Deathly Sarcasm
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Joined 11-08-14, id: 6269385, Profile Updated: 05-03-19
Author has written 2 stories for Harry Potter, Percy Jackson and the Olympians, and Magnus Chase and the Gods of Asgard.

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An Aunt's Love by Emma Lipardi reviews
Harry comes home from school and Petunia is upset at the change in her nephew. Petunia decides to do what she should have been doing all along. Dumbledore had better stay away. Petunia Dursley is upset. Warnings on profile.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Drama - Chapters: 76 - Words: 379,616 - Reviews: 15805 - Favs: 13,110 - Follows: 12,758 - Updated: 6/11 - Published: 12/30/2004 - Harry P., Remus L., Petunia D.
The Enemy of my Enemy by VioletOakCypress reviews
Before Spencer Reid joined the FBI, he was a covert agent in the CIA. With his youth and genius at his disposal, he was successful and on his way to become a master spy but then the ultimate betrayal made him want out. Six years he had kept his life a secret from everyone until one day when it all caught back up with him.
Criminal Minds - Rated: T - English - Drama - Chapters: 42 - Words: 45,613 - Reviews: 387 - Favs: 553 - Follows: 455 - Updated: 5/9 - Published: 7/18/2015 - A. Hotchner/Hotch, D. Morgan, D. Rossi, S. Reid - Complete
The Diadone Method by m0untainc1imber reviews
When she thinks no one is looking, Petunia slaps three year old Harry while stuck in traffic. Mafia Lord Salvator Diadone notices and takes action. This is a Harry grows up in the mafia story, with a bit of a twist. ABANDONED.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Humor - Chapters: 18 - Words: 116,209 - Reviews: 1556 - Favs: 5,632 - Follows: 6,481 - Updated: 4/22 - Published: 4/21/2012 - Harry P., Sirius B.
Dodging Prison and Stealing Witches - Revenge is Best Served Raw by LeadVonE reviews
Harry Potter has been banged up for ten years in the hellhole brig of Azkaban for a crime he didn't commit, and his traitorous brother, the not-really-boy-who-lived, has royally messed things up. After meeting Fate and Death, Harry is given a second chance to squash Voldemort, dodge a thousand years in prison, and snatch everything his hated brother holds dear. H/Hr/LL/DG/GW.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 57 - Words: 646,435 - Reviews: 8686 - Favs: 16,994 - Follows: 20,175 - Updated: 4/21 - Published: 10/23/2015 - [Harry P., Hermione G., Daphne G., Ginny W.]
Knight of Wands by kmj1989 reviews
When Violet Evans, older half-sister of Lily Evans Potter, discovered how her nephew, Harry, was being treated, she whisked him away without a second thought. Now, without a place to keep him safe, she turns to an old childhood friend, Sherlock Holmes.
Crossover - Harry Potter & Sherlock - Rated: K+ - English - Family/Adventure - Chapters: 43 - Words: 93,151 - Reviews: 933 - Favs: 2,033 - Follows: 2,215 - Updated: 3/24/2019 - Published: 11/27/2016 - Harry P., Sherlock H., John W., Mary M. - Complete
Ranger's Apprentice Cast Reacts! by Dorano1 reviews
Will and friends read and react to the Ranger's Apprentice series (but not book 12). Takes place shortly after Lost Stories. Disclaimer - all I own is the reactions. Not the characters, not the books, not nothin' but the unbolded words.
Ranger's Apprentice - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Adventure - Chapters: 50 - Words: 152,798 - Reviews: 887 - Favs: 377 - Follows: 432 - Updated: 7/10/2018 - Published: 1/27/2015 - Will, Horace, Halt - Complete
Son of the Sea God by Sassenach082 reviews
Zeus kills Sally Jackson with his master bolt when Percy is six months old, drastically changing Percy's life and the course of his future. AU.
Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 21 - Words: 72,921 - Reviews: 5696 - Favs: 10,987 - Follows: 11,855 - Updated: 2/17/2018 - Published: 11/17/2012 - Percy J., Poseidon, Triton, Amphitrite
Lineage Ligno: A Family of His Own by Godiva9 reviews
It started out as a simple summer assignment; it ended up changing his life forever. After using a lineage potion for a project, fifteen year old Harry Potter finds out he is not a Potter after all, and that his father is a self-proclaimed Sociopath who committed suicide nearly three years ago. Harry wants answers so he goes to the one man who knew his Dad best, Dr. John Watson
Crossover - Harry Potter & Sherlock - Rated: T - English - Family/Drama - Chapters: 11 - Words: 40,440 - Reviews: 675 - Favs: 2,729 - Follows: 2,966 - Updated: 7/9/2017 - Published: 3/20/2015 - [Sherlock H., John W.] Harry P., Mycroft H. - Complete
A Chance Encounter by spectre4hire reviews
What if Harry didn't bump into the Weasleys at Kings Cross on his first day? What if he met another family? A family that knew his parents. This simple encounter will set him on a different path including new friends and new ambitions. Includes: Slytherin!Harry, Good!Dumbledore, Conflicted!Snape, & Supportive!Remus. Years 1-2. Complete! The Sequel is posted.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Drama/Friendship - Chapters: 28 - Words: 230,481 - Reviews: 2662 - Favs: 9,422 - Follows: 8,883 - Updated: 3/14/2017 - Published: 5/31/2011 - Harry P., Daphne G. - Complete
Alleviate by Forfun100 reviews
"It's a special pediatrics program designed for children who don't want to live in a hospital but need more than Hospice can provide. It's like a home." Oh yes a home, sort of like a retirement home, I guess. A place to live comfortably, until we eventually die. Hospital AU.
Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rated: T - English - Hurt/Comfort/Tragedy - Chapters: 26 - Words: 103,894 - Reviews: 769 - Favs: 527 - Follows: 361 - Updated: 1/7/2017 - Published: 9/6/2014 - [Piper M., Jason G.] [Percy J., Annabeth C.] - Complete
A Bond of Family by daily-chan reviews
After the holidays Harry returns to Hogwarts, but this time he's not alone. Follow Sirius and Remus as they put their own personal stamp on the castle and every resident in it as teachers.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Family/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 42 - Words: 196,721 - Reviews: 877 - Favs: 953 - Follows: 598 - Updated: 3/25/2016 - Published: 6/16/2015 - Harry P., Sirius B., Remus L. - Complete
Becoming Lord Potter-Black by Dolceconbrio reviews
On his sixteenth birthday, Harry gets a letter that tells him that there is more about being an Heir than he thinks.There are certain rules and etiquettes to follow. He learns that not everything is as simple as it seems and decides that he will do everything he can to create choices for everyone. Mild Dumbledore-bashing. No pairing Rated T to be safe. Some mentions of child abuse.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Family/Friendship - Chapters: 23 - Words: 86,211 - Reviews: 1172 - Favs: 3,118 - Follows: 4,121 - Updated: 1/23/2016 - Published: 12/30/2012 - Harry P.
Resolution by tlyxor1 reviews
One does not walk from a near death experience unchanged. It's no wonder, then, when after two action packed years, it's a very different Harry Potter who arrives for his third year at Hogwarts School. new classes, new friends and a very new outlook on life, the Boy Who Lived was always meant for greatness. PoA AU. OOC. Rewrite in progress.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Friendship - Chapters: 40 - Words: 68,073 - Reviews: 1239 - Favs: 2,977 - Follows: 2,650 - Updated: 1/12/2016 - Published: 11/8/2014 - Harry P., Neville L., Theodore N., Susan B. - Complete
Saving Family by arabellalynn reviews
After events take place at Malfoy Manor, Hermione knows her older brother Spencer is in danger. Can she get there in time and can they finally be a family when the war ends? Will the BAU welcome the sister they didn't know Reid had?
Crossover - Harry Potter & Criminal Minds - Rated: T - English - Family - Chapters: 9 - Words: 12,396 - Reviews: 236 - Favs: 600 - Follows: 959 - Updated: 12/31/2015 - Published: 2/10/2015 - Hermione G., S. Reid
The Commoner Queen by Pilargirl reviews
AU. A 1000 years ago, a plague extinguished 3/4 of Britain's magical population, including 3 of the 4 founders; Godric Gryffindor remained and founded a new world, with a monarchy that would last for years to come. Now, Ginny Weasley is the Holyhead Harpies' star Chaser and a simple commoner, but Harry James Potter of Evans and Gryffindor, Prince of Wales, has his eye on her.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 21 - Words: 101,332 - Reviews: 593 - Favs: 730 - Follows: 698 - Updated: 11/14/2015 - Published: 5/21/2011 - Harry P., Ginny W. - Complete
Harry Potter Secret Agent by elerosse13 reviews
It has been a year since the end of the war, Harry has been working as an Auror trying to round up the Deatheater's. Join Harry as he has girl trouble. Is forced to take time off. Gets the surprise of a lifetime handed to him by aunt Petunia. Find family in an unlikely place and makes a name for himself in the US. Rated T because I'm being cautious. NOT SLASH!
