Name: Just call me Eleanor de la Mortis

You call me weird,
You call me strange,
But weird doesn't care,
Strange doesn't care,
And guess what?
I DON'T CARE!

2:30 U.S. time, March 25: I just got to B&N and picked up CoG! I'm so excited I'm shaking. So far it's reaaaaaaaaally good, and I (embarassingly) squealed at the first mention of Magnus and Alec. Although right now I'm kinkda bummed at the state of their (lack of a) relationship since Alec is in Idris and Magnus isn't. Hope it turns out the way I want it to (i.e. Magnus and Alec get together. Forever. And ever and ever and ever and ever and ever... Ok. I'm done.)

When life gives you lemons...Spike the lemonade!

I am a opinionated girl who does not appreciate being told what to do. Flying is easy. Jump of a building and miss the ground.

Everybody makes mistakes. The trick is to make them when no one is looking.

I am a small girl with curly blond hair and hazel eyes. And my skin is pale. I am a teenager. You steal my stories, I will report you. Got it?

EVER WONDER...
Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin?

Why women can't put on mascara with their mouth closed?

Why don't you ever see the headline
"Psychic Wins Lottery"?

Why is "abbreviated" such a long word?

Why is it that doctors call what they do
"practice"?

Why is it that to stop Windows 98, you
have to click on "Start"?

Why is lemon juice made with artificial
flavor, and dishwashing liquid made
with real lemons?

Why is the man who invests all your money
called a broker?

Why is the time of day with the slowest
traffic called rush hour?

Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?

When dog food is new and improved
tasting, who tests it?

Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes?

Why do they sterilize the needle for
lethal injections?

You know that indestructible black box
that is used on airplanes? Why don't
they make the whole plane out of that
stuff?

Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?

Why are they called apartments when they
are all stuck together?

If con is the opposite of pro, is
Congress the opposite of progress? Hee-hee.

If flying is so safe, why do they call
the airport the terminal?

--
In case you needed further proof that the
human race is doomed through stupidity,
here are some actual label instructions
on consumer goods.

On a Sears hairdryer: Do not use while
sleeping. ( and that's the only time
I have to work on my hair)

On a bag of Fritos: ..You could be a
winner! No purchase necessary.Details
inside. (the shoplifter special?)

On a bar of Dial soap: "Directions:
Use like regular soap." (and that would
be how??...)

On some Swanson frozen dinners:
"Serving suggestion: Defrost." (but, it's
"just" a suggestion).

On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on
bottom): "Do not turn upside down."
(well...duh, a bit late, huh)!

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: "Product will be hot after heating." (...and you thought??...)

On packaging for a Rowenta iron: "Do
not iron clothes on body." (but wouldn't this save me more time)?

On Boot's Children Cough Medicine:"Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication." (We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.)

On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May
cause drowsiness." (and...I'm taking this because??...)

On most brands of Christmas lights:
"For indoor or outdoor use only." (as
opposed to...what)?

On a Japanese food processor: "Not
to be used for the other use." (now,
somebody out there, help me on this. I'm
a bit curious.)

On Sunsbury's peanuts: "Warning: contains nuts." (talk about a news flash)

On an American Airlines packet of nuts:
"Instructions: Open packet, eat
nuts." (Step 3: maybe, uh...fly Delta?)

On a child's superman costume:
"Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly." (I don't blame the company.
I blame the parents for this one.)

On a Swedish chainsaw:"Do not
attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals." (..was there a lot of
this happening somewhere?)

Stereotypes.

Sarcasm: just one of the services I offer.

I'm not so good at advice. Can I interest you in a sarcastic comment?

When I say LOL I'm not laughing out laud. I just have nothing better to say.

I find "good morning" a contradiction of terms

You say I'm not cool. But cool is another word for cold. If I'm not cold, I'm hot. I know I'm hot. Thanks for embracing it.

I'm so gangster, I carry a squirt gun.

Last night, I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and thought to myself, "Where the heck is the ceiling?"

