Question 41:Who should have won the Triwizard Cup? You mean like, without Harry and Moody interfering? I think Krum, honestly. All three of them got past the dragon, Krum and Cedric got their hostages but Fleur got caught by a Grindylow, so... I guess it would have been down to Krum and Cedric and I think Krum is more skilled. Question 42:Who is your favorite actor in the films? Emma Watson! I think she's really cool. Question 43: How many times have you read Harry Potter? Fifteen, or sixteen times? Question 44:Who is your favorite couple? Remus and Tonks. All of my favorites die. Question 45: Are you a wizard? Yep! YOU ARE NOW LEAVING THE HARRY POTTER SECTION. THANK YOU, COME AGAIN. YOU ARE NOW ENTERING THE LORD OF THE RINGS SECTION. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED. The Lord of the Rings Fandom Survey The First Character you fell in love with: Aragorn!! The character you never expected to love: SAMWISE THE BRAVE The character you don't like but everyone else does: Okay, so... I'm gonna say Legolas, but 'don't like' is too strong a phrase. I didn't fall in love with Legolas, but I don't exactly not like him. I have a neutral opinion. The character you are most like: probably Eowyn, because I hate being cooped up inside. The character you would slap: Denethor. I hate him as much as Umbridge, and that's saying something. I found this game where it's just a remix of gandalf spanking him and it's amazing. Three favorite characters: Aragorn, Sam, Faramir Favorite pairing: Aragorn and Arwen, or Sam and Rosie. Favorite non-canon pairing: Uh... I haven't found any non-canon pairing for this fandom yet. (except, of course, the millions upon millions of LegolasxOC fanfictions, but we don't count those.) As an answer, I'll quote Rick Riordan: I think most shipping these days can be done without the use of cannons. The Lord of the Rings Fanfiction Commandments--by Lord Elrond and the Eyebrows of DOOM (okay technically they're by Araloth the Random) Thou shalt not torture Aragorn or Legolas to the point of insanity only to resurrect them again for more torture and the fulfillment of sadistic whims. Thou shalt not drive Legolas to the brink of mental instability. Thou shalt not neglect characters of seemingly minor importance, for thou shalt be sued by the League of Under-Represented Characters. Characters shall not emerge from thy stories traumatized. Thy characters shall address no one in Middle Earth with incessant giggling, numerous punctuation marks, or text speech, for it is odious in the sight of the Valar and all rational beings Thou shalt read the books of the Tolkien before thou writest anything--all-night movie marathons doth not count as research. Thou shalt avoid with all thy mind and heart Mary Sues and the evil they emit. Thou shalt remember that the Fellowship doth consist of Nine, and Nine ONLY. Nine walkers there were, and Nine Walkers there shall ever be, Amen. Above all, forgive harsh reviews and love one another in a strictly platonic sense. YOU ARE NOW LEAVING THE LORD OF THE RINGS SECTION. YOU ARE NOW ENTERING THE RANGER'S APPRENTICE SECTION. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED. Ranger's Apprentice/ Brotherband Chronicles Fandom Quiz Ranger, Knight, Courier, or Skirl? Ranger. ALL. THE. WAY. If you were a Ranger, whose apprentice would you like to be? I feel like Gilan would be fun, but I mean Halt is just, like, Halt, so... *shrugs* Favorite character? Evanlyn. I mean Cassandra. Except not the way they portray her in the first royal ranger book. She's not that overprotective! Character you don't like but everyone else does? Alyss. I'm sorry, she just drives me nuts when she's grown up. I don't know why. Non-canon pairing: Cassandra and Will. I was SO hoping they'd get together and then Will got with Alyss and I was SO MAD! Character you never expected to love: Erak. Oh, and Thorn. Those darn Skandians get me every time. Favorite book: Erak's Ransom. I loved that one so much, and the Kings of Clonmel. Character you are most like: Probably a mix between Halt, because I'm super sarcastic, and Evanlyn, because I'm not as grim as Halt and Evanlyn's amazing. DOES EVERYONE KNOW THAT THERE'S GOING TO BE A RANGER'S APPRENTICE MOVIE???!! I'M SO EXCITED! They better do it right, unlike SOME people... *cough cough* percy jackson movie *cough cough* YOU ARE NOW LEAVING THE RANGER'S APPRENTICE SECTION. All credits of this beautiful speech goes to Nic-n'-Nyx. Copied from Drag0nst0rm's profile. You may be a reject. You may not be smooth with the spoken word. You may be the most popular kid in school. You may be the boss at your office. You may be short or tall or heavy or light or anorexic or white or dark or struck by an unfriendly label. You may be the homeless guy on the corner or the one inside the store signing books as you hand them out. You may listen to Justin Bieber or to Three Days Grace. But what you are is a writer; never doubt the power of what you can do. Tell me, what did you learn more from this year; the President, or the Hunger Games? The senator or Rick Riordan? The public speaker or Clarissa Fray? Your boss or Pi Patel? American Idol or the Twilight Saga? A list of facts or Harry Potter? Which of them stole the most of your time? Which is more well-known? It's the book. Every time. People fail to realize flaws in our society in their own lives, but they see it in District Twelve and in the Capitol. Books make clear what we can't see with the naked eye. Authors are the ones that speak to people's hearts. Writers are the ones people turn to for lessons and entertainment. It's been this way for thousands of years. We are the teachers of every child who opens a book. The themes we write are the themes they learn. We are there in every life, a quiet influence bound in a pretty cover, months' worth of work and reading, colored with imagery built around the lightning rod of an unforgettable plot line. A story spent months reading is memorable more than a speech listened to for just five minutes. I can't name all the leaders of the world right now, nor what they decide to preach about, but I can tell you all the characters from Percy Jackson, and every little thing they taught me. And they are things worth learning. So don't think there's a better way to make a point. Don't think there's a better way to reach your audience. Fiction stories have been striking the hearts of their readers farther back than anyone alive can remember. And striking the heart is what makes literature so different from everything else. Don't ever doubt your ability to show someone something new, to teach them a life lesson, or the importance of what you have to say. Say it in this foreign language everyone knows. Decorate it with characters and light it with sights and smells and sounds and touches and tastes and give it to the public gift-wrapped with your finest effort. Because I guarantee you, someone is bound to hear you clearer than they've heard anyone else before. I hope you've found some words of inspiration. The world needs it desperately. Do us all a favor, all you writers, and come out of hiding. We've had the greatest influence of all over people of the past, and as we act now, we are the ones influencing the future. We have more knives and pens than the BVB Army, more sway in society than the Senate (whom we have proved this to before), more power than any celebrity you could name. I'm calling on you now. Rise up. I dare you to write something today that readers won't forget. I challenge you to make someone cry with one thin little page of text. I urge, no, I demand you to put something down on paper that'll be copied and produced and remembered for longer than Ancient Mythologies have been. I dare you to slam a revolving door. I demand you to write a message in the folds of a book and watch how, in awe, people unwrap it. Watch your footprints stand bold against the falling snow and refuse to be covered. It is all possible, I assure you. You have no idea just what power you hold in a pen - or a keyboard - until you use it. And right now, the world needs you to use it more than ever. We, writers, have made history. We were the ones to record it. And that ability has not changed at all, just our awareness and will to use it. We were given the gift language and storytelling for a reason. This is that reason. It's calling. So ask yourself what message you want to send. Ponder about what you want to say. Because the world is listening to us above all other beings currently on this earth. Us, not the movies, not the official-labeled politicians, not the superstars. And it's our job to give it a story that's worthwhile. What's yours? |
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