Crossover - Harry Potter & NCIS - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 5 - Words: 28,389 - Reviews: 129 - Favs: 650 - Follows: 942 - Updated: 11/11/2015 - Published: 7/6/2015
Reckless by steph2009 reviews
Harry and Hermione, seeking a change and a place to seek refuge after the war, move to America. This slightly reckless desicion sets in motion a series of events that will forever alter their lives, some for the better and some for worse.
Crossover - Harry Potter & Criminal Minds - Rated: T - English - Romance/Crime - Chapters: 14 - Words: 26,511 - Reviews: 176 - Favs: 777 - Follows: 1,247 - Updated: 5/27/2015 - Published: 5/15/2013 - Harry P., Hermione G., S. Reid, Haley H.
There's Something About Molly by DarthKader reviews
First FanFic. Eventual Sherlolly. Molly's past and present collide when she meets someone from her past that she never thought she would see again. Prologue takes place right before Sherlock returns from The Fall. Spoilers for Season 3!
Sherlock - Rated: T - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 53 - Words: 102,164 - Reviews: 146 - Favs: 93 - Follows: 141 - Updated: 5/13/2015 - Published: 9/8/2014 - [Molly Hooper, Sherlock H.] [Mary M., John W.]
Gallagher Academy meets the Greeks by Skylight.love reviews
After the war with Gaea, Chiron decides that the seven should attend the Gallagher Academy. By using the mist he manages to persuade headmistress Morgan into letting all of them attend the all girls school. What will this new environment be like for the seven and how can the Gallagher girls and Zach handle seven trained demigods? - Not finished, still working on this...
Crossover - Percy Jackson and the Olympians & Gallagher Girls - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 7 - Words: 11,851 - Reviews: 25 - Favs: 32 - Follows: 51 - Updated: 4/7/2015 - Published: 12/22/2014 - Annabeth C., Percy J., Cammie M., Zach G.
Twisted Reality by Catastrophic Finale reviews
Percy was a mistake within a mistake but he doesn't know about it yet. Her mother tried to hide it longer but when he met his new guardian, things change, the truth was out creating his own twisted reality. He then unknowingly saves an unusual twelve year old girl who turns out to be the maiden goddess of the hunt. AU. Eventual Percy/Artemis.
Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 18 - Words: 123,502 - Reviews: 960 - Favs: 2,538 - Follows: 2,626 - Updated: 3/5/2015 - Published: 9/9/2013 - [Percy J., Artemis] Zoƫ N., Hestia
With You by My Side by HermiHugs reviews
Harry and Hermione are 'child prodigies'. Destiny managed to throw them together and they form a bond far stronger than any seen in the wizarding world. They use their intelligence to bring innovations into the world that have not been thought before.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Friendship/Adventure - Chapters: 56 - Words: 315,467 - Reviews: 2556 - Favs: 6,454 - Follows: 5,220 - Updated: 12/30/2014 - Published: 2/3/2012 - [Harry P., Hermione G.] [Sirius B., Amelia B.] - Complete
Digging for the Bones by paganaidd reviews
Because of a student death, new measures are being taken to screen students for abuse. With Dumbledore facing an enquiry, Snape is in charge of making sure every student receives an examination. Abused!Harry. Character death. Sevitis. In answer to the "New Measures for Screening Abuse" challenge at Potions and Snitches. Yes, it is a "Snape is Harry's biological father" story.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Tragedy/Drama - Chapters: 62 - Words: 212,292 - Reviews: 6495 - Favs: 10,737 - Follows: 8,484 - Updated: 11/27/2014 - Published: 2/27/2011 - Harry P., Severus S. - Complete
A Different Path by LeighLand94 reviews
Petunia and Vernon go on vacation leaving Harry at Privet Drive. Something happens allowing an owl to bypass the wards. Harry learns of another school before Hogwarts. Read as a different school alters Harry's journey. Very much an AU. Rating is subject to change. All rights go to J.K Rowling.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 5 - Words: 32,937 - Reviews: 288 - Favs: 1,547 - Follows: 1,990 - Updated: 11/22/2014 - Published: 11/10/2014 - Harry P.
