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![]() Author has written 3 stories for Twilight, and Harry Potter. HEY GUYS! I am writing a new fic and am also re-writing my fic "Stay" which will be called "Love Ain't Gonna Wait For You"! Please Read and Review!! ENJOY!!! :) TWILIGHT MANIA!!! Emmett Cullen: Stronger Than You since 1916 Jasper Hale: Charming Ladies since 1843 Alice Cullen: Quirkier than You since 1901 Rosalie Hale: Better Than You since 1916 Edward Cullen: Sexier Than You since 1901 Bella Swan: Clumsier than you since 1989 TWILIGHT QUOTES MIGHT BE SPOILERS "Fine! Do! I can't wait to see what Edward does to you! I hope he snaps your neck, you pushy, obnoxious, moronic, DOG!" ~Bella Swan '' Look after my heart, I left it with you. '' ~ Edward Cullen '' The pillows all appear to have survived. '' ~ Bella Cullen '' But I wouldn't use the word beautiful. Not with you standing here in comparison. '' ~ Edward Cullen '' That was quite graceful-even for a vampire. '' ~ Edward Cullen '' You stupid mutt! How could you? My baby! '' ~ Bella Cullen '' I've held her all of one time, and already you think you have some moronic wolfy claim to her!? She's mine! '' ~ Bella Cullen '' You nicknamed my daughter after the Loch Ness Monster?! '' ~ Bella Cullen BLONDE JOKES - COPY AND PASTE ONTO YOUR PROFILE!! (IF ANY OF YOU READING THIS ARE BLOND'S, PLEASE DON'T FEEL INSULTED! IT'S JUST A JOKE : ) This blonde is driving down an old country road when she spots another blonde in a wheat field rowing a boat. She pulls over to the side of the road and stops the car. Staring in disbelief, she stands at the side of the road to watch the woman for a while. When she can't stand it any more, she calls out to the blonde in the field, The blonde in the field stops rowing and responds, 'Because it is an ocean of wheat.' The blonde standing at the side of the road is furious. She yells at the blonde in the field, 'It is dumb blondes like you that give the rest of us a bad name.' The blonde in the field just shrugs her shoulders and begins rowing again. The blonde on the side of the road is beside herself and shakes her fist at the blonde in the field yelling, Two blondes were walking through the woods and they came to some tracks. The first blonde said, 'These look like deer tracks,' They argued and argued for a quite while and they were still arguing when the train hit them. One day this blonde calls her friend and says, Her friend asks, 'What is it a puzzle of?' The blonde says, 'From the picture on the box, it's a tiger.' Well, the friend figures that he's pretty good at puzzles, so he heads over to her place. She lets him in the door and shows him to where she has the pieces spread all over the table. He studies them for a moment, then studies the box. He turns to her and says, 'Well, no matter what I do, I'm not going to be able to show you how to assemble these to look like the picture of that tiger.' She asks, 'Oh, how come?' He says, 'Look, never mind, let's just relax, have a cup of coffee and we'll put all these cornflakes back in the box.' A blonde decides to try horseback riding, even though she has had no lessons or prior experience. She mounts the horse unassisted and the horse immediately springs into motion. It gallops along at a steady and rhythmic pace, but the blonde begins to slip from the saddle. In terror, she grabs for the horse's mane, but cannot seem to get a firm grip. She tries to throw her arms around the horse's neck, but she slides down the side of the horse anyway. The horse gallops along, seemingly ignorant of its slipping rider. Finally, giving up her frail grip, the blonde attempts to leap away from the horse and throw herself to safety. Unfortunately, her foot becomes entangled in the stirrup, and she is now at the mercy of the horse's pounding hooves as her head is struck against the ground over and over. As her head is battered against the ground, she is mere moments away from unconsciousness when to her great fortune, Bobby, the Wal-Mart greeter, sees her and unplugs the horse. How do you drown a blonde? Why does it take longer to build a blonde snowman as opposed to a regular one? How do you get a twinkle in a blonde's eye? Why don't blondes like making Kool Aide from sachets? Did you hear about the two blondes that were found frozen to death in their car at the drive-in movie theater? Hear about the blonde that got an AM radio? What did the blonde say when she saw the sign in front of the YMCA? Why did the blonde scale the chain-link fence? How do you make a blonde laugh on Saturday? Why do blondes have 