I’ve got nothing to say, don’t make me say it twice.

Just because I’m beautiful, doesn’t mean I’m not talented.

I’m too busy to be organized.

Fake is the latest trend, and everyone seems to be in style.

I use to be indecisive, but now I’m not sure.

It matters not whether you win or lose: what matters is whether I win or lose.

My Reality Check bounced.

Perfect the art of looking innocent... then you can get away with anything.

When you’re right no one ever remembers. When you’re wrong, no one ever forgets.

Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, and the other was eating fireworks. They charged one and let the other off.

A woman’s mind is cleaner than a man’s, she changes it more often.

My door is always open, so feel free to leave.

Hate: a special kind of love given to people that suck.

Slinky’s are like People… basically useless but it's so amusing to watch them fall down the stairs.

If you don't like me, there is nothing I can do. Here's a newsflash honey, I don't live to please you.

If you have any questions, ask someone else.

Shock me, say something intelligent

I hear voices and they don’t like you.

Everyone has a wild side-me and my friends just prefer to make them public.

I've got ADD and magic markers. Oh, the fun I will have.

It's always the last place you look...of course it is, why would I keep looking after I found it?

I used to be normal, until I met the freaks that I call my friends.

I ran with scissors, and lived!

You cry, I cry, you laugh, I laugh, you fall off a cliff, I laugh even harder.

When it rains on my party, I bust out the slip n' slide.

A friend is someone who reaches for your hand and touches your heart.

Love is like the wind... you can’t see it, but you can feel it.

Love is like war: easy to start, hard to end, and impossible to forget.

Always forgive your enemies, noting annoys them so much.

My imaginary friend thinks you have serious problems.

It takes a minute to like someone, an hour to know someone, a day to love someone, but a lifetime to forget them.

The greatest challenge in life is to find someone who knows all your flaws, differences, and mistakes, and yet still sees the best in you.

Why are the Force and duct tape the same?-Both have a light and dark side and hold the universe together.

Don't settle for the one person you can live with...wait for the one person you can't live without.

My head is saying "Who cares?" but my heart is saying "You do stupid!"

You know what makes letting go of a crush so hard? The fear that the moment you let go, they'll catch on.

I'm one of those really bad things that happens to undeserving people.

I wear black because I'm mourning your existence.

Update! 8/8/08 - Ok, I was at a strings camp (I play violin) all week from 9 AM to 4:30PM, so I got up @ 6 and got home around 5. So, I couldn't update. Now, I'm going on vacation for a week. I'm driving up tomorrow. I am bringing a comp. book and I will work on Sugar and Spice, and also any oneshots/ stories in the making untl I get back. Then I wil type up and post all the stuff that I've finished that I think is good. So, that means no updates for a littl more than a week. Sorry. I'll be back soon, though. I am determined to get up at least one more oneshot/chapter before school.

8/30/08 - I'm sorry! I was actually busy at the beach (in a good way, havi fun), so I didn't ge to write anything. I'm trying to find some inspiration for chapter three (but really two) of S.and S., bu so far I don't have anythi. Should I do something about Draco's life? Something on teir first meeting? Something else? Review! Help me out, guys!

1/30/09 Happy New Year everyone! Yes, I know that's late. I just read an anonymous review/flame by kira (I dunno shrugs) saying my DOOM was a total "discrase". LOL. Yeah, I know. So, you can log in to flame me, I don't care. You might want to learn how to SPELL first, though. And if you don't log in, I'm just going to think you're a coward and that you have even crappier stories, so you can't talk. Or flame, in this case. It just cracked me up. I posted another one-shot, and I have no more chapters for anything yet. I'm considering writing some more for DOOM! I have a one-shot almost finished, its Ending the Beginning's sequel. I'm also beta-ing a new story amd I will be happy to beta anyone else's as long as you read my requirements on my beta profile. Trust me, my beta-ing skills are much better than my story writing skills, but I'm hoping FF will help w/ my writing.