A Rose By Any Other Name by Tigereye77 reviews
When Emily Prentiss is called into a consult at NCIS, she finds herself drawn to some of the people there, especially Jethro Gibbs. Gibbs finds himself intrigued by the FBI agent with the large brown eyes and both discover they have much in common.
Crossover - NCIS & Criminal Minds - Rated: T - English - Drama/Mystery - Chapters: 27 - Words: 66,536 - Reviews: 337 - Favs: 271 - Follows: 144 - Updated: 8/28/2012 - Published: 5/15/2011 - Leroy Jethro Gibbs, E. Prentiss - Complete
Cherokee Camp by grugster reviews
After two weeks of torture by Death Eaters, Draco and Harry have to find a way to cope with all their memories. Severus, as their guardian, tries to help and spends some time with them at a therapy camp in the USA. Draco/Harry friendship
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Hurt/Comfort/Friendship - Chapters: 66 - Words: 211,749 - Reviews: 1490 - Favs: 562 - Follows: 534 - Updated: 4/15/2012 - Published: 6/9/2009 - Harry P., Severus S.
Unspeakable Things by Darth Marrs reviews
Formerly Defense for Two. Adopted from Perspicacity with permission. They thought Lockhart was a fraud. They were wrong; he was their guide into a world of danger, adventure, intrigue and other Unspeakable Things.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Adventure/Fantasy - Chapters: 60 - Words: 242,047 - Reviews: 2890 - Favs: 2,881 - Follows: 1,928 - Updated: 2/25/2012 - Published: 11/13/2010 - Harry P., Ginny W. - Complete
The Lion's Roar by James Spookie reviews
The final in the Lion's Trilogy. Dumbledore has died and left Harry one final task. With Daphne, Hermione and Neville at his side, Harry intends to end the war started the night his parents were killed.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Chapters: 17 - Words: 92,847 - Reviews: 503 - Favs: 2,262 - Follows: 880 - Updated: 7/25/2011 - Published: 4/27/2011 - Harry P., Daphne G. - Complete
The Lion's Pride by James Spookie reviews
Second in the Lion's Trilogy. After Ron's death, Harry and company face their sixth year at Hogwarts. Trained by Dumbledore, will they unlock the secret in how to defeat Voldemort? Rated m for content.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 26 - Words: 140,051 - Reviews: 765 - Favs: 2,558 - Follows: 1,229 - Updated: 4/19/2011 - Published: 12/13/2010 - Harry P., Daphne G. - Complete
The Lion Tamer by James Spookie reviews
First in the Lion's Trilogy. Daphne likes Harry, and decides she wants to get to know him. Harry is receptive to her advances. Little do they know of how their blossoming relationship will change the course of fate.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 31 - Words: 142,618 - Reviews: 1443 - Favs: 5,044 - Follows: 2,480 - Updated: 12/7/2010 - Published: 9/9/2010 - Harry P., Daphne G. - Complete
Agent Double O Hex by KafkaExMachina reviews
A "tragic" accident leaves young Harry in the care of a relative that nobody knew existed. It seems Lily Evans had an Uncle named Edmund Bond who had a son he called James.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor/Adventure - Chapters: 3 - Words: 18,289 - Reviews: 867 - Favs: 2,337 - Follows: 2,777 - Updated: 3/7/2008 - Published: 1/18/2008 - Harry P., Hermione G.
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Puzzle Pieces reviews
Series of one-shots to expand Magnus Chase getting in touch with Annabeth. Neither Percy Jackson or Magnus Chase knows of each other but what happens when Magnus calls his cousin Annabeth to explain? This puts together all of the puzzle pieces which have been given throughout both books, what has been left out.
Crossover - Percy Jackson and the Olympians & Magnus Chase and the Gods of Asgard - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 6 - Words: 5,116 - Reviews: 58 - Favs: 122 - Follows: 224 - Updated: 4/18/2016 - Published: 12/5/2015 - Annabeth C., Percy J., Magnus C.
My What? reviews
Pre-5th year,Harry is struggling with the results of the third task. He is given control of his life, and discovers who the Potter family really is. AU, manipulative Dumbledore
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 19 - Words: 61,002 - Reviews: 326 - Favs: 739 - Follows: 969 - Updated: 4/5/2016 - Published: 11/9/2014 - Harry P., Hermione G., Sirius B., Charlus P.