'TGIF' written on their shoes? Why did the blonde stare at the can of frozen orange juice? Why do blondes always smile during lightning storms? How can you tell when a blonde sends you a fax? What do you do if a blonde throws a pin at you? How can you tell if a blonde has been using your computer? Why shouldn't blondes have coffee breaks? Three blondes were driving to Disneyland. After being in the car for four hours they finally saw a sign that said 'Disneyland Left' so they turned around and went home. A brunette, redhead and blonde went to a fitness spa for some fun and relaxation. After a stimulating healthy lunch, all three decided to visit the ladies' room and found a strange-looking woman sitting at the entrance who said, 'Welcome to the ladies' room. Be sure to check out our newest feature: a mirror which, if you look into it and say something truthful, you will be awarded with a wish. But, be warned, if you say something false, you will be sucked into the mirror to live in a void of nothingness for all eternity!' The three women quickly entered and upon finding the mirror, the brunette said, 'I think I'm the most beautiful of us three' and in an instant she was surrounded by a pile of money. The redhead stepped up and said, 'I think I'm the most talented of us three,' and she suddenly found the keys to a brand new Jaguar in her hands. Excited over the possibility of having a wish come true, the blonde looked into the mirror and said, 'I think...' and was promptly sucked into the mirror. The police department, famous for its superior canine (K-9) unit, was somewhat taken back by a recent incident. Returning home from work a blonde was shocked to find her house ransacked and burgled. She telephoned the police at once and reported the crime. The police dispatcher broadcast the call on the channels and a K9 unit patrolling nearby was the first on the scene.As the K-9 officer approached the house with his dog on a leash the blonde ran out onto the porch, clapped a hand to her head and moaned, 'I come home from work to find all my possessions stolen, I call the police for help, and what do they do? They send a blind policeman!' X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X RANDOM TWILIGHT QUOTES!! Lion + Lamb = Loch Ness Monster (Quote from a Twilight icon I saw) XXXXXXXXXXXX "You. Me. Forest floor. Now." (Another Twilight icon, pic of Bella & Edward by/in the forest) XXXXXXXXXXXX "Who's afraid of the big bad wolf?" (Jacob ~ New Moon) XXXXXXXXXXXX Edward Cullen is for women what sex is for men - on our minds every 7 seconds. (Yet another Twilight icon) XXXXXXXXXXXX Christmas wish list: 1: Move to Forks. 2: Meet Edward. 3: Become a vampire. (You guessed it...Twilight icon) XXXXXXXXXXXX The Cullen boys; they just don't make them like that anymore. (Twilight icon) XXXXXXXXXXXX Twilight - yeah, I tried reading other books...but then I got bored when no vampires showed up. (Twilight icon) XXXXXXXXXXXX I'm having troubles dealing with the fact that Edward Cullen is a fictional character. (Twilight icon) XXXXXXXXXXXX The meadow. Only a Twilight fan would understand. (Twilight icon) XXXXXXXXXXXX Bella: Look, you've gotta give me some answers. Edward: Yes...no...to get to the other side...1.772... Bella: I don't need the square root of pi! (Bella & Edward ~ Twilight) XXXXXXXXXXXX Breaking Dawn spoiler #5: Edward eats Bella. (Not a real spoiler...Twilight icon) XXXXXXXXXXXX Shhhh...I'm trying to read Stephanie's mind. (Twilight icon) XXXXXXXXXXXX Edward can bust my headboard, bite my pillows, and bruise my body anyday! (Twilight icon) XXXXXXXXXXXX You can keep your apple. I'll take the doctor. (Twilight icon) XXXXXXXXXXXX Twilight - giving hope to clumsy girls everywhere. (Twilight icon) XXXXXXXXXXXX I read Twilight and wasn't addicted...until I got to the second page... (Twilight icon) XXXXXXXXXXXX O.C.D = Obsessive Cullen Disorder (Twilight icon) XXXXXXXXXXXX Team Edward - Because Jacob doesn't sparkle (Twilight shirt) XXXXXXXXXXXX Read Twilight (Or I'll provoke the Volturi and blame you) (Twilight icon) XXXXXXXXXXXX Behold, my sparklies! (Really adorable chibi anime Edward pic I saw) XXXXXXXXXXXX I'm gonna need Jasper to calm me down on November 21st. (Twilight button) XXXXXXXXXXXX Edward Cullen - Better than you since 1901. (Twilight icon) XXXXXXXXXXXX You know you're obsessed with Twilight when you read "The End" and cry. (Twilight icon...the sad thing is, this happened to me...) XXXXXXXXXXXX Only a vampire can love you forever... (Twilight icon) XXXXXXXXXXXX I want to marry Edward Cullen. Do I care that he's fictitious? No. But I'm not sharing, either. (Twilight icon) XXXXXXXXXXXX "Penguins. Lovely." (Edward ~ Eclipse) XXXXXXXXXXXX Screw being a princess. I wanna be a vampire. (Twilight icon) XXXXXXXXXXXX Edward Cullen. Dammit! Why aren't you real?! (Twilight icon) XXXXXXXXXXXX You haven't read Twilight? Okay, shoot yourself in the foot. (Twilight icon) XXXXXXXXXXXX Edward. Better than Jacob. End of story. (Twilight icon...but it's sooooo true. In case you can't tell, I support Team Edward.) XXXXXXXXXXXX You haven't read Twilight?! You fail at life. (Twilight icon) XXXXXXXXXXXX Hogwarts schmogwarts. Send me to Forks! (Where else? Twilight icon) XXXXXXXXXXXX "I'm so posting this on YouTube." (Twilight pic of James holding the video camera from the movie) XXXXXXXXXXXX That's how I like my men: Cold, dead, and sparkly. (Twilight icon) XXXXXXXXXXXX Team Edward - because we wish all guys were this perfect. (Twilight icon) XXXXXXXXXXXX Cullenism. My new religion. (Twilight icon again) XXXXXXXXXXXX Join the dark side. We have sexy vampires. (Another Twilight icon) XXXXXXXXXXXX Twilight made me realize: regular boys aren't good enough. (Twilight icon) XXXXXXXXXXXX Not now; I'm too busy thinking about Twilight. (Another icon) XXXXXXXXXXXX Twilight isn't everything, but it's right up there with breathing. (I'll bet you can't guess what kind of icon this was on!) XXXXXXXXXXXX For Christmas, I want a shiny new Volvo...with a vampire in the front seat. (Yep, a Twilight icon) XXXXXXXXXXXX I cut out pages 73 - 381 of New Moon. Jacob can go die. (Twilight icon, not totally true for me...if Jacob didn't have his parts in New Moon, it would have been too much of a depressing book) XXXXXXXXXXXX I told my boyfriend I was going to give him the manual: "Everything there is to know about being the perfect boyfriend". I handed him Twilight. (Betcha didn't see that one coming! Twilight icon) XXXXXXXXXXXX I'm done waiting for Prince Charming on his white horse. I'd rather wait for Edward Cullen in his silver Volvo. (Awesome Twilight icon) XXXXXXXXXXXX Dr. McSparkly (Twilight icon, no duh talking about Carlisle) XXXXXXXXXXXX Cedric didn't die. He became a vampire! (Twilight icon showing Cedric Diggory from HP 4 & Edward from Twilight) XXXXXXXXXXXX Bite me Cullen. Just do it. (Twilight icon) XXXXXXXXXXXX Bella: Bite me. Edward: Is that an insult or an invitation? (Twilight icon) XXXXXXXXXXXX Dear Jacob, I win. Sincerely, Edward. (I'm not going to put "Twilight icon" below the ones that are just that...I think you can get the point, really, and if you can't, you need help.) XXXXXXXXXXXX Edward Cullen is good at everything. Think about that one for a second. XXXXXXXXXXXX Bella Swan does not approve of your fantasizing about her husband. XXXXXXXXXXXX I keep trying to kidnap Jasper, but Alice is always at his window with a bat, waiting for me. How does she kn- Ohh...riiiiiiight... (I love this one...it's awesomeness) XXXXXXXXXXXX Jasper Hale laughs at your mood ring. XXXXXXXXXXXX Avada Kedavra can't kill a vampire. (yet another reference to the Edward/Cedric (Cedward!) thing) XXXXXXXXXXXX What's sexier than a vampire named Edward? A jealous vampire named Edward. XXXXXXXXXXXX Emos make life hard for Jasper. XXXXXXXXXXXX Bella looked at the pair of kids dressed up as a vampire and a werewolf. "Now why can't the real ones get along so well?" XXXXXXXXXXXX When life gives me lemons, I throw 'em back and demand Edward. XXXXXXXXXXXX I choose ice. XXXXXXXXXXXX I think it's funny how I can talk for hours to random people about Twilight XXXXXXXXXXXX I love you like I love the Twilight saga! Wow, you're freaking special! XXXXXXXXXXXX I never got my letter to Hogwarts...so I'm moving to Forks to live with the Cullens. XXXXXXXXXXXX I spend 50 of my time reading Twilight (or Twilight fics), 30 of my time thinking about Twilight, 10 talking about Twilight, and another 10 waiting for someone else to bring it up so I can talk about it more. (It's sad how true this is for me...) XXXXXXXXXXXX I'm a Twilight fan. That means I'm way cooler than you. XXXXXXXXXXXX Cedric's death meant nothing. Edward could pwn Voldy's sorry ass! XXXXXXXXXXXX TWILIGHT ROCKS FOREVER!! By Myself Links- Chapter 1 Bella's Lecture Outfit - http:///bellas_party_outfit/set?id=25012758 Bella’s House- http:///3096/2761765580_8430e1fe89.jpg Alice and Jasper’s House- Two Brothers Reunite Links- Chapter 1- Bella’s Outfit - http:///bellas_outfit/set?id=24257836 Alice’s Outfit-http:///cgi/set?id=24909805 Rosalie’s Outfit-http:///cgi/set?id=24910204 Chapter 2- The Meadow- http:///aJ6Qi |
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